#backslashdelta

ok now i'm gonna be honest, the first thing that came to mind as a kurtbastian and bellarke shipper was bellamy repeatedly calling clarke "princess" + their initial rivalry (also the way bellamy was so slutty in s1 while clarke was like 🙄) i know kurt wouldn't be capable of doing what needs to be done the way clarke does so he wouldn't be the right character to take her place in the narrative, but i think it's a fun parallel if we only talk about character dynamics LOL.

(also imagine blaine as finn. both cheaters. blaine goes absolutely insane because he thinks kurt is in danger. also i don't like either of them.)

anyway, let's get serious.

i think in this type of scenario, santana would be the right person to take a leadership role, but i don't see her as a clarke type of leader. she'd probably be the "whatever the hell we want" leader who takes advantage of the chaos like bellamy was in s1. i really do not have a clear vision about who could take clarke's place, i was thinking about rachel in the sense of how clarke was considered annoying by everyone and nobody listened to her at first (also i was thinking of shelby as abby) but i feel like rachel would end up eaten alive if we're talking about a group of criminals lmao.

i would give quinn a disability arc similar to raven's. i think they're similar in the way they're both so angry about their situations and refuse to accept themselves as they are because of the things that have happened to them and were out of their control.

i see tina as octavia, maybe? obviously not like octavia because i wouldn't make her grow up under the floor, but in the sense that she was initially so shy that she could feel like she doesn't fit in with her own people and would find acceptance in the enemy (does that make sense?)

rory would be jasper.

puck would be miller (gay part included because i say so)

mercedes would be monty, i think? i feel like she wouldn't lose faith in humanity (and she wouldn't lose her own sense of humanity) the way the others would, and i can see her doing what monty did to save everyone. kurt would be a good choice for monty as well, in the sense that he refused to kill people up until the moment he had no other choice and we know how kurt feels about violence.

schue would be kane.

i keep thinking about who tf could be murphy and i have no idea 😭

i'm not happy with my uncertainty about kurt. I'll give it some thought later and add whatever i come up with to this post 👍🏼

***

“So, what are you in the mood for,” Kurt says as he logs onto their Netflix account. “I think I’m in the mood for something funny.”

“I think I want to try an open relationship,” Blaine blurts out after dinner.

Kurt’s hand stills on the remote. “Not the comedy I had in mind, babe.”

“No, Kurt, I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I think we should try having sex with other people.”

Kurt turns his head and blinks slowly at Blaine, still processing.

Blaine shifts his body to face Kurt. His palms are sweating, actually his everything is sweating. Here goes nothing.

“Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like?” Blaine asks.

“Nope.”

“I love everything about you, about what we have. But, maybe we could learn something. Maybe this would help us feel more alive. Maybe even more connected.”

“Fucking someone else will not make me feel more connected to you, And, if I want pointers I have Elliot. I have it on good authority that most of the men out there are not worth it. Your dick is fine.”

“Fine?”

“I mean, I am satisfied.” Kurt clarifies. “Are you not?”

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Kurt gets up and walks across the room to the chair. He can’t be close to Blaine right now, not when Blaine is putting an ocean between them.

“I think I might be. But I don’t know. I barely kissed anyone before you. I only fooled around with a few people when we were broken up. And back then I was so young I didn’t really know what I was doing.” Blaine takes a deep breath and continues. “I would like to give it another shot to be able to know that what we have is right for our needs.”

“Your needs.” Kurt’s tone is harsh.

“Don’t you want me to be improving? What if I have stalled out? What if there are new techniques?”

“Can’t we just watch porn?”

“I can’t feel porn. I want the hands-on experience.”

Kurt stares at him, cold as ice. “Is this about someone in particular?”

“No.”

“Be honest with me. I saw the comment on your birthday post,” Kurt says.

“Just because someone messages me out of the blue does not mean that I want to start having an open relationship. I don’t want to have another relationship with someone else. I want to have one with you, the best one we can. And I think I need more practice. Maybe we both do.”

Blaine ducks as a throw pillow goes flying past his head.

Kurt grabs his jacket and walks out.

***

When Kurt returns hours later  his face is flushed from the cold. His eyes are steely and his jaw is tight. Blaine readies himself for the fight. Years of being Kurt’s husband has taught him the signs.

“We can’t tell anyone.” Kurt is firm.

Blaine’s eyes shoot open in surprise. “Because…”

“Because we don’t even know what this is. I don’t want to answer questions about it.”

“That’s fair.” Blaine has to give him that. 

Kurt won’t look him in the eye. Blaine knows all too well that means he is hurt.

“Look, Kurt, this really could be for the best,” he tries.

“Whatever,” Kurt goes down the hall into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Blaine won’t follow. He knows Kurt does not want to be disturbed.

But now that they are in agreement, he gets excited about what comes next. He gets out his phone to install Grindr. Soon enough he is awash in images. Bodies, so many bodies. He never really looked in detail before but now he can’t look away. Looking and trying to decide what looks good. He is seeing it all with new eyes. With permission, he leans into fantasy and imagines what these men will feel like. The room feels warmer. He unbuttons his collar.

Like a splash of cold water he hears the bedroom door open, a thump of something on the ground, and then slam shut again. He cranes his neck around to see down the hallway. Kurt has left a pile of bedding there.

***

Blaine gets a text the next day.

Rules: 1. We will try this for 2 weeks. 2. No one comes to our home. 3. Protected sex always. 4. No secrets.

That is fair. Love you, K.

Kurt does not respond to the text for 2 hours.

I’d like for you to sleep on the couch. I can’t have you in the bed with me.

***

On the second night, something in Kurt breaks. Laying alone in their bed makes him feel crazy. Not like when Blaine would go on a trip or have to work late. This was a chosen distance. He knows his husband is just down the hall but cannot fathom how to close that gap.

Instead he lays there, staring at the ceiling and thinking. Well, plotting. 

If Blaine wants this so badly Kurt won’t be the one moping around. He’s going to get out there and give it his all. He wonders who Blaine is choosing. It will be so easy for him to find someone or someones willing. Hell half of the cast of the last production was practically frothing at the mouth when he would talk to him. 

Being the person who got to take Blaine home was always a source of pride for Kurt. And now what?

Kurt feels transported back to his awkward teenage years. Everyone in love with someone else, everyone else getting affection so easily. All those feelings come rushing back. All the memories of their first big fight when it seemed like Blaine wanted anyone but Kurt.

And then the idea comes to him. He grabs his phone and scrolls back to Blaine’s birthday. He finds the post and sends a private message before he can talk himself out of it.

A unique opportunity has become available. Wanna fuck?

***

The next morning is awkward. Kurt isn’t sure if he wants to make polite conversation over breakfast with the man who told him in not so many words that he is bad in bed.

“Good morning,” Blaine tries.

“Good morning,” Kurt’s response is short.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, with visions of other men’s dicks dancing in my head.” Kurt grabs a coffee cup and shuts the cabinet a little too loudly. He wants to be mad at Blaine but something about how soft he looks in the morning takes that away. He always looks so good when he first gets up, casual and loose in a way he is not during the day. “Sorry. Look if we are going to make this work I will try to be less of an asshole.”

“No, no, that is fair. I deserve some of that. I really threw you for a loop.” Blaine inches closer instinctually but stops when he sees Kurt back up. “How about this? Let’s just try to be friendly until we have each had our first round. Then we can compare notes and see how we feel.”

“Notes, huh. Should I be bringing a measuring tape to my conquest?”

“Kurt, you know you have nothing to worry about in that department. Elliot has already corroborated that for us. I don’t plan on fucking any porn stars.”

“Well, I might. I might want to have some personal space from them. What if they seem good but then just want to sweat all over me? The bigger the dick the bigger the gap.” Kurt motions with his coffee cup like he just stated an indisputable fact.

They both start laughing. It releases the tension.

“Are we okay?” Blaine has to check. “Is this going to be okay?”

“I really do not know but I promised you I will try and I intend to keep my word.”

***

After Kurt has left for work, Blaine spends most of the morning setting up his Grindr profile. He chooses a fake name, just in case, but tries to stay true to the other details. He considers lying and putting his age as twenty-nine but thinks better of it. As much as he knows this whole thing got put into motion from worry about his age, he knows there are a lot of guys out there for whom older is better. 

His profile blurb is especially truthful. Looking to learn some new tricks that marriage has not taught me yet. Happy to learn one or one or in a group. ;)

It’s exciting and nerve wracking. So he sets his phone on the table and goes to take a shower. But the combination of warm water and his active imagination gets him excited. If he is this hard just thinking about it, what will the real experience be like? He jerks himself off quickly, too curious to see what might be waiting for him in his phone.

It does not disappoint. Lots of messages from a nice selection of guys. Sorting through them all is intoxicating. He hasn’t felt this wanted in some time. He has to remind himself to be selective. He does not have to be nice to everyone, he just needs to find a good match.

Eventually, he lands on Greg who has a friend coming into town tomorrow night. Greg and his friend would love to take turns fucking Blaine. They’ll even split the cost of the hotel. It’s perfect, so they agree on the plan and a time to meet the next day.

***

When Kurt comes home, he can tell Blaine has something to tell him. 

“You should know I made a plan for tomorrow evening,” Blaine starts. “I want you to know that I’ve gone over the plan with them—”

“Them? As in plural?” Kurt sounds concerned.

“Yes, plural. Kill two birds with one stone and all that,” Blaine explains. He is nervous now, talking to Kurt, awkward in a way that he wasn’t when he was making the plan or thinking about it all afternoon.

“Well, good for you,” Kurt replies. He moves around the kitchen, putting items away and not really looking Blaine in the eye. “I guess that is for the best. I have plans tomorrow as well.”

It is quicker than Blaine had expected. When had Kurt found the time to make this plan? He had been at work all day.

“Kurt, is this one of your coworkers? I think we really ought to be more cautious.”

“No, it is not. I can find dick plenty of places. I don’t need to go fishing around the office.”

“It’s just sudden. I mean, I spent most of the afternoon.”

“Well, good for you for being so thorough. Look, can we talk about this after. I have some work left to do and I really want to take a long shower and get a good night's sleep.”

“By all means, don’t let me get in your way,” Blaine says, irritated that Kurt isn’t being more forthcoming.

“You won’t,” Kurt says sharpley. “I promise that we can talk abo​​ut it after. Just not tonight, please.”

“Fine,” Blaine deflates. His active imagination isn’t doing him any favors. “After would be good.”

“Thank you. Now, if you will excuse me…” Kurt moves past him and down the hall. The bedroom door shuts and Blaine knows that is the end of it for tonight.

***

Kurt knocks on the hotel door. He can’t believe he is doing this but now that he is here, he is going to see it through.

Sebastian opens the door. He has aged a bit from any recent photo Kurt has seen. He is still tall and slim, he looks to be keeping good care of himself.

“So, to what do I owe this unique opportunity? Is Blaine being punished?” Sebastian asks. He leans against the door frame seductively, as if waiting for Kurt to give him the password for entering.

“No, he is being rewarded.” Kurt steps past Sebastian and into the hotel room. He looks around, surmising the cleanliness and decor. “This will do fine.”

“I don’t remember asking if you approve,” Sebastian says,

“Yeah, well, I need to set the mood. No offense to you, but I seriously never saw myself doing this. That is, until this week. All I will say is that Blaine turned 30 and wants to expand horizons.”

“And you love him so much you obliged.”

“I love Blaine more than anything.” Kurt’s response is instant and heartfelt, he can’t help himself.

“Of course you do,” Sebastian scoffs as he lets the door close behind him. “So, now what?”

“I’m going to have a drink, no offense.” Kurt pulls a flask out of his jacket and takes a swig. He holds it out to Sebastian. “Want some?”

“I’m good. I pregamed a bit, figured this would be weird.”

“Smart,” Kurt says, taking another big swig. “Okay, how do you want to do this?”

Sebastian loosens his tie, pulls it slowly across his neck and drapes it across the chair. He unbuttons his shirt as he walks towards Kurt. “Well, I figure we might as well make the most of it. Wanna show me what you got?” He sits down on the bed near Kurt, turning his body to face him fully.

Kurt slides out of his jacket and pulls his sweater over his head, leaving him in the tank top he has underneath. He hesitates for a moment, then decides there is no point in holding back. He takes off his shoes and pants. He moves to the edge of the bed near Sebastian. He can’t really read the look on Sebasitan’s face but doesn’t let that stop him. He knows who he is. He may not understand just how he got here, but he knows himself.

“Take yourself out,” Kurt says as he settles in between Sebastian’s knees. “And you’re clean, right? I never liked the taste of condoms.”

“Yep, all good,” Sebastian confirms.

“We’ll take turns then. Just give me a tap if you get close. You can cum later.” Kurt moves his hands up Sebastian’s thighs and gets to work.

“Yes, sir,” Sebastian says happily. “I think I like grown up you.”

“Let’s not go that far,” Kurt says just before he lowers his mouth down onto Sebastian’s dick. He starts with the things Blaine really likes, but then he reminds himself he is here to learn. “Tell me what you like,” he instructs as he sinks back down. He does a few of the things he enjoys, Sebastian responding eagerly with grunts and thrusts. Kurt lets him go with a pop. “You can tell me with your hands. I won’t break.” He dives back in and eventually Sebastian’s hands find their way onto his head. Kurt enjoys this. He loses himself in the feel of a dick in his mouth, forgetting for a moment in the awkwardness of the situation. After a bit, he feels a tap.

“Stop,” Sebastian pants. “You gotta stop or I’m gonna cum.”

Kurt sits up and leans back onto his heels. Sebastian’s dick is different than Blaine’s, slimmer for one. And there is something different in his scent. Not just soap or lotion, but something altogether distinctive. Not that appealing, but fine. Kurt can do this.

“Okay, phew, I’ll give it to you, that was pretty good.” Sebastian chuckles. “Can we?” He motions to the head of the bed. He strips off the rest of his clothes so he is totally naked. “Take off the rest of that and move up here. I like to sit back a bit.” He scoots all the way back so he is sitting against the headboard. “Come kneel up here and let me have a turn.”

Kurt obliges and Sebastian is quick to swallow him down. He grabs at Kurt’s ass and pushes his cock deep into his throat.

“Woah, easy tiger.” Kurt remarks.

Sebastian backs off and pulls him out of his mouth. “Just so you know, this is all the rage in LA.”

“Then by all means, please proceed. I do want to be bicoastal.”

Sebastian resumes with vigor. Kurt feels like he is trying to suck the life out of him. It is less tender than Blaine, naturally, but it feels good. Soon enough he finds himself pumping into Sebastian’s face, giving as good as he is getting. After a bit Sebastian pushes him away, coughing.

“Damn, that is good. But I gotta slow it down. Blow jobs get me hard.”

“Guess that is something we have in common,” Kurt smiles. It’s a weird camaraderie they have. “Do you like being fingered?”

“Love it.”

“Me, too.” The mood is easy, and less technical than Kurt had feared. He grabs a couple condoms and some lube, setting them on the bed so they are within arms reach.

“I like the size of your hands. They remind me of my ex.”

“Charming,” Kurt says. “Okay, who’s first?”

“Let’s see what you got Hummel.” Sebastian scoots down the bed so he can lay flat, splaying his legs out to open wide. “I don’t always love a dick in my ass but I do love fingers.” He wiggles his butt for effect.

Kurt teases at first, circling the hole before slowly slipping a finger in, adding lubricant as he goes. He can hear Sebastian breathing but doesn’t make eye contact. He’s too focused on watching how his body responds to the second finger. He slides it in along with the other, gently curving his wrist in circles as he goes.

“Ugh, oh, oh man that is nice,” Sebastian remarks.

“Yeah, it's one of Blaine’s favorite’s.” He doesn't mean to bring Blaine up so matter-of-factly. The truth is he can’t really get Blaine out of his head. Kurt tries to approach it like a student, seeing what data he can gather. “Too bad you aren’t more interested in bottoming. I’d like to get some feedback on that, too.”

“Well I guess, ah ah, I guess I could be convinced.” Sebastian pants out as he writhes around on the bed. “I’m not that much of a control freak, anymore.”

“I still am,” Kurt replies. “Just with a bit more balance. Do you really want me to fuck you?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see what the fuss is all about.”

“Fuss?” Kurt asks. His hand stills, keeping pressure on Sebastian’s prostate but not moving. “What fuss?”

“You can’t possibly think that Blaine hasn’t told me things. I ask, he answers.”

Kurt’s mind reels with what Blaine might have said. How much of their private details has he given away? If he didn’t have his hand inside this guy, he might be mad about that. He shakes his head and brings his focus back to the task at hand, stroking the spot while Sebastian moans.

“Okay, okay, fuck.” Sebastian struggles to get the words out. “Let me just change position.”

Kurt removes his hand to let Sebastian move around on the bed. He gets onto all fours. The long line of his back, the strength of his legs. Kurt still only has eyes for Blaine but he can appreciate the appeal of this man’s body. He pumps his cock a few times to bring it back to full hardness, rolls a condom on, and applies a generous amount of lube. He doesn’t waste time with small talk, just gets on his knees behind him and slides into Sebastian’s ass until he feels resistance. It isn’t all the way but it feels good. He pumps his hips in and out to get him more comfortable. When Sebastian’s body feels more pliant underneath him, he circles his hips and drives into him hard.

“Fuck, Hummel!” 

“That’s the general idea, yes.”

“That is fucking, ah ah. That is fucking good.”

“If you like this I can take you up against the wall as well.”

“Nice, ah ah. But this is good. Oh god, oh fuck, this is good.”

The room is filled with the sounds of skin on skin, heavy breathing, and the occasional curse word. Sebastian isn’t a bad bottom, but Kurt wonders why he just takes it. He expects him to at least buck a little more. Maybe Blaine is just more active than most.

Kurt can feel him tensing beneath him. He does not want this to be over just yet, he still needs some more information. He pulls out and sits back on his heels.

“Wha? Whydid you stop?”

“Oh, I thought you might come,” Kurt says.

“Yeah, fair.” Sebastian flops forward on the bed, pumping his hips into the mattress. “Did you want me to do you instead?”

“If you wouldn’t mind. Flip over.”

Sebastian complies and flashes Kurt a smile. He gives himself a minute to breath before putting a condom on. He holds up a hand when Kurt goes to apply lube, chuckling a bit and saying that this is something he ought to do himself.

“Ready when you are cowboy,” Sebastian jokes.

“Giddy up.” Kurt laughs a bit as he lowers down onto Sebastian’s dick. It is different from what he is used to. A bit less noticeable when he was in his mouth. Instead, Kurt’s body opens up to him easily and he focuses on the length. He sits up on his knees and back down again, twisting his hips and rocking his pelvis to make maximum contact with each thrust.

“How’s my grade?” Sebastian teases.

“Not bad, different. Harder to compare than I expected. How’s mine?”

“Gotta say you are a better student than I expected as well. Your cock is really hot but what you are doing right now is pretty great, too. This is fun.” Sebastian grabs at Kurt’s hips to follow the motion along. As things intensify, he holds firmer. 

Soon he and Kurt are both slamming their bodies together. Kurt’s long cock bobs in the air as they move. Sebastian moves one hand to stroke it but is interrupted.

“No, don’t need it. Just give me a, ah ah.” Kurt resumes his pace, twisting and moving to rub Sebastian’s dick on that sweet spot inside. “Yeah, gonna…”

Kurt comes with a grunt, shooting onto Sebastian’s stomach. He clenches hard, wringing every last thing he can get from the man underneath him. The pressure takes Sebastian along with him. Kurt can feel the tell tale pulse liquid filling the condom. A few final pumps and Kurt suddenly realizes how much his legs ache. He flops off to the side, panting heavily.

It is silent in the room for a bit, then Sebastian speaks.

“Well that was…”

“Interesting.”

“Very. I don’t know about you but I certainly learned a thing or two. I can’t wait to try that wrist move with my fuck buddy from the gym.”

“I hope he enjoys it.”

“Oh, he will. Did you learn anything?”

“You know, I think I did,” Kurt says. 

Kurt doesn’t bother to say more. He thinks of Blaine. They always kiss after sex. No matter what kind or what time of day, there is always at least a little kiss afterwards. He longs for Blaine anew. He longs for him the same as always, just with this odd night in the mix. He misses Blaine. He knows he does not need to experiment any more. He did fine with Sebastian. He has talked plenty with Elliot over the years. He doesn’t need more hands-on experience. He just needs his husband.

He only hopes Blaine doesn’t take too long to come to the same conclusion.

***

Greg and Jose are polite. They are welcoming and happy to talk through any questions Blaine has. 

How often do you do this? Do you always do the same kind of things? What are you looking for in a a third? How long have you guys known each other? Blaine rattles off questions to keep his mind at ease. In the end, they offer to just show him and let him join in at his own pace.

Blaine watches them kiss. It's not quite romantic, but he sees the appeal. Both of them are hot in their own way. They peel off layers in front of Blaine as their hands and lips roam. After a bit, he feels too dressed and takes off his shirt.

“C’mere,” Jose suggests, holding a hand out to Blaine. 

Blaine lets them place him between their two bodies on the small couch. The kisses move from them to him, peppering his arms and chest, encouraging him to sink into the feeling. 

It feels good, albeit unfamiliar. Though that really was the point of this anyway. Hands he does not know rub across his skin, new mouths breath hot confessions into his ear. It feels good and strange all at once.

“Can I watch you for a bit? I’d like to see how you move,” Blaine says.

“You an actor?” Greg asks.

“Guilty as charged. But this isn’t for a role. I’m trying to see what I can improve on myself.”

“In that case you should see him give a blowjob. It’s a masterclass.” Greg wiggles his eyebrows and lays back on the sofa.

Jose crawls over him and swallows him down. They move together well, like a dance. Blaine has a hard time getting a good view but he understands the energy. Good energy really goes a long way.

Greg motions for Blaine to come back to the couch, peeling him out of his pants and laying him down across his lap. Jose moves to Blaine, sucking at his cock and fondling his balls. Greg rubs at his chest and holds him gently in place. Blaine writhes under the sensations. He closes his eyes and takes it all in. Something about it is so familiar, like a scene from porn popping back into his brain. He imagines what the three of them look like, him with his eyes closed and the other two working him over.

“My turn,” Greg says.

Blaine isn’t sure what he means but he opens his eyes and happily repositions himself to let Jose kneel in between them. He pumps their cock in unisom and looks at Greg with heavy eyes. The two of them are communicating something, Blaine is keen to see what happens next.

Greg gets up from the couch and bends himself over the arm. He wastes little time preparing himself for Jose. He leans forward enough to get Blaine in hand and strokes him as Jose takes him from behind. Greg’s hand is uneven as Jose fucks into him, rubbing staccato up and down Blaine’s shaft has he takes Jose’s thrusts. Blaine watches them intently. They clearly have a rhythm practiced over time. The familiarity with which they give the other what they want, the non-verbal communication as they adjust positions. Even with the hot hand on him, Blaine feels like he is mostly watching. He can feel them but still feels a bit disconnected from their play.

“Could we,” Blaine starts and stops. He’s not sure how to ask without sounding too crude. “Could you double team me? I’d like to try that.”

They both smile and nod. He appreciates how willing they are.

“Who do you want where?” Jose asks.

Blaine hadn’t really considered that detail. They are both attractive, both capable. “Surprise me,” Blaine says as he repositions himself on the sofa.

They smile at each other again, then move wordlessly to either end of him. Jose feeds his cock into Blaine’s mouth while Greg preps his ass with lubed fingers. It feels incredibly good and Blaine can’t help but get excited when he hears the condom package tear open.  

Greg enters him fully on the first slow thrust. Blaine sighs into the sensation and closes his eyes, soaking in the feeling of being full and attended to. The condom squeaks a bit in the lube. It brings a bit of reality back into the fantasy but Blaine tries to ignore it. He relaxes into Greg’s slow thrusts. They are long and deep, and he can feel the tingle of pleasure go up his spine. Blaine lets his jaw hang open to moan at the sensation, then leaves it lax to allow Jose to fuck into his mouth at his own pace.

Blaine is in a loop of pleasure. He thinks again about that porn he saw, trying to ensure he is doing things that feel good for the other guys. He imagines himself in it. The image comes to mind easily. Three guys fucking on that white leather couch. One of them still has his socks on. And the guy in the middle moaning and slurping like he was born for it. He isn’t quite that enthusiastic but it is similar. Thankfully, all of them have taken their socks off, and the sofa is brown. But otherwise it is a lot like that porn.

Blaine opens his eyes to sneak a peek at Jose who is starting intently at Greg. While Blaine may be on his cock, his mind is clearly on Greg. And that is fine, really. Blaine’s mind is on that porn as he tries to replicate some of the things that turned him on the most. 

Blaine is getting closer now, the feeling of being so full is taking over and his orgasm creeps closer and closer. He rocks his body back and forth between the sensations. Using the men to bring himself to release. He drops Jose’s cock out of his mouth as he pushes back into Greg, slamming him onto that spot that makes his toes curl as he comes.

He can feel Greg slide out of him, still hard, and lean him forward to rest on the sofa. Footsteps around him tell him they have moved back together again. The sounds of skin slapping and grunting off in the distance behind him as he comes back from the soft haze of pleasure he was in. Blaine turns over to watch them, moving perfectly together. They crane their necks to kiss, touching every part of each other they can as they fuck their way towards release. He can hear one of them whisper the other’s name as he comes. It feels so soft and intimate.

Blaine realizes then that the two of them are having the experience together while he was just playing for play’s sake. The sex felt good, albeit disconnected, like he was masterbating to that porn just with other people involved. Suddenly his chest feels tight. He wants to go home.

“Well, thanks for that,” Blaine says politely as he gets dressed. The two of them have moved to the heretofore unused bed, recovering from the exertion and just sort of hanging out.

“Yeah, that was fun,” Greg says. “Get in touch if you want to do that again. Or maybe bring your husband. Four is as fun as three.”

“Sometimes more,” Jose adds with a smile.

“Thank you. That’s quite the offer.” Blaine gathers his things and shows himself out.

***

Blaine finds the house empty when he gets home. He's a bit disappointed but relieved he has a chance to shower and clean up before Kurt gets home. If Kurt comes home tonight. It occurs to him that they really hadn’t talked about how late they would be out.

He decides to take a long shower and try not to think about the details of what Kurt is doing. The invitation of a foursome pops into his brain and Blaine tries to clear the image of his husband in the middle of a gangbang. God, Kurt really could be doing anything right now. The reality of that sets in and, now that he is on the other side of his first experiment, he realizes how much he doesn’t like it. The sex was good but it lacked everything they have together. And even if one of them were technically bad, if they were happy, then so what?

Blaine makes himself some tea and tries to calm his racing mind. When he hears Kurt’s key in the door, he takes some deep breaths to ready himself for the conversation.

“Can we talk?” Blaine starts as soon as Kurt has hung his coat.

“I’d like to freshen up first,” Kurt replies. “I’ll just be a minute.”

True to his word Kurt is quick to return. He looks fresh faced, like he’s scrubbed up a bit, and he is wearing his robe. It is so endearingly domestic, Blaine’s heart melts a little bit.

“I don’t know where to start, so I will just start.” Blaine says nervously. “I had sex with two guys. It was different, and they certainly had some new moves. It was interesting to see how I would react - but in the end I can’t say it taught me much. That is, it taught me that what I want is connection. With you.”

Kurt’s eyes well up. He moves closer to Blaine and takes his hand. “I’m so glad you feel this way. I don’t want to do this anymore.. It was all very physical and of course sex feels good but when I was fucking Sebastian I just —”

“Sebastian? As in Warbler Sebastian.” Blaine drops Kurt’s hand. 

“Well, yes, what were you expecting?” Kurt is defensive,

“Not that you were going to fuck someone we know!”

“Please, we barely know him. Besides, you wanted experience. I chose the person who has been sleeping around for 15 years. If anything, it was the best choice.”

“The best choice?” Blaine is incredulous. “Sebastian was the best choice?!? Amazing! What next, did you have a three way with Dave and Adam?”

“No, of course not. I respect them,” Kurt says dryly. “Besides, I’ve already fooled around with Adam. I know his tricks and they weren’t that great. You were always better. His tongue would—”

“Kurt, stop,” Blaine pleads. “Please don’t tell me anything else. Please do not do anything else.” Blaine feels like his heart is beating out of his chest. “I call pause on this whole thing. I need time to think.”

“But this whole thing was your idea…” Kurt responds.

“I need some air. I’m gonna go for a walk. Please be in the bedroom when I come back. I need some space.” 

Blaine leaves and Kurt is left standing in the apartment. The reality of what he did settling in. The tears fall easily.

***

Blaine returns later to a quiet house. Kurt is in the bedroom, as requested. He left the side table lamp on and a fresh bedding on the sofa. Blaine gets to work setting up his bed. He hears the creak of the bedroom door and soft footsteps coming closer.

Kurt’s head is down when he enters the living room. He can’t meet Blaine's eyes. Not yet, not until he has some kind of idea of how Blaine feels.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. That this experiment might somehow be good for us, or wash away any doubts you might have. But I think I was also a little hurt and I lashed out. Fucking someone else does not make anything better. It just makes me feel worse. I’m not this person. I’m boring and I just want to be boring with you.”

But Blaine doesn’t reply. He doesn’t move, doesn’t even breathe in what feels like forever. Kurt closes his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. Then, he feels a hand on his chin gently lifting.

“Kurt, look at me,” Blaine asks. “Maybe the idea was fun at first but what I’ve learned is that we really did not miss out on much. Some different shaped dicks, more or less hairy bodies — and not always in a good way. This experiment, or midlife crisis, or whatever it is… it's just not me, not us.”

“I just want you,” Kurt says, looking Blaine in the eyes. His voice is still soft, warming up into the idea that his confession will be met with acceptance. “I want to come home to you, to wake up with you. No one else, just you.” He can see Blaine soften as he speaks. “I want to mess around with you, make love to you, and to fuck you so hard you see stars.”

Blaine surges forward, grabbing at Kurt’s shoulders as they kiss.

“God, he’s the worst, isn’t he?” Kurt muttered in mild irritation. He and Blaine were sitting in one of Dalton’s many study rooms, going over their… English homework? Or was it History? Well, considering they were discussing The Grapes of Wrath, he supposed it could be either. But it didn’t matter, because he could hardly focus on the assignment in front of him anyway.

“Oh, c’mon Kurt, he’s not that bad,” Blaine argued and it was in one of those moments that Kurt greatly questioned his friend’s sanity.

“Are you kidding? We’re talking about the same guy here, right?”

Blaine laughed, nodding. “Yes, we’re both talking about Sebastian,” he replied and even the guy’s name alone put Kurt on edge. Kurt’s transfer to Dalton had been generally pretty breezy. For the most part, the guys here were kind and accepting. Apparently Dalton Academy was serious about their ‘zero tolerance policy’.

But then there was Sebastian, who stood to be an outlier in terms of Kurt maintaining his peace. He was insufferable, to say the least. And it’s made so much worse given that he has chosen to target Kurt specifically. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was because he was the new kid or what, but Sebastian seemed to go out of his way to irritate Kurt. It wasn’t like he felt threatened by Sebastian, — this was hardly a Dave Karofsky situation — but he could most definitely attest that Sebastian was a consistent annoyance.

“I just don’t get how you can tolerate him,” Kurt went on, and Blaine rested his chin in his hand, listening patiently to Kurt’s rant with an amused grin. “Ever since I transferred here, he’s been antagonizing me. Like doesn’t he have anything better to do than exist like a gnat in my ear?”

Kurt could see it clear as day in Blaine’s poorly suppressed grin; he had something that he clearly wanted to say, but just wasn’t. Well, Kurt wasn’t really all too fond of being out of the loop, so to speak.

Kurt gave Blaine a look of suspicion. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Blaine replied, attempting to disguise his expression by taking a sip of his coffee.

Kurt wasn’t buying it, though. “No, what’s so funny? Is there some joke I’m not in on?”

Blaine paused for a moment, contemplating speaking up again. Finally, though, he sets his coffee cup back down on the table and holds his hands out in front of himself defensively. As if Kurt is some kind of threat. “Okay, if I say this, you can’t bite my head off about it. That fair?”

Well, Kurt didn’t exactly love the implications of that. But he liked being in the dark about things even less, so with some reservations, he released a sigh and shrugged. “Fine. What’s such a big deal that you don’t wanna say it? I promise I’ll be nice.”

“Well, I just noticed that any time you like a guy, you start talking about him a lot. I mean, that’s how you were with that Sam guy from your old school.” Kurt felt heat rise to his cheeks at Blaine’s accusation. He wanted to protest because he didn’t really think he had talked about Sam that much, but he decided to keep his mouth shut as Blaine continued. “And, y’know, you do talk about Sebastian an awful lot so could it be possible that you maybe have a bit of a… crush on him?”

That… truly stunned Kurt. What was Blaine thinking? Sure, he talked about Sebastian a lot but it wasn’t like that. His friend has really, truly gone off the deep end. “Are you serious?”

“Hey, I’m just thinking aloud here! I could be completely wrong, I get that. But you have to admit that he does stay on your mind a lot.”

“I can’t believe you would even suggest something like that,” Kurt responded in disbelief. “I have not, nor would I ever, have a crush on him.”

“A crush oh who, Kurt?” A voice that Kurt is unfortunately painfully familiar with cut in. Kurt and Blaine both turned towards the doorway to find Sebastian standing there, snarky expression and all. Then, with complete and utter audacity, he came in and sat down in one of the empty seats at Kurt and Blaine’s table.

“Nobody,” Kurt said immediately. He really did not need Sebastian to be here right now. Of all the examples of the worst possible timing, this has got to be a top contender in the ranking. “Nobody worth mentioning, anyway.”

“Oh c’mon, Hummel, I don’t believe that. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Don’t you have a line of grown men on Facebook offering to be your sugar daddy for the low, low price of one sad handjob a week and no less than five weekly texts offering them ‘the boyfriend experience’? You must be far too busy to be spending your time here with us.”

“Ah, unfortunately, they couldn’t meet my rates,” Sebastian countered Kurt’s insult easily, letting the words roll off him without care. “But hey, no worries, I gave them your information. I know you could use the money. DaddyDom69 seemed particularly interested.”

“What are you doing here, Sebastian?” Kurt questioned, unimpressed.

“Well, I was here to visit with my old pal, Blaine, but then I heard that the great Kurt Hummel has a crush and realized I had to get more details on that! So, who is he?”

It was then that Kurt looked over at Blaine, shooting him a look that was a mixture of apprehension and frustration. Because this was Blaine’s fault. This entire discussion wouldn’t be happening if Blaine hadn’t insinuated that Kurt had a crush.

Apparently, the look that they shared was enough to tip Sebastian off. Either that, or he’s just such a narcissist that he believed that everything revolved around him. Regardless, he lets out a mocking gasp, bringing his hand to his chest as if pretending to be shocked. “Oh my, is it me? Kurt, I’m flattered, you could’ve just said that!”

“Never, not even in your wildest dreams, would I ever have a crush on you. Trust and believe.” Kurt spoke in such a way that he hoped left no room for argument. However, it seems like with Sebastian, there’s always room for argument.

“Yeah? Then prove it,” Sebastian challenged.

“How would I even do that?”

Sebastian’s smirk turned conspiratorial. “Kiss me. If it’s not a crush then nothing would happen, right?”

Immediately, Kurt could sense Blaine’s tension beside him. Blaine knew about Kurt’s history of being kissed in ways that nobody else did. It was sweet that he cared so much, but this was pretty much his fault to begin with.

“You must be joking,” Kurt said after some time.

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

Well he looked like a joke, that’s for sure. But that also wasn’t the question. And sure, he could end this. He could just say that he’s done entertaining this, but wouldn’t that be just the same as admitting guilt?

“Sure, fine, let’s do it.”

“Uh, Kurt,” Blaine began to cut in, “you don’t have to do that. Don’t feel pressured.”

“I don’t.” Well, he does a little bit. But he’s not going to say that. “Like Sebastian said, if it’s not a crush, it’s not like anything would happen anyway.” He scooted his chair closer to Sebastian and briefly caught a glimpse of a guilty looking Blaine out of the corner of his eye. Blaine didn’t need to feel guilty, at the end of the day, this was Kurt’s choice. “So… let’s do it.”

Sebastian readjusted in his chair. “I’m ready when you are, Hummel.”

So the ball was in his court. That’s fine. He could do this. It’s just Sebastian. No big deal. He’s never willingly kissed another man before, but it was fine.

Kurt leaned in, and before he could possibly talk himself out of it, he pressed his mouth to Sebastian’s. He didn’t know what he was doing really, but Sebastian didn’t seem to complain. In fact, he all but leaned into the kiss, carding a hand through Kurt’s hair in an act of unusual tenderness from the boy. It lingered for a bit longer than anticipated and—

Oh shit.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kurt pulled away from Sebastian, trying not to come off as alarmed. He stood abruptly, and had two pairs of eyes locked on him. Wide, concerned ones from Blaine, and inquisitive, searching ones from Sebastian. God, Kurt hoped he didn’t find whatever he was looking for.

He knew his face must be hot from nerves. That, and the fact that he just found the kiss with Sebastian to be… pleasant? That was not supposed to happen.

Kurt cleared his throat anxiously. “See. Nothing. Just like I said.” He haphazardly picked up his belongings as he continued. “Well, I’d hate to leave so soon, but it’s getting late and my dad’s going to be expecting me for dinner. Bye.”

And with that, he rushed out of the room, not willing to be under the scrutiny of his best friend and his rival any longer.

It wasn’t until later that night when he received a few texts. One of them made his heart skip a beat. The one from Blaine was expected. It was an apology and it read Kurt, I am so sorry that happened. I shouldn’t have said anything, please don’t be mad at me.

But the other text; that one, Kurt could never have anticipated.