The Party You’ll Love to Hate: The Mighty Oaf
I needed a rival adventuring company for my campaign that wasn’t "evil," but was absolutely infuriating. Enter The Mighty Oaf.
Their vibe? “We get results... and bodybags.” They are a party of eight with collectively terrible judgment (average Wisdom is a 7, folks) led by a dwarf who is so charismatic you almost forget he’s leading you into a meat grinder.
The Leadership (The Disaster Trio)
Tormin Keg (The Face): A Dwarf Fighter with CHA 16 / WIS 4. He is bald, bearded, and catastrophically confident. He doesn't lie; he genuinely believes his terrible plans are genius. He was exiled from his clan for "creative interpretation of mining safety protocols."
Signature Move: Slams his enchanted, never-empty tankard down and shouts "I've spoken!"
Tirolas (The Manipulator): An Elf Bard who treats the world like a stage and hirelings like "narrative sacrifices." He’s the one who writes the ballads that make their disasters sound like heroic victories.
Ludwig Fallowfield (The Brain): The only one with common sense (WIS 14) and absolutely zero power to use it. He keeps a waterproof journal of "Lessons Learned (Ignored)." He’s the one you’ll want to rescue.
The Muscle & The Zealots
Pete the Butcher: A Half-orc who treats combat like meat processing. Practical, smells like rendered fat, and will explain the best way to cut a troll while he’s killing it.
Brother Gordon Fullbright: A Priest of Zeus with WIS 5. He performs mental gymnastics to prove that sending hirelings into trap-filled rooms is actually "holy martyrdom."
Hendricks the Bloody-Handed: A Priest of Ares who is actually very honest about his love for war. He views deaths as offerings. Simple. Honest. Terrifying.
The Wildcards
Sully (The Addict): A human Thief and former navy sailor with WIS 5 and CHA 6 who says “Watch this” right before doing something that should definitely kill him. He’s the group’s "trap finder" (mostly by walking into them).
Shine the Bold: A Wizard with INT 10 / WIS 4. He named himself "The Bold" and yells spell names like "SHINE’S SPECTRAL SPHERE OF SEARING SUPERIORITY" just to cast a single Magic Missile.
Why they’re the perfect rivals:
The Hireling Problem: They don’t murder people; they just have "high mortality rates" due to incompetence. It makes for incredible moral dilemmas when your PCs find an Oaf hireling abandoned in a dungeon.
The Success: Somehow, they still have more gold than the PCs. They spend it all at the Brazen Strumpet and brag about "prior discovery" on dungeons the PCs actually cleared.
The Damage: They aren't trying to destroy the world; they're just making all adventurers look like reckless idiots.
Feel free to drop these absolute disasters into your own campaign if your players need a group to bicker with at the local tavern!
