I’ve been thinking a lot about my upcoming anniversaries of my onset injury, and spreads (april 27 2007, april 9 2012, april 9 2013), as april continues to come closer and closer.
Last year was great, for the first half of the day on the 9th. Tom took me to get my Survival tattoo at my fave tattoo place, we had lunch at the thirsty camel cafe, and we went shopping at woodgrove - I popped in at Lush to show the girls my new tattoo, and Tom and I meandered the mall and buying stuff and had lots of fun!
But by the time we made it back home from Nanaimo, my feet, calves and knees were so swollen they had doubled in size. After Tom and my mom pleading with me, I gave in and went to the hospital, checked into emergency, and they gave me IV ketamine. That helped the swelling go down a bit overnight. And Gail took me in, during her lunch break no less, because she was booked solid all day, to start physio for my legs the following afternoon. That sucked - I was so stiff I could barely move at all from the swelling. Everything was tight, my muscles, all my soft tissues, everything. It hurt like fucking crazy.
I can also vividly recall my onset injury, and when it spread to my right arm. It’s all I can think of in April. I desperately need some more good memories.
Tom and I saw Coldplay two weeks after it spread to my right arm which was AMAZING, and then with the tattoo shopping day last year. Those were two really fantastic days, but tattoo shopping day 2013 has been tainted by crps with the spread to my feet.
Part of me wants to go get another tattoo on April 9th again.
I’m seriously debating writing up a letter explaining how much Thane and Mass Effect means to me, and messaging it to Keythe Farley, and asking if he could write ‘Siha’ and take a picture of it for me so I can get it tattooed. Would that be really weird, or flattering? I know I want to get Siha regardless of now or later, and as I haven’t 110% settled on my crps tattoo(s) for my legs or where on my legs I would get it/them, I might just get Siha done. I can take a hundred bucks out of my savings, because I haven’t spent a lot this month and I still have around 250$ in the bank. With three more visits at only 20$, and then back up to 50$ again, that should leave me with around 140$, and that would be more than enough to get Siha done.
Getting Survival done last year on the anniversary was really special for me, and it helped bring a little bit of comfort and happiness to a day that’s been nothing but pain, intense anxiety and so much despair.
I can’t afford to run away somewhere and try to make more good memories - but I could afford a tattoo.
