also my headcanon about dave is that he is bad at expressing his feelings so he keeps them bottled up or something yeah. im so sorry spooky. ily

I’m looking at the setting moon and I’m thinking about his eyes. Which is totally irrelevant, because his eyes are blue (forget about comparisons such as ‘bluer than the ocean/sky’).

I’m trying to think of a way to describe his eyes but my mind goes blank. His eyes aren’t cyan. They aren’t blue like ink. Urgh. Blue like the Texas sky? Forget about it. They are fucking blue. That’s it. Not like electricity. Just pure blue that makes you go all cooked spaghetti soft.

One thing I like about summer is 5am.

Also his knuckles. I think I can write a poem about them.

And have you seen his elbows? I wish I haven’t. I didn’t even fucking knew elbows could be attractive.

And can we please talk about how soft his hands are and always a bit red around the knuckles and how they make my kokoro go dokidoki? Yeah.

I was supposed to go to bed 3 hours ago. But, oh, the thug life.

I hate sleeping alone. That’s why I pretend he’s the big pillow I’m hugging every night. I agree, it’s pretty pathetic. But it’s also true. And somethimes truth is pathetic.

They say love is colder than death, but I find it warm like home-cooked food and cocoa. And I’m pretty sure love smells like wet leaves and rain and ghosts. Or maybe like green tea and cinnamnon. I haven’t decided yet.

And I don’t care if love will tear us apart because, who cares, we’re going to Hell anyway. And I want to be sure that I’ve kissed all his knuckles before we go. I want to make sure I’ve kissed the bridge of his nose and his fucking eyelids and his palms and collarbones and hips and eyebrows and shoulders and... heart.

And I’ll go to bed I promise just listen to me for a second there.

He ruined me and it’s the pure beautiful horrible kind that leaves my chest aching. He’s still ruining me without even realizing it. It scares me, the way he can shake my whole body and soul every time he laughs. And my heart swells, I know I’m a total sucker for this fucking boy, I know my heart is totally fucked. I know, I know. I know it.

I want him to fucking vanish because I can’t even handle him anymore. And at the same time please please don’t fucking leave. Never ever ever. Please don’t go because I’m afraid the Earth will stop moving without you John, and the oxygen will disappear. And how am I supposed to breathe if it happens?

I love  him with all my freckles and fingernails, with all my eyelashes and ribs. I’m his. And I’m kind of sure he’s mine, I don’t know. Being his is enough.

I hate his stupid face, but, oh the way he blushes.

And I’m thankful it’s 5:38am because I wouldn’t say all that if it wasn’t.

The truth is. He’s my world now and it’s a scary thought. But then he’s here and when he’s here I know I’ll be okay. And oh god oh god I’m not even in love anymore. If I could, I’d hold hands with him forever.

And it sounds cheesy and awful oh god I should just go to bed already.