I am kinda stuck hating and cursing my very own self. I feel like exploding with all this pent up emotion. And that the only thing that keeps me from doing so is that no one can ever save me and that truth hurts 72 times more than the thought of exploding full blast.
I know that I've always been emotional, and the fact that I care too much isn't making my life any bearable,it's even spicing up the drama. It's in my nature to get too attached with people who really inspires and add reason to why I wake up each morning, (I know, it's pathetic). But believe me, as lame as it may seem, it makes me more human. But the people that I care for is starting to make me feel un-human.
I may appear as if I'm not making any sense, but I just have to let this all out.
Is it that hard to talk to me? I bet not, 'cause we've been talking since the day we met. And most of the time it's you who initiates the conversation. I truly treasure those times you know, especially if we'll talk endlessly about everything and anything under the sun or in our case the moon. What did we had during those times? where everything is seamless, where you just easily let your heart out and I just foolishly listen albeit I still have a lot of things to attend to, where you always send me a random sms just to make sure that I'm already at home sleeping, and how disappointed you'll be if you found out that I'm still on my 2-hour journey from work to home. If I enumerate all these things it will take me 72 more blog entries. But the end point is? whatever happen to what we had before? Was it me? did you finally realize how awful of a companion I am? Or were you annoyed by my non stop ranting? Or ... please... feed me with the details. I can't go on like this, YOU perfectly know how awful I can be when I over analyze everything, and you can't blame me if I'm over analyzing now. 1. I have all the rights to do so. 2. I have all the rights to do so. 3. I have all the rights, and it is as if as you care to even tell me to stop over analyzing. 4. Since when did you care anyway? -- 'cause I'm starting to think that the sole reason why we had those times is because I'm the only one left, is that it? was I the only one left? left to listen to all of your too good to be true escapades? I hope not... 'cause if that's the real reason. Then... Fuck you. but you know what? the funny thing here is that... I still look up to you and I can bet all that I have that when we meet again, all of the ranting that I have in this blog entry will simply be forgotten... See, I am that naive.