#badassfish

Last night I watched Planet Earth’s “Blue Fish II.” If what I saw was accurate (let’s be honest, Sir David Attenborough is nothing if not accurate), then female fish are feminists and are winning at life.  I’ts not ALL female fish, although I was impressed at how many species’ females’ were ruling their worlds.  

So, there is this fish, the Asian Sheepshead Wrasse a/k/a/ Kobudai, who’s females can turn into males.  This particular female fish turned into a male after a couple of months and then challenged an older, larger male fish that had been sexually harassing the other females.  She kicked his ass then mated with the females assuring that her her seed would live on. And she didn’t just “grow” a different sex organ, she turned completely into a male with a huge bulbous chin and head. Mind you, not all of the females choose to become males.  I would party with this chick.

As I was watching, I was texting with my friend Jennifer who was a delighted as I at this level of badassery. We were both struck with the interesting parallel between this fish and the ability of women to be self-sufficient.  She suggested I make this the subject of my next blog. Thus, you can thank her if you enjoy it.

In "Self-Reliance," philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson argues that “polite society has an adverse effect on one's personal growth. Self-sufficiency, he writes, gives one the freedom to discover one's true self and attain true independence.” (https://emersoncentral.com/texts/essays-first-series/self-reliance/)  Who do you think of when you think of “self-reliance”? I immediately think of women I know. It turns out that the public at large is in agreement and credits females with the ability to balance many different scenarios both professionally and personally.  (PS this is why we make superior leaders.)

As a single mother, I can tell you that I have become incredibly self-sufficient.  Are there tasks and chores around the house that wish I had “someone other than me” to do? Definitely.  However, with the exception of electrical work and advanced repairs including gas, I have done most household chores and repairs on my own. I have replaced a toilet (and seal), I maintain my swamp cooler, repaired a dishwasher, painted all of the rooms, trim my trees, etc. I attempted to replace my garbage disposal but that was a shit show. I am also the main exterminator of any creepy crawlies. Anything I don’t already know how to do,  I YouTube it.

Now, while I didn’t impregnate myself, I did raised my sons with very little assistance.  I didn’t have an ex-husband who came over to help with household chores or maintenance.  He was pretty busy helping a stripper with her “household maintenance.” That’s another blog altogether.  He didn’t “give” me the house we lived in.  I had to qualify for the financing in order to “buy” it from him.  I also didn’t have a dad or other family members to help me. 

The point is, I didn’t need anyone else - not really.  Neither do you.  It’s great to have support but you can do it all.  You probably already are.