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Maybe That’s What I Wanna See
✿ author: masaringo for baeconandeggs
✿ genre: romance, angst, smut, break up/make up, coffe shop AU
✿ length: oneshot / ~10k
✿ rating: NC-17
✿ side pairing: suchen
✿ summary: Baekhyun had a gift. Chanyeol didn’t believe him.
[ AO3 ]
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I hold on to hope.
I close my eyes and clench on to the feeling of, “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
Of course though, everything’s wonderful. I’ve got a great career. I’ve got a loving, supporting family. I’ve got the best friends I could ever ask for. I live an amazing life as is.
Yet here I am losing sleep over the fact that it’s been almost 5 years since my last relationship.. It gets lonely. Heck, it hurt me a little today, which is why I’m venting out through this blog entry. I hate to admit these things amidst the otherwise positive vibes of gratitude I’ve brought about the past couple of months.
But I grew so much in those 5 years. Sure I told myself I’d find “BAE 2015,″ but I always remember that ultimately I’ve got to keep doing me. As in, I have to stay as happy as I can be all by myself. (Although I’ve already been doing that forever now) So just maybe that if I do find “BAE 2016,” I’ll be an even better me for her to want to keep even more than the last year me would’ve been. And obviously I’m always wanting to be a better me for ME anyway.
I am grateful for everything I’ve got right now. I’m just holding on to hope that I can bring home a special someone for my parents to meet. A special someone I can give a little piece of me to. I’ve said this before, but I give myself already over to the people I love, the people close to me, the sick patients I take care of everyday, and the world around me.
I’m just craving to give that little piece of me to that special someone who deserves just that. Induce the prettiest smile that makes me melt inside through any means possible.. make her feel beautiful, make her laugh all the time. Like non stop and over the stupidest, silliest things. And shoot, likewise I hope she makes me laugh all the time too.
Side bar: Truthfully, non stop humor is the #1 thing I look for apart from beauty.. Lol
That’s the hope I hold onto.
