#badnightssleep

The human world is dying and the people who have the most power to change it want to see it burn for their own gain, and the power of the people can’t do shit if we’re all too poor and mentally and physically unwell to even deal with the state of our current situation.

I have a story to tell. For the past 4-5 weeks, I have been sleeping on a cot in my home, next to my husband. My body does not like the cot. The fabric holds no warmth which in turn, makes my body cold and tense. My back, does not like this. When I try to get comfortable, well, who am kidding, there is no getting comfortable. Anyway, in our yard sits a camper belonging to a family member. In the camper is a very comfortable twin size mattress. My husband and I, in an attempt to relieve my persistent pain caused by aforementioned cot, decided to bring the twin sized mattress inside so I could sleep on a warm, comfortable place. Let me tell you, it was heaven. No springs jabbing into me. The mattress gave way to my shapely hips and allowed me to heat my back and relieve some tension. It was great! Awesome nights sleep. I woke up almost giddy. Then I started itching. So I scratch here and there thinking they are Mosquitos bites from the previous evening. Well, about a half hour goes by. My husband has left for work. I'm still itching and it's starting to become very irritated. So irritated in fact, I can no longer sleep. I do what any normal person does when trying to go back to sleep. I grab my phone to scroll through interwebz and try to slowly drift off back to sleep. Nope. In the light of my phone I saw a penny sized welt on my arm. Then I get up and find four more welts on my body. The mattress that was so good to me that night, HAD BEDBUGS! BED BUGS!!!! As soon as I realized I call upon my husband who is driving to work at this point of the story. It's before dawn. Early early morning. We both worked in the pest control industry before moving to #TheSouth, so we both knew exactly how serious the situation was and knew what had to happen next. So I grabbed hold of this lovely twin sized camper mattress and took it out. The mattress is now on my back porch. What at first seemed so promising, has turned to the worst possible scenario. I feel violated. I also feel as if I won't get a break. Then my husband reminds me that we have been gifted with an air mattress and bed set that should be here any day. I am truly excited about that. However, I cannot bring myself to get on the cot again. I look at it and I want to cry. I did cry after I removed the mattress. I have scoliosis. A curve in the spine. It effects my life tremendously. It hates the cot. Therefore, I hate the cot. On top of that, I had put the mattress on top of the cot so I didn't lose storage. I fear the cot now has bedbugs too. My husband says I caught it early enough for it to not be infected, but my mind is screaming at me not to touch it. My back is screaming, "please, anything but that cot." The worst thing happened out of such a great idea. My luck as of late as been less than desirable. I'm constantly wishing my life would get better. I don't want to focus on this, which is why I'm writing it out. It helps me let go. I feel so gross and invaded. I'm gonna go shower and try to enjoy my coffee now. By all means, let's laugh about it together. Luv luv, Ali