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❝Okay, not tonight but in days to come, uh, you’ll look back and think this moment was funny.❞
     Archer was red from the tips of his ears down his neck. Both hands covered his backside and the small strain of fabric that was left. “I’m sure I would… but for right now… bending over and having the full seat of my pants rip wide open in a large room of strangers is not funny. Not in the least.” At least he was wearing something… polite, underneath.
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Amir/Eamon -- For that ultimate ship meme!! :D
General:
Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Long as they live
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Eamon quicker than Amir, he just didn’t realize it. But fairly soon.
How was their first kiss? - Very warm and, for Eamon, relaxing.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Amir
Who is the best man/men? - Garrus for Eamon, one of Amir’s siblings for Amir
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - N/A
Who did the most planning? - Amir
Who stressed the most? - Eamon
How fancy was the ceremony? -Â Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No one I don’t think
Sex:
Who is on top? - Amir
Who is the one to instigate things? - Eamon
How healthy is their sex life? -Â Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - With the foreplay, quite a while
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - None
How many children will they adopt? - Three, at most
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Eamon
Who is the stricter parent? - Eamon
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Amir
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Eamon
Who is the more loved parent? - Amir
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Eamon
Who cried the most at graduation? - Amir
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Amir
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - Â Amir
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Amir (I think, cause Eamon will eat anything)
Who does the grocery shopping? - Amir, but together a lot too
How often do they bake desserts? - Not very, if ever
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat lover
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Amir to surprise Eamon
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Eamon
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Eamon
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - Eamon
Who is really against chores? - Amir
Who cleans up after the pets? - Eamon
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Amir
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Eamon
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Eamon (and it’s Yara’s)
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Eamon
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Amir (Eamon refuses)
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Mostly Christmas and Halloween, but more Christmas than anything else
What are their goals for the relationship? - Happiness and peace more than anything
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Amir
Who plays the most pranks? - Amir
[MSG]: Do me a solid and hit me with your car.
[MSG: That one] Extremely tempting. What’s your location I’ll get the car running.
'setting please' // for amir bc yes. c: //
70. A morgue
Dead bodies were, sadly, nothing new to Eamon. He had seen his first at an age too young to fully comprehend death. Since childhood he had come to know death well, too intimately for his liking in fact. It was an inevitable ending and one that Eamon feared.
Once again, however, he was faced with it. All around them were dead bodies. The commander squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, both to comfort Amir and himself. “You ready?” he murmured as they stood beside the  table where a body lay covered with a plastic sheet.
[MSG] I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now.
@backxtalkcd | Texts From Last Night | Accepting
[txt:] what’d I say about day drinking?[txt:] it’s supposed to be a victory parade not a [txt:] fall on your ass parade[txt:] nevermind i’ll come get you
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"Are you going to leave?" // from Amir. c: //
“Can’t see myself staying anymore. All the Alliance is going to do is sit me behind a desk. So, yeah, I’m going to leave.”
"You did okay. You tried. It's a lot more than most people would do."
“If I wanted a fucking pep talk, I’d ask for one,” Eamon growled.
[cont from here] @backxtalkcd
The hacker scoffed, staring back to the shut door that was clearly not going to hold back the Templars that were trying to get in. Even so, she voiced out, “I’m not leaving you here!”
