#bale cod

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BALE:

Most definitely adopted you. Does his best not to embarrass you by being overbearing, but he is very fussy over you to be transparent. He likes to check you over slightly, as secretly as possible. Also likes to invite you for food or bring you stuff so he knows that you're eating well, also makes sure you're packed up fully before leaving onto a mission.

MINOTAUR:

The fun dad! Kind of guy that loves throwing kids up in the air and catching them. Less possible when it comes to an adult who's an efficient killer and soldier. Still, invites you to stay with him whenever you have time off at the same time. Also very dad jokey, kind of guy who intentionally gets stuff wrong to irritate you or embarrass you in that "that's what dads do" kind of way. NIKTO:

THE example of grouchy man and his adopted child he slowly grows to care for. Definitely not openly affectionate, instead more of a shadow. He moves in his best attempt to not be noticed as a "softy" nor otherwise caring in any manner. Will leave Sputnik with you under the excuse of "babysitting" but the truth is YOU'RE the one being babysat. Shows affection through awkward pats on the upper back or shoulder when you come back from a mission/other form of separation.

RODION:

He's the youngest and the others often treat him like he's dramatically younger, so he's very young father-coded. Giving those photos from the early 2000s of those guys sitting on the couch playing a video game with his baby in his lap. Very jokey, knows the slang but still uses it awkwardly because English is his second language. Act first think later kind of guy, will punch someone for you. BONUS: NIKOLAI:

I know so many people agree that he is a very fatherly type of guy, especially in the context of NikPrice, but I think that he is very much a competitive kind of guy. Type of father that is at the sidelines of pretty much every event screaming the loudest. Also very physically affectionate, kind of guy to wrap you in a side hug and shake you when excited.

YEGOR:

BALE:

Very much glad to reciprocate the affection. Will drop anything for a hug or forehead/temple/check kiss. Is very cautious with initating the affection in public/in front of your friends, so he doesn't upset you if you aren't in the mood this time, but he'll always make sure to very quickly hold you hand, press a kiss to your hair, or hug you tight if you want it.

Definitely has movie nights where you cuddle on the couch. He always falls asleep with his head ontop of yours.

MINOTAUR:

Definitely where you got it from. Loud, affectionate with everyone. He has a lot of kids, he has to make sure they all have enough affection and thus he does it loud and obviously. He only just holds your hand if it's thr whole family. If it's just you, he wraps an arm over your shoulder and pulls you in close. Always fixing your hair, rubbing and patting your shoulder, making sure you know he's there.

Lowkey still tucks you in at night probably. At least checks on you while you're sleeping.

RODION:

He's so happy, he's so lucky. Flexes it to everyone and all who can intake information through any manner. Forhead kisses diabolically cartoonishly dramatic. He's on the school's PTA just to flex that his kid loves him while everyone else's kids are going through the angst phase and their marriages are falling apart.

NIKTO:

Not as thrilled. He was hoping for the angst phase, to be honest - he hates being touched, and he already gave that up for the younger years. He doesn't tell anyone he's still waiting for the day you loudly complain when he leans in to press a kiss to your head and gently smooths your clothes. He wishes you well, and then goes home and lays in the dark, alone and untouched for however long he can get away with it.

Rodion still ends up burnt

Minotaur picks anyone he can hold up and throws them into the water

This will include you at least once

Bale gets it a lot more

That's what he gets for being a twin

Not even Nikto is safe from Minotaur's tossing

Most of the time Nikto plays fetch with Sputnik

Bale grills Shashlik for everyone

I see him being the best cook of the Spetznas so it slaps

Rodion has a speaker that's blasting hardbass

No one else is pleased with this

Sputnik won't walk near it when it's playing

If you're more up to stay on the beach to tan, Bale is there to have conversations with you

If you prefer to stay at the edge of the water, Minotaur is hanging out there and will probably splash you at least once

Rodion is out past the breaking point, bobbing through the waves

And Nikto is wherever Sputnik takes him, but probably somewhere further down the beach in ankle-deep water

He will not let you play fetch with Sputnik

He says it's because they're "training" but he just gets jealous when Sputnik gives affection to someone else

That's HIS hyena goddamn it

Sputnik does probably tackle Rodion once though

If it's an American beach Rodion keeps insisting that everyone plays volleyball

Nikto sits out so that you can play and it will be even

He has to hold Sputnik anyway

The end of the day is every one very tired piling into the car

Bale drives, Nikto sits in the passenger seat, and you sit with Minotaur and Rodion in the back

Sputnik sits in Rodion's lap

They play much slower, quieter Russian music in the car

Minotaur seems hyped still, and Bale is still very aware, but Nikto's head rests on the window and Rodion buries his face in Sputnik's fur

Bale is on aloe vera duty after

Rodion is pretty burned, Minotaur is burned the worst, and Nikto managed to make it out of there not burned at all

Nikto complains about not being able to hose Sputnik (and Rodion) down outside

Sputnik gets showered first, there is no argument to that

You get back to the place you're staying and Nikto just wanders into the bathroom and puts Sputnik into the tub

You may not help (see above)

He won't mind you watching, though

Rodion takes Sputnik out so that Nikto can shower next

You have a choice in what order you can shower now

But Sputnik going first is non-negotiable

They are literally each other's best friends

Bale and his Brother

They willingly shared a bedroom as kids

Shortly after the Allegiance disbanded, Bale retired to move in with Minotaur

Very attentive uncle

He would have bought his own house but how was his brother gonna handle four kids by himself

Whenever he leaves the house with one or more of the kids he gets mistaken for their dad and if Minotaur's with them people think he's the uncle

Out of him and Minotaur, he's the one who's less reactive to illness

Really good cook

Bale and you

Not particularly big on PDA

It's not he doesn't like to be affectionate with anyone

He's just been in the army from a young age and not sure if he's allowed to do that

He gets a little stiff if you reach for him

But he doesn't push you away or anything, he'll hold your hand if you want to

Bale confessed pretty quick after he realized he was attracted to you

Your first date was a fancy restaurant for dinner

You sat outside by one of those fire things

BALE:

It hurts him, but he hopes it will correct itself without imposing himself onto you. He is in denial that this isn't working.

MINOTAUR:

Does his best to bribe himself into good favor again. Any toy you want, you get to pick dinner every night. Overall, takes it much more openly emotionally when compared to his brother.

NIKTO:

Nikto works quietly. Again, he believes you can't let emotions impact your decisions in the moment. He pretends it doesn't hurt him, but he's sure exposure therapy would work. He is very insistent at specifying your relation and meeting your friends.

RODION:

Now the objective and more popular (hypothetically, this is a small section of the fandom here lol) would be Bale stays back

But the more fun idea is that Minotaur, the louder and more "fun" brother, stays back with the stuff because he's afraid of big rides

I think Rodion gets the shakes and he probably rubs his sweaty hands off on people

You're the first target

If you tell him to stop, he instead wipes his hands on Nikto

Nikto doesn't mind but he does give Rodion little glares

Rodion screams on rides at the top of his lungs

He also holds his hands up the whole time despite moments prior saying he's so scared and shaking

I remember once on my headcanon tiktok that's very dead I made the joke headcanon that Nikto goes limp on rides because he thinks they're more fun like that and I think that deserves a mention

I think Nikto double-checks whoever is right next to him's restraints after the worker leaves

Not to insert one of my home parks here, but Rodion totally cries tears of joy the first time he sees Hangtime/Xelerator at Knotts

Nikto really likes zero-gravity rides

Rodion likes big rollercoasters (obvi)

I don't think Bale has that much of an opinion, I think he's just there to have fun

Minotaur likes baby rides

Don't take him on one of those dragon/boat swinging rides he will cry

Bale does his research on any park you're at, though

He knows all there is to know, from the food to the rides to the temperature to the whole map like he's been there his whole life, even if it's the first time

You do have to deal with a gaggle of intimidating Russian men standing by the entrance to the bathrooms if you go, though

Rodion is def a kid magnet so a little kid probably will come up to him and say something cute

He cries

Bale is still the driver on the way back

BALE:

It hurts his heart. He knew you would get bigger, but this is a little too big. He remembers when he could pick you up, and looking you in the eye without having to even look down - maybe even look up - just crushes him. Still, he is very proud of his kid and does his best to show that, even if it seems silly or overbearing. Also insists on his son trying on anything he's saved from his youth, old suits and the like. Sometimes just puts his hand on your shoulder and looks at you sadly but won't admit to it if you ask what's wrong.

MINOTAUR:

Minotaur laughs about it, he shows his kid off all of the time. He's very proud that you're so tall. It's his genetics after all. Bro introduces his kids in a line-up where he just yaps about his favorite part of them. He loves each of his kids and you are no different. You being tall is a show that not only are his genetics great but he was also a great father who raised a healthy, strong, tall kid.

NIKTO:

This scares the crap out of him. He doesn't notice for a while, until it's too late. Suddenly, one day you walk in and he looks you in the eyes and he flinches back. What the fuck? You shrink back down right this moment adolescent (gender-neutral young man/lady ??? 😭). This is out of the norm and he isn't a fan of when his norm is disrupted

RODION: