#babu.

because ****** ** *** ************ *** * ** *********

FUCK THEM we all moody babies when it comes down to it

“Nu-uh,” he tells her.

She insists on it, and when he finally agrees to come in the backyard and look, he finds Rayd standing at the garden gate and grinning at him. He smiles at his friend and scours the back yard as fast as he can and when he finds no faeries, he goes back inside and tells his little sister so. “I'm gonna go play with Rayden.”

“You know daddy doesn't like you playing with him,” she says, but neither of them really know why, and she's much more concerned with the lost faerie. He goes to talk to his friend and she skips into the back yard to search for her lost faerie. She's just old enough that once Hiro says it's Rayd, she believes him and sees her faerie as such.

“Bye, Mae,” Rayd says, smiling at her at the two boys go to leave.

She looks up and smiles at him absently. “Bye Hiro. That's a really pretty dress, Rayd.”

“Thanks,” Rayd says and blushes, tucking his long black hair behind one ear.

–

When Rayd is twelve, he's one of the smallest boys in their class. He still looks ten, and everybody teases him for it, but they don't really mean it. Or, if they do, they stop meaning it the second Rayd's eyes go wide and sad.

When a new boy joins their class, he picks on Rayd after school that day. Rayd's eyes go wide and sad, but when the boy doesn't stop, he steps forward and decks him in the face. Nobody believes the new boy when he tells them a boy half their size gave him a black eye and a bloody nose.

–

When Rayd is fifteen, they have a school dance. Rayd's nervous and flustered and embarrassed because his dad insists he wears a suit. He thinks he looks stupid, especially when his dad straightens his tie out and snaps a picture. “That's my proper little gentleman.”

“Dad, I feel silly,” he protests, but his dad is shaking the Polaroid picture out and showing it to him. He doesn't look great – he won't for a few years yet, but there's the makings of someone who looks damn good in a suit.

“Come on,” his dad says. “I'll drive you to the school.”

His dad does drive him there, but he texts him an hour later to tell him to catch the bus home because he's been called away on work. Rayd knows that's why he takes the pictures – so that he actually has documented information on his son growing up.

Rayd dances with all the girls in his class, but he's dancing exactly like they'd dance with each other. They think he looks dashing in a suit, and he laughs and smiles at them, but there's no affection in it. He makes a point to spill punch down himself less than two hours into the dance and excuses himself to the bathroom. He never comes back from the bathroom, just rides the bus home with a wet tie and a red-stained shirt and a driver who laughs at him and asks “strike out, kid?”

Rayd gets off at the stop nearest his house and walks in to find a few thousand yen on the table. He does the mental math and figures a week.

To: Dad

From: Rayd

See you next Friday :) <3

To: Rayd

From: Dad

okay.

–

When Rayd is seventeen, he's walking home from school when a gang blocks his path. “So we've noticed you like being a little faerie.”

Rayd looks down at himself and shrugs. He's not wearing a skirt today, just a tight pair of jeans and cute tanktop. He thinks he might have gone wrong at the high heels though.

“Look, you fucking queer. We don't like you messing up our neighborhood.”

“I don't live in your neighborhood,” Rayd points out, but he's already wriggling his foot loose from the shoes in case he has to run.

“Yeah, but us lettin' you walk through here in those prissy little things is disgraceful,” one of the boys says from the back of the group and the others nod their agreement.

“Well, I'm sorry about your grace then,” Rayd says and subtly kicks off his left shoe. In hindsight, having only one off is possibly worse than having both on. When they lung at him, he's off balance and when he falls, his ankle twists.

Tears well up in his eyes at the pain and the boys laugh. One of them leans down to taunt him. “Aw, look. The little faggot hurt himself.”

Rayd spits in his eye.

The fist hits his stomach with alarming force, sending his back hard into the concrete. One of the other boys stands on his check until he hears one of Rayd's ribs crack ominously. Rayd, for what he's worth, jams a three-inch heel into the last one's crotch, but that only pisses them off more and once the last boy recovers, they leave Rayd bruised and broken on the sidewalk.

He stumbles home well after dark, glad his father's at a work meeting in Beijing. He heals oddly fast, and hopefully most of the bruising will have faded by the time he gets home.

Rayd's not one to be put off by violence though, and the next time he travels through their neighborhood, he's gone all out. Skirt, see-through white top, a gentle dusting of make-up, and a pair of chucks. With the shoes, at least, he knows better.

When they try and corner him again, he sprays mace in all of their eyes and pins one against the wall, jamming one thigh between his legs and placing a hand over the boy's dick. “If you fuck with me again,” he threatens, voice low and ominous, “you'll never, ever have children.”

He tightens his fist, practically crushing the boy's cock and listens to him whimper. Letting go, he kisses the boy's cheek and whispers flirtatiously, “Come and play, big boy.”

They don't touch him again.

–

When Rayd is nineteen, he starts going to clubs. He still looks young, but you can't dispute a real I.D. When he wears button-up shirts and slacks, women flirt with him and he'll sometimes buy them drinks. He gets to third base with one of them, but when she starts rubbing up against his calf desperately and moaning around his cock with this kind of crass fakeness, he decides he's not a fan. He pushes her off, all arousal gone and drops a few-hundred yen at her feet while she looks at him in shock.

His eyes are hard. “Get a taxi home. Clean yourself up. Stop fucking guys you meet at bars.”

“Fuck you,” she snarls, but she still takes the money. When he sees her dancing a few minutes later, another drink in her hand and her shirt still buttoned all wrong, he sighs. Still, he can't help what she does, he decides.

He comes back the next weekend wearing a red dress and heels. He sees the same girl and winks at her. She stares in shock. He wants to say, “Look, honey. You were so bad I've turned to this.”

But he knows it's mean and doesn't say it because it's not true besides. He much prefers the man who flirts with him and buys him drinks to any woman in the bar. They escape off to a back room and Rayd sucks his cock, poise and perfection except for the hand gripping his hair and the real, appreciative moans that escape his mouth. When he goes out the the main area with the man wrapped around his finger, he smiles at her again. He licks his lips suggestively and tells her flat out, “Maybe you should come watch next time. You might learn something.”

She looks mortified. He doesn't go to that bar again. He knows that she'll start the rumors about his fanciful STD's in a few hours and he doesn't want to deal with that. He finds a nice gay bar instead where most of the men hitting on him are more than okay with the fact that he's male. He sleeps with a few of them, and one or two of the staff.