#baflams

After about 20 minutes of debating with himself about whether Alex should join you in his bed or not, he had come to the conclusion that he would. You guys have cuddled in his bed countless times! What's so different about this time? Oh, maybe the fact that he was practically studying the way that you were grinding on a guy just hours prior to this. Alex genuinely tried to be stealthy about this, really he did at least try. But, his clumsiness fails him yet again. On his way to his room, he stubs his toe. He lets out a strained “fuck” at the feeling. As if that wasn't enough, his floors were hardwood and creaky as hell for no reason due to renovations and partly because he bought an old house because he was just infatuated with the way that it looked. When he successfully made it to his room without making any more excessive noise, he peered in and saw you sleeping. He stepped in the room, being as quiet as humanly possible. You were bundled up in the cream coloured duvet. You looked so… at peace? comfortable? Alex didn't even know if there was a word close enough to describe how pretty you looked. Thankfully, you were only on one side of the bed so it was relatively easy for him to climb in after he changed into his pajamas. As he climbed into the bed he heard you stir a bit but you didn't wake up. After he successfully got into the bed now came the task of getting under the comforter. He wiggled himself up enough, now his back was against his headboard. He pulled the duvet back, slipped back down and was successfully in the bed. What's the worst thing about this situation? Oh, maybe the fact that Alex can't go to sleep without holding something. Pillow? Sure. Stuffed animals? Sure. Big blanket? Sure. Human? Definitely. You? Always. Thankfully, your back was towards him so it was relatively easy for him to spoon you. You stirred slightly and Alex froze. Unbeknownst to your conscience, you laid back and relaxed against his chest with no issues. Alex slung an arm around your waist and was basically hugging you at this point. Before the sleep caught up to Alex, he whispered a quiet, “get some rest, cariño.”

When you woke up, the thought of last night was a blur. You went to a club, danced on somebody, caught Alex staring at you, came home and then fell asleep in his bed. Before your body could register it, you felt somebody behind you. Was it the guy from last night? Was it somebody else? Was it Alex?- no! It can't be Alex? Can it? You slowly looked behind you and before you knew it you saw Alex with his arm hugging your waist and his face pressed up against the side of your neck with his breath slowly tickling your collarbone. What!? How in the world could you have ended up in the bed with Alex of all people? You guys couldn't have…? No, you would definitely have enough thought to stop that. But, if it happened, would you stop it? As your thoughts ran rampant, you decided that it would probably be good to get out of Alex's bed and go to your own room and get ready for the day. You slowly slipped out of Alex's touch and replaced your body with a pillow (because of course you know his sleeping habits too.). You gathered all your belongings that you left behind in his room last night when you decided to fall asleep on his bed. After gathering your things you slowly exited his room and went to yours. You decided that you would try to go to your apartment today without Alex's help. After getting ready and throwing on an outfit that consisted of a simple t-shirt and some baggy light wash jeans, you decided that it was time to head out. As you left the house and locked the door (because of course you had his only spare key.), you got in your car and started it. As the engine purred you decided that it would be best if you texted Alex where you were going just in case he woke up before you got back.

You || 10:03 AM.

going to the apartment rn, be back soonnn!

With the chime of your phone to signal that it sent, you were off. As the radio played some new pop song that you and alex have probably listened to a thousand times together, quietly in the background, all you could think about was alex and where your relationship lied right now. After everything that happened last night and finding him practically slouched on you this morning when you woke up, you didn't know what to think about all of this. Did you have feelings for him? Did he have feelings for you? He did say that you were pretty last night before you guys left for the bar, and he did whisper something to you last night that you couldn't quite catch. As you pulled into the parking lot in front of your apartment you checked your exes location because apparently he forgot to take you off of his life360. “Xxxx, at ‘Moms’, here for 3 days.” perfect, that's exactly what you wanted to see. You walked up the stairs of your complex and stepped in front of the door to your apartment. You slowly slotted the key into the deadbolt lock and slowly unlocked the door. Stepping inside the smell of stale air hit you like no other, you were planning on moving back in soon but didn't really feel ready just yet. You immediately went to your room to just grab clothes and some necessities, nothing extra. You see that the door is cracked so you push it open and lo and behold there he is in all of his glory, with another girl cuddlied up into his side with her shirt off. What the hell! You stand and contemplate for a minute about what to do and you come to the conclusion that you need to just get in and get out. You slowly make your way over to the closet and start getting some clothes, not making any noise that you don't need too. You heard stirring and froze. After the slight stirring died down you continued getting your clothes. You only grabbed a couple shirts and a pair of jeans and a pair of leggings. You peeked out of the closet and realized that someone was missing from the bed and the bathroom door was closed. You made sure that this mission was very very timely. You made a point to be just as silent on the way out as you were coming in. As you were walking down the hallway you heard the shower turn on, thank god for the extra noise. As you’re walking out, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You ignored it until you got to your car.

alexxx ♡♡ || 10:19 AM.

mkay, call me if u need me to come over. can we talk when u get home? ily

Okay, where to start? Its been about 2 weeks and this have gotten…weirder? First off, Alex and his girlfriend broke up. When he told you, you were obviously curious, (as any bestfriend would be! No toher reason..) and you asked him why they broke things off, he said that it was because he just lost interest and thinks that he has feelings for someone else, you didnt really put that much though into it. Secondly, about 2 days after he told you that they broke up, you and Alex both decided to go out to a bar, fun right? No! Not fun when your best friend just went through a break up and you havent been with a single person in 6 months! When you got to the bar you immediately went to the actual bar part and ordered yourself and Alex a drink (because of course you know his favourite drink.) while Alex meandered around the bar itself. When your drinks got placed on the bar by the bartender Alex very conveniently found his way back to your side, taking his drink and pulling you away while telling the bartender to just, ‘put it on his tab!’. What? Put it on his tab? Does he come here often? Well, he did recommend that you both go to this bar over the one that you recommended.

Soon enough after your first drink and halfway through your second, you found yourself on the dancefloor, dancing on some guy you didnt even know.

As you were dancing, you could feel a pair of eyes on you. A very familiar pair of brown eyes. You stopped dancing for a minute and found Alex across the room with his eyes dead-set on you. As soon as he saw you and you both made eye contact he looked away as fast as he could whilst you did the same. You could feel a slight blush creep its way onto your already rosy cheeks. Did you feel embarrassed? Were you just too drunk to comprehend your bodies need to blush? Were you turned on?- No. You definitely, 100 percent, were not turned on by your best friend staring at you while you grinded on a random person at the club. But was he turned on? You havent even stopped to consider the fact that Alex might be turned on right now! You politely excuse yourself from the situation and go try to find Alex. After about 5 minutes and a couple sips of your drink you found Alex in a corner, isolated from all the noise and drunken people. Phone in hand, drink in the other, you approach him and he hears the click of your shoes and looks up from his phone. He sees you walking down the hallway and immediately puts his phone away and scanning over your body. You say that youre ready to go home and go to bed which he absolutely agrees on.

On the way home, the car is mostly silent, the occasional notification on either of your phones interrupting the silence momentarily. The silence is a blend of comfortable and awkward silence. The car pulls into the driveway of Alex’s house and you both get out and go inside. Conveniently, the bathroom that you currently use is undergoing some renovations so youve had to shower in Alex’s shower. No biggie right? Wrong! This is everything but comforting as you were just pressed up against a guy you didnt even know! You asked if you could take a quick shower and of course he agreed without hesitation and left you to go shower. Your shower went great and you did your nightly routine. As you stepped out of the bathroom you saw Alex’s bed. It looked so warm and inviting to your drunken mind. ‘What the hell, laying on his bed for 5 minutes wouldnt hurt.’ you thought. You thought wrong. You fell asleep. After everything that happened tonight you just cant seem to have your mind in the right place, can you? Alex found you after about 10 minutes of you falling asleep. He panicked and scrambled to do the right thing in this moment. He pulled a blanket over you and decided that he would sleep on the couch tonight. ‘The couch sucks’ is the conclusion that Alex had came to after 2 and a half hours of tossing and turning. Joining you in his bed wouldnt be terrible…

When you made it to your car, you slipped your phone out of your back pocket and saw what Alex had texted you. You got into your car with your phone in your other hand. You brought the phone to your face to unlock it, your phone instantly recognizes your face and unlocks your phone. You open up your messages and click on you and Alex's chat and see the simple text that he sent you a minute ago. Without a second thought in your head or, a thought telling you to not respond, you typed up a simple text saying:

You || 10:21 AM.

okay! just got outta the apt, ill be home in a bit, ilym! ♡

You sent it before you could overthink it and tell yourself no. You start your car and feel the thrum of the engine around you while you press on the brake and put the car into reverse so you can back out and head home. As you're driving you start to think about what Alex wants to talk about but you have a good idea of what it is or what it will be. Does Alex want to talk about how he was staring you down last night? Or, how you woke up to him pressed up against you shirtless this morning? Or, any of the other countless other things that have happened over the last 8 years that have resulted in you two being mistaken for a couple more times than you've been labeled as just best friends. You have a little bit of time before you get to Alex's house so you just chill for a bit while the radio is somehow playing the same song that was playing before. You’re aimlessly driving but think about getting a coffee before getting home. What’s ever gone wrong with getting a drink with 300 milligrams of caffeine and a bunch of sugar in it while you're already anxious and jittery? You contemplate for a minute before deciding on a yes and start driving to your (and alex’s..) favourite coffee shop. Coincidentally, before you and alex actually met, you would come here to study or to just relax. He would be in the same spot everytime; the booth seat with a cup of black coffee and his laptop propped open in front of him. You could only imagine what he was working on since he took a class that was slightly higher than the regular class that you were in. Law school in itself is already hard so taking an advanced class is a move that takes absolute bravery, and having the prestige skill to stay in the class? That takes an absolute genius. Anyways, you pulled up to the coffee shop, parked, then turned your car off. This place isn't the most popular place but my god does it have good drinks. You walked in and walked up to the counter to order, and were greeted with a girl who looked about your age if not younger. You order something for you and Alex (because you obviously know how he likes his coffee.). After about 5 minutes of waiting for your coffee, the girl called your name and you got your and Alex's coffee. You walk out to your car with the coffees in hand and put them on the hood of your car while you open the door of your car. You successfully get the coffees in and start your car and pull out to start driving. Now that you're actually on your way home the anxiety really starts to settle in your bones, you can't help but bite the skin around your nail and the nail itself.

After about 10 minutes of driving you finally pull into the neighbourhood and start to find Alex's house amongst the hundreds of other houses that look just like his. You find his house after about 2 minutes of filtering through different houses trying to find Alex’s. You pull your car into his driveway right next to his. After about 10 minutes of mentally preparing for this ‘talk’, you grab all your things and walk up to the front door and slowly push it open. When you step into the house you're immediately greeted by the smell of food but more specifically, something sweet. You walk by the kitchen and spot the man himself over the stove with a spatula in hand. As if he was on queue, he turns around and makes eye contact with you. To try and save this conversation from being the most awkward thing in the world you immediately chime in with, “Hey! I stopped by the coffee place we like and I got you this!” you say while smiling and walking over to hand him his drink. He (obviously) takes it graciously and takes a sip and makes a simple “mm” noise at the taste. After a moment of brief silence, Alex says, “uh hey i made breakfast for you, didn't want you going hungry on me now” he says with a tone of sweetness lacing his voice. He sees that you have everything in your arms and quickly lets you go up to the guest room to put your stuff away. Walking up the stairs you can't help but think about when this ‘talk’ is going to happen. You arrive at your room and slowly put away the clothes in your closet, you practically have your whole closet here despite not even officially living here. As you're putting your things away and getting back into the groove of things, you hear Alex call for you from downstairs. You panic and freeze up, having a good idea of what he was calling you for. You call back and tell him that you'll be down in a minute. You finish putting your things away and start heading downstairs slower than you normally do. That caffeine anxiety is really getting put in overdrive right about now.

You finally make it downstairs and see that Alex is sitting at the table with a plate in front of him. You walk up and sit in front of him and see that he has another plate in front of him as well. He finally sees you and lets you sit down and start eating. He made pancakes and cut up some fruit to go with it too. He put two pancakes and some strawberries and blueberries on your plate. As you’re cutting up your food, Alex speaks up, “uhm, I told you that I wanted to talk to you about something earlier” he says while cutting up his food as well. You’re already chewing so you just give a conformational “mhm” and hope that can suffice. He takes that as a sign to keep talking. “So, we’ve obviously been friends for a pretty long time and uh we know each other really well”, he pauses seemingly waiting for a response. “I mean yeah duh.” is the only thing that comes out of your mouth. You’ve heard this spiel from so many guys but coming from Alex? It means something completely different. He keeps talking, “uhm okay i dont know why im being a pussy about this but im just gonna spit it out” Oh god here it comes. “I like you- no fuck, i love you- no, god why does this sound bad either way? I have since before I even broke up with whatever her name is. I only got with her because I wanted you and I needed someone to fill the gap, I didn't even like her. I-if you don't feel the same way, I get it, i understand if you like never wanna talk to me again." Alex spews. Were you even hearing all of this right? He likes you of all people, you? Out of 8 billion people on this entire earth, he likes you? At this point you've completely stopped eating and let your hands fall limp onto the table. “Alex, you know that I love you but this is a lot to take in right now. Just give me a bit to process this.” is all that you could muster up before you got up and went to your room. When you got up to your room all you could do was internally panic, not for your sake, for Alex's. He just poured his heart out and you just left him there! What a friend you are. Do you like him back? He has been going to the gym a lot more recently and he has been more clingy towards you since then. Did you admire that about him? Yes, yes you did. It feels like you're just fighting the inevitable. You change into some shorts and a tshirt, funnily enough, one of Alex's shirts that you stole from him that he never had the heart to take back, because he just thought that it looked too good on you. You layed down on your bed and got under the blanket with ease. All you could think about was Alex. When you blinked the only thing that flashed through your mind was his face. Were you mad about that? Absolutely not. Slowly but surely, you fell asleep. After sleeping for about 2 and a half hours, you woke up to a text from the man himself.

alexxx ♡♡ || 11:37 AM.

im going out to run a few errands, u need anything? Ily

You grabbed your phone and sent a quick text back.

You || 12:52 PM.

nah im okay but be back soon i miss u

It was only when it sent, is when you realized what you had said. “Be back soon” ??? “i miss you” ?? What were you thinking? After wallowing in your own pity for about 10 minutes, you decide to get up and get ready for the day again. You get up, and put on some sweatpants and a tanktop. You go downstairs to make something to eat. After making some pasta recipe you found on tiktok a while ago you think that it'd only be right if you saved some for alex since he cooked for the both of you earlier. After putting some into a bowl, you put some tinfoil over it and put it in the fridge. It was only then, that you realized how much of a mess that the house had become. You might as well clean it because you know damn well Alex wont. He is still a man after all. After finding a good playlist you put on your headphones and maxed out the volume. After about two hours, the house was absolutely spotless. Dishes? Done and put away. Clothes? Washed, folded and put away. Floors? Swept and mopped. The house smelt of linen and berries. You finally finished cleaning and your whole body fell limp on the couch. You disconnected your headphones and started just aimlessly scrolling on your phone until Alex got home. Do you like him? Well, there was that one time where you and your (now) ex boyfriend were having sex and you accidentally moaned Alex's name instead of your boyfriend's. Was he pissed? Absolutely! Did you call Alex after and tell him about it? Well obviously. Did you end up going over to Alex's house when your boyfriend cooled down and fell asleep? Fortunately. While you were watching some police bodycam video, you heard the front door open, and there he stood. Alex had a multitude of bags in his hands, before you could even register what he had, you jumped up to help him. You grabbed the bags out of his hands and he muttered a quick “Thanks” under his breath. You were busy putting the bags down in the kitchen until you heard a loud “Woah!” from the living room. You rushed out of the kitchen and saw Alex standing looking around him, marveling at the pristine condition that the house was in. “Did you do this?” he said with anticipation in his voice. “Well, I just happened to notice that the house was a mess after I made food, so I cleaned it!” you said with a tone of accomplishment lacing your honey sweet voice. “You, my love, work faster than God himself.” he said whilst walking to the kitchen to continue the job that you had abandoned. That name. He called you ‘my love’? To be fair, he always calls you that, but after the love confession that had taken place just hours before this, you cant help but think that if has to hold a different meaning now.

A light pink dusts your cheeks as you tell Alex that you're going to go to the bathroom. When you get to the bathroom you bring yourself to the counter and look in the mirror. You're going to figure out your feelings for him right now. No more back and forth with yourself. Let's start with the obvious question, do you like Alex romantically? You have found yourself wondering what a relationship with Alex would be like, but never acted on it for the sake of your friendship with him. Would you have done any of the things that you've done with him if you didn't feel some other way towards him? Not really. After all, you’re quite good at establishing boundaries. After all the things that you and Alex have done, have you strayed away from him or shown disinterest? No you haven't. Has he? Absolutely not. So, do you like him back? After sitting with that question in your head for a solid 5 minutes, you came to the conclusion that you did. After coming to the realization that you did like Alex back, you thought that it was obviously time for him to know after you had kept him waiting for so long today. When you came out of the bathroom you saw Alex sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone. You quickly walk past and walk to the kitchen. You pull out the food that you made earlier and start to heat it up. It wasn't anything too fancy, just a simple vodka pasta with some cheese. After it was done heating up, you put some cheese on top and walked over to Alex. He saw you walking over to him and immediately perked up at the sight of a bowl. “Mm whatcha got there, hm?” he said while turning his phone off and putting it down next to him. “Just some food I made earlier that I saved for you because I love you.” You said with a hint of praise in your voice. If he was going to play like this, you were going to play right back. You handed him the bowl and can't help but purposefully brush your hands together while handing it over. Was he blushing right now? “mm this is so good. This is literally one of the many many many reasons that I love you right back.” He said while scarfing the food down like he hasn't eaten in years. “Woah there cowboy slow down. Wouldn't want you choking now.” you said while putting your hands on his chest to signal to him to slow down. When has a little physical touch killed anybody? You felt his heartbeat quicken and his breath hitch. After he finished eating (which was about 5 minutes.) you graciously took his bowl and put it in the sink. You walked back to the living room and found Alex slumped over. It's now or never. You sat next to Alex, and the couch dipped in account of your weight on it. Alex got up and faced you, both of you waiting for the other to talk.

“Alex, you know that I love you with all of my heart right?” you said while taking Alex's hands into yours. “Yeah? Why wouldn't I?" he says with a hint of worry in his voice while rubbing his thumbs over your hands. “Okay, I'm just gonna spit this out because there's literally no way to tiptoe around it: I like you back. The reason that i didnt answer earlier is because i didnt even know that i even did earlier. It wasn't until I went to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago that I even came to the realization that I did.” You said quickly before you could stop yourself. Alex's face goes red. Not pink, red. “Uhm okay a-alot to unpack there, you like me back?” He says with a look of confusion on his face, like he can't even believe the words you were saying. “Yeah, I think I have for a while maybe.” you said while looking down. Before you could gather your thoughts, you felt Alex lift your head up to look at him. Now, staring into his eyes, those gorgeous brown eyes. You glanced down to his lips as you saw that he was doing the same thing. You quickly darted your tongue out to coat your lips in saliva. You and Alex have somehow leaned in closer in the span of 15 seconds. “Tell me to stop if you don't want this.” Alex said before leaning in closer and kissing you. The feeling of his lips on yours was something that you've never felt before. Quickly regaining consciousness, you kissed him back just as eagerly. Your lips slotting together like they belonged on his lips all along, not your ex boyfriends. You brought your hands up to his neck and interlaced your hands into his hair. You both pulled back panting, needing air. His lips were puffy and red, and so were yours. That kiss wasn't one that you would just easily forget. It wasn't like the kisses you and Alex had shared while drunk, or kisses you guys got dared to do. No, this one was different. It was loving, passionate, caring, adoring, sweet. After catching your breath, you decided to ask the age old question: “Well, what are we now Alex?" you said while looking into his eyes as if they held the answer. “We can be whatever you want, baby.” He said while tracing shapes into your back with his fingers. “Okay then I wanna be together.” You say before you could regret it. “Okay then we’re something.” Alex says while pulling you in again.