#bastarz

            He made a game of following the street lights along the highway. With all the traffic coming in for the concert, there was barely a car driving the same way he was going. Soon his game led him to the suburbs. Ukwon’s heavily medicated mind didn’t allow him to consider the speed limit would be lower here and at a sudden turn he lost control of the van and it veered into a large tree. He punched the airbag away and was able to get out of the van. He cursed a few times and sat on the curb. He looked up at the house across the street, and in the upstairs window, he saw himself, just like on the side of the van. Another sign from the rock gods!

            Once he finished stumbling across the street he tried to open the door. Locked. That couldn’t be right. The house had to be for him. He jiggled the handle again. Nothing. Frustrated he kicked a flower pot next to the door. It fell over and shattered. That’s when he saw something shiny. A spare key! It took him a few times, but he finally got it in the lock and could open the door.

            Luckily the stairs leading to the second floor were the first thing he saw. Even with nothing but a hall nightlight, he saw his name on the door and smiled. “I’m home,” he mumbled. He opened it and sighed with relief when he saw a dark square which could be nothing else but a big bed, waiting for him to fall on. “Thank you, rock gods.”

            Unluckily for you, even on the weekend your body’s biological clock woke you up around 8 a.m. You heard your parents making breakfast downstairs. You lay on your side and opened your eyes to see your beautiful Ukwon cutout. “’Morning, Baby.”

            Suddenly there was movement behind you and an arm snaked around your waist. “Morning, Honey.”

            What. The. Fuck.

            You immediately jumped out of bed and turned to look at who was in it.

            What. The. Fuck.

            You were dreaming. You had to be. You were dreaming.

            Ukwon recoiled from the lack of warmth now that you weren’t next to him and rolled over to his other side.

            Dreaming. You were definitely dreaming. You ran to the bathroom and let cold water run in the sink. You cupped your hands under and splashed your face. You did it a couple of times. It felt like ice, but you didn’t feel like you woke from the dream. You ran back to your room. He was still there. Kim Ukwon was in your bed.

            “Holy shit,” you breathed.  You quickly snatched your phone off your nightstand and dialed your best friend’s number. You backed away as far as possible but never took your eyes off him.

            “It is a Saturday and it’s before twelve,” you heard him grumble into the phone. “If someone hasn’t died, believe me, I’ll kill you myself.”

            “Kyung, it’s an emergency.”

            “What kind of emergency? Are you okay?” You could hear him sitting up from his end of the call.

            “I’m not sure. I don’t think I am. I think maybe I’m hallucinating.”

            “You called me because you’re hallucinating?”

            “Kyung. I swear to god, if I’m not hallucinating then you’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

            “You’re awake right now on the weekend. I already think you’re crazy.”

            “Kyung.”

            “Fine, what’s the emergency?”

            “Kim Ukwon is passed out in my bed.”

            You had to take the phone away from your ear the laughter was so loud.

            “Kyung,” you hissed. “Will you please? I am serious.”

            The laughter simmered but it was still there. “Sure, the almighty rock god is in your bed. Hey, I’ve got Chloe Moretz in mine.”

            “I’m not fucking with you Kyung. I’m freaking out! He’s here. In my bed. My parents are downstairs. What am I supposed to do?”

            “You’ve really gone off the deep end,” his laughter continued.

            “Park Kyung. Would you please just get your ass over here. Now!”

            He groaned on the other line. “Now you’re making me get up?”

            “If I am lying to you, I will give you $100.”

            “Keep talking.”

            Damn your best friend and his little shit antics. “This is not the time!”

            “You want my help or not?”

            “Fine,” you grounded out your teeth. “The money and I will grade all the papers from your T/A job for a week.”

            “2 weeks.”

            “Kyung, I will do it for a goddamn year because I’m not lying. He’s in my bed!”

            More laughter. “We’ll see about that. Be there in a few, Crazy.”

            You hung up. You weren’t as quiet as you thought because Ukwon started to stir. He rolled on his back, moaning when he stretched. He rubbed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked around then smiled at you. “Hey.”

            “Uh, hey.”

            “Are you room service? Can I order some eggs?”

            “Uh . . .” What the hell? You didn’t know what to say.

With the door behind you, you could hear one of your parents trudging up the steps.

            “Shit.” You ran to the bed, pushed a grumbling Ukwon off so he hit the floor with a thud, then turned and sat on the edge of the bed in time for your mom to open the door.

            “You drop something?”

You shook your head.

            She looked you up and down. “You alright?”

            You nodded.

            She gave you one more questionable look then sighed. “You’re father and I are going to the farmer’s market. You need anything?”

            You shook your head again.

            “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

            Another nod.

            “Did you not sleep well because of the accident outside?”

“What?”

“Yeah. A hit and run. Literally. They left the vehicle there. Your father called a garage to come pick it up.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

She stared at you for a long time.

            “If you say so. We’ll be back in a bit. Call us if you need anything.” She closed the door behind her.

            You exhaled and fell back on your bed.

            Ukwon popped up, a scowl on his face.

            “The hell kind of service is this?”

            Startled, you also jumped up.

            “What?”

            He stood up, then walked closer to you. “Service? This hotel has the worst I’ve even seen.”

            “You . . . you think you’re in a hotel?”

            He straightened. “Well, yeah.” He looked around, seeing all of your memorabilia seeing your laundry piled in your chair waiting to be folded, your book bag and books scattered on the floor.

            You watched him from the bed. He looked so confused, but also mesmerized, probably astonished as to how one person could have so much of his goods.

            “Did we meet at the concert?”

            You shook your head. “I can’t go to your concerts. They sell out too fast and the scalpers jack up the price like crazy.”

            “Huh,” he continued looking, pausing at the cutout.

            As promised, it only took Kyung a few minutes to put on pants and walk over from 2 houses down. He made himself known as he was marching up the steps. “Hey, did you see someone crashed their van into Mr. Rasch’s . . . tree. . .” He looked at Ukwon, then to you, then back to Ukwon.

            “What. The. Fuck.”

            “I told you!”

            Kyung looked at you hard. “Did you fricken kidnap him? I knew you loved the guy, but risking jail?”

            “I told you! I woke up and he was in my bed.”

            Kyung and Ukwon started at each other, then Kyung looked at you again. “Did you like make a wish at a fountain? Or meet a genie?”

            “I’m sorry,” Ukwon rubbed his head. “What’s going on?”

            “Uh,” you scratched your head. “I don’t really know.”

            “This isn’t a hotel?”

            Both you and Kyung shook your heads.

            “Where am I?”

            “You’re in my house, in the burbs of LA.”

            Ukwon sat on your bed. “LA. Right. Concerts.”

            “Any idea why the hell you’d be here of all places?” Kyung asked.

            Ukwon shook his head. “No clue. I know I was feeling sick yesterday. Had a lot of meds forced on me. Feel better now.” He looked around your room and pointed at his cutout. “I kinda remember seeing that.” He looked at your open door and pointed to the heart with his name in it. “And that.”

            All three of you looked at his stomach as it growled. “Think maybe we can figure this out over breakfast?”

            Kyung responded before you could. “You said you were having concerts this week. Doesn’t that mean they’ll be looking for you today if you perform tonight?”

            Realization washed over Ukwon’s face. “I don’t think I performed last night.” He looked at you. “You don’t know how I got here. And I don’t know how I got here. Which means my managers don’t know where I am.” He threw his arms in the air, punching at it excitedly.

            “A-are you okay?”

            “I’m free! At least for today! I don’t have to go on interviews, or dance practices, or stage rehearsals! No one knows where I am.”

            “Isn’t that a bad thing?”

            “No, ‘cause we know where I am. And I am taking the day off.” He stood up and rested his hands on your shoulders. “We can work out the details over breakfast, cutie. Where’s your bathroom?”

            You pointed toward a door in the hall.

            He smiled and your knees nearly buckled. “Thanks.” He sauntered out of your room.

            “Is this real?” You looked at Kyung.

            “Who did you pray to last night? ‘Cause Ima need to start praying to them, too.”

            “But this is crazy right? Kim Ukwon is in my house?”

            “Holy shit! The van! Did you sneak out to the concert last night and highjack his van while he was in it? We both know you have failed your driving test more than enough times. It would explain why it’s in a tree right now.”

            You glared at him. “He’s my idol! I’m not a criminal mastermind trying to kidnap him! He was in my bed when I woke up!”

            “How was that?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you.

            “I freaked out and called you.”

            He shook his head.  “Maybe this needed to happen, you poor deprived little fiend.”

            “Shut up. What are we going to do?”

            “I mean, do you really want to question it, or do you want to experience a day with your celebrity crush.” The man had a point.

            “Hey guys,” Ukwon yelled in the hall. “Can we have eggs?”

            Whelp, the fates were finally on your side for once, even if it was crazy. Who were you to deny them?