He was perfect. 

Not that he missed him or anything. Obviously. 

The dogs’ ears perked and his head perked and faced the door and then all of a sudden there was a knock on it. He was kind of deflated because considering that Jon lived here and had a key he wouldn’t knock. The dogs hopped up though so he did the same. 

He opened the door and – “Holy shit.” 

In that moment, if he’d been asked to identify Jon Snow out of a line-up of ONE he wouldn’t have been able to. 

He’d seen porn that started like this. He’d had dreams of exactly this. 

Myrcella Penelope Baratheon, at his door, dressed only in a fluffy towel. 

“Can I use your shower?” she asked. 

“Uhhhh,” he offered smoothly. “Why?”

WHY?! 

Why are you such an idiot is a reasonable question. Why Myrcella PENELOPE Baratheon wants to use your shower is of no consequence. She can use anything of yours she wants. YOU KNOW THAT. 

He’d been on his own too long. He was definitely getting weird. But he’d been in solitary confinement for almost five hours, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t put up a good fight. 

To his surprise though, she was blushing like she was the one who had lost it. He loved it when she blushed. It turned those perfect cheekbones the sweetest pink, her pale eyes widening.

“There’s a spider in mine,” she explained. “And Chatty is being spiteful and won’t hunt it for me even though I know he loves to hunt. It’s his second favorite thing.” 

She was so fucking cute.

“What did you do to Chatty?” he asked, not that her cat needed a reason for chaos, but usually he reserved that for lesser beings like him, not Myrcella, his beloved. 

She sighed, “Well nothing all that terrible or anything, actually, it’s just that Lady misses Sansa so I’ve been giving her extra attention and he’s such a boy about it.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes, “It means that boys are needy.” 

“We are not,” Robb said, “I’m not needy.” 

“You’ve texted Jon twelve times!” Myrcella told him.

“What did you bug my phone?’ he asked. 

“No, Sansa told me,” Myrcella said. 

He crossed his arms, “And when did she do that?” 

“When she called me when they got to the hotel,” Myrcella answered. 

“And why did she do that?” he asked. 

Myrcella bit her lip, looking away from him, “Because I asked her to.” 

“Ha!” he pointed at her. “Needy.” 

“Concerned,” she said. “It’s a long drive.”

“It’s a half hour outside the city,” he corrected.

“And yet you managed to text Jon twelve times by the time they got there!” she reasoned. Then whimpered his name in the way he’d imagined so many times, “Robbbb are you going to let me in or have you forgotten that I’m standing in the hallway in my towel?” 

He had not forgotten that. He’d been ignoring that fact so as not to embarrass himself further, but he had definitely not forgotten it. 

“Do you um want me to kill it for you?” he asked. 

“Oh, would you?” she asked. A smile overtook her face, “Really.” 

Anything.

“Why not?” he asked.

How’s that for not being needy, MYRCELLA?

He tried to close the door but Ghost and Grey Wind wedged themselves in between it. 

“I uh… guess they’re coming…” he said.

She smirked, “Needy boys.” 

“Says the girl who can’t kill a spider on her own,” he dangled, regretting it instantly in case she chose to do just that just to prove a point.

“Mine is a gentle spirit,” she told him primly. And then shuddered, “And they’re gross.” 

He smirked and followed her down the hall, wishing her towel was just a little smaller, it covered too much of her thighs. She was just so teeny. It was probably a hand towel.

She let them into her apartment and Chatty took one look at Ghost and Grey Wind and promptly retreated into Myrcella’s bedroom, all but slamming the door behind him. 

“Okay, let’s see about this,” he said as Myrcella closed the door. He turned back to look at her, “Now if I’m not back in ten minutes… tell Jon I love him.” 

She giggled, “Deal.”

He went into the bathroom. The dimly lit bathroom. That had candles along the tub. And bubbles in it. 

Odd.

He looked around, even getting down on his hands and knees – fuck how much do these girls shed? – but didn’t see anything.

Standing up he saw her phone on the counter and grabbed it to use the flashlight feature. When he clicked on it though, a preview of Sansa’s text showed up. It said don’t be a baby, just do it.

Once again he looked around the bathroom, less for the spider and more for evidence.

Mood lighting? Check. Candles? Check. Bubbles?

“Myrcella can you come in here, please?” he called.

“Is it dead?” she asked oh so hopefully as she peered in the bathroom, clutching that fluffy towel to her body. 

“Is what dead?” he asked, “Oh… the spider… right… no I couldn’t find it.” 

She glanced at him with wide eyes and looked around, stepping into the bathroom, “Are you sure?” 

“It’s gone,” he stroked her arm, and then pulled her closer, “If it was even here at all.” 

She pulled away from him, “What are you talking about? I didn’t imagine it.” 

He smirked, “Myrcella, it’s okay. Look this is cute and all but you don’t really need the whole show, I want this too.” 

“Well good…,” she shook her head, “Let’s find it.” 

With that she pulled away from him entirely and turned and looked on the far wall. 

“Wait…,” he said, “There is actually a spider?” 

“What does that even mean?” she asked.

“I uh… Sansa texted… and uh… bubbles,” he offered by way of explanation.

“What?” she asked. 

“I… fuck, okay um… I thought maybe you were… seducing me,” he offered. “Which obviously you’re not because you wouldn’t but the spider story and the bubbles and Sansa’s text I don’t know! Isolation has made me crazy.” 

She giggled and held out her hand. He put her phone in it.

She read the text and shook her head, “She was telling me to kill the spider not to seduce her older brother in a towel like I was in some bad porno.” 

“Right,” he nodded, “That uh actually makes more sense.” He clapped his hands together, “So let’s find that spider!” 

“Wait,” she said. 

He looked around, “Do you see it?” 

“Just starting to,” she said. That was sort of a weird response so he turned back to look at her and saw that she was smiling slightly, her eyes shining at him. “You said…you too.” 

“What?” he clarified.

She shook her head, “When you thought I was seducing you… you said you wanted it too.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “That happened.” 

“Is that true?” she asked, “Or um… did you just like… see an opportunity?” 

Maybe it was the candles, or the fact that she was standing there in that little towel, or maybe, really, actually, it was just the fact that he had never seen Jon as happy as he had been ever since he’d finally just gotten over himself and told Sansa how he felt. 

“I uh… saw it as a chance…” he admitted, “To get what I’ve wanted for a really long time without risking losing one of my best friends on a full blown confession.” 

She stepped closer to him, “You’d never lose me.” And smiled, “And I like full blown confessions.” 

“Myrcella I-“ he started.

But she was standing on her tiptoes, a smile on her face as she tilted her face up to his, “I want this too.” 

Their lips touched and her breath caught and then he was wrapping her in his arms, kissing her more and more and more. He was holding her so tightly that it took him a moment to realize she was trying to lift his shirt.

“Really?” he asked.

She grinned, “Well there’s no reason to waste a perfectly good bubble bath… is there?” 

He pulled the towel off of her, letting it drop to the ground, his hands wandering over her perfect smooth skin. She pulled off his shirt and then pulled his sweats down and then they were both naked and were eagerly getting into the tub, slipping and sliding and laughing all the while. 

Finally they got in, and they got settled. He had his back to the edge of the tub and he had her legs pulled over his. She had bubbles all over her and looked beautiful and pleased with herself.

“I’m still not entirely convinced this wasn’t a ruse,” he told her.

She raised an eyebrow, “Oh no? Don’t believe there was a spider?” 

“Nope,” he shook his head.