#barbie rant

I tell myself as if this wasn’t the biggest downgrade in history

There actually is (or was) a wheelchair using Barbie. There is not a fat Barbie. But you don't see wheelchair Barbie after the opening scenes. Also there should be a fat Barbie!

The movie is called Barbie. Why why why does so much of the plot revolve around KEN'S existential crisis? No one cares, he's an accessory. I remember my Ken Doll less clearly than I remember my Barbie's Oscar de la Renta ballgown. That's not a crisis for men, it's how the doll was designed.

If the Barbies are meant to be affected by how kids play with them, why isn't there more sex and nudity? (I know why) (but also my sister's and my Barbies were strippers)

Why are there SO MANY KENS like one for each Barbie, that is totally unrealistic.

Skipper has flat feet. Nobody cares about Skipper so it's right that she hardly appears but when Barbie's feet go flat there's no reason for the other dolls to throw up. They've seen flat feet before, come on.

Weird Barbie is not weird because you "played too hard" with her, she's weird because your sibling drew on her face, the dog got to her, or you cut off her hair cuz you didn't have a Ken like my neighbor Emily.

Like it was sort of alluded to at the end when Ken said he thought that patriarchy was just abt horses and when realizing it wasn't, he wasn't interested in patriarchy anymore (but then why continue to uphold it?). There could have been a moment to show that the heteronormative roles both Barbie and Ken have been placed in is a disservice and impediment to everyone involved. Again it sort of alludes to this with Ken's breakdown saying "it's Barbie and Ken". The big message then being "maybe it's barbie AND IT'S Ken" and all the Kens going Ken is me or whatever,, was kind of getting to a good message but sort of stopped halfway?? And then the joke the narrator makes saying the Kens will have the same amount of power that women have in the real world (implying they will never be equal) is again sort of frustrating? I think the focus should still be on the Barbies bc this is the Barbie movie after all. And as someone raised as a woman it is cathartic to see a world where the roles are reversed and maybe ending with a ken-centric idea isn't what's needed... but still.

Reducing the patriarchy from a very real, dangerous and systematically planned institution to just haha stupid guys get in power just cause :) and woman brainwash suddenly :) haha... just doesn't.. idk, I know why they did it, it was campy, and it also shows how truly stupid the patriarchy is, and how men get in power easily, BUT there could have been more nuance there. As the patriarchy can be harmful to men too at the end of the day and that's the system that needs to be brought down, reducing the message to "men stupid" takes away from the very real smart and conniving men who uphold and profit from the system, AND it takes away from men who are oppressed by the patriarchy and the issues faced due to this...

I still can't get over this. Mattel is actually releasing an EARLESS, Molded on Oompa Loompa Hair Barbie, wearing a swimsuit AND Heels (and I think I see a fanny pack too). This is a literal bottom of the barrel we're out of ideas, creativity, & money type of doll. I've seen bootleg dolls that look better. Like I don’t often say this but I Hope someone got fried for this. This is Genuinely a bad Product. 

I looked it up so you don’t have to and it is….so much worse than expectations

Do these moms know they aren’t the focus? Like Barbie is spotlighting individuals with these disabilities, not the parent or caretaker.

This one especially makes me absolutely disgusted and insulted simultaneously because Barbie and Ken reflect young adults. Late teens at youngest and they have chosen to depict him covered in food (even on his shoes), holding McDonald’s and a broken screen iPad

And yet the Chelsea sized equivalent is clean, not covered in food and whatever else, and doesn’t have a broken screen

And I don’t know what these mom’s obsession with treating autistic adults like slobs is because they “improved” the original Barbie herself and called it reality. Also the fact they replaced a device used for communication with a broken iPad…again. Because clearly every autistic adult has a broken iPad screen.

And last but not least is these moms thinking they are the main character again