#bae2020

“He’s finally done it,” Chanyeol moans balefully into his folded arms, nose squashed against a stack of receipts below him as he splays flat on the front desk. That’s how Minseok finds him as he walks in to start the shift.

“What?”

Chanyeol doesn’t raise his head. “Baekhyun,” he mumbles by way of answer instead. Minseok will get it. And anyway his whole body feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. Or is that just his heart?

Minseok gently elbows past him as he enters the far-too-tiny space the games arcade allocates them to serve prizes from. “You can’t say I didn’t tell you to move your ass faster. Baekhyun is hot as fuck and in no known universe would be just sit around waiting forever for you to grow some balls and stop mooning over him like a lost puppy.”

“Three years isn’t forever,” Chanyeol grouses, feeling the sting in Minseok’s overly-sensible words.

“Might as well be.” Bending down, Minseok fishes their master keys out of the safe behind the counter and squeezes back past to start up the power box for the machines squashed onto the arcade floor before they officially open for the afternoon, kindly patting Chanyeol’s shoulder as he moves. “No one waits forever.”

Chanyeol pouts, unseen. It makes his bottom lip stick to a piece of waxy receipt paper and he spits it back off, finally straightening up. “I was just waiting for the right time.”

“Remind me again what century that was going to be in?”

“Don’t mock my pain. I’m hurting.” Chanyeol tosses the ruined paper into the nearest bin and hits the switches for the counter, lighting up the glass cases below the counter top and the ones behind him displaying all the prizes on offer ranging from dollar squishy balls on strings (that Kyungsoo for some daft reason adores and Jongin blows most of his measly wages on for him despite the fact that if he saved up his tickets he’d probably be able to buy their highest tier prize now) to PlayStations and iPhones gathering dust that almost no one ever gets the chance to claim. Chanyeol eyes his sad reflection in the glass. “I just… I wanted to find the right words. Wanted it to be perfect.”

Three years. Three years of scribbled confessions and sappy poems all torn up, of half-finished chords on his guitar notebook because no matter how much Chanyeol was head over heels for his college classmate he could never find the right way to ask him out. His best friend was perfect; Chanyeol knows he deserves the best in return.

Only Chanyeol’s best never seemed (at least in his own mind) to be good enough. Not for Byun Baekhyun; beloved by college students and teachers alike, quick-witted and blindingly kind. And the absolute crush of Chanyeol’s life since the fateful night they’d been freshmen and at their first really big party.

* * *

Seven Minutes In Heaven had seemed like a great drinking game at the time, plastered as they all were. And just like that… Chanyeol’s heart had been decided on the spin of a dirty beer bottle against the bedroom carpet of a frat house.

Baekhyun had glanced up in surprise when Chanyeol’s wobbly turn had landed squarely on him, sorely disappointing both the girls plastered to each side of Baekhyun who had been leaning close enough to try and skew the result into pointing at one of them instead.

But that beautiful wide-eyed look had changed to one of Baekhyun’s usual flashy grins and he’d immediately stood up, hauling Chanyeol’s far larger frame to his feet as they both staggered to the wardrobe nearby to the chorus of hoots and squeals behind them.

The breath had left Chanyeol’s lungs in a rush he still remembers vividly to this day as he’d been pushed into the soft space made between the coats and leather jackets, Baekhyun’s shaky exhale making his knees weak.

“God, you’re so big,” Baekhyun had giggled, tipsy, taking hold of Chanyeol’s hands and threading his slender digits through them in the semi-dark for comparison. “I love it.”

Chanyeol had thrilled from head to toe at the difference in their sizes too and had pushed forward, caging Baekhyun gently in using his bulk.

“Yeah?” he had murmured. “I’m big all over. Strong too.” To his vodka-soaked mind it had seemed a smooth line, even if Chanyeol cringed a little after the words had left his mouth. But to his great surprise it had resulted in a small whine from Baekhyun, which more than made Chanyeol half-hard. Jesus.

Baekhyun’s hands had slipped from his own and fumbled to pull him closer to get to the part they were supposed to be in here for according to the game; seven minutes of making out and some awesome heavy petting.

Baekhyun’s mouth had been wet and enthusiastic against his own, both of them sloppy drunk and just shy of desperate because Chanyeol had been eyeing Baekhyun off since day one and had seen the glances in return when the other thought he had been subtle. And now they had an excuse which Chanyeol was determined not to waste. He covered Baekhyun, loving how much smaller he felt, how seemingly powerless and delicate… until Baekhyun had torn his mouth away to lap at Chanyeol’s neck, nuzzling up under his pulse point like a cat—

“Hold my wrists,” Baekhyun had whispered against Chanyeol’s hot skin, almost indecipherable. “God, please. Just-”

And Chanyeol had obliged without thinking; wrapping up the slim circumferences in his palms, fingers easily overlapping against the tiny bones inside to lift and pin them firmly up above Baekhyun’s head, using just enough pressure to push through the final jackets and find the hard wood behind.

Baekhyun had melted at that like a switch being flicked, going utterly limp and pliant under Chanyeol as he moaned, lifting his head like if he didn’t have a kiss to go along with that hard pressure he might just die.

And Chanyeol, strung out and dizzy from that reaction had obliged him, licking Baekhyun’s lips apart and coaxing his tongue out to play. Baekhyun instantly let Chanyeol control the kiss, the pace, how much of Baekhyun’s tongue he sucked on… everything. He pushed against every inch of Chanyeol he could find, challenging the hold without really any force, rubbing and letting out tiny breathless sounds on each exhale that sounded so dirty in the small space.

Chanyeol may not have known at the time what this had meant but he knew he liked it. Liked the idea of Baekhyun; beautiful, light-struck, sharp Baekhyun rendered boneless because Chanyeol had easily given him something he had asked for. It had been so simple yet had provoked such a fucking reaction. A sparking ember. Chanyeol’s awareness of the outside world had been lost, pinpointed down to only Baekhyun and how desperately he seemed to enjoy this.

When Chanyeol had bitten down on Baekhyun’s slick, swollen bottom lip and squeezed tighter around his careful handhold, Baekhyun had cried out, hoisted a frantic leg about Chanyeol’s hip to anchor him as he jerked, shuddered and… he fucking came.

The shockingly intimate feeling of that warm wetness against his upper thigh had made Chanyeol come hard and completely untouched in his jeans in a way he hadn’t since he was thirteen and really learning all the neat tricks his dick could manage if he tried just hard enough.

But the most amazing thing was the moment Chanyeol released his careful grip and brought Baekhyun’s hands back down. Baekhyun had sagged against Chanyeol’s chest, curled and panting, nuzzling faintly for thirty seconds. It had filled Chanyeol with the strongest urge he had ever felt. The boy in his arms was the absolute centre of his whole world for that half a minute and Chanyeol still remembered the raw knowledge that if anyone had dared open the door to say they had taken too long Chanyeol would have actually snarled at them. He was… he had felt protective of the small bundle against his chest, the ember inside him burning hot. He had to take care of Baekhyun, watch over him while he recovered. It seemed… right.

But in what had felt like a flash Baekhyun had finally collected himself, swept back his hair and slipped out of the wardrobe.

Chanyeol never forgot those seven minutes. Nor the days that followed where Baekhyun seemed to act like nothing had happened, confusing and paining Chanyeol silently until he could no longer stand the vague avoidance around the campus by someone who had always been so damn nice to him before and decisively sought the other boy out by the cafeteria; one of the rare moments Baekhyun was ever alone.

The look of mild panic that had flashed briefly on Baekhyun’s face when Chanyeol had finally approached him was enough to give him pause – even if it lasted less than a second before Baekhyun had offered him a quiet, shy smile. But that had been enough for Chanyeol to enter damage control mode, plaster on his biggest, goofiest smile and had ask Baekhyun if he wanted to play Counterstrike GO with both him and Kyungsoo that coming weekend. Neutral. Friendly.

And the sheer relief on Baekhyun’s face at that offer had both broken Chanyeol’s heart a little and made him resolutely promise himself never to talk about what had happened. Because Baekhyun obviously didn’t seem to want to.

Everything went back to normal after that. They had too much in common not to end up friends, laughing until they ached in each other’s dorms way into the early hours, shoving each other off the couch to win at Mario Party and pulling pranks on Sehun who seemed to fall for every stupid joke on the planet (likely for the snacks his hyungs brought him in apology afterwards, Kyungsoo concluded sagely one night when they were all stargazing).

Friends. The best of.

Because Chanyeol had made up his mind; despite the scribbled notes that never saw the light of day or the lyrics he practiced in the dark, he would be happy with just this. He had Baekhyun in his life and wouldn’t ruin it by pushing carelessly. Yet Chanyeol had never stopped catching the tiny glances his way when Baekhyun thought he was too busy flailing because of a dirty joke or when Chanyeol ducked in to borrow some milk after the gym in his workout singlet and shorts to notice, because as lovesick as Chanyeol tried not to be… it turned out Baekhyun had never quite stopped being subtle either.

It messed with his head but Chanyeol had eventually became used to it; silently nursing his crush while being incredibly thankful for having such a good friend.

It was… a little confusing. Until abruptly one day it wasn’t - and it had been quiet, thoughtful Kyungsoo of all people who had dropped the bomb. Because how had the others not figured it out already?

Baekhyun was into BDSM.

* * *

You just needed someone to put you in your rightful place, didn’t you?

…Oh yeah. You’re a right proper submissive pussy for me, hmm? A pale little piggy just waiting to be carved up into delicious pieces. Look at you, perfectly grovelling for my attention just like you’re supposed to.

…No you don’t get to stop. I decide that. That’s my right as your dominant.I control you. I think for you so that pretty, submissive little head of yours doesn’t have a say. Yeah. That’s right.

…What? Oh no angel, no; limits are only for subs who have a dominant that can’t control themselves. You know that right? Shhh no, you don’t need to tell me any of yours either, I’ll know them just from looking at you. You just gotta kneel there and suck my cock all nice like that whenever I want. And don’t forget to call me Master.

* * *

Chanyeol is broken out of his melancholy memory by the back staff door opening; in a quick, fumbled shuffle he attempts to look busy, scooping up the receipt pile and thumbing through it.

“Relax, it’s just me.”

Chanyeol’s shoulders un-clench at Kyungsoo’s voice. “So you know, huh?”

Kyungsoo snorts. Of course he does Chanyeol grouses; Kyungsoo has been Baekhyun’s roommate since they were assigned dorms. There’s not much the two don’t discuss (which will never not be funny since you couldn’t find two people with less than similar personalities, but Chanyeol knows they have at least one… mutual interest). He scowls down at the paper.

“You’re going to explode like one of those angry birds if you don’t let out some of that stress.” Kyungsoo walks up to the counter. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re reading the receipts upside down.”

Chanyeol lets the pile drop with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I can be a grown-up about this, I really can. I just wasn’t expecting…”

“Baekhyun to find a boyfriend?”

Chanyeol tracks Minseok locking the power box back up and moving to open the front doors into the rest of the mall, not really seeing anything. “For Baekhyun to find a dominant,” he murmurs.

Kyungsoo looks torn. “I know how much you like him. We all do. We’d have to be blind not to. But you’re not into the scene like Baekhyun seems to be. He’s really made up his mind in the last few months and he seems to want…” Kyungsoo pauses, one hand coming up to rub absently against the loose necklace he wears; a very special gift from Jongin (Chanyeol knows that much). “He needs more than vanilla.”

Chanyeol slumps. “I know. I just wish-”

The back door opens again, almost silently; Baekhyun’s smaller footsteps fill the empty arcade. Chanyeol’s eyes flick hurriedly to Kyungsoo and his friend instantly takes pity.

“Minseok and Baekhyun can take the first half an hour, it’ll be dead anyway. Come with me while I get some milk tea?”

Chanyeol feels very much like a coward as he ducks out of the counter as Baekhyun approaches. He despises that feeling.

* * *

Fuck. Just like that. Love how hard you cry whenever I do this, all twisted up and bound. Yeah. See how fucking priceless your skin looks with my marks on them—what? No of course not. I told you. Limits are only for pathetic doms; you won’t need one with me. So just trust me and do what I want. That’s what you’re supposed to do.

…My dumb, darling angel wears all my marks like a true pain whore. Such a well behaved piggy for his true master. You know you’ve proven to me in the last week I can collar you whenever I want now. I like quick learners.

…Don’t stand up, did I tell you to? No. So sit your ass back down like a good pet. Let me go get you your gift so you can thank me. That last stupid bitch left it in the playroom so stay here until I get back.

* * *

Chanyeol can’t hide forever so he eventually lets Kyungsoo lead him back to the arcade (to the shift he’s actually supposed to be working, his mind reminds him) after they loiter for as long as is probably socially acceptable around the food court. Kyungsoo had patiently used up the time to explain that something like this was ultimately Baekhyun’s choice as an adult and Chanyeol agreed without question that he should be happy for him as best he could. He would. He would…

It turns out to be a whole lot easier in theory than practice.

Chanyeol’s eyes land on Baekhyun behind the counter the moment they walk back in and he nearly trips over his own feet. He thinks he feels Kyungsoo stiffen beside him for half a second before he walks over to Baekhyun to give him a hearty thump on the back in greeting. Chanyeol trails after like a small puppy.

Baekhyun lights up like a bulb the moment he spots Chanyeol. He gives a small wave and a grin which Chanyeol forces himself to return. It feels as awkward as Toothless smiling in the stupid Pixar movie they all watched last weekend.

Because Baekhyun is wearing a thick, heavy collar around his neck.

Chanyeol tries very hard not to stare, but he can’t help being drawn to the area of skin below the garish item; there’s long, finger-sized bruises there. They poke out from underneath the nape of Baekhyun’s thin work shirt and extend up under the collar. Almost hidden but not quite. One already looks a sickening mix of purple and yellow. Chanyeol swallows.

Baekhyun beckons him over. “Chanyeollie! I just need to refill the vending machines, the drinks one is empty again. Can you watch the counter for a second?”

Considering Chanyeol hasn’t been watching the counter at all yet since they opened it’s the least he can do. He nods, swallowing. “Sure. And uh…” he waves weakly at the cracked leather around Baekhyun’s throat. “Congratulations?”

Something odd flashes across Baekhyun’s eyes, too quick to catch but in the next second he beams, lifting one shoulder towards his ear in the cutest half-shrug. “It’s only early stages yet but he’s… he seems really experienced. He wanted me to wear this.”

Chanyeol thinks that addendum was fairly obvious anyway. He feels something stir in his stomach looking at the collar. Pushing past Baekhyun into the counter’s small back space keeps his expression hidden but he knows how small his voice sounds. “That’s uh, great.” Marshalling his willpower to be a grown up despite his aching heart,  Chanyeol turns around and faces him properly. “I’m really happy for you-”

Caught, Baekhyun’s eyes quickly flick away from where they’ve been watching Chanyeol’s lowered face and he gives a much smaller smile. “Um. Thanks. Thank you Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol can’t read his voice any more than he can read Baekhyun’s eyes but a promise is a promise. So Chanyeol glances one more time at the bruises and remembers: Baekhyun’s choice. And he tries another friendly smile. This one sits a fraction better than the last.

“Go fill up the machine. I got this.”

* * *

The shift is a little akin to slow torture for Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo drives them all home at the end that evening, stopping by to grab pizza for the group on the way. Chanyeol watches him pull into the college carpark, hand over the three boxes, tell Baekhyun he’ll see him up at their room in ten minutes and after a quick, pointed look from Kyungsoo, Chanyeol does the same with Minseok.

In thick silence Kyungsoo gently rolls his car into their approved parking spot on the campus lot once they’re alone. He cuts the engine and removes his keys when they’re in place. “Spill.”

“Huh?”

“I can see it on your face. What do you want to talk about?”

Chanyeol fidgets. “Am I that obvious?”

“Trust me, never play poker. You’d lose every hand.”

That actually makes Chanyeol huff a laugh. “Thanks.” He scrubs a fist through his hair and lets out all the air in his lungs on a long, slow exhale. “I just… I want to know if Baekhyun is okay.”

“In what way?”

Chanyeol shifts, feeling the seat-belt dig into his hip. He unclasps it just for something to do, feeling it whizz back through his hand. “You saw the bruises too, didn’t you? On his neck.”

Kyungsoo shuffles around to face Chanyeol. “Some submissives like bruises,” he replies, voice soft and steady. “They’re a lot more common than you think. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s in danger.”

The thought makes Chanyeol wince. “Yeah, I—I just didn’t like seeing it I guess.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes narrow. “Because they were bruises or because the bruises were on Baekhyun from someone else?”

That’s far too perceptive for Chanyeol to answer honestly. “I don’t know what that means,” he hedges. “I… and the collar thing. It looked like he fished it out of a second-hand dumpster bin.”

Beside him, Kyungsoo makes a thoughtful sound. “That part did strike me as odd. He’s only dated the guy for a week or two and…” Kyungsoo trails off with a hum. “It’s not my place to say I guess.”

“What? Please tell me. I know you and Jongin know a shit ton more about this stuff than I do and if something is wrong I’d-”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Everyone is different,” he says. “All dominants and submissives are unique. It’s just… it’s awfully quick, that’s all.”

“What? The bruises or the collar?”

“The collar. It’s not…” Kyungsoo’s hand drifts up to the necklace. “It’s not a cracker box ring to give out to everyone you like,” he finishes. “It’s important. Like a promise.”

Chanyeol goes still. “The kind you can’t really make after only knowing someone for a couple of weeks?”

Kyungsoo looks thoughtful. He drops his hand back into his lap and reaches for the door handle. “I’ll speak to Baekhyun about it if you like. Or have Jongin do it. That may be better.” Kyungsoo steps out.

“Since he’s a dominant?” Chanyeol calls after him. Kyungsoo leans back down into the space of the open door and levels him with a flat look.

“Yes. Thank you for informing the whole campus. Now we’d better head up before they eat our shares of the pizza. Come on.”

Chanyeol scrambles to comply. “Sorry for bugging you with these kind of things.”

“It’s what friends are for.” Kyungsoo nudges his forearm with one shoulder as they fall into step. “I learned everything from Jongin after all. That’s how this kind of a lifestyle ends up with more participants: education.” The main double glass doors to the dorms require a college ID card so Kyungsoo flashes his across the scanner. “You one day learn enough to discover that the things you like fall under a different banner than vanilla.”

“BDSM.” Chanyeol ducks inside after Kyungsoo and the rest of the distance towards the elevators is crossed in thoughtful silence. The whole rise to the upper floors all Chanyeol can see in his head is Baekhyun’s perfect pair of wrists tucked underneath his hands one night many years ago. How right he’d felt cradled against Chanyeol’s chest afterwards for far too little time. How… protected.

But Chanyeol is pretty sure softness and cuddling doesn’t have any place under the BDSM umbrella so he’s always known his likes didn’t fit. Known that he couldn’t ever be what Baekhyun needed. That’s what hurt the most. Baekhyun was kinky and Chanyeol… apparently was not.

* * *

“Why do you have a necklace?” Chanyeol asks quietly as he lies upside down on the couch, his head dangling off next to Kyungsoo’s as he sits on the floor later that evening. “You know, isn’t it supposed to be like Baekhyun’s? That’s what’s in the porn.”

Kyungsoo scowls, flicking a glance to Minseok and Baekhyun who are dumping the empty dishes in Chanyeol’s small kitchenette, their resident neatness-fairy making sure everything is washed properly and stacked instead of left gathering mould like in every other dorm room in the world. “Life isn’t like porn, even you know that.”

Chanyeol sighs, giving Kyungsoo the most pleading eyes he can while inverted. “Indulge me?”

Kyungsoo rests back against the base of the couch and draws his legs up, slinging a sweater-clothed arm around the knees. “I liked this better,” he finally replies softly. “Constrictive things make me too hot and I don’t sleep in pants, let alone leather.”

Chanyeol snorts, smacking him with the back of one hand. “Too much information.”

“Hey you asked!” Kyungsoo catches the flailing hand and pushes it away. Chanyeol lets him toss it back onto his chest and gives a thoughtful hum.

“I guess I never figured that kind of thought went into sex toys.”

A smaller hand shoots out and pinches his ear.

“Ow!”

Kyungsoo snorts. “Keep your voice down. And it’s not a sex toy. It’s a symbol for those who know what they’re looking for. And sometimes for just the wearer and their partner to know about if they happen to want it that way.” Kyungsoo wiggles the cartilage in his grip before dropping his fingers. “If you’re so full of questions you could always google it?”

“Google brings up badly-lit porn and message boards full of kids in bunny ear filters asking for daddies.” Chanyeol pulls himself upright with a groan and flips over to stand up. “I’m not into that sort of stuff.”

Kyungsoo smirks. “Maybe you’re just not looking in the right places.”

Chanyeol desperately wants to know more about that but in the next second their already-crowded floor space has another two bodies added to it as Baekhyun and Minseok tumble in. Baekhyun throws an arm around Kyungsoo and attempts to pull him to his feet and guide him out to their own room next door. “My fingers are pruney from the water!”

Chanyeol smiles fondly, watching Baekhyun nearly smoosh his hand into Kyungsoo’s face to show him his fingertips. Kyungsoo is in the process of standing and swatting his hand away when Chanyeol’s eyes drop to the collar that Baekhyun has yet to take off all day. The skin where it meets the material is rubbed pink from the pressure.

Chanyeol swallows, only raising his eyes again when he realises Baekhyun hasn’t moved towards the door.

Baekhyun quickly drops his gaze, flicking it instead to Kyungsoo as he tightens his arm and proceeds to move again. “Thanks for the pizza guys! Our shout next week! And I’ll see you both…” he pulls up next to the front door where Chanyeol has a scribbled schedule with all their arcade shifts taped to the side of a closet and squints. “Day after tomorrow.”

Minseok lets the pair out the front door. “If you two are heading out tomorrow night remember it’s an early start Monday so take it easy please.”

Something pings in Chanyeol’s gut. Baekhyun is a homebody; gaming, movies and food are his idea of a good time. It’s almost impossible to get him out anywhere without cajoling. And Chanyeol now knows there’s only one thing that happens on a Sunday night that Baekhyun would go out for.

The club. The… dungeon thingy. The place he’d started to frequent at the beginning of the month, Baekhyun had told them all with a shy scuff of his foot. Peasedon’tjudgeme. I just… I think it’s time.

The place he found his boyfriend, apparently.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, cracking Chanyeol out of his reverie.

“Not for me. Jongin is coming over so we’re going to have a movie night. You guys are welcome if you want though. Jongin should be done with his revision by about eight so any time after that is good.”

God it sounds so normal for a pair of guys that Chanyeol knows is an established kinky couple. How does that fit? His eyes slide over to Baekhyun as the other boy unlocks their next-door dorm room with a small shrug.

“I’ll be probably heading out. But I’ll still be in bright and early for work, promise.”

Minseok gives a faint laugh. “And hell will freeze over the day that happens.” He turns to head back inside with a small wave as Baekhyun pushes the door open for Kyungsoo to brush past him. Chanyeol’s chest tightens.

“Hey-” he manages as Baekhyun is about to step in after a vanished Kyungsoo. It comes out as a croak.

Baekhyun looks up, eyes impossibly beautiful. (How does one set of eyes manage to catch every light in the hall?) “Yeah?” he asks softly.

Chanyeol shuffles on the spot, feeling too long-limbed, too awkward, too not kinky with how much he wants to tuck Baekhyun under his wing and rub those bruises with the arnica cream he always has in the bathroom for when he inevitably bangs his shins at basketball.  “Please ah, you know...”

Baekhyun takes a half-step towards Chanyeol then catches himself. “Please what?”

Don’t go. Don’t let someone give you bruises they don’t treat afterwards, even if you like them. Don’t date someone else.

The words die in Chanyeol’s throat. “Please be careful,” he squeezes out, turning away and hurriedly shutting the door behind himself.

Too hurriedly to catch the sad, longing look Baekhyun gives him.

* * *

…You like it don’t you? I can tell. Look at all that snot and tears. Always remember I caused it. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Who’s mine to use? Yeah, you are.

…No don’t gag. Come on now. A real submissive knows how to take his master’s dick all the way so we’re now going to have to practice. I’m going to hold your nose—no don’t you dare squirm away. Do you want to be a true submissive to a real dominant or not? Then get back here so I can teach you piggy. That’s it, good boy.

…For such a pretty slut you sure do have a knack for pissing me off. No I don’t care about last week, this is a new lesson, a new day. Fresh start. Didn’t you agree to this from the first night we met? To learn from me? Yeah, exactly. So stop the nit-picking and know your place.

* * *

It’s actually Chanyeol who ends up late to work on Monday.

The look from Kyungsoo is enough to make him wince as he fumbles through the door, yanking his stupid dark blue over shirt into place.

“Sorry! Sorry sorry.” Chanyeol plonks an apology latte on the counter top, nearly sloshing the contents out the top of the lid’s little sippy hole. “Slept through my alarm.”

Kyungsoo picks up the latte and takes a long, fondly judgemental sip. “Mm-hmm. You know Minseok should have just said you had a rebound booty call or something if you’re going to give me that excuse.”

“What?” Chanyeol shoves both hands through his hair, peering into the toy cases behind Kyungsoo to see if he’s presentable enough. “I didn’t. It’s the truth.”

And it’s the absolute truth. What Chanyeol doesn’t mention though is the reason it’s the truth is because he spent all of the night prior waiting for the sound of the jiggling lock to signal that Baekhyun had come home next door safely. It had been six am before Chanyeol had finally heard it, feeling like the worst kind of friend even as he sighed in relief.

So yes, technically he had slept through his alarm. Which had gone off less than an hour later. (When Chanyeol was too exhausted to hear it.)

Kyungsoo looks at him for a moment longer before nodding. “Okay. It’s cool. It hasn’t been busy yet. School holidays don’t technically start until the end of the week so I survived…” A dramatic sweep of his arm takes in the mostly-empty arcade at this early hour. “Somehow.”

“Oh if that’s the case then I take this back-” Chanyeol fakes a lunge towards Kyungsoo’s cup. He’s in the middle of being fended off by a palm squarely pressed into his forehead when he hears a soft voice.

“Why are you terrorising my boyfriend?”

Chanyeol turns his head sideways, arms still outstretched. “I spent a whole five dollars on this ass.”

Jongin smiles, sinking his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. “Well I can pretty much assure you his ass is worth more than that.”

Kyungsoo drops his defence. “Hey.”

“What?” Jongin shrugs, smiling. “I see it every week don’t I?”

“Please shut up.”

Chanyeol snatches the unguarded coffee cup triumphantly. “Shouldn’t you -I don’t know- spank him for talking to you like that?”

Kyungsoo holds out a hand, fingers wiggling until Chanyeol takes a sip and dutifully hands his gift back. Jongin wanders over until he can lean a hip against their countertop.

“He can talk to me any way he likes. There’s no rule against that.”

Chanyeol frowns, confused. “Yeah but…” He waves a hand between them both. “You know.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes roll above the lid of the cup. “We’re into big bad things,” he stage-whispers to Jongin who is still looking confused. “He thinks I should bend over for you at every opportunity.”

Jongin laughs so hard he slides off the counter top. “What?” he manages, almost in a squatting position as he catches his breath. “What gave you that idea?”

Chanyeol’s arms come up to cross defensively. “Kyungsoo just told you,” he replies in pout. One small hand not holding the coffee cup reaches out to pat him on the shoulder.

“Just because we do certain things behind closed doors doesn’t mean we’re into the dynamic twenty-four-seven.” Kyungsoo says kindly.

Jongin still thinks this is hilarious so Chanyeol plucks a stray squeaky ball from behind the counter and beans him with it. “What else was I supposed to think?”

Jongin finally plops properly onto his butt and looks up at Chanyeol with cheeks pink from laughing. “You could have just asked.”

That makes heat rise into Chanyeol’s ears. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean to presume. I just…”

Kyungsoo dangles a rubber snake over the counter and Jongin uses it to haul himself up properly. He’s still giggling.

“We should never have taken you to see Fifty Shades. I’m so sorry we did. It was such a crock of shit.”

The heat crawls from Chanyeol’s ears into his cheeks. “No it’s okay. It was…” he still remembers that night; remembers how Baekhyun squirmed eagerly in his seat beside him the whole time, unable to keep still as the scenes got hot and heavy. “Good.”

Kyungsoo makes a rude sound. “No. It really wasn’t.”

Chanyeol cocks his head but he has to slip around behind the counter and move along to take the handful of tickets a mother and her daughter are holding out as they approach; he does a quick count and offers the little girl a choice of a stuffed animal or a light-up plastic ring. She takes the ring and Chanyeol scoots quickly back to the other two.

“Why?”

Jongin is busy making googly eyes at Kyungsoo from the outside of the counter top, chin in his hand. “Hmm? Why what?”

“Why was the movie so bad? Didn’t it follow the book?” Chanyeol hadn’t really read the phenomenon but had agreed to come along to the screening of the movie because Baekhyun had seemed so eager and Jongin and Kyungsoo were reluctantly willing to give it a go. The couple had spent the entire thing whispering behind their hands and shaking their heads.

“Oh no it followed the book,” Jongin replies, watching Kyungsoo drift over to serve a knot of young boys who have approached and are each jostling to try and hand over their pile first.  “They’re both just trash.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol tries to think back to the film’s plot; to be honest he’d been paying more attention to Baekhyun’s breathless reaction than the screen. Even if Chanyeol hadn’t particularly cared for the whole lock-in contract bit and the heavy pain scenes or how overbearing the main character had seemed. Maybe he just fundamentally didn’t understand kink after all… “It seemed to have all the hot stuff in it?”

Jongin pulls a face so hard Chanyeol thinks he might strain something. “If you were a lonely housewife who can’t tell the difference between a flogger and a whip then I’m sure it looked that way. That was the intended audience after all. Basically anyone who participates in the actual lifestyle condemned it.”

Chanyeol is suddenly struck by the memory of how fast Jongin and Kyungsoo had left the cinema after the movie has finished and even declined Baekhyun’s suggestion of late-night ice cream for the group. They’d seemed itchy and eager to get home, mentioning showers. Chanyeol had absently put it down to the pair of them wanting to blow off some BDSM-themed steam of their own after such an inspiring film, but now…

“So you’re saying …” Chanyeol hedges, unable to find the right words. “That actual kink is something else.”

Kyungsoo wanders back and overhears that last bit. He offers Chanyeol’s confused expression a soft look. “Kink can be almost anything you want it to be. What mainstream media shows is only  a fraction of it; the physical part which everyone automatically thinks of when they hear the word kink.”

That… makes zero sense. Chanyeol goes to ask really basic things like how and why and please just be straight with me, I know there’s whips and chains involved when Jongin looks over his shoulder and breaks away, weaving between the neon blinking machines to greet Baekhyun who has emerged from the storeroom carrying a bright yellow safety step against his chest.

Chanyeol shuts up. Kyungsoo slurps the last of his coffee and squeezes Chanyeol’s shoulder as he bins the empty item and goes to serve a couple more straggling customers.

The collar is still wrapped around Baekhyun’s throat. Chanyeol busies himself checking the register and eftpos totals from the night before; it’s easier than looking at Baekhyun as his mind turns over what the other two said.

So if porn and arguably the most famous BDSM movie in the world wasn’t all of what kink was… then what was it?

* * *

Chanyeol finds himself pondering his new question for the rest of the morning, only stopping when Jongin (who disappears into the arcade’s depths for at least an hour and returns with an armful of tickets to exchange for squishy balls) pulls Kyungsoo out for his lunch hour, covered by Minseok’s arrival for the afternoon shift.

Puttering around with Minseok helps keep Chanyeol’s mind off things. He doesn’t even mind when a surly teenager tells him he really needs to pee badly but the fucking men’s room is chocked open and could Chanyeol maybe sort it so he doesn’t have to head out into the mall? Chanyeol just smiles and goes to see what on earth the problem is.

The problem as it turns out is Baekhyun, balancing precariously on a short ladder; the yellow safety step Chanyeol had seen him with earlier discarded as apparently having been too low. He’s also probably violating every health and safety code none of them really bothered to read by balancing with his other foot on the sink benchtop as he stretches for what Chanyeol assumes is the broken light bulb on the ceiling.

“Baekhyun!”

The ladder wobbles dangerously. “Chanyeol!” Baekhyun parrots him like the adorable little shit he is. “Just the person I need. I can’t…” he gains another half an inch by raising onto his tiptoes. “Reach, goddammit.”

Chanyeol waves away the annoyed teen behind him with an apologetic look and kicks away the block Baekhyun had used to prop the door open, stepping inside and letting it swing closed behind him. “Hang on, hang on. Don’t reach any more you’ll overbalan-”

Chanyeol has no time to finish because Baekhyun overextends too far, his braced foot slipping off the counter top. With a terrified yelp he tumbles and Chanyeol… he nearly pulls every muscle in his body lunging forward to catch Baekhyun before he cracks his head open on the sink…

Catching Baekhyun under his arms is both awkward and strangely soft; the other boy lands flailingly against Chanyeol’s chest with an ungainly ‘oof’.

Chanyeol looks up. His heart skips a beat.

“Baek…”

Baekhyun groans, face smooshed against Chanyeol’s collarbone. “Yeah?”

Chanyeol swallows; where he’s slung his arms around Baekhyun the always-too-loose work shirt has risen up, exposing the length of Baekhyun’s delicate back to the mirror. “What happened?”

“Hm?” Baekhyun inhales against Chanyeol’s skin, letting his face rest for a moment longer than Chanyeol had dared hope. It’s almost like he’s—is he snuggling?

But in the space between breaths Baekhyun jerks away. Spinning, he grabs the back of his shirt and tugs it down, face aflame. “It’s nothing.”

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol’s voice is low. “You’re bruised.”

And not just the faint memory of a handprint Chanyeol had seen that still peeks out from the collar; the entire span of Baekhyun’s back is littered with bruises. Everything from the softness of his kidneys up the length of his spine as far as Chanyeol had seen was split and inflamed.

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest. Protective. Defensive. “It’s nothing.”

“No it’s not.” Worry zings into Chanyeol’s stomach, painful and fierce. He takes a half-step towards Baekhyun. “You’re hurt. Let me get the cream from the first aid kit. Minseok has the key, I’ll-”

“Don’t bother.”

Chanyeol freezes as Baekhyun hunches into himself. “What?”

Turning away Baekhyun lifts one shoulder. “They’re from playing. You wouldn’t understand.”

But Chanyeol has played basketball since he was a teen and if there’s one thing he knows it’s that the vital organs of the body should never be impacted if it can be helped.

“You don’t play any sport…” Chanyeol replies quietly. Testing. Because if Baekhyun means what Chanyeol thinks he means then-

“Don’t play dumb Yeollie,” Baekhyun replies quietly, seeming to shrink further into his personal cage of limbs. “It’s part of my new life.”

Chanyeol swallows past what feels like broken glass. “They’re your kidneys. Your spine! You can’t just be messing around with hitting those things, it’s not safe-”

Baekhyun whirls, vice cracking on the highest point. “Well my boyfriend says it is!”

Chanyeol halts in his tracks. “Your boyfriend. Your… dominant. Who did this to you.”

Baekhyun puffs himself up, looking like an angry, injured pigeon. “Not that it’s any of your business but that’s what he likes.”

There’s glass in his throat and under his feet and Chanyeol doesn’t know where to tread. Which step will shatter everything. But he can’t not try. “But… is that what you like?”

Baekhyun’s eyes narrow. “I like being hit. Bruises. Spanked. I told him that.”

“But that area-”

“-is none of your business!” Baekhyun cuts in. He looks almost shocked by how angry he’s become and wavers for a second, arms finally falling away. “None of me is your business,” Baekhyun finishes softly. Dropping his eyes to the floor he tips from side to side in a faint, unconscious sway that looks almost like a hesitation. Like words unsaid.

Chanyeol’s heart squeezes up, climbing his throat in one huge, nervous lump. “Baek, I-”

Baekhyun’s bottom lip is trembling; he sucks it in and bites down, shaking his head. It pops out slick and shiny as Baekhyun takes a breath and Chanyeol’s never felt a pain quite like this.

“I need to go to lunch,” Baekhyun whispers, moving for the door. He waves a hand back at the ladder and speaks into the charged silence of the room, words heavy. “Can you change the bulb? You should have been the one to do it all along.”

None of me is your business.

Chanyeol waits until the door swings closed, until he slams a hand on the lock and sinks back against the metal before he allows himself to cry.

You should have been the one to do it all along.

* * *

Baekhyun doesn’t come back after lunch. He texts Minseok to say he’s not feeling well and has caught an Uber back to the dorms.

Minseok and Kyungsoo both take in Chanyeol’s red-rimmed eyes and being the exemplary friends they are, neither wisely says anything about it. Chanyeol loves them both for it and makes a mental note to stuff their stockings with as much sugar as he can afford in the upcoming holiday season.

It doesn’t stop him from spending the rest of the work shift worrying himself into a knot that he’s royally fucked everything up. Baekhyun has never been angry with him before. They’ve never gone to bed with an argument hanging over their heads.

By the end of the afternoon as the others are closing up Chanyeol has made up his mind. He makes a mad dash to the supermarket past the food court and beelines for the medical isle, scooping up a fresh tube of arnica cream (he’s sure his messy, half-used one would be less than appreciated), a packet of disposable heat packs that adhere to clothing and to top the apology off a bundle of Baekhyun’s favourite moon grapes. Paying for it all sends Chanyeol practically broke until his next meagre pay but he’s lived off just ramen before and he’ll do it again if it means making things up with Baekhyun.

Scrambling back to the others, he makes it just before Kyungsoo locks the front doors. Sliding past he receives a silent nod and takes that as much endorsement as he’s going to get that he’s not about to make things worse. Surprise presents are their group’s go-to gift for all occasions.

He arranges the collection into a present-shaped bundle in their plastic bag and sticky-tapes it closed, clutching it carefully in his lap the whole drive home.

Baekhyun doesn’t answer the door when Chanyeol knocks. He waits for almost half an hour then leaves the bag on the door handle and slinks into his own room with a heavy heart.

* * *

Kyungsoo messages Chanyeol the next day to say he found the bag and took it inside for Baekhyun. Reading that gives Chanyeol a little bit of comfort… right up until Kyungsoo adds that Baekhyun left late last night with the caveat that he was going to be spending the next few nights at his boyfriend’s place.

Chanyeol feels…

He doesn’t know what he feels. Lost doesn’t describe it. Nor angry. It’s a little like sparking nerves coupled with a boatload of worry for Baekhyun and his safety. But Chanyeol doesn’t even know what to do with that information; Baekhyun is a grown up making his own choices in life and Chanyeol…

Chanyeol wants nothing more than to protect him; to give Baekhyun everything he wants even if it means Chanyeol carefully insures no long lasting injuries and then takes care of him perfectly afterwards. Treats and pampers and-

Because they were bruises or because the bruises were on Baekhyun from someone else?

Chanyeol uncurls from the blanket burrito he’s made himself into since he woke up and sits up in bed. Kyungsoo’s words whirl around his mind and Chanyeol feels his cheeks heat up to realise that maybe yeah, he can compartmentalise his jealousy that another man touched Baekhyun, but not that he did it in a dangerously reckless way.

Chanyeol grabs his phone that’s fallen beside him on the mattress after Kyungsoo messaged.

Jongin picks up after a couple of rings. His day job outside college is at a dance studio so Kyungsoo can hear the ballet music lilting in the background. He knows Jongin is short on time while at work so Chanyeol barrels ahead the moment Jongin says hello.

“I need to ask you something. Do you have a moment where you won’t be overheard?”

Jongin sounds confused. “Sure I guess. Hang on a sec…” There’s the sound of footsteps, a door and then the music is no longer as loud. “Now please tell me why I’m in a costume closet at 9am in the morning?”

Chanyeol exhales. “I know sports injuries. Places that shouldn’t be messed with on the body.”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

“That comes in a bit. But I don’t know BDSM.”

Jongin falls quiet. “Go on.”

“I want Baekhyun to like what he likes. I wouldn’t change him for the world or ever expect him to be anything other than himself.”

“Nice to hear.”

“So I… I want him to have what he wants. What he likes if it makes him happy. But what if I… want to make sure he doesn’t get badly hurt in the process?”

Jongin inhales slowly. “I’d say that’s a good attitude to have. But Baekhyun has a boyfriend. A dominant.”

“I know. But I want to… I want to understand more. And if I do that, then maybe we can talk things over if he gets hurt again and I won’t piss him off. I could help.”

There’s the sound of shuffling, like Jongin is surrounded by heavy fabric. “What do you mean again?”

Chanyeol pauses. “He’s… he’s got some pretty bad bruising. And I know, I know,” he continues before Jongin can correct him. “Kyungsoo told me some submissives love bruises. These were just in places that made me concerned. But Baekhyun swears his dominant is in control.”

“Where exactly?”

“The bruises? Up and down his back. Almost all of it’s damaged.”

Jongin hisses. “You’re kidding me.”

“No. I saw them at work the other day. Did Kyungsoo tell you Baek left work after I…” Chanyeol flops back onto his pillow, wincing at the ceiling. “After I got scared and we had a bit of a fight?”

“Yeah he did mention Baekhyun had disappeared. But he never said anything about bruising to his back.”

“Because I didn’t tell him.” Chanyeol’s eyes close. “It’s not my place. It’s Baekhyun’s business. So I’m determined to do better. Be better. And help him if he ever needs it so in order to do that I kinda need to… learn. The stuff. I know I’m not a dominant but maybe I could be there for him if he needed. As a friend.”

There’s a faint pause on the other end of the line, like Jongin is thinking something over. Chanyeol bites the inside of his cheek, worried. Perhaps he’s done the wrong thing again. Like set his foot somewhere he shouldn’t really be since he’s not really-

“Tell me what you said earlier.”

“Uh. Which bit?”

Jongin’s voice is warm. “The bit about what you want to do for Baekhyun.”

“Um. The imaginary stuff?” Chanyeol feels more than a little stupid, finding himself impossibly glad there’s no one in his room to hear this. “Look out for him, be careful with the stuff he likes so I know he’s being safe, take care of those areas afterwards, treat him nicely. God this is corny. I’m sorry.”

“No, no.” Jongin makes a thoughtful sound. “So you could do what Baekhyun needs if he asked you?”

“He never will but yeah I would. You remember…” Chanyeol can’t believe he’s bringing this up but for once it’s relevant. “You remember the very first frat party we went to when we started here?”

“The night you and Baekhyun got into each other’s pants?”

God Chanyeol’s cheeks are on fire. “Yes, that one. Well he… he asked me to hold him down. Pin his wrists. And so I did and-”

“You liked it?”

“Yeah. But it was only playing around. I didn’t handcuff him or anything and I’d have stopped if he asked.” God, that image. Chanyeol squeezes his legs together under the blankets; Baekhyun bound and spread perfect against a surface, peach-skinned and making those same noises he did that night as Chanyeol makes them happen one more time…

“But you liked being in control. Were okay with it.”

Chanyeol snaps back, clearing his throat. Might as well be honest the whole way. “I liked it with Baekhyun. I liked how he responded. It made me feel like I could make him excited by caging him in and taking the lead.”

“Okay.” Jongin sounds firmer now, less thoughtful and more decided. “What would you say if I told you that those are all a dominant’s duties. Everything you’ve imagined doing.”

Chanyeol actually snorts. “I’d say you were lying. The letters in BDSM doesn’t exactly stand for safety.”

“No,” Jongin replies slowly. “But SSC does. And so does RACK. BDSM isn’t the only acronym we have. And you fit those others like a glove.”

Chanyeol goes very, very still. “What?”

“Safe, Sane and Consensual,” Jongin replies smoothly. “Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Both codes the community lives by. Something you need to always remember when attempting a scene.”

“Wait. So…”

Jongin patiently ticks them off like he’s reciting a list. “Measured strength, self-control, limits, respect, safety, aftercare. Everything you’ve just listed to me. Those are all the building block traits a good dominant needs to have before he or she even thinks about raising a hand to a sub.”

Chanyeol is silent for so long he begins to hear the clock from the kitchen ticking.

Jongin eventually speaks again. “I have to get back to the students before they riot but I think you’ve got a good starting point if you still want to look deeper.”

“Wait, wait.” Still dazed, Chanyeol scrambles for a pen and feels around down on the carpet beside the bed until his hand lands on a pile of yellow post-it notes. “What were those acronyms again?”

Jongin recites them then wishes him a quick goodbye, hanging up as Chanyeol is still staring down at the letters in his lap.

Carefully he peels the tiny page off and kneels up, turning around to stick it to the wall above his bed. Resting back on his heels, Chanyeol studies his ungainly handwriting.

SSC. RACK.

Chanyeol has class to attend to within the hour but when he comes back he now has a starting point. A real one.

But could Jongin be right? Could he really be a…

Chanyeol shakes his head, alone in the silence of his room. Stop that.

This was for Baekhyun’s safety. Nothing more. Even if Chanyeol was by any stretch of the imagination capable of being a dominant… he wasn’t Baekhyun’s.

* * *

Look, have a hit on this joint, it’ll relax you real good I promise. It’s quality stuff… what? Fine. Whatever. Your loss. Lemme just finish it then and we can start.

…Stop moving or you’re going to fucking pass out and I don’t screw corpses. No—jesus christ you’re so dumb sometimes when you want to get off. My dumb little piggy, no wonder I like you. Yeah, just like that, ass up.

* * *

Kyungsoo pokes his head into Chanyeol’s room the following evening. “Hey, want some ramen? My shou…” His voice trails off. “Do you have an exam I don’t know about tomorrow?”

“Ha,” Chanyeol mumbles from his folded over position in what was once a cross-legged stance on his bed, but now one that has his forehead pretzel’d right over touching his laptop. “Can I be excused? My brain is full.”

Kyungsoo’s footsteps slowly approach. “Do I need to ring Sehun for one of his all-nighter red bull recipes? Cause I can. Just be warned, you just might start smelling colours by four am.”

Chanyeol completes the stretch, easing his back up into the proper position. “No, I’m cool. Thank you. I just need to put everything away for the night. I’ve overdosed.”

“Someone call the doc-” Kyungsoo pauses, squinting up behind Chanyeol. “Rules of rope bondage?”

Chanyeol flushes, a hand going to the back of his neck. Turning slowly shows Kyungsoo staring curiously at the multiple rows of post-its now decorating the wall above Chanyeol’s headboard. “I ah, I spoke to Jongin yesterday.”

Kyungsoo’s lips twitch at the corner as he reads another row. “I know. He told me.”

“I just needed a starting point that wasn’t porn. He helped.”

Kyungsoo finishes perusing the notes and then to Chanyeol’s great surprise he moves around and knee-walks onto the bed to perch on the covers, crossing his legs and pulling out his phone. “Tonkotsu or miso?”

“Miso?” Chanyeol replies without thinking. Kyungsoo makes a pleased noise and taps his screen a couple of times, getting comfy.

“Cool. Delivery should be in twenty.”

Chanyeol is a little bewildered but incredibly touched; Kyungsoo rarely hangs out in his room but he’s obviously wanting to chat. So Chanyeol clears his throat.

“Did Jongin tell you he thought I had…”

Kyungsoo pockets his phone and leans back on his hands. “That you’d actually make a very kind dominant if you were so inclined? Yeah he did.”

That makes Chanyeol feel warm for some strange reason. “I guess I just… I wish I was better at all the other stuff. The hardcore side. I seem to be only good at the vanilla stuff and that doesn’t make me a dominant by a long shot.”

Kyungsoo gives Chanyeol a look. “You’re right it doesn’t but you know the ‘vanilla’ stuff as you keep calling it is a vital part right? It wouldn’t exist in its developed form-”

“Aftercare,” Chanyeol cuts in proudly. It makes Kyungsoo smile.

“-yes, that. It wouldn’t exist if not for the activities before it. It’s not just chilling on the couch watching a movie. It’s taking care of your submissive in a way that is specifically tailored to their subdrop needs. There’s nothing vanilla about it when you look at correctly treating a person’s neural comedown session.”

Huh. Okay. Chanyeol can get behind this. He fidgets for a second as a thought occurs to him but he has no polite way of voicing it. Turning the question over in his head makes Kyungsoo snort.

“You have that look on your face. Spit it out.”

Chanyeol squirms. “What… made you like it? In general?”

Kyungsoo drops his gaze and looks away. Chanyeol is already scrambling to apologise -because while all of them are close (and Baekhyun is a chronic over-sharer at the best of times), Kyungsoo and Minseok are probably the two most reserved people amongst their friend group- but Kyungsoo takes a breath and looks back at Chanyeol.

“I wasn’t into the whole kink life a year ago. None of it, actually.”

Chanyeol blinks. “What?”

“And then I met Jongin. He introduced me to it gradually and I found to my great surprise I really liked what he used it on me for. He’s been into the dungeon scene for much longer than me and while I’m still not the biggest fan of public displays…” Kyungsoo laughs deeply; a flash of a heart-shape and scrunched eyes. “You know those squishy balls I love? That was my trade off. I get ready and prettied up because Jongin loves us being all dressed and proudly showing everyone I’m his, but each time we do I get to have a ball the next day. He has to win me one.”

“That’s why he’s forever winning you those things?”

Kyungsoo laughs, nodding through his happy sounds. “Relationships are all about sharing each other’s passions.”

Chanyeol’s palm connects with his face. “Are you two kinky at all?” he whines.

A subtle ding in Kyungsoo’s pocket goes off and Chanyeol knows dinner is near the door. Kyungsoo slides off the bed and removes it for inspection, walking out to greet the driver. He pauses at the door to lean his head back in, eyes still on his screen.

“Kink is more than just the pain. But you see my whip collection.”

Chanyeol nearly falls off the bed.

* * *

…What? You should know that. What’s my creed? Repeat it back to me just like I told you. Exactly. You never ask your master twice, angel hair. Why? Because I know what’s best for you.

…If I thought you needed a safeword I’d have given you one, right? Right. You trust me don’t you? Good little piggy.

…Look there’s band-aids and shit in the bathroom cupboard. And bring that nice little ass back to bed right after so I can wake up with something warm. Yeah...

* * *

Kyungsoo eats dinner in the room with Chanyeol, perched on the end of his bed and being more open than Chanyeol has ever known. He has a feeling Kyungsoo wants to make sure that if Chanyeol is poking his nose into this area of sex that he gets it right.

“So if there’s rules,” Chanyeol asks around a mouthful of udon noodles. “ Then how come everyone has their own way of going about things?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “There are rules in place but there are no laws that say you have to do kink this way. There’s no beginners course -well there kind of is if you go to a dungeon class- but you can quite literally enjoy anything you want that falls under the umbrella. It’s up to you. You like ropes and compression suits and stringing people up by their ankles? You go for it.” At Chanyeol’s horrified face Kyungsoo smiles. “And if you like leaving marks on your partner’s skin and watching them serve you from the floor while they crawl around dripping in wax then that’s valid too.”

Chanyeol scrubs his face with the hand not engaged with his chopsticks. “None of that sounds appealing. Well…” he pauses, trying to think of it in terms of Baekhyun instead. That seems to be his one exception to this lifestyle; giving Baekhyun everything he wants has been a lasting ember since that first fateful party. “I could handle pretty marks. Nothing too harsh, but giving a submissive what he wants and all that. And I could use more than just my hand as long as the skin didn’t break.”

With Baekhyun. Only.

“Then that would be a limit of yours.”

“I thought only subs had those.”

“Nope.” Kyungsoo expertly ladles a twirl of noodles into his spoon. “Dominants need them too. You wouldn’t blindly do absolutely anything another person asked of you would you?”

One drunken night when he and Baekhyun stone a campus sign on a whim aside, Chanyeol certainly can’t argue when it’s put that way. “So I can… have things I don’t like?”

“Of course.” The noodles disappear in a slurp and Kyungsoo makes a happy-foodie sound. “It’s all give and take. You both have to like this, you know. It’s not just fun times for one party.”

And that… Chanyeol finally feels a light bulb go off. He could have limits. Lines he didn’t cross. Things he wouldn’t do and that was actually okay. “I thought it was all about how extreme you could get,” he finishes quietly, feeling a little lame. Kyungsoo gives a small, patient shake of his head.

“It’s about control. Power. The having and the lack of it. How you execute that is up to you. Everything else is exploring fringe benefits,” he adds cheekily. “Stuff that turns you on. The one big difference between doing it in the BDSM world and doing it in the vanilla world is that there’s way more safety nets in place here. Or there should be every time. Discussion is actually a big thing. I love it.”

That idea resonates with Chanyeol. Rules. Instructions. Things that were off-limits with no shame in it. “And we can both say yes or no?”

Kyungsoo nods, nose-deep in his bowl looking for broth. When he comes back out there’s a scrap of green onion on his nose. Chanyeol laughs and reaches across to dab a paper napkin at his face as Kyungsoo answers him.

“All the time. Even in the middle if you change your mind.”

“Safewords?”

“Verbal and semantic. Physical,” Kyungsoo adds helpfully as Chanyeol gives him a head tilt. “You agree on them beforehand.”

“That part I read a little up on,” Chanyeol admits. “I really like the whole safety aspect.” The images of Baekhyun’s abused back abruptly come to mind and Chanyeol inhales, setting his shoulders. “It should keep things from getting out of hand right?”

“If they’re heeded, yes.” Kyungsoo replies slowly. “Which they always should be.”

Chanyeol frowns, poking at his floating half-egg. “And if they’re not?”

“Than that person is not a dominant,” Kyungsoo answers immediately, voice dark. “There’s a reason control is my favourite,” he says quietly. “I like… I like not having it sometimes.”

Chanyeol looks up quickly. Kyungsoo is staring off in the direction of the room’s wardrobe. “You know I’m an orderly person, right?”

Chanyeol nods, not really trusting himself to speak in case he interrupts his friend’s train of thought.  Kyungsoo’s eyes flick over, see the movement and he continues.

“I love having things in their place. I need it to function. My half of the dorm with Baekhyun, my study notes, my clothes. Everything. But sometimes I really, really enjoy being taken out of my head. Jongin does that for me with kink. He…” Kyungsoo licks his lips and he drops his gaze to his bowl. “He makes all the decisions for a short while when I need him to and all I have to do is obey them and make him happy. It’s so simple and so sexy, what he asks of me. And I love doing the things he demands because I trust him to keep me safe.”

Chanyeol holds his breath. Kyungsoo has never been this open. Eventually the other man lifts his eyes.

“And in the process I found I really, really liked pleasing him when he wants to have that control in the bedroom. I love being praised and treasured and being meticulously taken apart so he can put me back together again. Pain is interesting and fun if he’s the one doing it, but what I really love is that high. And that’s how he gets me there.”

Chanyeol scrambles to find the word in his brain. “S-subspace?”

Kyungsoo nods. “Yeah.” He spots Chanyeol reaching for his post-it notepad and shakes his head. “Don’t bother. It’s different for everyone. But it’s an endorphin rush like nothing else. And do you know what that high really comes from when all the leather and paddles and ropes are put down?”

Chanyeol makes a minute shake of his head.

“The fact that I’m safe enough to let go. All that control Jongin has. His care for my safety above all else.” Kyungsoo’s lips puff into a smirk. “I may be a slut for him in private but that’s because I’m treated like his whole world to get there.”

Chanyeol’s saliva goes down the wrong way and he chokes for a second. “Soo!”

His friend just laughs.

Once he gets over that image Chanyeol grows quiet. Thoughtful. “I feel like we’ve somehow come full circle from the start of this discussion.”

Kyungsoo lifts one shoulder, tipping the bowl back into his mouth to catch the last dregs of the broth. “It’s all connected. One part can’t exist properly without the other.”

Chanyeol’s own noodles are getting cold. He swirls them around. “In some way that’s why I don’t think I’m really cut out to be a dominant.”

Kyungsoo’s bowl lowers, eyes sharp above the plastic rim. “Because you don’t think you could play safely?”

“What? No! No. Just that…” A frustrated sound escapes Chanyeol. “If I have to try this hard to understand everything and it’s not even a little bit instinctual aren’t I kind of forcing myself into a topic that I shouldn’t be peeking into?”

Kyungsoo plops the bowl into his lap. “A dominant or a submissive is what you are inside, when all is said and done. It’s who you are. If you’ve never found anyone who brings that out in you then maybe you like the idea of kink in theory. And that’s fine too. A lot of people find what we do titillating and never actually try it for themselves.”

Baekhyun swims up in Chanyeol’s mind; his slender wrists crossed, tendons pushing deliciously against Chanyeol’s palm as pressure is applied. Baekhyun’s breathless sounds as Chanyeol seizes the direction of the moment and cages him in, makes him feel small, overpowered, cocooned, protected…

“Earth to Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol snaps back, ears pinking up. “Sorry. Just uh…”

“Thinking of my roommate?”

The hand Chanyeol throws out is easily dodged. “No! I mean, maybe—but no! He has a boyfriend. I’m just… I want to make sure he’s playing safely. He’s important.”

“You sound like you just found a mouse in your dinner.”

“Huh?”

“Your tone. You’re not happy.”

“I’m-” Chanyeol starts and then stops himself. What’s the point in denying it anyway? His friends know him the best out of anyone in the world. “I’m not happy. Not really. But this isn’t a movie and I have to respect his choices. We’re adults. I can’t storm in and force him to do anything. So I’m learning instead. So I can be there for him if he needs and so I don’t fuck up… again.”

And maybe to help him understand the little ember that’s refused to go out after all these years, no matter how much Chanyeol has tried to examine from all angles, refusing to realise what it meant even if the answer had stared him in the face this whole time. Ignited the moment Baekhyun begged Chanyeol to do one small act to turn him on and Chanyeol had done it without hesitation. Enjoyed it, even.

Because Chanyeol never understood these things and how the flame only appeared because of Baekhyun. Not juxtaposed against the bits and pieces of porn he’d tried to stomach over the years when he typed in BDSM and found people kicking groins with their heeled shoes and heavy tits bound so hard they turned blue. Like a lost puzzle piece, none of that fit. Others enjoyed it immensely but it just wasn’t for him.

And so Chanyeol misunderstood. Deliberately didn’t examine the ember because he didn’t have the right tools. The right words. Acronyms. Safety aspects. Limits.

Not until now.

Kyungsoo’s pocket sounds a text alert; he reaches for Chanyeol’s bowl as he scoops his own up. “Done?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol hands the half-finished meal over. “Sorry, I wasn’t really as hungry as I thought.”

“It’s okay I’ll put it in the fridge.” Kyungsoo’s gaze is knowing. “Talking about choices that you don’t like can make you lose your appetite.”

Chanyeol hunches at that accurate blow, shoulders bracketing his ears. “I’m trying to let Baekhyun live his life. I’m his friend, it’s my job to support him.”

“It’s also your job to keep him safe,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “All of our jobs. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Jongin can keep a secret when he’s asked. Chanyeol shakes his head. “Just something I saw that made me wonder about… boundaries and safewords and stuff.”

“And stuff?”

“I’m worried but ultimately Baekhyun is a grown up,” Chanyeol says softly. “That doesn’t stop me being concerned though.”

Kyungsoo balances the stacked bowls on one forearm like a waiter and pulls out his phone. He looks dearly like he wants to ask more but instead his eyebrows climb. “Baek’s heading back tomorrow morning.”

Chanyeol perks up, sitting straight. “Does he want to come over? You guys can pick a film or-”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, lips pursed. “He said he doesn’t want to talk. Just go straight to bed.”

The air falls out of Chanyeol and he slumps. “Oh. Okay.”

He gets sympathetic eyes and Kyungsoo sighs softly. “He’s probably just tired.”

“Yeah I guess so.” Chanyeol closes his laptop with two fingers. “Marathon sex sessions and all.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes so hard they look like they’re in very real danger of falling out. “Maybe they just talked.”

“For two days?”

Kyungsoo gives him a pat on the arm and bids him goodnight.

Chanyeol flops back. He falls asleep on top of the covers; dreams of pink and peach-streaked marks blossoming on creamy skin and the sweetest moans he’s ever heard each time they appear. Of carefully-controlled sounds of pleasure, beautiful silk-wrapped wrists and little wiggling toes curling in excitement. Anticipation.

The ember roars like a wind has picked it up, sparking.

* * *

The afternoon shift usually goes faster than the morning and for that Chanyeol is thankful. Being busy keeps him from thinking too much. He’s kept on his toes restocking the claw machines, doling out tiny sailor moon dolls and transformer badges in exchange for tickets and making sure no one kicks that one ancient street fighter game in the back that gives you a free level if you take it off its axis for half a second.

It’s nearly closing time and Minseok is in the back checking the receipts when a hand appears in front of Chanyeol’s bent head, placing a box of fish-shaped crackers under his nose.

“I can’t stand not talking to you.”

Chanyeol glances up.

Baekhyun stands there, head down, hands clasped in front of him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles softly, the apples of his cheeks flushing. “Can we be friends again?”

Chanyeol pulls the cracker box towards himself with one finger. It’s his favourite type; the kind with silly little prizes inside. He peeks up from underneath his bangs to find Baekhyun is doing the same thing; their eyes meet and Chanyeol smiles, all happy teeth. “Is this the longest we’ve ever gone without talking?”

Baekhyun ducks his head again, studying his shoes and whatever leftover gum is probably trodden into the flooring after all these years. “I think so, yeah.” He exhales a small laugh. “It was killing me.”

Chanyeol deliberately doesn’t think that Baekhyun should have been far too occupied these past few days to have even spared him a thought, because it makes him impossibly warm to know he was wandering through Baekhyun’s head. A tweak of his ear from slender fingers brings him back to reality.

“Well?”

“Yeah me too,” Chanyeol manages, smile genuine. “I had no one to relate my PUBG highlights to when I got my first kill-streak against a rampaging twelve year old.”

Baekhyun looks like the light has returned to his eyes. His expression crinkles up into one of those goofy smiles that use every facial muscle he possesses. “You can tell me all about it when we have dinner. Kyungsoo is cooking tonight and you and Minseok are invited.”

Chanyeol gives a snort. “Like we’d have stayed away once we smelled it anyway.”

Baekhyun radiates happiness like the sun as they banter. And Chanyeol feels like he’s won the lottery because he can cause that. The feeling is priceless and right now Chanyeol wouldn’t trade it for the world. He finishes locking up the register and flicking the counter-top lights off. “Is Kyungsoo with you now?”

“Nah,” Baekhyun steps aside as Chanyeol exits the counter and latches the little door behind himself. “He did the shopping this morning and he’s probably halfway into dissecting the onions already. I took an Uber here.”

Just to give me this? Chanyeol wonders quietly as he notes the lack of any other retail bags with Baekhyun. He scoops up the box of novelty crackers and tucks them under one arm. “Well Minseok is tutoring Sehun after we close and he’s walking to his place so I have his car to drive home and they can meet us back at the dorm if there’s any leftovers. Did you want a lift?”

He’s not holding his breath. He’s not.

Baekhyun draws a breath. “I’d like that,” he says quietly. Chanyeol could dance.

He practically bounces to the back room to tell Minseok of the dinner invitation and as a result misses the way Baekhyun leans against the fading lights of a racing machine and gives him soft eyes.

* * *

The rooftop car park is nearly empty by the time they make their way up there. Chanyeol happily swings the little keyring around on his finger as they cross over the painted bays to Minseok’s beaten up Volvo. “How long does Kyungsoo expect prep to take for the food?”

Baekhyun hums. “Probably another hour since he has to put something involving pasta in the oven. I tuned out because I know it’s going to be amazing anyway.” He slides a sideways look at Chanyeol. “Why?”

A glance around them shows one other car rolling towards the exit ramp. Chanyeol purses his lips, eyes narrowed playfully. “Wanna?”

Baekhyun does a casual three-sixty spin and notices they’re almost alone too. “Heck yeah,” he answers, moving for the trunk of the car. “Does Minseok still have the blanket in here?”

“Back seat,” Chanyeol corrects him, unlocking the car with the fob. Baekhyun changes direction and swoops for the back door as Chanyeol rounds to the vehicle’s other side. Rummaging inside for a second or two produces the blanket and Baekhyun tosses it up to Chanyeol who has first placed up his little box of crackers and then hoisted himself onto the roof of the Volvo.

Chanyeol lays the material out across the car’s long roof and gives a hand up to Baekhyun who aids his lift with a quick, careful toe on the old hood. With a happy sound Chanyeol lays back and settles down, one forearm curled up behind his head. “It’s a good night for it. No clouds yet.”

They haven’t been stargazing for at least a month and Chanyeol has missed it. The darkening evening air is just highlighting the first pinpricks of light and Chanyeol can sense Baekhyun making himself comfortable beside him. There’s a faint hiss as Baekhyun attempts to mirror his pose and lie on his back but Chanyeol pretends not to notice and Baekhyun eventually settles for lying somewhat on his side, head propped up on one hand.

Chanyeol watches the last wisps of cloud dissipate. “Think Kyungsoo would hate me if I opened my crackers before dinner?”

Baekhyun shifts so his legs are comfortable. “You just want the toy. Go on then. Open it.”

Chanyeol fishes around for the box with a smile and plops it onto his chest. He attempts to lazily open it one-handed without having to actually shift his other arm until Baekhyun laughs at him and offers his own free hand to hold it still so Chanyeol can peel the cardboard back.

A quick poke around inside produces a lot of little crumbs and a triumphant rumble as Chanyeol finally plucks the little wrapped toy out.

“You know,” Baekhyun murmurs thoughtfully as Chanyeol rips the plastic safety bag open with his teeth. “You’d think after giving away two dollar prizes all day you’d be sick of toys.”

“Never.” Chanyeol tugs the item free. “I like the surprise.”

Baekhyun’s laugh is ever so fond. “You’re so easy to please. What is it this time?”

Chanyeol looks at the multi-coloured item in his palm thoughtfully. Ah. “It’s one of those slap bands.” He smiles as Baekhyun takes it from his hand and flicks it open before snapping it firmly onto Chanyeol’s wrist. It barely joins together in the middle. “I think I’m a little too big for it.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Baekhyun shoots back solemnly, entertained by the badly fitting item. “Wear it well.”

Chanyeol points his arm up at the sky, fingers in a fist as he turns his wrist from side to side. “I could get used to it I suppose.”

A companionable silence falls over them as he lets his arm drop, broken only by the sound of munching as Baekhyun occasionally sneaks a biscuit from Chanyeol’s box.

“You’re going to ruin your appetite,” Chanyeol murmurs after a while, eyes drifting shut. “Don’t come crying to me when Kyungsoo chases after you with a wooden spoon.”

Baekhyun snorts as a firetruck sounds faintly somewhere in the distant streets. “Like you wouldn’t protect me.”

Chanyeol smiles into the darkness. “Always,” he replies quietly.

The munching stops. Baekhyun shuffles once more and the forearm between them that Chanyeol has bent behind his head suddenly has weight on the bicep. Chanyeol cracks an eye open.

Baekhyun has shifted to prop his head onto Chanyeol’s arm instead. Abruptly and quite painfully Chanyeol’s heart squeezes up for a whole second even as he bounces his arm lightly. “If you go to sleep you’ll accidentally roll off.”

“That was one time,” Baekhyun mumbles, riding the movement. “Two years ago. Just a minute please? I just need to give my neck a rest.”

Chanyeol goes obediently still. He glances over at Baekhyun, curled up beside him like a little prawn. The collar that Chanyeol tries so hard to permanently ignore is still around Baekhyun’s neck, tight and chafing. He can see how red and inflamed the skin is around the edges now and Chanyeol nearly bites his tongue in half with the effort of not saying anything. He looks back to the stars instead.

His resolve lasts another thirty seconds; until Baekhyun shifts slightly and ties to swallow the pained sound he makes.

“Baek?”

Baekhyun gives a hum. Chanyeol swallows. “Have you aired your neck since you put the collar on?”

Baekhyun is silent for so long that Chanyeol thinks he’s genuinely drifted off. But finally the answer comes in the form of a very small voice.

“No.”

Chanyeol draws a long breath in. “You remember when I hurt my leg last summer? How I had to have that cast on? The doctor told me I had to keep the edges and under it as clean as I could and you all helped me.” Chanyeol turns his head and suddenly realises for the first time how close Baekhyun’s face is when he does this. “I worry about your neck the same way.”

Baekhyun’s eyes open and he blinks up at Chanyeol. “I’m not supposed to take it off.”

Chanyeol blinks. “If you get an infection it’ll have to come off anyway at a hospital. Can you at least move it up or down a little to let the skin cool?”

Baekhyun’s eyes slip shut again. “It’s a symbol of ownership,” he replies like he’s reciting something he’s been told. “If I’m not willing to wear it I shouldn’t have accepted it in the first place.”

The words Chanyeol desperately wants to say get stuck in his throat. In the end he swallows them down and simply asks, “Does it hurt?”

Baekhyun nods, his cheek shifting against Chanyeol’s arm. “But I like pain,” he says. The cool evening air catches his words and drifts them away.

“Pain during scenes or every minute of the day?”

“Only in scenes really, but I suppose this is a way of getting me used to it.” Baekhyun awkwardly lifts one shoulder and Chanyeol is reminded of his injured back too. “Or maybe he just forgot to tell me to take it off when I shower. I never really asked.”

Horrified, Chanyeol thinks back to Kyungsoo’s words from earlier. “Doesn’t he check up on you?”

“In what way?” Baekhyun’s eyes are open again but his voice isn’t angry, just… curious. “He always makes sure I… you know. I always come.”

Carefully Chanyeol extends his arm so Baekhyun can still use it as he rolls onto his side to face him properly. “Not that. I mean has he looked at your neck?” At your back too? Any of your wounds? Chanyeol wants to add but he holds back respectfully. This is the first time Baekhyun has talked openly.

Baekhyun’s eyes skitter away. “He likes to grab it during scenes from behind and uh—jeez sorry for the TMI.”

Chanyeol locks eyes with Baekhyun; time to be honest “I’m asking this stuff because I did some reading up on everything. Talked to Kyungsoo and Jongin. To help understand better.”

And accidentally found out that protective dominants are a thing. And that not all kink is a competition in how extreme it can be.

Chanyeol holds his breath as Baekhyun digests this.

“Was it… interesting?” Baekhyun finally asks. And that’s probably the last thing Chanyeol expected to come from Baekhyun; all the air in Chanyeol’s lungs comes tumbling back out.

“Uh, yeah! Yeah it was. Unexpected but I learned a lot. To uh… listen better for one thing and I guess help if you ever need.”

Baekhyun goes quiet. They’re so painfully close Chanyeol can feel his gentle breathing against his shirt collar. But if Baekhyun isn’t moving back then Chanyeol will let him rest on his arm until the limb goes numb if he needs. Finally Baekhyun nods.

“I… thank you. That’s very kind.”

Why does he sound so hollow? Chanyeol tries to catch his gaze again. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” Baekhyun responds instantly, almost too loudly; Chanyeol startles a bit and that at least makes Baekhyun smile. “No. It’s really sweet. I guess I’m just sorry you did it out of worry.”

Of course I was worried about you but I found out there’s a chance I’ve always liked the same things as you but in a different way and-

Chanyeol licks his lips; Baekhyun’s eyes drop to follow the movement.

“You’re my best friend,” Chanyeol whispers, voice strangely tight. “We’ve always been able to tell each other everything. I want to make sure you feel okay talking to me about this too. If you ever need,” he adds quickly.

Baekhyun’s expression softens so much at those words that it takes everything in Chanyeol not to close his eyes against it. He looks… he looks like Chanyeol just said something impossibly kind and it tugs on Chanyeol’s chest to see such a look aimed his way. The space between them seems so small as heat rises to Baekhyun’s cheeks, making them into little peaches when he speaks.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he murmurs. “Not really.”

Chanyeol is lost in those peaches; the way they puff as Baekhyun’s lips move; he always talks in some degree of pout and it’s painfully cute. “Huh?”

Elegant, Park.

If Baekhyun’s eyes were any larger they’d contain more stars than the night sky. That’s how close Chanyeol realises his little upturned face is. He watches in fascination as the blush runs down towards Baekhyun’s neck too when he replies.

“Did you find any of it interesting?”

The weight Baekhyun puts into that question hits Chanyeol like a truck. Every ounce of air freezes in his body as he goes so still that he just knows a faint push would shatter him. He feels strangely fragile and yet calm all at once. He restarts his lungs.

“Yeah,” he replies softly. Sincerely. “I did.”

Something in Baekhyun’s eyes flashes exactly the same emotion as a certain day several years ago that Chanyeol still remembers like yesterday. The day he found Baekhyun in the hallway. Only this time it’s there and gone; replaced by something more mature and with the weight of time behind it.

Baekhyun looks like he’s just come to a realisation in his own mind. And it stuns him. He goldfishes adorably for a second, blinking.

Chanyeol slowly bends the forearm of the limb Baekhyun is resting on upwards, placing his palm against the back of Baekhyun’s head. His hair is impossibly soft; Chanyeol threads a few strands between his fingers, just letting them fall back into place again and again until Baekhyun’s starlit eyes close and his mouth drops into a faint, open pant.

Chanyeol smiles, leaning forward until their foreheads touch like they used to back when they won a dual match. With a thin, shaky exhale Baekhyun goes limp at the petting. Trusting.

Chanyeol wants to say something. Wants to elaborate on what he’s found out. About kink and himself. Wants to somehow keep Baekhyun against himself like this; soft and pliant and just… relaxed. Safe. Drifting. Just feeling what Chanyeol is making him feel.

Opening his mouth takes a herculean effort. Chanyeol forms the words in his head and-

His phone rings.

The two of them jolt back to the present, tumbling apart as Chanyeol scrambles for his cell, yanking the offending device out of his pocket. He swipes to answer with a shaking thumb.

“Yes?”

Kyungsoo’s voice is firm. “If you don’t get back to the dorms now I’m giving all your portions to Yixing and Jongdae down the hall. Med students always need food.”

Baekhyun clears his throat, swipes the cracker box up and leans over Chanyeol to call into the mouthpiece, “We’re on our way!” Before he slides off the roof and onto the hood, tumbling down towards the passenger side.

Chanyeol stares at the twinkling stars for a second longer before following.

Baekhyun is silent the whole ride home, but it’s the gentle kind. Serene. Thoughtful.

It could have been Chanyeol’s imagination but for the rest of the evening every time he looks up he finds Baekhyun’s eyes on him, this time content to be caught looking.

* * *

Why don’t you answer my calls? That’s what you’re supposed to d—so what? It’s only dinner. Your master can buy you a better one. I want you over here angel hair. Yeah, now. Get a taxi, I don’t care. I’ll pay you back.

…Come on don’t be like that. I call, you answer. You’re my sub.

…What else do you think the fucking collar is for? Decoration? It means you’re mine. And a real submissive would prove it to his master by doing what he says.

* * *

…You’re fuckin’ late. What time do you call this? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for your pretty ass? No don’t give me those eyes. Oh fine. Come here.

…What? It was just a little something to take the edge off. That’s what happens when you keep me waiting. Get your clothes off and forget about it. I smoke all the time. Down on your knees piggy. I’ll show you what a real man can do.

…You shouldn’t have been so fucking late. Got me all riled up and then you waltz in here stinking of garlic and expecting me to what? Kiss you? Well now you’re gonna have to pay me back. You stupid. Fucking. Little-

… What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get back here now or—no no no, look I’m sorry angel. I am. Really. I was just angry. You believe me right? See? I’m calm. I am.

…Hey! Hey you little shit you can’t just fucking leave-

* * *

In the middle of his dreams Chanyeol ‘s alarm sounds different this time. It sounds almost like…

Tossing out an arm, Chanyeol flails for his phone on the bedside table. Stuffing one side of his face into the sleep-warm pillow provides space for him to bring the device up to his upraised ear. “H’lo?”

He almost misses it, the response is so small. Weightless.

“Outside. Please.”

Chanyeol sits bolt upright, covers tumbling away. “Baek?”

The phone goes dead. Chanyeol flings it away and vaults up out of bed, nearly tripping over mounds of clean washing as he hauls himself around with one hand to the doorframe of his bedroom and into the living space he shares with Minseok.

The front door takes a split second to unbolt and open. Baekhyun stands in the space left by the wood, hunched and small. The moment his eyes lift and he spots Chanyeol, Baekhyun’s eyes well up and he hugs his arms about his middle. “Can I..?”

Chanyeol immediately steps back and ushers Baekhyun inside, closing the door and locking it behind him after checking that there was no one else in the hallway. “What’s—are you okay?” he breathes, words tumbling into one another because Baekhyun is standing in his living room shaking and Chanyeol doesn’t know what to do; his hands curl into anxious balls.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I’m sorry. About the time. It’s so late and I… I’m sorry.” His voice drops. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

The fact that his own room is just next door makes Chanyeol pause but he doesn’t dwell on it. Baekhyun is here. Right here and he’s asking for… help. Chanyeol repeats his question a little more firmly this time. “Baek are you hurt?”

Baekhyun’s fingers dig a little tighter into his arms and he seems to almost want to disappear. “I don’t know,” he mutters. “I’m… I can’t feel much.”

A connection goes off in Chanyeol’s mind at that. He looks directly into Baekhyun’s eyes and pitches his words in a carefully low tone. “Did you scene?”

Baekhyun nods.

Chanyeol exhales carefully. “Did you…” he searches for the right word. He doesn’t know it, dammit. “Did you come down properly?”

Chin dropping, Baekhyun angles his face towards the floor. “I-I stopped it. Him. Before the end.”

Chanyeol’s hammering heart swoops toward his shoes even as his neurons line up to provide the word. “You’re in subdrop?”

Baekhyun’s down-turned head nods and he shakes a little more. Chanyeol clenches his jaw, unsure how to categorise the emotions flooding through him right now because there’s too many to count. Anger. Concern. Fear. Compassion. Nervousness. So he doesn’t try; he pushes down everything that’s not helpful right now. A decision is what’s needed.

“Can I touch you?”

Baekhyun sways on his feet for a moment, nodding. “Cold...”

“Uh, okay. Okay. Stay right there. I’ll be back.” Chanyeol feels a little like an idiot but he doesn’t have time for that either; he spins and dashes for the laundry room he and Minseok share, yanking open the small dryer they set each night. The now-clean blanket from their impromptu stargaze is still inside, soft and warm. Chanyeol tugs it out and hightails back into the living room.

Baekhyun’s hands have migrated up from his forearms to his neck. He’s pulling at the strip of leather there. Chanyeol crosses the small space and drapes the blanket around Baekhyun’s shoulders.

The reaction is immediate; Baekhyun sinks down, his knees giving way. If Chanyeol’s reflexes weren’t on point he’d have crumpled to the floor. As it is he catches Baekhyun around the waist, dipping to hook him behind his thighs too.

Chanyeol’s knees hit the floor at the end of the manoeuvre, scooping Baekhyun against his chest so he doesn’t connect with the hardwood too. And just like that he’s on his knees with a tiny, shivering sub in his arms.

And that flame… the one Chanyeol thought was inside him because of other, darker reasons flares up inside him and he finally realises. It’s connected to his urge to protect. To take care of this one, perfect boy.

Chanyeol curls Baekhyun up and slips his knees out from underneath himself, plonking onto his butt as Baekhyun clings onto him, delicate hands gripping the front of Chanyeol’s pyjama shirt like a lifeline in a storm.

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol whispers, rocking his precious bundle in his lap. The words feel natural so he doesn’t even think about them before they tumble out. “I’m here. You’ve been so strong but you can let go properly now. You can. I promise.”

And Baekhyun finally lets his tears fall. Safe, soft and warm in Chanyeol’s arms.

* * *

Chanyeol doesn’t leave Baekhyun’s side for the rest of the night. But he does finally manage to get them both off the floor. Baekhyun feels as delicate and wobbly as a fawn when they stand up; full of the trembles and clinging to Chanyeol like letting him go would be devastating.

“You want to…” Chanyeol swallows, unsure how to broach this properly but keenly aware of Baekhyun’s actions earlier. “Get this off?” He indicates the collar.

Baekhyun slowly lowers his head and brings it back up again. “Please,” he rasps.

He allows Chanyeol to guide them to the small bathroom. Once there Chanyeol fills a glass with water from the tap and gives it to Baekhyun, both to drink and to momentarily distract him. Then he props him up against the sink and looks at the collar.

“I’m going to touch your neck,” Chanyeol warns him, voice low. “If you want me to stop just tell me, okay?”

Baekhyun manages a faint sound into his cup and nods once more. His eyes are red and puffy above the rim. He’s wept silently for an hour.

Chanyeol attempts to fit a finger underneath the circumference to see if it’s as tight as it looks and with a frustrated sound he finds it is. Spanning the width of it with his fingers he runs around to the back of it, feeling along the cheap material.

There’s a locking mechanism at the back. Chanyeol cups the rear part of Baekhyun’s skull gently. “Can you turn your head for me?”

Baekhyun moves his neck around, pushing his head to the right with a faint sound of discomfort. Chanyeol immediately peers around him, pressing softly against Baekhyun to keep him from toppling over as his centre of balance is askew. As he’s working on the clasp a small hand sneaks around his waist and Baekhyun’s cheek drops to land on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

Chanyeol blinks, quickly unhooking the locking mechanism. He withdraws the leather slowly, flicking it to one side when he’s done. He thinks it lands somewhere in the bathtub but he doesn’t care.

The entirety of Baekhyun’s neck where the collar had been is one large, thick sore. Red and inflamed, the skin looks chafed almost right through. Chanyeol hisses as Baekhyun rolls his head, changing cheeks so he’s facing Chanyeol’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol swallows.

“What for?”

“For this,” Baekhyun replies sadly. “All of this. I thought I knew what I was doing. What we were doing but…”

Chanyeol shushes him quietly. “That’s a talk for when you’re feeling better. I know you’re tired and we can sleep soon but I just need to put a little cream on your neck to stop any infection. Can you stay awake for me for that?”

Baekhyun makes a weak sound and the hand at Chanyeol’s waist cinches tighter.

“I’d do anything if you asked.”

Heavy, thick beats of blood pound in Chanyeol’s ears, hot and confusing. He’s not sure Baekhyun knows what he’s saying right now or even if he means it if he does. But that’s not what matters here and now. Only Baekhyun’s safety does. Chanyeol keeps Baekhyun propped between the sink and his body and reaches around him for the medicine cabinet on the wall. “I’ll be quick because it’ll hurt.”

Baekhyun snorts at that. Chanyeol taps the tube of antiseptic cream on the top of Baekhyun’s hair as he withdraws it. “At least you’re feeling well enough to remember sarcasm.”

“You’re warm,” is all Baekhyun says in reply. Chanyeol blushes.

“Okay lift your head up a little. I need to get all your neck.”

Baekhyun raises his head and goes to turn towards the mirror but Chanyeol catches him with a hand to his chin.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to look right at it now. I’ve got this.”

Baekhyun draws a long, slow breath, almost like he’s ready to disobey but in the next second the fight drains out of him. “I want to know how bad it is.”

“It’ll look so much better in the morning,” Chanyeol promises him. “You can look then.”

Stubbornness melts into trust. Chanyeol’s heart gives a relieved thump and he sets about spreading the cream thinly around Baekhyun’s neck. The skin is an ugly, blotched mix of stale sweat and unwashed contusions but it won’t scar. The cream should bring down the swelling and make sure nothing gets into the flesh while they leave it to air for a while.

Baekhyun is so, so tiny against him while Chanyeol works. A silent companion even though it must sting like hell. Chanyeol finally caps the tube and replaces it, washing his hand somewhat awkwardly under the tap. “You did it,” he murmurs. “You did so well.”

The very first hint of a smile almost picks up one corner of Baekhyun’s lips. “For you?”

“For me,” Chanyeol affirms warmly. “Now come on. You need to rest.”

“I stink,” Baekhyun whispers. “I smell like come and leather and-”

“Can you stand on your own and not topple over in the shower?”

That hand on Chanyeol’s waist flexes. “Probably not.”

“Then we’ll rest gently until you can. You’re exhausted. The moment you can stand up safely and not knock yourself out you can take a shower. I promise.”

Stepping back allows Baekhyun to rest on his own feet for a moment. Chanyeol watches him sway and draw the blanket tighter around his shoulders as if missing the warmth, but he seems content to have the decisions made for him right now.

“But…” Baekhyun’s mouth hovers half-open for a second. “Don’t you want to know what happened?”

“Why? Are you hurt anywhere else?” Chanyeol asks quickly. Baekhyun shakes his head, one hand drifting towards his neck and stopping just before it as he remembers the cream is there.

“No. Nothing urgent. Just some more bruises.”

“Then you can tell me when you feel comfortable,” Chanyeol says softly. “I’m not judging anything.”

Baekhyun smothers a yawn, frowning. It looks like a pout. “How are you so kind?”

Quirking his mouth up Chanyeol shrugs, trying to erase that frown. “You’re just lucky I guess. Come on, if you can sass me you can eat a bite of leftovers in bed.”

Baekhyun’s hand never leaves Chanyeol’s shirt as he’s guided out and Chanyeol flicks off the light behind them. “Will we wake Minseok?”

“Not unless you’re hiding a herd of elephants in here too. He sleeps like my grandfather.”

Baekhyun belatedly toes off his shoes at the entranceway as they pass. Chanyeol deliberately pretends not to notice and herds him towards his bedroom. “I’ve got some instant rice I can warm up.”

Stopping at the end of Chanyeol’s bed Baekhyun finally lets go, turns and sinks onto it. “I guess so.”

“Just a couple of mouthfuls as all I ask. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Baekhyun gives another nod. It’s so incredibly unlike him to not be overly verbal that Chanyeol is almost frightened. But he’s slowly coming back to himself so that gives Chanyeol hope. He dashes for the kitchen and the microwave there.

He’s shoved the rice in and is fidgeting with his fingers impatiently when the faint tapping of bare feet pads up behind him in the dark. Chanyeol spins.

“You didn’t come back,” Baekhyun whispers, both hands latching onto Chanyeol’s shirt this time. He’s abandoned the blanket. Chanyeol melts a little, flicking his eyes to the timer.

“It’s been two and a half minutes.”

Baekhyun puffs air into his cheeks,  looking all of five years old. Only his eyes remain his true age and haunted.

“Ah,” Chanyeol says gently, reaching up to cup the back of Baekhyun’s head and drawing him in. “I see. I’m sorry, I’ll just bring a snack bar next time.”

Baekhyun hugs him, face smooshed into Chanyeol’s chest. “Next time?”

Chanyeol goes still, the hand gently smoothing Baekhyun’s hair slowing to a stop. This feels important. “We’ll talk later if you still feel like it.”

Baekhyun just burrows further. Chanyeol doesn’t expect an answer but the offer is there now. And the microwave timer dings. He keeps hold of Baekhyun, tugs the rice out and scoops up a disposable spoon. Then he walks them quietly back to the bedroom.

Easing Baekhyun onto the edge of the bed, Chanyeol sits next to him and peels the plastic top off the tub. Steam wafts up and Baekhyun’s stomach growls. Chanyeol smiles; an elbow pokes lightly into his side and Chanyeol rides the move, scooping out a spoonful.

He had expected Baekhyun to take the implement but instead Baekhyun’s mouth immediately drops open and he gives Chanyeol hopeful, tired eyes.

“A couple of mouthfuls,” Chanyeol repeats, ladling the spoon in the same way he feeds his sister’s little kids. Baekhyun doesn’t resist, blowing on the rice and nibbling at it despite his stomach’s rumblings. Chanyeol finally resorts to aeroplane noises that earn him a glare and result in Baekhyun gulping down the final mouthful just to shut him up. Chanyeol makes a pleased sound and finishes off the last of the rice, tossing the items into the bin.

Looking to Baekhyun Chanyeol suddenly feels a prick of nerves. He glances up at the wall to his side, trying to scan his notes to see if he’s missed anything. Aftercare is mostly about hydration, a little food, heat and comfort and Chanyeol has somehow ticked all those boxes…

Baekhyun is too zonked out to notice anything. He simply falls backwards and scoots around Chanyeol up towards the pillow, tummy full of warm food. Chanyeol moves out of the way and tucks him under the covers, not minding that he’ll have to wash everything tomorrow.

He’s about finished when Baekhyun cracks his jaw on a yawn. “C’mere?”

Chanyeol looks down. Baekhyun has curled himself into a ball under the covers, only his head poking out.

“Please?”

Like Chanyeol would ever refuse him anything. Knee-walking himself up onto the bed he shuffles over and around until he’s behind Baekhyun, only on top of the covers. He curls round the little ball, his legs easily wrapping underneath the shape to keep him cocooned. “How’s that?”

“Oh.” Baekhyun sounds deliriously content all of a sudden. “Perfect.”

Chanyeol smiles and buries his nose into the lump of cover behind Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Okay, get some sleep. I’m with you.”

A different silence descends, strange and new. Chanyeol’s eyes close but he lies there listening to Baekhyun’s breathing. It doesn’t even out.

Finally Baekhyun speaks.

“Chanyeol?”

“Hmm?” Chanyeol curves an arm around the lumpy ball.

There’s a pause, almost like Baekhyun can’t go to sleep just yet despite his exhaustion. Chanyeol rocks him slightly until Baekhyun speaks one last time, voice shaky.

“Will you still be here when I wake up?”

Chanyeol squeezes his Baekhyun-ball gently. “Of course.”

Only then does Baekhyun let himself sleep.

* * *

Chanyeol wakes up to find that Baekhyun has not only outgrown his little nest during the night but that he’s in fact flipped the covers off and is at this point… curled up on top of Chanyeol. A pair of eyes peep up from underneath mussed bangs at Chanyeol as he stirs.

“Hi,” Baekhyun says quietly from atop Chanyeol’s chest.

Chanyeol yawns, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair. “Morning. What time izzit?”

Baekhyun puts his hands under his chin for a little bit of extra height. “Nearly seven.”

So we slept for about five hours. Chanyeol scratches his fingers through the short hair on the back of Baekhyun’s head absently as his memories of last night drizzle back into his brain. When they finally slot into place Chanyeol’s hand slows.

“How are you feeling?”

Baekhyun exhales. “Like I was run over by a truck.” At Chanyeol’s wide eyes he manages a small smile, “But got patched up afterwards.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol catches his tongue between his teeth thoughtfully before asking, “So do you feel up for a shower?”

Baekhyun rears up like he’s been shot, hands planted firmly on Chanyeol’s chest. “Oh god I stink don’t I? Shit. Shitshitshit-”

Chanyeol rolls the cover sandwiched between them over Baekhyun, tumbling him back onto the mattress at his side. He then slings a leg over Baekhyun’s covered, wiggling body. “Oh no, no you smell great. In fact I think I’ll just go back to sleep right here…”

Baekhyun squirms, laughing. It makes Chanyeol feel lighter than he had all night and he uses his strength to keep Baekhyun in place, gleefully using the weight advantage he has until Baekhyun goes soft, mumbling into the pillow.

Chanyeol pushes himself onto his hands and knees above Baekhyun to claim victory but it’s only then he notices the goosebumps running up and down the back of Baekhyun’s neck.

“Hey,” Chanyeol murmurs. “I’m sorry. Did I-”

In the space of a heartbeat Baekhyun flips himself over and smothers Chanyeol with the duvet, bundling him up with a loud, gleeful shout. Then in the next breath he’s vaulted from the bed and scooted out, scaring the living daylights out of Minseok if the clatter of dishes in the kitchen is anything to go by.

Chanyeol flops back onto his pillow, still covered by the heavy material.

Well, he thinks. At least Baekhyun is back to his usual self. It must have worked.

He listens to the sound of the shower running and wonders how he’s going to explain his sudden bed-mate to Minseok. But in the end he needn’t have bothered.

There’s a dirty collar shoved into the kitchen bin when Chanyeol emerges a short while later.

Minseok -showered, dressed and up- gives Chanyeol knowing eyes over his fried eggs and silently nods his approval.

* * *

Chanyeol is bundling his bed covers up to stuff into the wash when Baekhyun emerges, scrubbed pink and with tendrils of damp hair curling at the collar of… Chanyeol’s mouth drops open.

“I uh, hope it’s okay just for a little bit,” Baekhyun says bashfully. “They were in there when I went to shower and my stuff is filthy so…”

Chanyeol’s shirt comes down almost to Baekhyun’s knees, wide and impossibly roomy with just that lithe body in there instead of Chanyeol’s usual bulk. So Minseok did more than just dispose of the collar this morning… Chanyeol could hug him.

Instead he huffs a laugh, scratching the back of his head and trying not to notice how good Baekhyun looks in his clothes. “Ah, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You can’t go home butt naked. Kyungsoo would kill me.”

Baekhyun purses his lips, lowering his gaze. He addresses the floor, little sweater-paw hands twisting the soggy towel he’s still holding. “Would you mind if I hung out… for today?”

“Sure?” It’s not often that Baekhyun asks to do this; it’s usually implied that the whole lot of them can come and go between both dorms for movies and food and video games. “For however long you want.”

More fidgeting. “Could we talk?”

Ah. Chanyeol scoops his large bundle up and crosses the room, bumping into Baekhyun gently as he passes. “Of course. You’re feeling ready for that?”

Baekhyun’s hands drop, his shoulders drawing back as he straightens. “Yeah,” he says softly. His eyes are alight again. Full of a life that wasn’t there last night.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a sec.” Chanyeol carries his armful out the door, only to stop and look back over his shoulder. Baekhyun has already turned to watch him go. Chanyeol smiles. “Or do you wanna come along? I don’t want to leave you for too long again.”

The damp towel shoots playfully past his head and Chanyeol ducks it, laughing. But he doesn’t miss how as he walks to the laundry a set of smaller feet follow him.

* * *

“Did you want Kyungsoo or Jongin to listen in too?” Chanyeol asks as they return to settle into his room once more. “They kind of know more about the lifestyle.”

Baekhyun declines with a shake of his head. “I’ll talk to them when I’m ready, This is… I really want to talk to you right now.”

Why does he feel so nervous? Chanyeol all of a sudden doesn’t know quite where to sit or stand or… Finally Baekhyun rolls his eyes at his awkwardness and tugs Chanyeol back towards the bed.

“First I have a question,” Baekhyun says, humour colouring his voice. “What’s all that?”

Chanyeol can feel his ears heating. The post-it note collection sits on the wall above his bedhead, glaringly, painfully visible. Chanyeol tries to reply but it comes out as a bit of a squeak so he tries again.

“Uh. My… study.”

He’s not sure what to expect next; an outlandish comment, a bark of Baekhyun’s familiar laughter, a smack to his arm… Chanyeol braces himself.

What actually happens is Baekhyun crawls up onto the bed on all fours and pads over to the pillows, sinking onto his haunches to read the scribblings thoughtfully. Chanyeol doesn’t realise he’s holding his breath until he starts to feel dizzy.

“What’s SSC?” Baekhyun asks quietly.

Oh.

Oh.

Chanyeol clears his throat, stepping forward so he’s up next to Baekhyun while still staying on the floor. “It’s uh, it’s an acronym for when kinky people play. Safe, Sane, Consensual.”

Baekhyun goes very, very still. “I was never told about that.”

The words come out before Chanyeol can stop them. “I’m sorry to hear it.”

Baekhyun’s head tips to one side. His eyes keep scanning the notes. Chanyeol sees his mouth form words silently as he reads and at one point he reaches out a slender finger to touch one of the post-its on the top row where two words are underlined in dark pen.

Safewords. Limits.

Baekhyun traces a fingertip over those words before dropping his hand. He keeps looking through the notes until he’s read all the rows from top to bottom. Finally he sits back on his heels, knees still on Chanyeol’s pillow as he digests all the information.

“There’s a lot of things I was never told,” he murmurs finally. “I had it all wrong. I can’t believe how fucking wrong…”

Chanyeol’s hand comes out instinctively, landing on the now-familiar spot at the back of Baekhyun’s head; he smooths his palm down in what he hopes is a soothing gesture. “He was your first.”

Baekhyun’s shoulders start to shake along with his voice. “He was an abusive ass. He wasn’t what he said at all. And I was so goddamn ignorant…”

“Hey, hey,” Chanyeol comes closer. “You put a stop to it, remember that. You ended things. That’s what matters right now.”

Baekhyun’s hands fly up to his wounded neck and he hunches forward, forehead touching the wall. “I hate that he ever laid a hand on me,” he whispers. The soft pat of tears hit the pillow below. “That I let him. That I thought this was how things were supposed to be done.”

Chanyeol’s hands curl into gentle balls; all he wants to do is comfort Baekhyun but he’s not sure if he should hug him or anything right now. It kills him.

“Am I bigger than him?” Chanyeol whispers. “I don’t care if I’m not because I’m still going to kick his ass anyway, but it’ll probably help if he’s a pipsqueak.”

That finally makes Baekhyun huff out a broken laugh. He straightens up and turns, shuffling back over on the headboard and holding out his arms in invitation. His eyelashes are brimming.

The mattress dips as Chanyeol settles onto it, sitting himself up against the bedhead. He keeps a respectful distance the same as if they were watching a movie on the couch if this were any other day. But it’s not and Baekhyun gives him a perfectly timed ‘you big dork’ look before closing the small space and curling into his arms, head tucked under his chin. Chanyeol immediately wraps him up.

“You’re really the first,” Baekhyun says, his words slightly muffled by tears and a t-shirt. “Technically.”

Flashbacks hit Chanyeol so hard they’re almost physically painful. “Uh…” The inside of a dark, heady closet fill his mind. “How so?” They don’t talk about this. They never have…

Baekhyun relaxes into Chanyeol’s warmth. “You’re the first one to give me aftercare properly,” he sniffs. “Last night.”

Oh. Chanyeol rubs a hand lightly up and down Baekhyun’s arm, soothing away the tears as best he can. “I’m glad it was done right.”

Baekhyun dabs his nose on Chanyeol’s shirt because of course he’s a little shit and yet Chanyeol still loves him. “Hm,” Baekhyun replies. “I liked it so it must have been. And anyway that’s not the only time.”

Every nerve in Chanyeol’s body pings. It feels like electricity running under every inch of his skin; he’s sure he jolts from it and Baekhyun can feel it.

“You never wanted to talk about that,” Chanyeol says, voice cracking slightly like a stupid teenager. He clears his throat. “I could see it in your face. So I just… pretended it never happened.”

Tried to. Failed.

Perhaps it’s easier not talking to his face, Chanyeol doesn’t know but Baekhyun finds his courage somewhere because with one last sniffle he continues.

“I thought—I didn’t know what I was back then. Just that I liked… things. And we were drunk, stupid and I asked you to…”

“You asked to be restrained,” Chanyeol says softly, propping his chin on Baekhyun’s head. He keeps up the stroking to make sure Baekhyun knows everything is still okay. “Pinned. Caged in. Controlled.”

A slight jostle to his chin reveals Baekhyun is nodding. “I’d never asked anyone I dated for that kind of stuff but…”

He’s not nodding, Chanyeol realises with a shock. He’s trembling. Baekhyun continues.

“But I liked you and we’d been drinking and I couldn’t believe my luck when that stupid bottle landed on me. I thought I’d never get the chance again and I let myself… ask.”

Chanyeol feels light-headed. His heart is thumping hard enough that he knows Baekhyun can feel it against his ear. Baekhyun liked him. Really, really liked him. Then why…

“And then you came and found me a couple of days later. Back then I was so, so confused about everything. About what I liked, what turned me on. I thought maybe I was wrong or something and there you were all tall and kind and bouncy and…” Baekhyun exhales hard. “I thought that there was a chance I could dirty that. Darken it. With what I… wanted.”

The panicked expression on Baekhyun’s face that has forever been etched in the back of Chanyeol’s memories flashes up and suddenly after all this time Chanyeol understands.

“You thought if we became a thing that you’d frighten me. Because I was vanilla.”

A real nod this time. “And we weren’t compatible and I never wanted to hurt you and—wait.” Baekhyun sits up, bringing his face parallel with Chanyeol. “Was?”

Chanyeol flushes. “Turns out there’s a side to kink I might actually be very comfortable with. And… other things. If it was you.”

The look of pure surprise on Baekhyun’s face is something Chanyeol wants to capture forever. Maybe with a photo. And bring it out in twenty years’ time to embarrass the shit out of him on his birthday. Because that is damn rare. And Chanyeol caused it.

“What things?”

Chanyeol shifts and sits up slightly so that Baekhyun is more easily positioned across him and his hip still has blood flow. “Safe things. Things that have rules and are agreed upon beforehand. Things I can stop if I need. And things that I can make sure I get to take care of afterwards.” He levels Baekhyun with a long look. “So you don’t have any permanent injuries.”

Baekhyun takes a moment to digest this. Then a look of tentative hope crosses his face. “You’re not just saying this out of some misguided need to save me from my own stupid impulses?”

“Oh that too, totally.” Chanyeol quips and then has to raise his arms as Baekhyun beans him with the second pillow. He wrestles it off him and tosses it aside, encircling Baekhyun and locking his own hands at the small of his back to keep him pinned with arms to his sides. Laughter looks good on Baekhyun. “But I really did have a mini revelation.”

The light stays in Baekhyun’s eyes even as his smile softens and fades. “Is it really supposed to be this easy?” he asks quietly.

Chanyeol squeezes his forearms, bouncing Baekhyun on his lap once. “Maybe. If it’s us.”

“I’m a little bit of a brat,” Baekhyun says slowly. “I like to talk back. I like feeling overpowered and marked up. Smacked. Overwhelmed. Controlled.”

Chanyeol takes a deep breath. “I can do that. But I have my own rules for it. Things I won’t do. Lines I won’t cross no matter how hard you beg. But if there’s a safe alternative I’ll consider it.”

A pink tongue comes out to wet Baekhyun’s lips. “And afterwards?”

It’s now or never.

Chanyeol locks their eyes. “And then I’ll make you come harder than you can stand and pamper you afterwards.”

A soft glaze fills Baekhyun’s eyes and his face goes slack. Entranced. “Jesus,” he breathes.

Chanyeol smiles. He loosens his playful hold and reaches up, tapping Baekhyun’s cheek with two fingers. “But you need to get healed up first.”

Baekhyun whines so dramatically he tips to the side and falls off onto the mattress like one of those puppy TikToks Chanyeol watches on his breaks.

Yeah, he thinks contentedly watching Baekhyun wiggle. This is the one I love.

* * *

It takes time but Baekhyun heals. And Chanyeol learns. And somewhere in the middle of the weeks that span ahead, it sort of becomes… a group project. Because they’re all weirdly, adorably trusting like that.

Chanyeol is determined not to lay a hand on Baekhyun until he can be sure he knows what he’s doing. (Which may or may not have resulted in Sehun walking in one evening to find Kyungsoo lying on his stomach on the floor in nothing but a pair of black boxers, playing  COD with Minseok while Jongin used a medical marker he had borrowed from Jongdae to trace areas on his skin that are the safest to strike, teaching his audience of one. Sehun had loudly declared to the room that he needed a new friend group and then proceeded to cheerfully raid the fridge.)

It’s an interesting couple of weeks. And amid it all Chanyeol wants one thing to happen before anything else.

He wants to woo Baekhyun. Take him on the sappiest dates he can arrange. Because to him Baekhyun is more than a submissive; he’s a whole person and Chanyeol wants to pay attention to every part of him just as equally.

Which is how they end up walking hand in hand along the banks of the river one night, migrating between food stalls where Chanyeol can buy Baekhyun every snack his heart desires until he’s so full and floppy that Chanyeol declares it yet another success.

Now the karaoke… that had not been intended, but it’s something Baekhyun drags him to without hesitation on the way home. And if Chanyeol then proceeds to serenade Baekhyun with every single romantic drama soundtrack he can remember… well then that’s just the icing on the cake to see him blush and curl up into the couch of their small, rented room.

Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to feel loved. Treasured. Safe in his company. So that when the time comes to put him on his knees and cover his eyes and make his flesh bloom into the shape of Chanyeol’s handprints, that Baekhyun has no second guesses for his safety there.

“I want you to be able to let go,” Chanyeol says abruptly while Baekhyun thumbs through the plastic-covered book of songs on his lap. It causes the other boy to look up.

“On what? My pitch?”

“No,” Chanyeol smiles. “Just with me.”

The connotation sinks in and Baekhyun smiles, looking down at his lap. His neck is spotless again these days, fresh and perfect. “I’d like that,” Baekhyun replies quietly, flicking a page in an attempt to seem nonchalant. Chanyeol, delighted, knows better. He’s figured out a few buttons to push in the last few weeks and he likes to use them occasionally.

Chanyeol shuffles closer and draws the book away, tossing it behind them onto the couch. Then he slings a leg over Baekhyun’s exposed lap and straddles him, both palms going to the wall on either side of Baekhyun’s head. Caged. And Chanyeol smiles, long and slow. “Really?”

It’s astonishingly easy how Baekhyun can slip-slide over the lip and into that first tumble towards subspace, just at the littlest things Chanyeol does. It’s like he’s anticipating the feeling of submission and just the slightest hint of what’s to come turns him on.

Chanyeol hasn’t even kissed him yet.

Baekhyun blinks those beautiful eyes up at Chanyeol. “I’d do anything you asked,” he says softly.

That thought dances through Chanyeol, setting every last nerve on fire. The knowledge that Baekhyun; sassy, feisty, energetic Baekhyun would do what Chanyeol asked of him in special moments… it’s a thrill like no other. “Really? Why?” Chanyeol asks teasingly, pressing close to nose up underneath Baekhyun’s ear and although they’ve only cuddled so far this move usually raises goosebumps. Chanyeol knows; he’s been making mental notes.

“Because I feel-” Baekhyun inhales sharply, tipping his head to one side. “I feel content with you. Like I could get high on your control and you’d never let me fall. I don’t have to worry about where to stop because you’ll do that for me. I can just… fly.”

Chanyeol smiles against Baekhyun’s skin, faint excited tremors running through him at that image. He nudges Baekhyun’s earlobe with his nose, leaving a warm breath on it as he draws away to see that shivers that he leaves.

This power it’s… amazing. Chanyeol might be a little in love with the idea of making sure Baekhyun has the best time he possibly can. So much pleasure. Baekhyun looks halfway to fucked out already. He laughs as Chanyeol withdraws and it comes out breathless.

“You tease.”

Chanyeol lifts off him and settles back at Baekhyun’s side on the couch, grinning. “I just want you to be sure you want this.”

Baekhyun gives him the strongest ‘you’re so dumb’ look he’s ever managed. It sets Chanyeol into peals of laughter and Baekhyun fends off his flailing with a practised ease that speaks volumes.

It’s when Chanyeol calms down into little hiccoughing giggles that Baekhyun leans across and kisses him.

Chanyeol melts. He reaches up to cup Baekhyun’s cheek and is kissing back before thought enters his mind. There’s more lost time in that kiss than Chanyeol can ever remember passing but the emotion behind it as Baekhyun laps at his mouth with little flicks of his tongue says the pining was mutual. He begs entry and Chanyeol grants it to him, angling his head to better allow them to slot together. Perfectly.

Chanyeol sinks his teeth into Baekhyun’s lip, sucking until it feels hot and swollen and only then does he let it go to soothe the puffy flesh with his tongue . Baekhyun makes a high-pitched, needy whimper that goes straight to Chanyeol’s groin and god, even Chanyeol feels high at this. Just kissing. Just it being Baekhyun.

He eases Baekhyun back with gentle, firm hands even as he’s being peppered with tiny, adorable  kisses until their faces are too far apart to reach. Baekhyun’s soft mouth pouts at him.

Chanyeol’s heart trips over itself. He has to take a deep breath to settle down. “If the bouncer sees us on his next round we’ll get thrown out.”

Baekhyun raises a tempting eyebrow and no. Chanyeol is not thinking of making out with Baekhyun in public. He’s not…

The flush on Baekhyun’s dewy skin makes him look sinful. Edible. He winds his arms up above his head and twines his hands together for a long stretch that rides the hem of his shirt up. “What a shame.”

“You’re such a little brat,” Chanyeol laughs, grabbing a wrist and tugging Baekhyun to his feet. “What do I do with you?”

The look Baekhyun gives him is sultry. Hopeful. “Take me home?”

Chanyeol does.

* * *

Minseok is still out with the others. Chanyeol registers that as Baekhyun backs through the front doorway, hands all over Chanyeol as he tugs at both their clothing with furious impatience. When Chanyeol won’t raise his arms because he’s busy batting the door shut behind them Baekhyun puts both tiny hands to the fabric of Chanyeol’s shirt and tugs.

Chanyeol catches his wrists before the material can rip. “Hey. Not my favourite shirt,” he intones. “I need this for class.”

Baekhyun makes a frustrated sound. “I was trying to be dramatic. Not naked,” he whines. “Not fair.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “What makes you think you make the rules here tonight?”

There’s a faint kiss pressed to underneath his chin, followed by a swift nip of teeth. “I will unless you stop me.”

So that’s how much of a hellion he is. Something wild sparks in Chanyeol’s chest at that challenge and his little flame roars, fanned to life. In one swift move he squeezes the wrists in his grip and pulls them down, pinning Baekhyun’s hands between them as he shuffle-walks Baekhyun backwards, almost making him trip with the length of his own strides; he has to scamper double to keep up and it puts him off balance.

“You know you don’t hold any power here, right?” Chanyeol muses calmly. He can see the playful confusion in Baekhyun’s face; the cogs in his head whirring a million miles an hour as he tries to figure this out. To sidestep it like the cheeky ass he is. So Chanyeol just smiles serenely at him.

It throws Baekhyun off. And Chanyeol thrills with it. He counts down as he pushes Baekhyun through the door to his room and kicks it shut behind them. Baekhyun’s natural curiosity is unparalleled, which means...

Three…

Two…

One…

“Says who?” Baekhyun bats his eyes up at Chanyeol, even pinned as he is. He testing. Teasing. Trying his new dominant out for size. But Chanyeol is expecting this and he holds the final card. The most important one.

Whirling them both around, Chanyeol pins Baekhyun to the door and pushes those wrists in his grip up, using all his height advantage to raise Baekhyun up onto his tiptoes with the pull, stretching every muscle in Baekhyun’s body slowly, luxuriously until it feels perfect, like one of those early-morning stretches first thing right after you wake up. The  delicious kind that makes you shiver and shake as every previously-lax muscle gets pulled to use. Taught. Blood-filled and tingly.

Baekhyun’s mouth drops open and his head tips back, thumping against the door as he rides this pull until-

Chanyeol releases his grip and steps back, letting go entirely.

Baekhyun crumples back onto his own feet, dazed and wobbly. He looks up at Chanyeol, trying to puzzle out why he’s stopped so suddenly. Chanyeol crosses his arms, hooks the mem of his own shirt in his hands and pulls it up and off. Then he shrugs at Baekhyun. Cocky. Assured.

“Says me.” Chanyeol lets his gaze wander up and down Baekhyun’s shivering frame as he returns to normal. “Because if you don’t obey… I stop. Everything. Just like that.”

Understanding -pure, delighted, aroused understanding- floods Baekhyun’s face. His eyes fill with heat. “Damn,” he mutters, biting his lip. Outwitted in a way that means he gets what he wants if Chanyeol gets what he wants. A perfect feedback loop that puts Baekhyun in control of Chanyeol’s control.

Chanyeol waits patiently, letting his shirt drop to the floor. “Your choice after all,” he says, feigning boredom. Like he has a million other important things to do and Baekhyun is at the bottom of his list. He sees it raise goosebumps on Baekhyun’s skin to be dismissed like that.

It takes a second for Baekhyun to digest everything. And when the idea takes root in his mind he looks like he’s just been given the ultimate gift. Chanyeol’s heartrate doubles excitedly when he sees the realisation in Baekhyun’s face.

For the first time ever Baekhyun is his own safety net. He’s the one truly in control.

The moment that knowledge hits like a brick Chanyeol drops the pretence and crosses over, wrapping Baekhyun up in a warm hug.

A pair of arms comes up and squeezes Chanyeol tightly. Baekhyun buries himself into Chanyeol’s chest, choking out a laugh that sounds just a little wet. Dropping a cheek to rest against Baekhyun’s hair, Chanyeol rocks him and murmurs nonsense words, letting him process.

“Is this…” Baekhyun clears his throat, speaking still to somewhere near Chanyeol’s left nipple. “Really how it works?”

“I paid close attention to the blogs Jongin sent me to,” Chanyeol replies gently. “And everything he taught me. Yes. It really is.”

A soft, slow exhale ghosts across Chanyeol’s pectoral. “Wow.”

Turning his face slightly, Chanyeol presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s crown. “Ready for it to get even cooler?”

Baekhyun’s eyes appear, pink-rimmed and delighted as they peek up. “Yes?”

“Good.” Chanyeol lets him go, taking him by the hand and walking them to the bed. He pushes Baekhyun down into a sitting position, drops down and starts with his shoes, untying Baekhyun’s laces. “Tell me a safeword you want to use.”

Baekhyun sucks his bottom lip in thoughtfully, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling as Chanyeol removes first one shoe and then the other. With gentle, firm presses of his hands he slips Baekhyun’s socks off and massages his feet, making Baekhyun wiggle with the pressure.

“Um…” Baekhyun’s voice sounds dreamy as Chanyeol works up towards his ankles. “I never had to have one before so uh, maybe something like cucumber?”

Chanyeol sniggers. “You hate cucumbers.”

“Exactly.” Baekhyun pushes one of his bare feet towards Chanyeol’s chest, seeking warmth. “It works doesn’t it?”

“Sure,” Chanyeol replies happily. “Anything you want. Mine is going to be black.”

“Wait—what? You have one too? Why?”

Rubbing Baekhyun’s roaming feet obligingly, Chanyeol lets them go and stands up. “For the same reason as you. In case I feel uncomfortable or want to stop at any time.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun looks like this is news too. “I guess I never thought about a dominant needing to stop. But it makes sense though.”

Chanyeol hums, reaching around the back of his side table and withdrawing a postage box with his name on it. Baekhyun’s eyes immediately zero in on it and he draws his legs up and underneath himself, hopping onto all fours on the bed. It makes Chanyeol laugh.

“Don’t get so excited. Who’s to say it’s not my new textbooks for next term?”

Baekhyun wiggles his butt. “Jongin’s name is on the sender’s address,” he quips smugly.

Chanyeol tosses a sock at him. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“You’ve already opened it so it’s not a surprise for you.” Baekhyun drops onto his stomach and inches closer to the edge of the bed, stretching out an arm. “So what is it? Whips? Chains?”

“A muzzle,” Chanyeol grumbles, catching Baekhyun’s hand and threading their fingers together. That sends Baekhyun into peals of laughter and Chanyeol uses the distraction to inch the cardboard box a little way out of reach.

“But for now,” Chanyeol moves over and rolls a still giggling Baekhyun into a comma shape so he can sit down next to him. He’s immediately curled around. “Is there anything you don’t want me to do tonight?”

Sobering up, Baekhyun hooks his chin on Chanyeol’s thigh thoughtfully. “Like what?”

“Anywhere you don’t want me to touch or anything you don’t want me to make you do?”

Baekhyun’s gaze goes a little faraway at that and Chanyeol keeps their interlocked hands together to ground him. Finally Baekhyun speaks, voice small.

“Please don’t hit my back.”

Chanyeol swipes his thumb tenderly across the back of Baekhyun’s smaller hand. “I won’t. I promise. I wasn’t intending to if that helps any. It’s not really safe.”

Baekhyun nods, chin pressing into the meat of Chanyeol’s thigh. “Thank you. Other than that uh, maybe don’t cut me tonight? I don’t think I want that right now. No blood.”

Chanyeol nods. “Thank you for telling me. Well done. Now, any requests?”

Those same eyes flick up instantly. A faint blush blooms and Chanyeol knows exactly where Baekhyun’s thoughts have shifted. He waits to hear him say it out loud though.

“Humiliate me,” Baekhyun whispers. “Degrade me. Please. Spank me until I cry and then don’t stop. Make me come. Use me as much as you want.”

There was a time when hearing that request come out of Baekhyun’s mouth might have frightened Chanyeol. But not anymore. Not now that he knows how to do this. And how to do it safely.

All he feels now is heat. Arousal. Focus.

Baekhyun is scanning his face and he must really like what he sees because he pushes up, climbing Chanyeol like a tree until he can cup his face, nuzzling warm breath against his cheek. “And what do you want?”

Chanyeol’s eyes slip shut. “I want to get you high.”

Baekhyun full-body shivers. He presses against Chanyeol’s side, grinding  slowly up against him and fuck… he’s hard.

“And?” Baekhyun’s words are whispered into Chanyeol’s ear. “What do you want me to call you? Master? Sir?” He sniggers, licking an earlobe, “Sire? My liege? Daddy?”

“Oh god shut up.” Chanyeol chuckles, voice low. He’s not automatically earned the right to an official title from a sub; baby doms start small. Jongin had been adamant about this and Chanyeol has thought long and hard. He turns his head so his mouth hovers over Baekhyun’s, centimetres apart.

“Call me Loey.”

Baekhyun shivers.

“Now undress for me, sweetheart.”

* * *

Baekhyun looks incredibly good naked. Chanyeol did not expect the sudden need to devour every part of him, to press his mouth to every inch and lick, nibble, bite to be so strong when he sees all of Baekhyun spread out for the first time.

Baekhyun finally drops the last of his underwear over the side of the bed and covers himself with his delicate hands, teasingly shy since Chanyeol has deliberately left his own boxers on. “Your expressions... wow.”

Chanyeol startles out of his thoughts, heat crawling up his neck. “You look so good,” he admits, looking down at Baekhyun sprawled across his sheets. “Controlling myself is going to be hard.” He stands up, moving for the box that had so intrigued Baekhyun before. “I’m going to need a little help, I think.”

When Baekhyun peeks, Chanyeol lets him look this time. The items clink and swish as he brings them out, washed yesterday carefully and set aside to dry as per Jongin’s instructions, along with an item or two from Chanyeol’s own wardrobe. And now Baekhyun’s eyes track them as Chanyeol places everything on the bedside table.

However when Baekhyun reaches out a hand again, Chanyeol catches that wrist. “Only I touch these. When I pick the first thing up it means I’m going to start. I need you to tell me you understand.”

A flash of confusion colours Baekhyun’s voice. “Okay?”

“You need to know the beginning,” Chanyeol says carefully. “So no one can ever touch you outside that with just implied consent.” Another thing both Jongin and Kyungsoo had been vocal about. Scenes were scenes. Outside was outside. No excuses for striking anyone under blurred lines.

Baekhyun finally nods in understanding. “Oh. Okay. I get it now.” Chanyeol releases the wrist in his grasp and Baekhyun withdraws, carefully laying back on the bed. “Do you need me to uh, tell you to start?”

Chanyeol’s smile is warm. “You always should.”

A pink tongue wets Baekhyun’s lips and his next words come out breathy. “A word or a pose or...?”

“Anything you want, baby.”

“Baby slut,” Baekhyun breathes. “I like that best.” Slowly, he raises his hands above his head onto the pillow and deliberately links his fingers. “You have me. All of me.”

Chanyeol eyes the deliberate pose and nods slowly. Then he reaches into his pile of toys and withdraws the first item. Unable to bring himself to trust rope yet, he had decided on something softer to tie his submissive up.

Baekhyun tracks the silk university ties with wide eyes. “That’s just dirty,” he whispers. “Wrapping me up in the same things you wear to our award ceremonies?”

Chanyeol smiles, letting the striped silk trail over Baekhyun’s hands and then down this upraised arms, along his stretched muscles until he reaches his chest. Goosebumps spring up in its wake and Baekhyun shivers faintly, automatically moving to cover his nipples against the ticklish sensation.

Chanyeol is waiting for that and ready. One palm is easily enough width to pin both of Baekhyun’s hands and Chanyeol yanks the tie around both of them with his free hand, looping close around the wrists and leaving a short length in the middle. Baekhyun’s eyebrows climb as Chanyeol tucks the remaining trailing ends underneath the wrist loops.

“I can uh…” Baekhyun angles both hands to show that he can easily untie himself, reaching both tucked ends with the opposite hand twisted around and the slack in the middle. Chanyeol nods.

“You’re supposed to. If you can’t get out of anything I put you in then I’ve done it wrong. But that part in the middle isn’t for you. It’s for me.” Sliding back onto the bed Chanyeol hooks a leg over Baekhyun’s thighs, climbs over and settles on the other side of him. He rolls Baekhyun onto his side, facing away. “You can do it this time but I’ll be doing t it later on. Legs up and through. Hands to your back. There’s enough slack for it.”

With a small squeak Baekhyun complies, lifting his legs and drawing them through the caged loop of his arms and bringing his wrists up behind his back. Chanyeol pushes him all the way onto his stomach with a pleased hum. “Well done. I want to be able to move your wrists to your front or back without untying you.”

Baekhyun wiggles on his tummy, pushing his butt up a fraction invitingly. His hands with their little bit of extra tie between them frame the tops of his cheeks invitingly and Chanyeol can feel the first stirrings of how hard he’s going to be dealing with such a delicious boy. He leans up to place his mouth against Baekhyun’s ear.

“You look so good after doing exactly what I said. See how easy it is just to follow my instructions?” He takes a juicy earlobe between his teeth and closes his teeth around it. Baekhyun jerks at the brief flash of pain, the feeling of his warmth against Chanyeol’s own skin making him exhale, popping the lobe out with a wet lick. “What do you tell me when I give you an order?”

Baekhyun whimpers. “Yes Loey.”

“My baby slut,” Chanyeol whispers approvingly. “Should I tattoo that on you one day? A tramp stamp that anyone can see if you bend over? Property of Loey? How precious.”

Baekhyun’s intake wobbles, tiny, needy sounds filling it; the idea excites him even if they both know they’ll never do it. Chanyeol loves how easily he can be guided like this with just words and scraps of silk so far. He twitches inside his underwear, cock starting to fill.

With Baekhyun now in position Chanyeol rises to his knees and settles one on either side of Baekhyun’s calves. Then he demonstrates exactly what the tie’s extra width is for.

Planting the palm of his left hand on the stretched-out width of tie between Baekhyun’s wrists, Chanyeol applies pressure, curling his fingers around it to hold it steady. Baekhyun realises what’s going on and automatically yanks both hands to test but Chanyeol’s hold is firm, keeping the material in place against Baekhyun’s back. His arms are pinned.

“If you want my hand to release just tap it. Otherwise I’ll move you where I like and hold you down for as long as I want.”

Baekhyun goes limp, moan muffled into the pillow. Chanyeol immediately reaches forward and tugs Baekhyun’s head to one side, settling him on one cheek.

“I need you to breathe properly. If you hyperventilate you could pass out.” Two fingers tap Baekhyun’s cheek to make sure the message settles in. “What do you say?”

“Yes si—Loey.”

Chanyeol’s heart softens. “Can you hold off calling me sir?”

Baekhyun rubs the pillow with his cheek like a kitten, dreamily pulling at the hold Chanyeol has on him. “I can try.”

Stretching brings Chanyeol close to Baekhyun’s face; he kisses the spot his fingers were just on. “Okay. I won’t be cross if you slip up, just this once.”

Baekhyun’s cheek puffs up. “I’m so hard,” he whispers, licking his lips. “Just from this.”

“We’ve barely started,” Chanyeol whispers back, nosing along under one eye. “Don’t tell me you’re this easy.”

Baekhyun full-body wiggles. “Try me.”

Chanyeol’s flame sparks at that and his focus narrows, becoming all Baekhyun. Only Baekhyun. Drawing back Chanyeol keeps his hold in place and reaches for his pile of items, quickly placing one behind himself while Baekhyun is distracted testing his hold. Then he returns to find the cutest little butt pushing up again.

“If I never spanked you,” Chanyeol muses teasingly out loud. “You’d think me really cruel.”

Baekhyun whines at this thought. “No please,” he pants, attempting to arch his back under the strength of Chanyeol’s hand against his wrists. “Please. I told you I want to be hit. I like the pain. I-”

Chanyeol’s hand comes down when Baekhyun least expects it, open palm meeting soft flesh with a crack that echoes around the small room.

Baekhyun’s head pops up, mouth open as he gasps.

“Fuck!”

Chanyeol swaps direction, striking backhanded to catch the other cheek and Baekhyun’s thighs spread between his own as much as they can as his body automatically tries to escape the pain, even as Baekhyun pushes towards it. It’s so fucking hot Chanyeol bites his tongue to keep from saying anything. Instead he strokes again where the first pink mark has blossomed, feeling heat under his fingers as Baekhyun’s little sounds and swears work up to howls with each strike.

Chanyeol praises him after every second smack, making sure to up his strength a fraction as he does and in the end Baekhyun sobs out a tear-stuffed little ‘thank you’ each time. Wanting to be good. Wanting that pain and that praise to intermingle in his mind until each feeds the other and Chanyeol carefully keeps track of it all, pushing him down onto the bed by the wrists each time he arches too high.

When Baekhyun’s skin feels burned to the touch Chanyeol reaches back behind himself, fingers curling around Jongin’s first gift. After long discussions with Kyungsoo this had seemed the best option and Chanyeol picks it up.

“Oh baby, you’ve done so well. Fucking excellent. Took everything I gave you like the most perfect pain slut. So I’m is going to reward you. You get six rewards and I want you to count them out for me.”

Baekhyun sniffs, unable to stop moving, writhing against the sheets. That’s not an answer so Chanyeol drops the item and stretches up and over Baekhyun, sliding a hand underneath his neck and taking hold. Firmly he raises Baekhyun’s head. “Baby?”

Baekhyun’s eyes are glazed with a mixture of pure arousal and the first traces of the kind of high Chanyeol has only heard about in books. He looks like it’s taking him a second to process words. Finally he nods.

“Presents. I can count to six.”

“Good boy. Because only the best sluts get this present, okay?”

Baekhyun’s teeth sink into his lower lip and he nods, humming. “Feel so good. I want it. Want everything.”

“You’re going to get it. I promise. Loey’s going to take care of you so much.” Chanyeol’s grip releases and he straightens back up. Picking up the toy one more time he calls out lightly. “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun turns his head. When he sees what Chanyeol has his pupils blow out so fast it makes him look like a kitten on catnip.

“Oh god. Please.”

Fuck. It takes everything in Chanyeol not to touch himself to relieve the pressure that’s building. For Baekhyun to want this so much, to want Chanyeol to control this for him… Jesus.

“Count for me baby.”

The small flogger is a deep, dark red and Chanyeol had liked the colour the moment Jongin had shown it to him on the website. The thin straps are softer than almost anything else on the market, allowing for maximum pain with the least amount of impact damage. Perfect in Chanyeol’s mind to start out. He taps the swollen, red flesh on Baekhyun’s butt a few times, just to hear the sounds Baekhyun makes and then flicks his wrist sharply.

Baekhyun’s cry is cut off hallway through as he chokes on his own breath at the strike. Chanyeol smiles, holding Baekhyun down as he processes the hurt and melts into a moaning puddle. There’s almost no mark on Baekhyun’s skin which pleases him but his whimpers tell how hard it carried him along and Chanyeol’s flame doubles in delight.

After a few seconds Baekhyun whimpers out a soft, stunned, “One.”

Chanyeol rubs the sting away with a couple of fingers. “So good. What does your safeword end in?”

Baekhyun’s floating mind absolutely does not follow that. Chanyeol waits patiently until Baekhyun manages to connect the dots. “R,” he whispers.

Chanyeol rewards him immediately, bringing the flogger down in the same spot across Baekhyun’s cheeks.

“Oh! Fuck. Fuck. Two,” Baekhyun’s words come out a little sharper this time, riding the pain better.

Chanyeol approves, rumbling a happy growl in his chest. “My perfect baby slut.”

The third strike deliberately hits a fraction lower, on skin Chanyeol hasn’t warmed up with his hands prior. The very tops of Baekhyun’s plush thighs.

Baekhyun bucks, hands straining, head bowing back as his trapped legs spread another inch as far as they’re allowed, flashing his pretty pink hole and tight balls. His only sounds are cries of delight and Chanyeol has been told this is what to look out for; if Baekhyun floats like this. He’s on the right track and that gives Chanyeol renewed courage.

“If you don’t keep up with me I’m going to stop.”

Tears are falling freely, silently now as Baekhyun grits his teeth and pants. He shakes his head and Chanyeol finds himself smirking. He flips the flogger and taps the blunt end on Baekhyun’s abused butt.

“Stopping in three, two, on-”

“Three!” Baekhyun howls. “L-loey it’s three.”

Bending at the waist, Chanyeol plants a hot kiss on Baekhyun’s back. “If you want me to keep going and finish it’s going to be quicker. Tell me if you want this.”

Every little exhale of Baekhyun’s is a faint moan, tiny uh uh uh sounds that make Chanyeol so fucking hard. He kisses again, waiting for Baekhyun’s decision.

“Yes sir.”

Chanyeol ignores the slip like he promised, immediately straightening and flicking the flogger once, twice, three times hard across Baekhyun’s ass. At the same time he releases his hold on Baekhyun’s wrists, letting him convulse.

Baekhyun screams his pleasure; floating and pushed high as a kite, somewhere in that fluffy space Chanyeol knows he’s a part of right now. Chanyeol lets him move, rolling him onto his side and slipping Baekhyun’s bound arms below his bent, curled legs with ease as Baekhyun isn’t tracking much right now. He draws Baekhyun up onto wobbly knees. Then Chanyeol kisses him. He reaches around and squeezes a handful of burning, plump flesh.

Baekhyun comes, thick and wet and unexpected, bucking against Chanyeol as he floats, a loop of and pain and ecstasy and sensation. He spurts over Chanyeol’s abs and stomach, a litany of pleasure-drunk sounds falling from him.

Jesus. Chanyeol has never been this hard in his life. But he’s not finished and Baekhyun can float a little longer while he works. He reaches around Baekhyun, scooping up another toy and the tube of lube Jongin had thrown into the box as a kind special.

Coating his fingers as Baekhyun pants against his chest, drifting where he wants to be most, Chanyeol dips his wet fingers down. The moment they brush Baekhyun’s cheeks he hisses at the pain, jerking. But Chanyeol keeps him still, running a soothing opposite hand up and down his back. “It’s okay baby. Hold still.  Spread your legs for me.”

Baekhyun sniffles and shuffles his legs apart, bound hands curling into fists against Chanyeol’s chest. Circling, Chanyeol feels the heat of Baekhyun’s hole nestled between his marked cheeks. He presses there, just letting him feel. “I’m going to make sure you’re prepped for me, like a perfect little baby slut needs to always be.”

Baekhyun nods, mouthing at Chanyeol’s skin like he wants to suck on something. Chanyeol feeds him an obliging finger as he pushes inside, breeching Baekhyun at both ends simultaneously. He’s given a choking mewl in return, Baekhyun wriggling at the feeling of being given too much enjoyment to process where he is right now. Chanyeol chuckles against his damp hair. “You want to know what this is for, sweetheart?”

Baekhyun winds his tongue around Chanyeol’s finger, sucking harder. His hips roll back and forth, fucking himself. Chanyeol lowers his mouth as he pumps his lubed digit in and out a few more times, pressing and squeezing in a second alongside it into the warm channel of heat and muscle. “My baby is going to go to sleep tonight full of his dominant. I want to stay a part of you until you wake up and I can fuck you as hard as you want the moment I feel like it.”

Baekhyun squeezes his eyes shut, nodding fast. His slick, swollen lips pop off Chanyeol’s finger just enough to mumble a litany of ‘yes’s before he’s back to suckling, grinding into the mess he’s made of Chanyeol’s stomach. It’s so decadent Chanyeol is leaking, sticking to his underwear. Fuck. He draws on a little more control and withdraws his fingers, picking up the toy he’s chosen.

The little egg is baby blue; perfect for Baekhyun and his fascination with soft colours. Chanyeol was quite pleased with this purchase. He makes sure the string below it is hanging loose and then pushes the dildo up between Baekhyun’s cheeks, pressing just the tip inside.

Baekhyun’s tired cock gives a feeble jump at that and Baekhyun immediately spreads his legs a little more, eager to feel full. He laps at the divide between Chanyeol’s first and second finger until Chanyeol feeds him another into his needy mouth.

“God you’re so beautiful like this.” Chanyeol rasps, watching his precious baby take everything so well.

The egg slips inside, Baekhyun’s muscles not even protesting as it settles tucked into position in his ass; only a long, drawn out sound from Baekhyun and another wiggle of his hips shows how happy he is. Chanyeol gathers the cord and keeps it carefully out of the way as he withdraws his other fingers in a trail of slick spit and eases Baekhyun back onto the bed, intent on cleaning him up while he gets used to the toy inside him - but Baekhyun flails a little and drags Chanyeol forward up his body until he’s high enough for Baekhyun to mouth at his clothed cock.

Chanyeol threads a hand through Baekhyun’s tear-streaked hair and balances on his knees. “I had more planned for you, baby slut,” he murmurs fondly. “More toys too. But you were a little pent up.”

Baekhyun is still contentedly non-verbal, nuzzling at Chanyeol’s clothed dick like it’s his favourite treat. After a little contemplation Chanyeol eases the hem of his boxers down and pulls out his cock. “Is this what you want, hmm?”

Baekhyun whines softly as Chanyeol angles down towards his mouth, lips and tongue eager and pliant.

“You want me to fuck your mouth? Use you while you’re like this? Would that get you even higher little baby?”

Baekhyun nudges his head up under Chanyeol’s hand and he takes the hint; threading his fingers into Baekhyun’s hair and feeding him his cock, inch by inch. Jeez he’s dripping so much by now. Some of the precum smears on Baekhyun’s chin and Chanyeol—fuck, he loves that sight.

Baekhyun sucks Chanyeol in deep, throat relaxed and impatient to be filled as Chanyeol groans at the sensation of being taken so fucking well. He’s never—head shouldn’t be this perfect. Chanyeol bucks his hips; warmth and thick, squeezing wetness coating him from root to tip and for all his talk of Baekhyun being pent up… Chanyeol drags Baekhyun off a few inches and then pushes him back when he whimpers. “Fuck, you really do want this? All of me?” His thighs are shaking.

A thin breath through Baekhyun’s nose and then a nod. Chanyeol tightens his grip and thrusts in again and again, knees locking as Baekhyun’s resulting moan rumbles along his length, his cheeks hollow and—jesus. He’s only human and having Byun Baekhyun sucking anyone off would be cause for hedonism and far, far too little stamina. He just fucking can’t—

Chanyeol cups Baekhyun’s chin, pushing a thumb in alongside his cock as he face-fucks a delighted, floaty Baekhyun into his own orgasm, pulling down firmly to watch his come overflow and spill out in pearly lines that cover his sub while Chanyeol shakes; because he can’t have Baekhyun accidentally choke while he’s like this.

And Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind the mess, letting it fall as he laps and licks at Chanyeol’s softening dick, not caring how much of it gets on his face. Chanyeol’s heart swells at how delighted and fucked-out he looks even with what few items they managed to get through. His eyes drift to the O-ring that sits forgotten on the bedside table and he makes a mental promise to Baekhyun to get to that, since he seems to like his mouth getting abused so much.

But right now Chanyeol has an armful of floppy, shivering sub that is starting to realise he’s covered in cooling come and wants cuddles. Luckily Jongin’s box covered that part too and Chanyeol pulls out a bottle of water, some wet-wipes and a granola bar.

A quick check to Baekhyun’s butt and thighs shows no broken skin, just a crisscross of raised welted lines that Chanyeol knows Baekhyun will love when he discovers them in the morning. Cleaning Baekhyun while he’s clingy and snuggly is a task in itself but Chanyeol quickly finds out that if he kisses Baekhyun and gently rubs his stuffed butt he becomes soft enough to be wiped down.

The water bottle that Baekhyun pouts at is cracked open and Chanyeol lets him suckle from that while he tugs off the top sheet and balls it up in the corner for washing. The granola bar is wheedled and finally gnawed on and Chanyeol reminds himself to make a check online for tips and tricks with subs who don’t want to eat after scenes.

But they’re both finally reasonably clean and Chanyeol can settle in for proper cuddles without worrying about Baekhyun’s thirst levels or that he’s out of his sight. The moment he’s prone Chanyeol has a Baekhyun-sized octopus on top of him.

With one hand he pushes the bangs back off Baekhyun’s forehead. “Hi there,” Chanyeol says quietly. He bops Baekhyun’s nose just to see his face scrunch adorably, then wipes the semi-dried tear tracks away with his thumb.

Baekhyun stretches languidly atop him with a happy hum. It makes Chanyeol huff a laugh.

“Still not back with me yet?”

Baekhyun’s smile is radiant. Eyes half-moons, he shakes his head and snuggles in under Chanyeol’s chin. The urge to protect swells up in Chanyeol again, impossibly fierce as he draws his arms up and cocoons Baekhyun carefully, rubbing his bare back.

“If I’d known this was what it took to make you quiet I’d have done it years ago.”

Apparently Baekhyun isn’t too out of it not to snigger and pinch Chanyeol’s armpit.

Chanyeol waits until Baekhyun is dozing off and then rolls him gently to one side, turning him so he is on his left. Then he carefully and gently raises Baekhyun’s right leg until his foot is on the mattress, knee up.

Baekhyun rouses a little at this but Chanyeol had expected him to. Especially when he trails up Baekhyun’s thigh, following the direction of the string.

“Like I promised,” Chanyeol whispers. “You and me for tonight.” With soft fingers he withdraws the toy and then takes himself in hand, slipping a condom from his side drawer on. He won’t be more than half-hard until his refractory period kicks in but that’s enough firmness for him to guide his cock to Baekhyun’s hole and push inside, breaching him with a soft exhale of pleasure.

Baekhyun feels amazing. And the little, high-pitched gasp Baekhyun makes as he’s filled is enough to almost send Chanyeol into the mood for a second round. But his baby needs time and that’s what Chanyeol wants to give him. Time and comfort.

He bottoms out with a little shuffling and pressing, sinking down behind Baekhyun until they’re flush and he can let Baekhyun’s upraised leg relax. Baekhyun sighs in contentment.

“I really have you, don’t I?” Baekhyun finally murmurs.

Chanyeol settles in against the back of his neck, the snug warmth of Baekhyun's body cradling his cock, nipping the skin against his mouth. “Since day one.”

* * *

Eagle-eyed Baekhyun notices the O-ring first thing in the morning because Chanyeol didn’t think to put it away in the midst of everything else. He’s turning it over in his fingers as Chanyeol wakes up behind him.

“Morning.”

Chanyeol yawns deeply, rubbing one eye. “You’re entertained.”

Baekhyun shuffles over so he’s facing Chanyeol, who slips out of him in the process; they’d both been so worn out they’d slept right through the night. Whoops. So much for midnight shenanigans.

“You really bought these things for me?”

“Jongin and Kyungsoo helped,” Chanyeol replies. “They gave me suggestions for my ideas. I wanted you to have fun.”

Baekhyun levels him with a soft, shy look. “I did. Thank you.”

“I promise it’ll be a little more involved next time. I’ll get some more toys and try some more things and-”

A slender finger cuts him off. Baekhyun looks like he’s about to burst with affection. “You don’t have to be fancy, I promise. As long as it’s you I’m going to be happy.”

Emotion fills up the space behind Chanyeol’s eyes, making them feel hot. “Really? Even though I didn’t wake up and-”

“Really. No one is perfect the first time.” Baekhyun reaches up above them and flicks his wrist. A paper post-it falls down. Then another and another. Finally it’s raining post-it notes and Baekhyun is laughing. “And I certainly don’t think you need these anymore.”

Chanyeol puffs away one piece that’s landed on his face, snags Baekhyun’s arm and brings one hand to his mouth. He kisses the knuckles there. “I’ll always be learning. I promise. It’s what you deserve.”

Baekhyun blinks rapidly; his eyes are sparkly. “Tell me that again the first night you come inside me okay?”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot towards his bangs. “Now who’s the sappiest one here?” he goads, sniggering as Baekhyun tugs up a spare pillow and attempts to smother him with it.

"I’m allowed!” Baekhyun removes the pillow, kisses him and then shoves it back into place. Chanyeol’s muffled laughter drifts up.

“Fine, fine,” Chanyeol concedes. “Uncle.”

Baekhyun tosses the pillow away. “Look at me dominating my dominant. Aren’t I-”

His words dissolve into a squeak as Chanyeol rolls his eyes and hefts Baekhyun up under the arms and over one shoulder, jostling them both out of bed so he can carry him into the shower fireman style, Baekhyun’s delighted cackling trailing in their wake.

* * *

Minseok throws them a stupendously exorbitant party the following week. The banner reads 'It's about fucking time!'

Kyungsoo decorates their room with balloons shaped like dildos and handcuffs, much to Baekhyun’s sheer delight. Sehun brings in all the cake his part time job at the campus bakery allows him to carry and mysterious parcels continue to turn up from the same website Chanyeol ordered from the first time without him remembering having placed any further orders. When confronted Jongin sticks his fingers in his ears and tells them both to enjoy themselves, it’s his shout.

Chanyeol honestly couldn’t wish for a better set of friends. Because then life as he knows it goes back to being as innocuously normal as he could wish for. Somehow he’d been convinced he would from here on out walk around with a neon sign over his head flashing ‘NOT VANILLA’ to everyone who meets him but that isn’t the case. He’s still Park Chanyeol; very tall, occasionally dorky, bouncy and full of laughter. He still plays PUBG on the weekends and works way too many hours handing out tiny card packs and glitter trolls. He calls his mom once a week to see if she needs a hand with anything and he still for the life of him can’t fix the machine in the back of the arcade.

Only now he has a boyfriend.

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun dart about the arcade while he, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are covering one afternoon shift.

“You’re making doe eyes again,” Kyungsoo teases as he comes back from feeding another roll of paper tickets into each of the shooter games. “They’ll fall out at this rate.”

Chanyeol knows his cheeks heat up but he doesn’t stop watching Baekhyun show one of the kids how to properly shoot a basketball for maximum points. “I don’t care.”

Kyungsoo laughs, content. And Chanyeol doesn’t mind because his eyes are fixed on Baekhyun’s left wrist. On it sits a familiar, multi-coloured snap band. Baekhyun touches it sometimes; rubbing his fingers along it tenderly.

Maybe no one in the world needs to know what they are after all.

Because they do. And that’s what counts.

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun straighten up from helping the kid and then look around to see where else he could be needed. There’s a thumping sound coming from the back where the ancient street fighter game sits; someone is obviously kicking it for that free level.

Chanyeol sees Baekhyun walk a few steps towards that corner and then stop. He just… freezes in place. It makes Chanyeol straighten up, frowning.

What’s wrong?

When Baekhyun doesn’t move Chanyeol finally slips out from behind the counter and walks over. His hand on the small of Baekhyun’s back makes him jump.

Chanyeol tries to find what has him so unsettled. “What is it?”

Baekhyun lifts a finger and points. “It’s him.”

Chanyeol follows the direction. Sure enough in front of the arcade game stands a broad, hefty man and a companion. Chanyeol scans him from head to toe; he’s dressed like someone who spends a lot of time in rough areas. With a gentle push of his hand he goes to turn Baekhyun away. “You don’t have to do anything-”

“No,” Baekhyun cuts him off. “I do. Look.”

The boy at this man’s side could have emerged as a carbon copy of Baekhyun; slender, delicate and fair-haired. Obviously this guy has a type. But what Baekhyun is referring to isn’t his appearance… it’s the cuts and bruises up and down his arms and the haunted, nervous look in his eyes. The thick, far-too-tight collar around his neck that he tugs at occasionally.

Baekhyun moves to walk forward but Chanyeol angles him towards the boy instead. “I can give you a minute.”

Baekhyun’s ex is pounding away at the machine with one foot, kicking it harder than Chanyeol has ever seen anyone bother to. Without pause Chanyeol moves around the machine to the back, reaches down and flicks the power switch off.

“Hey!”

Chanyeol straightens up slowly. “Out of luck,” he says flatly. “Time’s up.”

“No it’s not! I was just playing! What the fuck man?”

Chanyeol crosses his arms. “What part of stop don’t you understand?”

The man puffs out his chest, eyes narrowing. “Who died and made you god? Turn it back on.”

With a pitying look Chanyeol sticks out a foot and tugs the power cord from the wall. “You don’t play like that here,” he says firmly.

The man’s mouth drops as he tries to see deeper into Chanyeol’s meaning; his eyes scan him quickly from head to toe. “Who the fuck-”

Baekhyun’s voice cuts in from behind him and the man whirls around at the sound of it.

“It’s your turn to listen for once.” Baekhyun says, voice angrier than Chanyeol’s ever heard it. “He and I both know what you are and what you pretend to be.” Baekhyun indicates his phone, now in the hands of the new boy. It’s open to the image gallery. “This is what you did to me when I was under your ‘care’. No one should ever go through that and now he knows too.”

Sneering, Baekhyun’s ex jabs a finger in his face. “And who is going to believe you? A worthless, useless piece of-”

Kyungsoo steps around the corner. “I believe him.” His voice is calm, unwavering. “And so does my dominant. You can be sure we’ll make it known around town in the clubs. You’d be pleased to know one of our play partners is a policeman…”

Having seen enough, the boy hands Baekhyun’s phone back with shaking fingers and a white face. In one quick move he’s unclasped the collar with a wounded arm, spinning and striding for the door. With a furious howl Baekhyun’s ex moves to lash out at the game beside him and run after but Chanyeol steps in between, blocking the man.

“Are we making ourselves crystal clear?”

The man snarls, fists curling tight. But he can still count the odds and has no choice but to back up and nod, flipping them all off before stomping away.

Baekhyun sinks, relieved. “Thank you.” He seems to shake off something like a bad dream as Chanyeol moves to sling an arm around his shoulders, tugging him back to rest against his chest. “I think I really needed to do that.”

“I think that boy needed you to as well.”

Kyungsoo has his phone out, thumbs moving over the keypad. “I have a sudden urge to get dressed up and go out with Jongin for the first time,” he mutters wryly. “I’ll let you know the result of our very many conversations tonight.”

Baekhyun lets his weight settle against Chanyeol, clasping both hands to the forearm Chanyeol has around his chest. The snap band twinkles in the arcade lighting with the move and Chanyeol pecks a tiny kiss onto his hair. “This time I owe you a squishy ball, Soo.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, smiling. “Jongin is still two in debt. I’m collecting tonight.”

Baekhyun hoots, reaching out a foot to poke at Kyungsoo’s knee. “Send me photos.”

“Please don’t corrupt my sub,” Chanyeol laughs as Kyungsoo nods. “I’ve still got to get him to behave.”

“I totally behave!” Baekhyun stretches out an arm for Kyungsoo and tugs him in for a hug so suddenly that Chanyeol has armfuls of them both. Baekhyun snuggles in the impromptu double hold. Kyungsoo gives Chanyeol a quick wink above his head.

“Did you get Jongin’s latest parcel? The one with all the gags and blindfolds?”

A soft, indignant ‘hey’ floats up from between them and Chanyeol can’t help it; he doubles over with giggles.

Scratch his epiphany from before. Maybe having friends who were comfortable with their kinky side was excellent too.