#barbverse

The Personal Touch By Barb C (@rahirah) Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Spike Rating: Teen Summary: It wasn't the big dramatic confrontations that threw her for a loop, oh no. Buffy was prepared for those, and so was he. It was the little things that caught them both off-guard. Notes: Barbverse. This story takes place in the same universe as A Raising In the Sun, Necessary Evils, and A Parliament of Monsters.It's set during the summer between Necessary Evils and POM. Written for the Seasonal Spuffy Summer Solstice Free-For-All day. This story is not exactly fluff, but then, it's not exactly not fluff, either.

For reference: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478957

Ok, this one is too long to do a blow-by-blow in a Tumblr post, so I'm gonna talk about it more generally.

For those of you who haven't read the series this story is a part of, it's a long-running AU which branches off of canon after "The Gift."  I started writing the first story in it immediately after "The Gift" aired, so Spuffy wasn't even a canon thing yet.  At the time, I was pretty certain that Spuffy would never be a canon thing; at most, I thought, there would be a lot of pining and UST, and maybe, in the very last season, Spike would get the crumb he was hoping for.

But I didn't care about that; something doesn't have to be canon for me to ship the hell out of it.  And I was fascinated by the concept of an evil demon trying to be good.  What would it look like, I wondered, if Spike and Buffy did get together in a working, functional relationship?  What changes and compromises would both of them have to make?  How would it meet both their needs?  What would the pain points be?  Of course, the easiest way to do it would be to slap a soul into Spike, but I felt that the show had already thoroughly explored that avenue with Angel, and I wanted to do something different.  Plus I have never been one to do things the easy way, and one of the recurring themes in my writing in general is free will and choices.  So I set myself the challenge of writing a story about how Buffy and Spike forge a relationship that works for both of them, and doesn't cheat on characterization – that is, Spike, having no human soul, is still "evil" in Buffyverse terms, and his motivations and behavior reflect that; even when he is doing good things, he is not doing them in the same way, or for the same reasons, as a human would. *

ANYWAY.  In this AU, Warren Mears and Co. still killed Katrina, but Warren went to jail for it.  However, when his inventions came to the attention of Wolfram & Hart, they got him released on a technicality, and brought him into their R&D department.  Warren took the opportunity to get his revenge on Buffy and Spike by zapping Buffy into a W&H pocket dimension, where W&H was collecting Buffys from many dimensions for nefarious purposes.  Unbeknownst to Warren, Buffy has just discovered that she's pregnant.  

This scenario generated four stories: "The Lesser of Two Evils," which details what happens when Willow and Spike confront Warren and try to force him to bring Buffy back; "In A Yellow Wood," which is about Buffy's adventures in the pocket dimension, "If the Grave Be Now Thy Bed," which deals with the fallout of the first two stories, and "To Grandmother's House," which wraps up the arc with Buffy's final decision about the fate of her baby.

I wrote these stories all out of order: "To Grandmother's House" first, "The Lesser of Two Evils" second, "In A Yellow Wood" third, and "If the Grave Be Now Thy Bed" last.  I knew the general course of the arc all along, but writing it inside out and backwards, over ten years or more, posed some interesting challenges.  "If the Grave Be Now Thy Bed" was not part of the original arc plan – in fact, it grew out of feedback I got for "The Lesser of Two Evils."

TLOTE/IAYW are deliberately morally ambiguous stories.  Spike, Willow, and Buffy all do questionable things – perhaps flat out wrong things – under severe emotional stress, and the consequences of those actions echo for a long time through the years to come.  While I hope that readers find their motives understandable, and even sympathetic, I didn't necessarily expect that every reader would agree with or approve of their actions.  Most people who've sent me feedback seem to enjoy the ambiguity, or at least find it intriguing.  Not all of them, however.  

One particular reader had...issues.  Over the course of several conversations, I found out that while they were a Spuffy shipper, they had very particular requirements for the kind of Spuffy stories they liked.  They had to be either A) totally canon-compliant, angst-ridden stories where Buffy hated herself for giving in to Spike's sinister attraction, or B) stories where Spike was a Romance Novel Bad Boy With a Heart of Gold, and there was a tacit agreement between writer and reader that hey, we both know this is totally OOC for both characters, but we're just here for the porn, amirite nudge-nudge wink-wink.

Reader In Question had started in on my work with the assumption that it fell into the latter category, but the more they read, the less comfortable they got, because, as I mentioned above, I was in this for serious.  I sweat blood over characterization.  And I was starting to convince them that maybe a relationship between Buffy and soulless Spike COULD work.  And they didn't WANT to believe that.  So they absolutely had to interpret my work as a dystopian take on Buffy's slide into total moral decay, with this particular arc as the nadir of her fall.**  They left me some despondent feedback on TLOTE, wondering what Warren's dear mother would think of this turn of events.  I'm not sure if they intended to shame me (or Buffy) for our evil ways, but I thought it was an interesting point.  And it planted the seed of an idea.

Over the next several years, as I worked on IAYW (and let me say right here, the less-than-enthusiastic feedback Reader In Question sent me on TLOTE made me work my ass off on IAYW.  Though I obviously don't agree with their overall interpretation, I thought they had some good points, and I wanted to be sure that IAYW addressed those points) I mulled over the thought: What WOULD happen if Warren's dear old mother confronted Buffy and Spike?  

A lot would depend upon what Warren's dear old mother was like.  There were two obvious ways I could go with that: she could be an innocent victim, or she could be as much of a monster as Warren was.  But I didn't want to do anything obvious with this story.   Fic-wise, I always like to take the road less traveled if I can, but in this case, I have to admit that I got a perverse pleasure out of taking Reader In Question's finger-wagging admonition and using it as inspiration for a story that's, well, not exactly what I imagine they were hoping to inspire.  I decided that I was going to make Mrs. Mears a little of both.

The next question was, what did I want to have happen when she shows up?Again, the obvious thing would be to have Buffy feel guilty.  But I had already dealt extensively with Buffy's feelings, and her reasons for making the decisions she made, in IAYW and TGH.  Yes, she feels guilty; she's not sure she did the right thing.  She's not even sure there was a right thing to do.  But that particular subplot plays out over the long term in this AU, culminating many years later in a completely different story arc, and I couldn't bring it to a premature resolution here.  Besides, I knew that Barbverse Buffy would never return to the uncompromising system of morality that Reader In Question wanted her to,*** so there was no point in writing a story where she Learns Her Lesson, Dusts Spike, and Is Very Sorry. ****

So I decided that this story would focus on Spike, and his reaction to Warren's mother and her loss of a son.  And that opened up a lot of possibilities.  I was to some extent constrained by the fact that I'd already written quite a lot of stories taking place after this one in the timeline, so there were certain things I couldn't do.  But I've always found that if you ask yourself, "What would X logically do in this situation?" and follow that through, you can avoid Idiot Plot Syndrome.   Let your characters be smart.   What would Spike do, confronted with the mother of the man he'd killed?  What would Mrs. Mears demand of him in recompense?  

What I wanted to do in this story was to answer those questions in a way that people wouldn't expect.  I was able to bring Spike's ambivalent feelings about his own mother into play, and provide a way for him to get some character development around coming to terms with her death and his part in it that I might not otherwise have been able to do.  And I was able to draw parallels between Warren and his mother, and Spike and Anne Pratt, and come up with some really intriguing takes on how and why Spike can do the right(ish) thing even when his reasons are kinda-sorta wrong(ish).  It gives some background, hopefully, on  how Buffy can make the ultimate decision she does in "To Grandmother's House," and not feel that she's tobogganing head-first down the slippery slope of Utter Moral Decay.  And I got to write Zombie Warren, who was gruesomely, deliciously horrible.  And I got to give Mrs. Mears the last word.

By the time I finished the story, Reader In Question had long since left fandom, and they probably wouldn't have read it even if they were still around.  But I feel I have to thank them for it anyway.  And that's why I always say that even though I don't necessarily like getting critical feedback, it can be the most useful feedback you can get if you look at it in the right way.

__________

* I could write a whole nother essay about the challenges of writing an evil-trying-to-be-good vampire, but that is beyond the scope of the current post.

** Eventually, they practically begged me to tell them that I was deliberately writing Buffy and Spike out of character, and that I didn't really think a relationship between them could work.  Alas, I could not oblige them, and they stopped reading my stuff.

*** I don't even believe canon Buffy stuck to that kind of rigid moral code – she tried to, but one of the things that makes her a complex, fully realized character is that canon Buffy is perfectly capable of double standards and hypocrisy where her friends are concerned, not to mention just plain changing her mind about things over the course of the show.  For every decision I have Barbverse Buffy [or Spike, for that matter] make, I can point to something in canon and say "This is why I think she could do that."

****Although... I do have an alternate ending to "To Grandmother's House" plotted out in my head, where Buffy [either accidentally or on purpose – just as in the main story, it's ambiguous] doesn't stop Giles in time.  I consider the Barbverse to be a low-probability AU, and I watch out for times and ways in which things could go spectacularly wrong, just so I can be sure to avoid them in a believable manner.  Or write stories about them going wrong, and the characters dealing with them.

And Fear Finds Nothing Left to Mend, Part I By Barb C. (@rahirah) Rating: T Setting: Post-Gift AU (Barbverse) Pairing: Buffy/Spike Synopsis: Knowing that the Slayer has hard decisions to make is one thing.  Being the subject of one is quite another. Author’s notes: This story takes place in the same universe as "Raising In the Sun," "Necessary Evils," and "A Parliament of Monsters."  It immediately precedes "To Lie Down With Wolves" and "Every Silver Lining Has A Touch of Gray," and it's pretty damn angsty, folks.  I'll be posting the rest of it on my journal as I write it. 

"Yeah." The vampire scowled. "Got a problem with that?"

"Yes! It's creepy! Stop it!"