#baicang

When Baicang finally crawled out of the tent, you slowly lowered the flap so that your master wouldn’t wake from the noise, even if they should have from the rustling of blankets and pillows. You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding once the tent fully closed and immediately turned to Baicang, “Follow me.” You said, reaching down to grab his hand to drag him along with you. He stumbled after you, steps uncertain like a newborn buck before he found his footing. “Where are we going?” He asked, a small voice crack causing him to grow slightly embarrassed as he dipped his head to look at the ground beneath his feet

You didn’t answer his question, opting to keep quiet to keep him in suspense as you walked amongst the flowers. Baicang lifted his gaze to look at the back of your head before casting a glance at his surroundings, he noted the clearing in the field that the three of you would sit for afternoon tea, the trampled patches of flowers when you and him sparred the other day, and the trees that lined the edges of the flower field; one of which had a large branch at its base, from when you climbed it trying to race him to the top and fell off halfway. He didn’t even entertain your antics that day, as if already knowing what would happen.

With all of these subtle little things around, it made him aware of just how much time he spent with you and his teacher. It made his heart– that little organ in his chest which he long thought was hardened– quicken in pace, a flutter of warmth spreading through his chest; as if the two of you had planted a seed in him that grew into feelings of fondness. Baicang ducked his head once more, white locks falling around him, and encasing his face in a slight shadow as he couldn’t stop the smile that grew on his face. Truly, he believed with all his being, that he belonged here– with you and your shared teacher.

“We’re here,” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making him lift his head to see where you had dragged him to. In front of you both was the entrance to a cavern, it was more of a drop than an entrance really, with just a few steps forward and you’d be falling into the abyss below. Moss covered the stone, creeping down from the top to spread along the walls as plants overhead grew downward, partially hiding the entrance while the branches of the bushes around seemed to grow toward the both of you, as if they were tiny hands reaching out to grab at you. Water dripped from the ceiling of the cavern and onto the damp ground, the sound of it echoing in the spacious cavity.

Baicang looked around before tilting his head, “Why are we here?” He asked, unsure of why you brought him out in the middle of the night just to show him a cave. Surely, you could’ve done it when the sun was out? You released his hand and turned to face him, spinning on your heels. “We’re here because of this,” You stretched your arms out, as if showing off the cavern behind you. “You just started talking, right?” It was a rhetorical question as a smile graced your lips. “Which means you haven’t had the chance to shout into a hole and hear your voice echo back!” You exclaimed, reaching forward to tug him closer to you by his sleeve.

“Listen to this,” You turned to face the drop of the cavern and cupped your hands over your mouth, forming an ‘O’ shape. Sucking in a breath, you puffed out your chest before using all your might and shouting, “Baicang’s an idiot!” Into the void below. Your voice echoed back to you, bouncing along the walls before gradually fading into nothing.

Baicang looked at you in mild exasperation at your words and rolled his eyes, he had half the mind to head back to the tent and leave you here alone. Because who in their right mind would drag someone out to scream into a hole in the middle of the night when they could’ve been sleeping other than you?

But when you turned around to face him with that look, the kind that does the begging for you without needing you to use your words, he let out a huff of air and shook his head. Wordlessly, he stepped forward and cupped his hands around his mouth just like you did. You two were already out here, he might as well entertain you a little.

You stared in anticipation, leaning toward him in interest with a tilt of your head, wondering what he’ll say. Maybe he’ll take a jab back at you, or maybe he’ll say some dumb thing. It's fifty-fifty, really. As Baicang sucked in a breath and you leaned in closer, the ground beneath your feet gave out, rocks and dirt falling into the abyss below followed by you. In that split moment, your body went stiff, mind running too fast for you to even register what you were thinking as visions swam across your eyesight. You had always thought that the ‘life flashing before your eyes moments before you died’ thing was cliche, but as it was happening to you right now, it didn’t seem that way anymore.

Before you could fall deeper in, Baicang’s hand clasped around your wrist, your name falling from his lips in a desperate yell. His voice, while still hoarse, reverberated through the cave in a thunderous echo. His fingers were curled around your wrist as he leaned over the edge, his free hand digging into the earth as he held himself there. For a moment, everything felt frozen in time as you looked up at him, your body frozen as you dangled above the darkness.

Baicang’s eyes were blown wide in panic as his fingers trembled, his hair cascaded down, framing his face and casting faint shadows over yours as his breath came in short, frantic pants.His expression was one of panic as his fingers tightened their hold around your wrist, he could feel each miniscule movement of you slowly slipping from his grip and it made his heart pound in his ears.

His mind was running wild with thoughts, all of them were either bad or terrible. He knew he should be coming up with solutions on how to get you out of this predicament and negative thinking would only distress him even more but he couldn’t help it, those thoughts creeped up on him like vines growing on the trunk of a tree. This wasn’t what he needed, but his rationality was slipping away from him, much like how your arm was with each passing millisecond.

Faces drifted across his visions, faces of those that he had witnessed perish firsthand. He saw glassy, vacant eyes staring back at him, he could hear the thud of bodies dropping to the floor. Everything was so vivid and tears welled up in his eyes, dripping down onto your face in little drops as Baicang leaned a little more over the edge. “Don’t let go,” He begged, holding onto you like you were his lifeline, as if he were the one dangling over the unknown instead of you.

He couldn’t let go of you, he wouldn’t let go of you. Not when he had finally found somewhere he belonged, somewhere that he felt understood.

He knew he couldn’t preserve anything fully, that death was a part of life; to live is to die. But he wanted nothing more than to preserve you, to guard you until your very last moments. He had always tried his best to save everything he came across, trying to extend their life until they eventually met their end and right now– he wanted to save you.

“Baicang,” Your voice once again shook him out of his own thoughts, if only for a brief moment. You sounded deceptively calm even if your eyes were wide with fear, no matter how hard you tried to hide it.  “Don’t think, just pull.” It was a command and it somehow pierced through the panic, the words imprinting in his head.

‘Just pull.’

With laboured breaths and a few close calls, he eventually heaved you out and you landed in front of him, just shy of falling again into the hole. Baicang grabbed you by the arm and tugged you toward him, away from the drop, and right into his chest. He wrapped his arms around him, fingers digging into the fabric of your clothes as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

You could feel his tears dampening your skin but that was the least of your worries right now, his body was trembling and so was yours as you enveloped your arms around him, pulling him flush against you while combing your fingers through his hair. Neither of you said anything, there wasn’t a need to as you both held onto each other in silence, hearts pounding and minds replaying what had just happened. It took a solid ten minutes of clinging onto each other before you both eventually untangled and stood up, your hand clasped tightly in his as he walked you both back to the tent, with you following him this time. 

The walk back was silent as you stared at your joint hands, his distraught expression replaying in your mind. You had never seen him cry before, let alone be so distressed, and both had happened in the span of minutes. You could see the slight tremors in his shoulders as he walked and your brows furrowed, you had to make it up to him. You gave his hand a small squeeze, a silent “sorry for everything”, to which he responded with a squeeze back, an “I’m not forgiving you just yet”.

Just as the tent came into view and you thought that you could finally rest from your little ‘adventure’, the figure of your master caught your attention, standing next to the tent with their arms crossed over their chest. “Ah, my wonderful disciples!” They exclaimed, a sickly sweet smile on their face, freezing you and Baicang. That smile may seem friendly but it was the furthest thing from it, their eyes gleamed as they made their way to the both of you, a hand reaching out to flick Baicang’s forehead and then yours. “Twenty laps tomorrow,” They said, tone brooking no room for argument as they placed their hands on their hips.

“Yes master…”