#barn polycule

OK SO THE THING ABT BARN POLYCULE AND MUTUAL PINING RIGHT IS THAT LIKE. its just like. they're all living in the barn together and as they get more and more used to and comfortable with one another and Lapis and Dino stop being as high-strung and they develop have these clear and obvious crushes on eachother but theyre all just. scared to take that next step and actually ask about it or try and bring it up in any way, (Lapis being scared of herself and the possibility about hurting either of them, and alongside that already heavily repressing a lot of her emotions through masking. She wants 2 have that kind of relationship with her Barnmates so bad but is scared about what it means and what could happen and feels like she doesn't trust herself/doesn't think she deserves anything like that. Peridot is already like. So concerned about making Lapis and Dino happy and not wanting to contribute to what they've gone through and as such will hide certain things or not be fully honest [I.E: "Well, there are many things I should say, but they would upset you, so in general, I don't say those things...?"] and as such I think that leads to her hiding how she feels about the other two and how important they are to her. She's scared of how they'll react and the possibility of it freaking them out or whatever. 4 Dino it's just like. She's so scared about losing this companionship and love and the feeling of actually being safe for the first time if she confesses. She doesn't think she deserves the other two [a sentiment that the three of them feel in different ways, they all have a lot of self-loathing, I just feel like Dino feels it the strongest with how the beginning of her life was.] and she feels like she doesn't deserve to think the things she does about her Barnmates. All three of them are just kinda like, dealing with identity issues and never having experienced anything like this before and it's compounding on top of their mental illnesses) but they just. keep pining and as they all get closer in the barn it becomes more and more of a very obvious crush ( i think it's cute 2 imagine it's super obvious for the other gems but since all three of them are so new to it/can't fathom that they'd be liked back like that they just do not realize. Steven would of course be estatic about the idea of three of his friends all liking eachother he loves pairing his friends up he'd be thrilled. Literally the realest motherfucker on the planet.) and they just. Will have these moments with one another where they indulge in what they want with one another and then be like "I'm not going to talk about this any further because I don't want to make things weird or uncomfortable." and they just!!! keep fucking doing it!!!!!!!!!! they're essentially dating but none of them want to make it official and say it/don't really know HOW to say it since even being close with other people is new for all of them and this even more so. I think them being split up during S5 makes it finally click how much they need eachother though considering that all three of them just CRASH when seperated. (Even if Lapis and Dino are still together they're still miserable without Peridot). I think by the time CYM beyond rolls around they're official together though... Not perfect, they have a lot of things to work on and aren't ever going to be any sort of like. Model Polycule or any kind of normal but they're so so happy to finally have this with one another that none of them really care abt that. Aww

I think abt barn poly gentle intimacy and i start rattling around the bars of my cage like a rabid animal of some sort. things that will crawl into eachother’s laps to kiss