Today I babysat twice. Both sets were friends kids. The first set “pharma kids” (their mom is a pharmacist) kept asking me why I’m not married. The middle child, bless her heart, said her uncle just got divorced because his wife was cheating on him and I can be Aunt Raquel and have babies so they could have little cousins. The second set of kids I babysat “the dairy kids” (their grandparents own a dairy) also asked me why I wasn’t married. Anyway, their mother asked me if I knew her brother in law (which I do from HS) and the girls start saying “Marry my uncle! Please be our Aunt, Raquel!” All day they called me “Aunt Raquel”. These kids are getting more and more curious. They’re putting more pressure on me than my family!

Listen, you are 12; I am 40. I am in college; You are still using a locker. Get a grip. This cannot happen.