#bacontits

So I thought one of my Tumblr followers somehow found my AIM. Being the generally social person that I am, decided to talk to her. Little did I know that the AIM user name was just a coincidence and that I didn't know this person at all.

cutiecouture726: hey there

Me: Hello?

cutiecouture726: hi i just got homee a IittIe bit ago juust wanted to say hi ya busy?

Me: Have to leave in half an hour but as of right now, nope just killing time.

cutiecouture726: weIl wanna talk forr a IiI biit im Iike reaIlIy bored and no one's arouund

Me: lol sure, I'm gonna assume you're from Tumblr right?

cutiecouture726: ahh weIlI i just from the gym aIII bathed up and about to gett to werk on here what are ya doin???

Me: Thinking about where I want to eat, lol. I have to leave in an hour.

cutiecouture726: u shouId cumm keep me company for a Iil bit heIp me get warmed up ;) i even havee a free pass Ieft i can Iet you use wanna cum see??

Me: I think I'm alright. I wouldn't want to expend energy right before class!

cutiecouture726: ok i need u to giive me a reaIIy amazing rating so i caan get more passes buut don't worry i'll earn it ;)

Me: It better blow my mind!

cutiecouture726: ight hun thiis is gonna be just mee and u i'm setup through a websiite to keep away stupid IittIe aim troIIs that want to record me you ready????

Me: Never slippin, steady dippin.

cutiecouture726: k just go to http://tinyurl.com/myprivatecamspace and eiither cIick on enter privatee chat in the middIe oor the join free Iink aat the top of the page either onee wiII work see?

Me: OMG THIS IS EPIC. IM GETTING MINDFUCKED AS WE SPEAK.

cutiecouture726: good now just makke your username and you'II be alIl set. ya wiII need to verify your agee but u wiIl NOT get charged anything and it'II even say it on the page see itt??

Me: Already signed up, how do I verify my age? My username is: Titsahoy.

cutiecouture726: ok cooI then juust makee a username and they'II emaiI ya your password after ya do and theen we can get started its sooo simple

Me: Is it cool if I change my password to "b4cont1ts"?

cutiecouture726: after u gett your password jusst come baack sign in and u can start teIIing me what ya waant me to do i can't wait!!

Me: Be careful, I'm kind of a go-getter. I might make you do some crazy stuff. Like inverse differentials or turning binary into hexadecimals.

cutiecouture726: huurry up babe i'm gettin IoneIy waiting here and i do not want to Iose the invite hurrrryyyyy!!

Me: I WANNA SEE DEM TITTAYS!!!