#badgerstar

It wasn’t odd for a young molly to have kits. It was expected, even. Never stated out loud… but everyone knew it. Lynxclaw knew it was something that would happen to her eventually— but now that she was expecting kits, she had strange feelings she never anticipated.

She loved her mate. She knew she would love her kits too, but at the same time… something nagged at the back of her mind.

Is this all she would ever be?

“Are you sure you don’t need more help moving in?” Ratleaf asked.

“I’m alright, Rat.” Lynxclaw said.

Hopebud bumped Lynxclaw’s side. “You don’t have to worry about her, Ratleaf. She’ll have me.”

Beetleheart had his jaws on a large rat, which he left at Lynxclaw’s feet. “The best freshkill for the new mother!”

“Dad—!” Lynxclaw started to protest— after all, she had only just found out she was expecting kits a day ago! She still had at least a moon and a half before the kits were born, according to Aspenstripe.

It was Lynxclaw’s mate, Locustclaw, who suggested she pick a nest early and move some of her moss into it. After all, it would be more comfortable to ease herself into the nursery than move all at once, he supposed. Hopebud was already in the process of staking out their future nest, though they weren’t moving into the nursery yet either. But why had her brother and father insisted on tagging along too?

“Let’s not crowd them, you two.” the voice of a familiar molly rang out.

Beetleheart and Ratleaf backed off, letting her stride through. It was Lynxclaw’s mother, Slatestripe.

“Sorry, mom.” Ratleaf murmured.

“I understand you want to help her, but I know from experience that everyone fretting just makes it more stressful.” Slatestripe said calmly. “Lynx, would you like to go on a walk with me?”

Lynxclaw practically jumped at the opportunity. “Of course mom!”

The mother and daughter ducked out of the weaved brambles of the nursery and strode through the bushes. At the outskirts of camp, Lynxclaw paused.

“Hey, mom?”

Slatestripe stopped, looking back at her daughter. “Yes, Lynx?”

“Did,” she gulped, then continued, “did you ever feel like you were giving up on your dreams when you had me?”

Slatestripe looked surprised, before her confusion turned to a soft smile. She sat down, before patting the grass next to her. “Come, sit.”

Lynxclaw obliged, making herself comfortable next to her mother.

“You know… I was in the running for deputy once.” Slatestripe started.

Lynxclaw gasped. “You were?!”

“Yes. The old deputy was killed on patrol… Badgerstar wanted someone young to replace him. Someone who could become leader. That was almost me.”

Slatestripe cocked her head to the side. “But… on the prey pile that morning, there was a sign pointing to someone else.”

“Aunt Bonestripe.” Lynxclaw breathed.

Slatestripe nodded. “I won’t lie… that day, I cried a little. I thought that my ambitions were destroyed,” she smiled, as though reminiscing on an old memory. “But your aunt… as cunning and cold as she is, she always turned to me for advice. And when someone broke the warrior code, I helped explain their position to her and allowed them to stay in the clan. That was the day I realized that deputy wasn’t the end-all-be-all.”

Lynxclaw blinked. “So… you’re saying I should aim for deputy?”

Slatestripe laughed. “No, Lynx. I’m saying that even if your original goals seem lost to you now, there’s always a way to follow your ambitions… even if they change a little on the way.”

Slatestripe got to her feet, turning back to her daughter.

“That being said… if you did become deputy, I would support you every step of the way.”

—

Lynxclaw still ruminated on the lesson her mother had given her. Standing up, she padded her way out of the camp for some air. What did she want to after this? Certainly, she didn’t want to be boxed into the role of mother forever. But she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be deputy.

As she stepped through the forest, she heard some strange noises. They almost sounded like… wheezing?

“Hello?” Lynxclaw said, dropping into a crouch. She wasn’t too large yet— so she was able to slink towards the target without issue.

There, hidden beneath a bush, was her aunt.

“A-Auntie!” Lynxclaw ran towards her. Bonestripe was on the ground, her face contorted into a pained scowl. “What happened?!”

Bonestripe heaved. “D-deathroot… that bastard… he poisoned me!”

Lynxclaw panicked. What could she do? She only had one idea. “Uh, stay here! I’m going to get some help!”

Bonestripe growled. “No use, you fool! They’re… the ones… who did this….”

Lynxclaw didn’t stick around. She needed to help her aunt. Quickly, she ran towards the cleric den. There was a spot in the back where she could squeeze into the log, she remembered. Yarrowheart had gotten scolded when he snuck in that way.

Ignoring the pain in her legs, she pushed herself into the den.

There, she was surrounded by herbs of many smells and sizes. What did her aunt need?

“Lynxclaw?” Cloverpelt shambled into the den. “What did you need?”

“I-I think I accidentally ate some deathroot!” she lied, frantically.

Cloverpelt looked annoyed, then fumbled around with some herbs on a shelf. Lynxclaw could have sworn she heard her mumbling something about overdramatic queens.

She spat out something black at Lynxclaw’s feet. “This should neutralize any deathroot you might have swallowed.”

Then, she left.

Lynxclaw quickly grasped it in her jaws and squeezed out the way she came. From there, it was just a short run to where Bonestripe lay. But every moment of it was agonizing.

“What… do you have… in your mouth?” Bonestripe asked, weakly.

“Dunno. But eat it.” Lynxclaw’s voice was muffled.

“That… that isn’t allowed, Lynx.”

“Shut up!”

Lynxclaw kneeled to her aunt’s side, nudging her mouth open, and feeding her the black substance. Bonestripe weakly swallowed it.

Lynxclaw sighed. “I-I’ll stay with you until I’m sure you’ll be ok.”

Bonestripe looked furious, but she could barely lift her head.

“A thank you would be appreciated for saving your life.” Lynxclaw growled.

“I don’t want you… breaking rules on my behalf.” Bonestripe practically whispered. “Especially with your kits…. They’ll use it as an excuse… to hurt them too.”

“Who did this to you?”

“I… don’t know.” Bonestripe admitted. “But… I know Badgerstar is behind it… he always is…”

“How did you know it was deathroot?”

Bonestripe paused.

“Not… the first poisoning… he’s done. Deathberries are too… easy to cure. Deathroot… hard to find the cure…. Need to trade for it.”

Lynxclaw frowned. “Why would Cloverpelt give me some then?”

Bonestripe laughed. “…didn’t want to deal with… Slatestripe mourning again… my guess.”

Lynxclaw sat there, looking at the withered husk of her aunt. She was too stubborn to ask for help— too paranoid to trust anyone. She cursed their clan for pushing Bonestripe to that point.

“I’m going to move you somewhere safer.” Lynxclaw finally said.

“You… don’t have to.”

“Shut up.”

Lynxclaw slowly dragged Bonestripe to the base of a tree she knew had an old snake den dug into. Inside, she put Bonestripe. She covered the top with leaves.

Hopefully, she would be safer there. Bonestripe seemed to be regaining a bit of her strength. Lynxclaw was certain she would make it.

She padded her way back to camp, before slipping in. It didn’t seem like anyone noticed she was gone.

Some of the older warriors were huddled up by the elder’s den. Lynxclaw could barely hear their conversation.

“…won’t be deputy much longer…”

Lynxclaw paused. They were talking about her aunt.

She found herself walking to the side of the elder’s bush, as if heading to the dirtplace. Instead of leaving camp, she was quiet as she pressed herself into the leaves of the den. Then, she listened.

“Bah, what do you even mean by that, Shinewhisker?” Flybracken, an older tortoiseshell warrior, said.

“Oh… just a hunch.” Shinewhisker laughed.

Shinewhisker was a brown-and-white warrior— Goosetuft’s father, Lynxclaw remembered. He would have a good motive to poison her aunt. After all, his mate Brokenpad was one of Badgerstar’s children, and a staunch supporter of his faction.

“Treason talk isn’t good to have in camp.” Larchfang, another senior warrior, mentioned.

“Who’s even listening? Slatestripe? She’s a bleeding heart, but even she realizes that Bonestripe’s not becoming leader.” Shinewhisker said. “I mean, not even the rest of the cursed family is on Bonestripe’s side!”

I’m on her side! Lynxclaw thought. Then, she remembered how invisible she was to her clanmates. She doubted they even remembered she was a member of the same family as Bonestripe, at this point.

“Who do you think will become deputy instead?” Flybracken asked.

“Hopefully Houndheart. It’s better to have one of Badgerstar’s kits in the seat. I’d like Brokenpad, but we’re getting a bit too old for that stuff nowadays.”

Larchfang spoke up. “Houndheart?! Don’t be stupid, Shinewhisker. Slatestripe is meant to be leader. Badgerstar will pick her after Bonestripe passes.”

“She’s too fond of that cursed family now, and too unwilling to grab her destiny. It shouldn’t happen— not after she had those kits with that cursed tom.” Flybracken grumbled.

Lynxclaw couldn’t listen to them insult her mother any more. She left abruptly, pretending she was returning from the dirtplace. The senior warriors never even paid any attention to her. She was invisible to them— nothing more than just a queen. Slatestripe’s daughter. Maybe even a cursed one, if they remembered that. But she would use that to her advantage.

—

“It was Shinewhisker. Maybe Brokenpad helped.”

Bonestripe was cleaning the dirt off her paws. “How in Starclan did you learn this?”

“I listened in on their conversation.”

She huffed, before standing.

“…Very well. I’ll take this information to your brother. I’ll have him organize a trial for them.”

She turned to leave. Lynxclaw stopped her with a paw on her shoulder.

“Wait. I have one more thing.”

Bonestripe grunted. “No. Whatever it is, no.”

“Let me be your informant!”

“Absolutely not!” she growled. “This was dangerous enough as-is!”

Lynxclaw shook her head. “It’s not dangerous at all. Nobody even notices me, after all. All I’m doing is being observant.”

Bonestripe sighs. “You won’t relent until I say yes, will you?”

Lynxclaw nodded.

“You’re just like your mother.” She chuckled a bit, almost smiling. “Fine. Bring me any information you think will help.”

With that, she walked away to camp.