#babeintheunknown

A lot of changes have been happening in my life. For those who don’t know me personally, I graduated with my BFA in May and since then have been trying to find my way along. 

This week things have been particularly challenging as some relationships in my life have changed and some potential bad news about my job have come to light. I have a natural tendency to worry and I don’t particularly handle changes in my life well. However, in spite of all of this I woke up yesterday feeling really good about myself and who I am. I realized that all the stress in my life leading up to what I will call this breaking point was causing me to loose sight of the person I am and the person I want to be.Waking up I understood I have the right to be whoever I want and work toward something I am happy with. 

I have been calling this transitional part of my life an Inadvertent Rift. Something that would have inevitably happened regardless of my planning against it. However, with the copious amounts of time I spend in therapy, I am trying to teach myself to learn that ambiguity isn’t as scary as I once thought it to be but it is rather an opportunity to be flexible with my life and where I am going. 

The truth is, I have so much to be grateful for in the face of bad news.

I have decided that this is a new beginning and a new me. 

New me spends time in the park reading tarot cards and drawing. New me has been making lots of artwork (sorry, I really dislike posting my work). New me goes for wonderful walks in the city and unwinds from her day watching Bob’s Burgers and reading David Sadaris. And New me is only gonna be happier as she is also more adaptive to change and doesn’t judge herself for changing and allows herself to grow.

I am still in my Inadvertent Rift, and I might be for a while, but that’s ok. Good things can still happen in this time. (and some very good things are already in the works!)