#badroommates

Here are some tips to help you deal with your unpleasant roommates:

Tell your roommates what bothers you ASAP---if they don’t listen contact your College Residence Life Please. Even if your roommate is the devil incarnate, you still need to talk out your differences like adults. I recommend directly communicating with them instead of using the petty tactic of leaving passive aggressive notes; it will only create more drama. First try talking it out and establish an agreement before going to your College’s Residence Life. If your roommate is still causing issues after multiple attempts, schedule a roommate meeting to solve this issue. Your roommate may be upset, but that’s not your issue; remember it’s their issue for not making it work in the first place.

If you are upset with your roommate, don’t create drama. Relax. I know how hard it is to pull yourself away from a situation when you’re upset, but it’s better to do something that will relax you, like binge watch a show at a friends dorm. The good thing is you have time to think about your thoughts and feelings, so you can come back and talk about it rationally with your roommate. If your roomie doesn’t listen and this is a frequent occurrence, try to have space from your roommate for the sake of your own mental health because your mental well-being is important. Here are some tips on relaxation.

You aren’t their maid or therapist. I fell into this trap during my sophomore year and it was completely draining, so please don’t clean up your roommates physical or emotional messes on a daily basis, especially if they are your “friends.” They should be able to clean up their own physical mess since they are adults. However, they shouldn’t rely on you to handle all their emotional baggage, since that’s the job of a professional therapist- not a college student. It’s okay if your roommate talks to you about issues in their lives, but only if it’s reciprocated; if not, set boundaries since your mental health is important.

Intimacy is cool, but if you see/hear it-that’s an issue. We all know that college brings new relationships, but if you see/hear your roommate having intimate moments on a regular basis-tell them. You should be able to share a space without being fearful of seeing your naked roommate and their partner, so establish a schedule for everyone in your dorm or a sign that you’re occupying the room. Trust me, your eyes and ears will thank me later.

Remember these Tips:

Tell your roommates what bothers you

If you are upset, try to relax yourself

Don’t clean up your roommates physical/emotional messes

Call your roommate out if you hear/see intimacy

If  anything is serious, please contact your college

Additional resources: https://bit.ly/2BHcy9c & https://bit.ly/2SGzi3L