#basically tho

(trigger warning: Talks of Suicidal Ideation)

put this under the cut cause bruhhhhhhhhh

I'm planning (<33 don't quote me on this <33) on dropping an essay on the Deadmans 3 this weekend.

Cause honestly as much as I love Tamaki and want him to be happy and I know this abandonment breaks his heart,,,I have also come to realize that --- Aguilera even tho she was as close to a positive connect/relationship as he was ever gonna get in that cult

In the end was keeping him held firmly in their cult-conditioning.

so,,,,what do I mean by this?

Here's a quote from some of my research:

"The leader may randomly alternate praise and love with scorn and punishment to keep the member off-balance and confused and instill immense self-doubt. The leader may offer occasional gifts and special privileges to encourage continued submission.

The member may be pressured to publicly confess sins, after which he is viciously ridiculed by the group for being evil and unworthy. He is loved again when he acknowledges that his devotion to the cult is the only thing that will bring him salvation." (Found from article: "How Cults Work" on the 'hotstuffworks' website)

although Aguilera was only the "faux-Leader" she *did* believe she was the leader, and so did Tamaki.

We can even see cult -brainwashing techniques on display in their relationship:

(ngl I didn't even realize it until after I started researching cults, oof)

But, Aguilera comforting Tamaki when his friend died, and giving him praise, comfort and love

--- versus her physically choking Tamaki for telling Sakura about their hideout/asking her to come.

And let's not forget that before this, she backed him into a corner and had him nervously confess to what he did.

"may be pressured to publicly confess sins ."

and, after this abuse, did Tamaki leave Aguilera? Did he go back home to his family -- wherever the f*ck they are? No. He went back to Sakura, but not for himself.

He went because he wanted to help Aguilera. Most if not all of his actions can be traced back to wanting to help Aguilera in some way.

"Cults demand absolute, unquestioning devotion, loyalty and submission. A cult member's sense of self is systematically destroyed. Ultimately, feelings of worthlessness and "evil" become associated with independence and critical thinking, and feelings of warmth and love become associated with unquestioning submission.

The leader typically controls every minute of a member's waking time. There is no free time to think or analyze. Questions and doubts are systematically "turned around" so that the doubter feels wrong, worthless, "evil" for questioning. The member is loved again when he renounces those doubts and submits to the will of the leader."

"Once complete dependence is established, the member must retain the leader's good favor or else his life falls apart."

The leader may punish doubt or insubordination with physical or emotional trauma. Once all ties to the outside world have been cut, the member feels like his only family is the group, and he has nowhere else to go."

lol......this fking sucks, huh.

Now, this isn't to say Aguilera is completely 100% at fault for this, because both Aguilera and Oltecca (believe it or not) are also victims of cult indoctrination and all the stuff we see Tamaki going through, is stuff that those two have ALSO (more than likely) gone through -- its why they're so radicalized.

In fact, if Oltecca hadn't betrayed him and Aguilera + if Tamaki hadn't seen his friend be killed by another cult member, then he would've still been deep deep DEEEEP into the cult brain-washing.

And in a way, he still kinda is. His subservience, obedience, and absolute submission to Aguilera are all behaviors tied to their cult brain-washing.

I mean, when Tamaki was Julio he was more than 100% ready to 'sacrifice' himself to revive Gifu-sama. Legit, Julio was going to willingly commit suicide in order to accomplish the revival of 'Gifu-sama'. (And, why? For Aguilera.)

Anyways,,, basically what I'm saying

.....is that Tamaki was isolated, mentally and emotionally broken by the Deadmans Cult, and reformed into 'Julio' ---someone willing to hurt / kill others for the sake of the cult, and someone knowingly and willingly prepared to kill themselves for the Leader/their 'Queen.'.

He was only ever going to gradually worsen and fall back into their cult indoctrination if he stayed with Aguilera. Even once she abandoned him, Tamaki doesn't try and go 'home.'

The audience kNOWs that he at one point HAD a family, because he moved with them after his highschool ex's 'betrayal.' But the brain-washing is still so deeply rooted inside of him, that unless his parents disowned him -- or died, it would mean he is willingly not going back to his family, because he does not see himself as connected to them anymore. HIs family was the Deadmans Cult, and then it was Aguilera.

And now he has no one.