#back sliding

Got double-punched with stupidity on the staff and a reprimand for spending too much time online during work hours.

I can't sleep tonight. Too much on my mind, I guess. I wish I had spent more time at my parents' house today with my dad for Father's Day but I did have things to do at home. I got a good deal of laundry done and for that I feel accomplished - I'm just about out of hangers and should be able to finish what I have left in two loads so I think I'm doing okay?

While doing laundry, I put away a lot of exercise clothes - that have been clean for a long time. They haven't seen any activity, no sweat, no sun, not even the gym. It made me sad, like I have been neglecting friends. And there are quite a few friends (Sam) who I have missed a great deal because I haven't been getting in my minutes or my miles.

I make a lot of time each day to eat, to drink, to internet, to bitch and moan about life (like I'm doing right now), and a lot of time to make excuses. I've been doing that a long time. I didn't race this weekend; the combination of a hangover and impending dust storm knocked the wind out of my sails.

But my sails didn't want to be full, anyway. They've been stuck in this stagnant position because I haven't been demanding more of myself.

I chose to take on two jobs and I said it's okay if my weight loss goals get put on a back burner for now, which is still true. But I'm gaining despite my activity at my second job, and the lack of bingeing during work. I'm still eating junk during the first job and not moving enough during either, or before or after.

So, ten minutes. If I can make excuses to do all of these other things with ten minutes of my day, I can commit to 7-ten minute work out sessions each week. Even if it's a brisk walk for my break at Fascinations instead of sitting outside and navel-gazing. I can track my walks on my phone and feel good again. I can do short runs. I can use my gym membership on days that I don't work both or either job. 

This week's goals:

No sweets/added sugar - including sugar free sweeteners. This means no diet soda, no cookies or muffins or cakes, no pumps of vanilla or hazelnut in my coffee. I need to break this sweet tooth and this is the only way I know how. I made it through all of today accordingly (including successfully battling a Thin Mint craving). I have grapes, blueberries, and peaches. I also have vanilla granola which I will allow in my yogurt because otherwise I won't eat the yogurt. And I need healthier breakfasts.

Subsequently, no more Starbucks breakfast sandwiches - or from anywhere else, either.

Downgrade to a Grande Americano. This may throw the baristas for a loop - no sweeteners and less coffee - but I don't need to OD on shitty coffee for them, and I surely don't need it for myself.

Gym session tomorrow. Find out if you still remember where the Y is :P Invite Dad. Settle for no less than thirty minutes.

Back Sliding – Dictionary.com describes back sliding as relapsing into old ways and bad habits, sinful behavior or undesirable activities.  My Zondervan Life Application Bible says it is moral lapse and unfaithfulness.  So today, let us purpose to stay free from sin and bondage and not slide back into pass behaviors, but press forward to the higher calling.

When we travel through the books of Kings and Chronicles, we find that there were numerous kings in Judah and Israel.  Several did evil in the site of the Lord.  Many did good for a time, but would later return to evil.  They would destroy the idols and the altars of the false gods and then there would be a trigger, something would occur that would sway them and turn them back to the ways of old. Their leadership was a poor model for the children of Israel and Judah, who would follow the ways of the Lord for a time, then they would intermarry with idol worshipers and forget the Lord who freed them from slavery and brought them out of bondage from Egypt.  These are both examples of backsliding.

Jeremiah 3:6   The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.  (Read Jeremiah 3:6-25)

Ezekeil 37:23  Neither shall they defile themselves any more with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions: but I will save them out of all their dwellingplaces, wherein they have sinned, and will cleanse them: so shall they be my people, and I will be their God.

Prayer