So my idea for a Barbra!MC which is full of angst(at least I think it is).
Ok so first off we need a backstory.
Well to say they were a famous idol would be understating it.
Every move was watched and captured.
Every action was catalogued and videoed.
EVERYTHING was picked apart and analyzed.
She was not a person in anyone's' eyes, she was just someone to pick apart, to love one moment but hate the next.an object for their gaze.
She couldn't say no despite how much she wanted to.
MC's fans were rabid beasts, demanding more and more of her, being violent protectors. They were often swearing up and down that she was the best singer and anyone who thought otherwise had something fundamentally WRONG about/in them (so like a way more drastic violent version of 'Swifties' [no hate to them or anything but some of them can be RABID]).
MC had started out on the internet, just singing songs she made up, but then it evolved and suddenly she was in the spotlight.
She hated it, missed her old job which she had to leave to prevent rabid fans from invading her work place.
Then one day, she finally had enough.
When a pushy and drunk fan, who was still holding a whine bottle, stumbled to her, asking to 'talk' to her in private, she refused.
She was polite about it though, of course she was, she was always kind and polite.
The drunk fan didn't take that well and broke the whine bottle over her head, but they weren't done.
The fan took advantage of her downed state and started to/tried to/did grape her (Yea I refuse to use those terms because they are DISGUSTING [If anyone has gone through this I'm so sorry]). Luckily she kicked them off before they could really do anything (much at least), but the fan once again did something drastic, using the broken whine bottle as a weapon they… they stabbed her, in the throat, multiple times.
She died like that, assaulted, bleeding out, choking on her own blood, tears streaming down her face.
And then she woke up, but she also didn't.
You see, Barbra!MC has always felt as if something was missing, that something was wrong.
Some days her throat hurt really badly and she couldn't fathom why.
Drunk people made her nervous though she knew they would never hurt her because her big sister, the knights, and the other sisters would protect her.
She despised whine/alcohol, well, she despised drinking it and watch others get intoxicated beyond belief. That actually let her get along with Diona really well, the little girl even hissing like a feral cat whenever a drunken fool approached Barbra!MC while Diona was around.
The cats at the Cat's Tail simply adored her along with all the children. When Venti comes along, for some reason she feels like there is more to him than meets the eye. But she shrugs off her feelings and continues on.
When the Traveler and Paimon appear she helps them with Dvalin's problem, including when they go to confront Dvalin. She heals them all, Dvalin, Venti (who she now knew was Barbatos and was kinda panicking because her God was right there but she also needed to focus on healing everyone), Traveler, Paimon, Diluc, and Jean.
Diluc and Jean had been VERY reluctant to let her join them but Barbra!MC was insistent and they finally relented. She was part of the reason why Dvalin was healed and purified as well as he was.
She meets Dainsleif, a strange man who feels familiar but at the same time not (she ignores the feelings as always), and even heals him, singing softly. She sung a song she always sang, not knowing the lyrics and only the melody, a song that resounded in her dreams, while healing him. Dainsleif's eyes widened (he knew that song, it was a lullaby from Khaenri'ah…) and as if by instinct, sung the lyrics to the melody. Barbra!MC's eyebrows raised slightly but she kept healing him (unknown to her, she was healing his rot) and singing/humming the melody.
When the traveler came back a week or two later and met Dainsleif. She journeyed with them to find the Abyss Herald, much to all three's (Paimon, Traveler, Dainsleif) panic and reluctance but she insisted, even following them. She healed them and then later she goes to Liyue with the Traveler and Paimon.
It took a while to convince the church but she said that because it was Liyue, there likely weren't to be any of her fan club members. That tidbit made the church finally agree.
So all three went and then they got to a strange area. It was filled with abyssal energy, one of Barbatos' statues were upside down, holding abyss energy instead of the orb like they regularly did. She sees the dead thief and feels sick but she helps the Traveler escape (it was as if she remembered this place but she had never been here before so she shook the feeling off).
Months go by and eventually the traveler had reached Natlan. Barbra!MC was doing good and even if her fans overwhelmed her sometimes, she kept a smile on her face, and never said no (for some reason dread fills her, fear grips her heart, and her body [her wrists, chest, waist] and throat throb when she thinks of saying no).
Then… an attack happens, the traveler still busy in Natlan, the attack too sudden to prepare for.
The two forces weren't even fighting with each other, if anything, they were fighting each other and Mondstat happened to be the poor battlefield that was chosen.
Apparently the two forces had conflicted with each other long enough, getting in each others' business and having skirmishes. So there was a battle.
Monstat was fighting back, the other nations were even sending help!
Barbara!MC was running through the battlefield, she was a Frontline healer after all. She could sorta fight but she was more skilled at evasion and running. She healed all the allies she could as she ran through the battlefields.
She didn't know how long she had been running for, how long this never ending battle has been going on.
She doesn't know anymore and she doesn't care.
Then Barbra!MC saw something that made her heart seize in her chest.
SHE WAS GOING TO BE HURT!!
So Barbra!MC ran, as fast as her legs could carry, her hydro vision attacking any enemies who got to close and healing any allies.
Her vision had always seemed to have a mind of it's own, reacting even when she wasn't doing anything. So she came to the conclusion that it DID have a mind of it's own, it WAS sentient, even if a little bit.
Jean was bleeding, a hand pressed to her abdomen, on her knees in a kneeling position, her sword being used as a crutch.
Barbra!MC's heart seized as she saw an enemy approaching her, both a Fatui and Abyss member. The two seemed to be working together to bring down Mondstat, kind of.
She was in front of Jean, not daring to look at her sister's face (because she was scared of seeing her sister looking at her with annoyance, or rage, or disappointment because Barbra!MC knows she's annoying, that she deserves anger, that she's a disappointment because people were still dying on her watch [self worth issues are coming in strong]), her arms spread wide, shielding her sister and then…
She was in front of Jean, her back to her sister, and she couldn't see the horror on Jean's face as she saw her beloved little sister being impaled with both weapon and magic.
Barbra!MC didn't see how blood from her impalement wounds splattered onto Jean's face.
She felt unimaginable pain, poison and abyssal magic flowing through her veins, killing her. Blood leaked from her lips and then the weapon(s) were torn out, holes in her torso, even more blood spraying out.
It hurt, Archons it hurt, but…
She would sacrifice ANYTHING for Mondstat, for JEAN.
She collapsed, crumpling to the ground, and she felt hands pull her into someone's lap.
Something warm and wet was leaking from her mouth, it looked red from what Barbra!MC could see with her failing vision, black spots dancing across her vision, and everything seemed so far away.
She felt the gentle whispers of wind on her skin, a soft whisper telling her to fight, to keep going, to stay awake.
It was Barbatos, trying to nudge his child to awareness, trying to get her to keep fighting.
It was only a nudge, just a whisper, because he was still the god of freedom.
But she heard the force of a hurricane, wind swallowing screams, and enemies being slammed into buildings.
Even if he was the god of freedom, Barbra!MC was still one of his children, still one of those he considered his. She was a loyal devotee who knew his identity as Venti but she didn't tell anyone, and didn't make a scene. She separated Venti and Barbatos, something he was grateful for.
But now she was laying in Jean's lap, bleeding, DYING.
Venti- no, he was BARBATOS, got truly close to so few people, unwilling to see them die and leave him. Barbra!MC was one of the few people he got truly close to, that he let into his heart.
He felt more and more deaths of his citizens, his children!
He heard more cries and screams.
He felt more enemies enter his city.
Barbra!MC watched through cloudy and distant eyes as hurricanes and tornadoes whipped through, only harming and grabbing the enemies.
She felt something wet fall onto her face.
She raised a hand and cupped her sisters face, smiling softly, telling Jean that she was happy, that if she must die she was glad it was to protect her. Barbra!MC told her sister that she cared for her, loved her, hoped she continued living, if not for herself then for Barbra!MC. She told her sister to find love, to find someone else to gift her heart to, to move on and be happy.
Jean could only watch helplessly as her little sister, her HEART, her MORALS, her reason for BEING, the only person keeping her SANE, slowly faded away. Barbra!MC's vision was erratic, trying to heal it's master, lashing out at any enemies who dared to get close.
Jean saw Venti, no, he was Barbatos right now, rush over, rage and fear in his eyes. He knelt before Barbra!MC, his hands shaking, tears of rage and fear in his eyes. His hands trembled as they hovered over her chest, trying desperately to work with her vision and heal her.
Barbra!MC turned to Venti and smiled, telling him to be happy, to find someone he can care for without fear, to move on.
Then her hand slipped from Jean's face and her had lolled, eyes glazed over but soft, a smile on her lips.
Barbatos screamed in rage, Jean choking on a sob. The winds howled and roared, and then Dvalin appeared, roaring in rage. Barbra!MC had healed him, had visited him whenever he visited the ruins, had been his friend, and now she was dead.
Dvalin and Barbatos used the winds, sweeping destruction across the enemies.
Jean gently set down her sister and stood on shaky feet, pure rage and anguish in her eyes. She cut down her enemies with a ferocity that she did not process before. These THINGS were the ones who cut down her little sister, they will be PUNISHED.
Diluc and Kaeya appeared, confusion and worry in their eyes. But when they saw a dead Barbra!MC's body… they understood.
Barbra!MC was the HEART of Monstat, the one the winds curled around gently, the ones the citizens went to when scared or in need of healing, the one the knights trusted immensely, the one the children listened to and surrounded when they wanted to hear her stories or songs, the one who gave a community.
When Barbra!MC was a child, the community was lacking, people only knew one or two others and didn't trust anyone else. She saw this and changed it, took Mondstat by it's hands and guided them to a soft and kind future, one where everyone knew everyone, one where you knew everyone's hopes and dreams and little quirks.
She took Mondstat's heart because she WAS Mondstats heart.
But now she was dead and winds were cold.
Diluc was silent as he slaughtered enemies, Kaeya no longer making jokes and wa instead cold and piercing, both brothers working together like water, as if they had their entire lives.
Barbatos shot down enemies with a quiet tensity that made the air freeze, Dvalin whipped up storms and used his tail and claws and fangs to tears the enemies apart. The two worked together as one hole, making sure neither was poisoned and corrupted like before.
Jean cut down enemies, not with her usual grace or want to end it quickly, but with a ferocity that bordered on madness, a want to end those who made her little sister suffer, the ones who KILLED BARBRA!MC!!
Barbra!MC's vision was erratic and kept trying desperately to heal her wounds but she was dead. The Hydro vision seemed to stutter out and finally faded into that gray color all visions had when the wielders were dead.
Mondstat's heart was gone and the news spread quickly through the traveling winds.
Mondstat's citizens raised weapons and fought, it's soldiers/knights raised their blades with new vigor and killed, it's children cursed and wished death, it's god tore the air from lungs, it's dragon caused hurricanes, and Mondstat itself FOUGHT BACK.
The enemies got what they wanted, damage to each other and Mondstat.
They killed Mondstat's heart.
Mondstat had it's revenge.
But no revenge would ever heal the gaping hole that used to house Barbra!MC.
Finally all the enemies were either dead or fleeing.
Barbatos turned to Barbra!MC and froze, her soul… it was GONE.
Barbatos receded and Venti came forward once more.
Venti hurried to Barbra!MC, his ears turned to the wind, Dvalin descending upon the city's walls and perched there, letting out a low and long crooning wail.
Jean was on her knees, her hands desperately holding Barbra!MC's hand, the one that cupped her face. Kaeya and Diluc approached together, blood splattering their clothes, and knelt besides Jean, their eyes locked only onto the heart who had brought everyone together.
Venti was on Barbra!MC's other side, his eyes wide with shock and fear.
Her soul was supposed to be guided by the wind but it wasn't! It wasn't here! It hadn't been guided in the chaos! The wind whispered in his mind, telling him of the way the soul had been taken, snatched up.
Venti crumbled when Jean asked with a wobbly voice if she could see her sister's spirit, when Diluc quietly rested a hand over one of the gaping holes in Barbra!MC's torso, when Kaeya's gaze was stuck on Barbra!MC's smile. Venti crumbled and cried out 'I don't know! Her soul isn't here and her vision is empty! The wind didn't guide her!'
Dvalin let out a mourning wail, mourning for the heart, morning for the girl who had brought everyone together, mourning for the one who visited him.
Slowly, citizens, children, knights/soldiers, everyone… they all came towards where Barbra!MC's body lay, and she would've looked as if she was sleeping had it not been for the blood on her and the holes in her torso. Mondstat surrounded the body and wept, tears falling to the ground, the wind still and quiet and oh so cold.
Mondstat had lost one life that day.
Barbra!MC healing everyone, making sure no one was lost, even as arrows hit her skin which she ripped out and only healed to the bare minimum so she could keep moving. She still smiled and soothed even as swords scratched her skin.
Until she no longer could.
One life was lost that day, the heart, the spirit; the one who enveloped Mondstat and let all open their hearts without fear, the one who gave and never took; the one who cherished all and was cherished in turn, the one who gave everything to Mondstat, even her life.
Somewhere else, far, far away, a soul was sent.
Through the depths of time, through the land.
A portal it went through, runes floating in the air, the four Shades watching over and giving their own blessings.
Through four pairs of soft hands it was cradled, whispered blessing wrapping around it, four pairs of eyes gazing at it with love.
Memories unsealed and opened, life made anew, a soul loved and cherished so deeply should not end here.
Through the streams of time it shall travel.
Through the world, both here and beyond it traveled.
And eventually it arrived in Nod Krai, cradled in soft hands, four pairs of eyes staring as the soft hands cupped it.
A pair of soft hands passed the soul to another before opening a portal, one through time, plucking one body from the rest. The body was being cradled gentle, the one inhabiting it still alive, barely. The body cradled by a man with long black hair and stary blue eyes, begging his little star to stay alive, praying for the first time ever to let his daughter live, to let him hear her whisper papa once more, to hear his friends (five had stormed the castle for a sixth inside, and Pierro trying to find the girl he considered a granddaughter, the one he currently cradled in his arms, Tholindis stuck with a moon gate starting to open near her) tease "Your wrapped around her finger Thrain!". The sky was red and the ground ripped open, that was the sight that greeted the sage when taking the body from a previous time, ripping it out of the father's arms. The soul couldn't make it during the travel and the previous inhabitant passed on before they reached the other end of the portal through time.
The body was set down gently, softly.
With soft hands it was laid on a body of a one too young, too small, too soft, the soul having departed.
And two golden eyes opened.
Her hands flew to her torso, at where the holes had been, and then they went to her throat, the phantom presence of pain on it made her shudder.
Ok, she was in Genshin, but who was she. She definitely traveled through time of the Genshin world, the shades having taken her (and wasn't that weird, the fact the shades so deeply loved her) to Nod Krai and put in this knew body.
She had no doubts that if her soul hadn't accepted the body then a new one would've been found and this one disposed of. She knew that if her soul did accept it but the previous soul was still in it then the shades would simply dispose of the soul.
But luckily that was unneeded.
She was going to be sick.
She puked in a bush nearby, tears blurring her vision.
The memories of both deaths made her shudder and wrap her arms around herself. Her ribs were too prominent, her skin too soft, pain too fresh, and a body too small.
Jean! Was she ok? Was she alive?
She traveled through time so Mondstat was still standing and… Barbra!MC was still alive.
She sighed and ran a hand through her matted hair, she couldn't go to Mondstat, didn't want to go to the other nations, and besides, how would she even get there.
She felt something against her chest and looked down, it was a necklace, one with a unique charm, a sword wrapped in vines and flowers. The sight brought memories of soft hands, starry blue eyes, and a soothing voice.
It seems she was not without memories of the precious inhabitant. She felt even more guilty now but shook her head. The previous owner of the body was dead, she had no need to feel guilty.
She spent weeks in the forests, stealing food and money, not much, just little things. A mora or two here and there, a few carrots, a little apple. Not much, so little it made her stomach growl at night. She was collecting Mora to hopefully stop stealing and actually buy something, like clothes.
Her own were threadbare, barely hanging on.
She needed clothes if she wanted to survive this upcoming winter.
The village she stole from was small, another reason why she didn't take much. but eventually she noticed things.
She noticed how a little more mora was dropped, a little more food was left out.
She was weary, and nervous, but she still took.
How selfish she was, stealing and stealing what others needed.
But is this not repayment for only giving in her past two lives?
She shook off the thoughts and focused more on the little bag of money left behind at a restaurant table.
They might come back for it…
But she was also really hungry and the cold was nipping at her skin.
She slunk back in the shadows and left, not noticing how everyone at the outside restaurant sighed. The one who left the money bag came back and saw it not taken and rubbed their temples.
The villagers had noticed a few little things going missing. Nothing much, nothing to be worried about.
But they also noticed the tiny figure in the forest, the one too small and dirty, the one too thin and frail.
They watched the toddler carefully take a few mora, only 3-5 every three days, and an apple or carrot every 4. They watched the little one shiver in the cold, watched them nibble their food carefully.
They saw no one searching for a child, no news of any missing one.
Not verbally, but they knew what the others of the village were doing too.
A few more pieces of bread and food where left out, more scraps of food being left on plates, more mora being dropped.
They thought the little one would come in and huddle in or near a house at the edges of the village a few days ago, when the wind swept in, bringing with it storms and snow. But the child did not and the village was hard pressed to search the forests.
But the next day the child was back, worse for wear but still going.
So one of the villagers tested, they left a money bag, small, filled with only 20 mora, but they tested.
They saw the child's eyes flash with debate, and they all held their breath, acting natural, making sure not to look at the child directly. But then the child turned and left, hunger and guilt in their eyes.
It seems they would have to do more.
So they waited, and left a few more things out, more often, little larger portions. the child took and stole and the village gave happily.
Eventually the little one slunk into a store, a clothing store, and took only one shirt and one pair of shorts, leaving all the much they had collected for it. It was over the price, as if an apology for stealing it.
The villagers had quietly celebrated that night, happy the child would have better clothes.
Then one day, one of the adults came upon an amazing scene.
The little one was playing with the children of the village who were all older and bigger, healthier too. One of the girls had brought out a brush with determination and brushed the toddler's hair, being careful, and starting from the bottom, just like her mama had taught. The little one's hair was dirty and took a while before it got to some semblance of smooth.
Then the child was pulled into games, laughing and giggling with a soft, barely audible voice. The child was given food for lunch by the children, who even if young, are perceptive.
The child was given a scarf and gloves.
The little one was asked their name and with a soft voice they said 'I don't have one'
That caused the children to frown, and the little boy braiding her hair said that they would simply have GIVE her a name.
She cursed in her mind. She had lived long enough to know that there never really are coincidences.
Over the next few days she was found time and time again in the village by the children, always being pulled into games, always being bullied into accept gifts. And eventually… the adults decide to keep her.
They sorta just nab her before she leaves the village and declare she's staying here from now on.
That is how Jahoda!MC was adopted by the entire village.
Her hair was brushed, her hair washed, her body washed, her belly full (though it only took a singular small apple and half a sandwich much to everyone's dismay), and an actual bed with actual sheets.
It was quickly discovered that she was only two, and had been abandoned for months already. It was also clear she didn't remember anything beyond her time in the forest which made sense due to her age. She was terribly skinny, and her ribs were quite prominent. She looked as if a simple breeze would knock her over and break her bones.
She doesn't have parents, just a lot of siblings, aunts, and uncles. No cousins though because the entire village has essentially adopted her as their child.
Her unique eyes confirmed her dread.
Jahoda!MC had been holding a fragile hope that it was just a coincidence, but she knew it wasn't, and now it was confirmed.
Wait, now that she thought about it, the only people who have star eyes were Khaenrians. Could Jahoda/Jahoda!MC be a descendant and the gene of starry eyes mutated(oh if only she knew the truth, if only she knew her family, cursed with immortality, was looking for her, if only they hadn't seen something akin to a moon gate rip open underneath her, giving them hope and rage and desperation)? Thoughts for another day.
(This is actually my own question and stuff so I made Jahoda!MC think about it. In this au… why not, let's just have her as a Khaenrian. One whose body was taken from the Cataclysm/Destruction of Khaenri'ah by the shades and put in 'present time'. Her body's previous inhabitant was the child/family member of certain Khaenrians…)
She was only 5 when she remembered that Jahoda in canon had an Anemo vision. How would that even work!
She missed her Hydro vision, the sentient little thing that cherished her deeply. But she knew Barbra!MC still existed at this point in time so she didn't voice anything.
It was a week after she remembered what vision canon Jahoda got when she saw it. She was running through the forest, her feral and wild side never quite leaving her and the village had no desire to snuff out something that was a part of her, they merely asked that she come back safely.
It's like that quote "…You can take the man out of the woods, but you can't take the woods out of the man." - Gary Paulsen, Brian's Return. Just attribute it to Jahoda!MC.
She came across something that made her blood BOIL.
Treasure hoarders, laughing, children imprisoned in a cage. One of the kids caught her eye, ash-beige hair, looked about 6, silver eyes with a red highlight, and a small golden bird in his hands.
Her breath caught (how the ever living FUCK is ILLUGA here!!!) but she steeled her nerves. Illuga was clearly the oldest, the youngest only being two. There were five kids, the treasure hoarders laughing, something about selling kids if the parents didn't pay the ransom.
Truthfully, she didn't care to listen, her vision tinted red, her hands clenched.
She dropped down from the tree branch she was on, straight on one man's head. She snarled, her deceptively sharp nails being of use, as where her teeth which were also incredibly sharp.
The one she landed on was knocked out and she bit another's hand.
She fought with a ferocity and the wind seemed to bounce with her, seemed to flow with her movements, seemed to nudge her, warning her of attacks and movements. The she TUGGED.
Wind ripped through the clearing, blowing the treasure hoarders into trees, blades of wind making them bleed, except the wounds were quickly healed. She didn't kill them (her past life's deaths were still too fresh, seeing all the near deaths of Mondstat was still too fresh), couldn't bare to sully the children's' eyes.
Something glowing teal hooked around her waist, wind keeping it there.
Jahoda!MC felt a little curious tug at her mind, her vision. It seems this one was also sentient. It sensed her intentions, her rage, her want to free the children and protect them, and well… it accepted her.
Her vision surrounded her, her five pointed star pupils glowing teal, the wind kicked at her feet, and she had no idea that to the other children, she looked like a spirit made flesh.
She walked towards the cage, being careful to exaggerate and slow her movements. She nabbed the key off the ground near a treasure hoarder's unconscious body, and unlocked the cage, letting it swing open as she stepped back. She raised her hands and motioned with her head towards a certain direction. A direction where she heard footsteps, the wind letting her know of the Ratniks running through the trees.
As she started walking away, Illuga calls out, asking her name.
She turns, smiles at the children and says 'Jahoda!MC'. Then right as the Ratniks appeared, she disappeared into the curling mist.
The Ratniks included Illuga's adoptive father, Nikita.
Nikita was fussing over Illuga and questioned/asked what happened, asking who the little girl was that disappeared. Illuga and the other children went into a flurry of words.
They described the wind which bent to her will, the teal glow in her eyes, the way the water in the air seemed to touch them and heal their injuries, the way she made no kill, the way no actual blood was spilt. They spoke of how she simply just, appeared, brought the mist with her, and disappeared the mist following. They spoke of how she saved them, told them her name.
The Ratniks were skeptical but when one of their own saw a small, blonde figure, too small and thin, wielding the wind and fighting off the Wild Hunt, beating it back with an ease, they believed it.
At first they just thought it was a child, but then they saw the small figure appear and disappear more and more, seemingly with the mist, they saw how the wind bent to their will, how more often than not, their eyes glowed teal.
One who has been angered. With what, they don't know, they just know that the spirit is protecting all the innocents of Nod Krai.
So the Ratniks thanked, leaving out little trinkets and bits of food, hoping the spirit does not come to be angry with them.
The spirit never does become angry with them, continuing to protect them. More lives are saved, more Ratniks spared, more hope flourished.
And all thanks to the spirit.
Over the years the spirit seems to age, to grow taller, but they attribute it to watching others grow, wanting to be similar so as to not frighten people.
So they thank and give trinkets and food. They do it no longer while hoping the spirit doesn't turn it's wrath to them, but because they are thankful, they wish for blessings and safety.
And the spirit gives it, they hold nothing back, giving blessings of protection and love. The Ratniks are happy, they are safer, they are protected. Yes some still die, but that is life.
Jahoda!MC was 10 when she watched her village burn to the ground, was 10 when she saw blood soaked streets and bodies strewn about.
She was 10 when the winds went still, when it went mournful, when it responded to her emotions.
She was 10 when she stood in the middle of her village, blood soaking her body, her eyes dead, blood from trying to staunch bleeding and carry people to safety coated her arms.
She was 10 when her mouth felt like ash, when her eyes felt too clear, when her body felt like stone, unmoving and cold, when the only people she loved in this life died.
She was 10 when she saw the spirits of her village surround her, whispering that it wasn't her fault, that they loved her, telling her that she had better live or else they would be mad.
She was 10 and she watched her village be destroyed.
She was 10 and she felt people die in her arms.
She was 10 and had screamed herself hoarse, trying to save everyone and trying to keep them awake and alive.
She was 10 and had no more tears left to shed.
An accident Nod Krai said, a random attack from the Wild Hunt they said.
Jahoda!MC had been collecting some of the crystals that made up Rerir, had showed her siblings had the gems when they asked. Days earlier she had strewn them far in the forest, recognizing that they were dangerous and would draw the Wild Hunt close. But it seems her siblings had ventured in, grabbing the gems, a gift they thought, more gems that their sister was collecting, not knowing that those gems were ones she had thrown away, the very same gems she had shown them.
If she hadn't collected those things, trying to think of a way to make a deal with Rerir so he wouldn't attack Nod Krai anymore…
If she hadn't shown her siblings them…
Maybe then they would be alive.
Maybe it would've been better that she died with them, that she burned in that fire too…
She was a healer, had been the BEST healer as Barbra!MC, but now she couldn't heal a life threatening injury like she could before, not with Anemo. Her vision had wanted to help her, wanted to heal like she wanted it too, but it couldn't be what she wanted or needed and it made the vision so sad. It was not her vision's fault, it was not made to be a healer but a fighter, a protector, so she soothed it, let the Anemo nestle deeper into her soul just as Hydro once did.
She was more feral than ever those months after, angry, tears always glistening in her eyes but never falling because she had no tears, none left. She was fast and her her strikes were jagged, she didn't speak, not even passing comments or soothing words.
Not even when the Ratniks she saved thanked her before she disappeared, not even when the children hugged her tightly, not even when some days she couldn't get out of her perch on a tree where she slept for the night, not even when some days it felt like everything she did was useless.
But she keeps going, because if she dies now then she can't protect and save any others. Because if she dies now that means more people could be hurt by things she was stopping.
She did not live for herself, she never had, in this life or the others. She lived for the people, to protect them, to heal them, to save them.
And that was all she was good for, but even then she failed.
When Flins appears he is curious of this spirit. They do not behave like any ghost he has ever encountered before. So he searches, and asks questions, for if this really is a ghost, then he must do his duty of guiding them to peace.
The Ratniks are weary at first of his questions, they are to any newcomer and/or person not in the Ratniks.
The spirit is not well known, really only known to the ones it saves and the Ratniks.
Eventually he manages to get some answers.
The spirit first appeared when Illuga was kidnapped and they have never stopped showing up sense.
Apparently there was an incident 4 years ago that made the spirit go feral for a long while, angry and hateful, but also so very sad. The spirit had stopped speaking, their eyes always seemingly glistening with unmade tears, the wind around them either still and cold or erratic and fast.
At first the Ratniks had thought they had done something wrong but then they came across it. The spirit, kneeling before many graves, a ruined village (one that still smelled of smoke and blood. A village which made the most Khuuvaki and Wild Hunt members flinch back) a mile or two away, the graves in a giant forest clearing, flowers surrounding them.
The spirit was mourning for those of the lost village, just as they mourned for every other life they could not protect.
Flins when he learned this, visited the flower field, visited the graves. He saw remnants of ghosts, souls who had been taken too early, too violently. Flins watched as the fragments screamed sadness and the wish to comfort and heal. He could not understand why but then he thought back to the story and understood. The spirit mourned and blamed themself for not being able to save the village. But the village had been hidden, protected under many seals, and it was a giant and much more powerful Wild Hunt than normal.
Flins learns as much as he could about the spirit, always wondering why the spirit protected, why it cared so deeply, why it had mourned so much, why the wild Hunt seemed to pivot around it, and he wondered why the spirit had not shown up sooner.
Perhaps they had been dormant? That is the only explanation Flins can think of when he finally meets the spirit.
It is in the shape of a teen girl, about the same age as Illuga. It's eyes glowed teal, wind caressed it's form and yields to it. The mist rolls around their feet, water and air covering the spirit. The wind strikes out against the Wild Hunt while the spirit soothes the children caught up in it all. The spirit is remarkably human, except they cannot be.
Their soul is too old, their body from a time long sense passed, their eyes, although a mutation, were STARS.
This was a spirit given form, a spirit of water and air, one who woke up from it's sleep by Illuga's terror. Most likely it had been resting where the treasure hoarders had been with the children all those years ago.
Jahoda!MC on the other hand is sweat-dropping and begging in her mind for the Fae to GO AWAY. She does not need this attention, she's only 14!
Finally the children in front of her stop crying. Two toddlers. She stands up and puts the toddlers on her hips, just like Aunty Rei, a woman from the village, taught her. These two little trouble makers were orphans but the village cared for them and kept them safe, until they decided they wanted an adventure.
So she walks away, the toddlers on her hips, the mist rolling in.
It's going to be another 6-8 years before Barbra!MC dies. Jahoda!MC is nervous, because if Barbra!MC does not die then Jahoda!MC will fade away.
Flins watches all the while as the spirit left with the two toddlers.
It's only days later does Jahoda!MC see Flins again. She is conversing with a lost soul, a child, one who died far too young and wanted her family.
Flins watches as the spirit, he finally figured out that the name it took was Jahoda!MC, a name only Illuga, who later shared it, was told so the other Ratniks just call the spirit well, the spirit; to call them by their name would be disrespectful and only Illuga has gotten permission to call them hat name.
Flins walks towards the spirit and internally Jahoda!MC is panicking because what does he want.
He just offers his assistance in finding the little ghost's family. Jahoda!MC is slightly shocked but nods and together they search for the family.
Eventually they do find the family and she watches fondly as the ghosts depart together. Flins turns to her and he asks Jahoda!MC her name.
She knows Fae rules so she says he can CALL her Jahoda!MC.
Then he says something that confused her 'Thank you for protecting the Ratniks and giving us all your blessing' so she just nodded and walked back into the forest. The mist rolled in and she was swallowed by it, Flins watching all the while.
Another two years went by and now she's 16.
She met Neffer recently and the woman hired Jahoda!MC. When she found out about the girl's vision, she made the teen wear it on her hip and told her to stop hiding it.
Jahoda!MC acted as canon, and when Neffer found out the girl was living in the forest, well she basically bullied the girl into taking a house.
Jahoda!MC acted as canon, making sure a smile was plastered on her face, making sure she was bright and chaotic, making sure no one saw the sorrow underneath. She avoided the Ratniks carefully, making sure they never saw her.
She did not need them recognizing her which would only lead to Neffer asking questions.
She was so achingly tired.
She gave and gave and gave.
Not like before, before was different, before was when she still had the village.
Jahoda!MC had learned quickly after her village was destroyed (and it was all her fault) to not open her heart, to put on a front and pretend. Her vision soothed her most nights, nestling deep into her heart.
She could only truly open her heart to her vision because it could never leave her, would never leave her, it was stuck with her until she died. But there was a hollowness in her chest, one Mondstat used to be, one where her Hydro vision used to be, one where her village used to be.
And it could never be filled again, not unless she wished to grow close to people once more only to have them taken from her.
So she pretends, cheerful, happy, chaotic, confused.
She was quieter, softer, kinder, so painfully emotional, her heart on her sleeve, distant yet close, always giving and giving and giving and never once taking.
Jahoda!MC collects. She collects the shards of Rerir once more, being careful to keep them on her because if anyone is to be in danger then let it be her and no one else. She is hoping to strike a deal with him when she has gathered a large portion of his power, a deal that would give him said shards and she would help him, but ONLY if he doesn't hurt Nod Krai or any of it's inhabitants.
Her throat still hurts most days (from dying as MC) and her torso often hurts too (from being pierced through/dying as Barbra!MC) but she manages, Neffer hasn't noticed so that's good.
She's met Lauma a few times and the two are a bit like siblings, Jahoda!MC is the younger sister though. Jahoda!MC feels so tired and weary and nervous to Lauma, so much so that Lauma is VERY worried. Neffer can't see it or just doesn't care or ignores it and that makes Lauma annoyed.
Then Kuutar, or Columbina, comes to Nod Krai and Jahoda!MC meets her, becoming friends. Jahoda!MC is someone Columbina cherishes deeply and her necklace… it feels weird, as if a small piece of a soul is attached. And that soul… it feels like Capitano…
Columbina is feral over Jahoda!MC and Jahoda!MC is hesitantly feral over Columbina.
Lauma cherishes Jahoda!MC and Jahoda!MC hesitantly cherishes her in turn.
It's a few years later when she starts fading. The edges of her fingertips and limbs are fading and fear grips her hearts. She knows it's soon.
She avoids everyone (Except the Ratniks because she is saving people, often them) while she is fading and she keeps getting very worried and panicked looks from the Ratniks.
(What is happening to the spirit! That is the thought that circles every Ratnik's mind. Illuga has met Jahoda!MC a few times over the years, the two working together with him often thanking her for saving his comrades lives and his own life. They see her fading and they panic because what is happening, is she going to go dormant, is she dying?! Please don't leave them!)
She is 21, a week after she started fading, when it happens, when she hears it.
Mondstat has been attacked.
The nation remains intact, physically at least, the city although ruined slightly was able to be easily fixed with help from the other nations.
She stopped fading and cried terribly that night, spending the entire night in tears as she saved people. Her past home was attacked, people were hurt, and those she had cherished (still did) had watched her DIE! The Ratniks were relieved the spirit was ok but worried because why was the spirit crying? Was it because of the attack on Mondstat?
(They quickly come to the conclusion that she has a big heart, one that holds everyone. The Ratniks are greedy though, they want more of her love and care, more of her protection and soft hands and soothing words, they want more of her blessings)
It is a week later that the Traveler arrives at Nod Krai with Paimon, both quiet and sad (Barbra!MC had been precious to them, oh so precious).
It is days later that she falls asleep with Anemo and wakes up with Anemo AND Hydro.
Her Hydro vision glowed blue, right near her her. Her Anemo and Hydro conversed, curling around her protectively and possessively. They got to know each other and her heart was filled just a little, the cracks in her heart filling with Anemo and Hydro.
They joined together and stuck with her. Her Anemo on her hip, her Hydro in her bag.
Elsewhere a certain Acting Grandmaster visited a flower filled grave and froze, because where a gray vision once lay, was now empty.
Whoever took it would have HELL to pay, Mondstat would make sure they were punished.
(Sooo… little explanation if you couldn't catch it)
(MC to Barbra!MC who doesn't remember her life as MC but has echoes. Then Barbra!MC dies and… things happen [the stuff with the shades was poetic {I think} so i'm not explaining it].
The body she inhabits was special.
Capitano/Thrain's child was one many adored. Pierro had basically adopted her as a granddaughter. The sinners came across her because Capitano/Thrain and Dainsleif knew each other and he had the blonde babysit his kid when he and Pierro were busy.
Because of that Tholindis is also introduced.
Capitano/Thrain, the sinners, Tholindis, Dainsleif, and Pierro all become one giant family, with Jahoda!MC as the center of their little family.
She gets that necklaces, with the centerpiece/charm as a sword wrapped in vines and flowers, from the entire family. It was a way of marking her as THEIRS. Capitano/Thrain had even done something he never would've otherwise, pouring in so much love and effort that an echo, a little piece of his actual soul, burrowed in the necklace.
But then the Cataclysm happens and Jahoda!MC is DYING [Her name back then was also Jahoda!MC]. Capitano/Thrain is cradling her in his arms, tears falling. But then she is taken and all that jazz.
If any of them saw her again [and if they somehow didn't recognize her at first sight] and then realized it was her, they would merely assume she got amnesia, or just didn't remember because she was toddler)
(Also I get this may not be that emotional and stuff but i'm a very emotional person ok! So this makes me really sad!)
(…just ignore me [curls up in a corner and cries])
I LOVED this! Holy moly this was so good! 🤩
...Also, can I join you in that corner? I think i need a good cry to after reading all MC/Barbara!MC/Jahoda!MC went through... 🥺
And speaking of Jahoda!MC, I was NOT expecting her getting the MC treatment! I love Jahoda, so this was a fun twist! ...Though its not fun hearing her go through the angst train...
Tagging: @platinumrosetail, @arn9tails, @bloodytea, @lovelyjane-stuff
