Azriel strikes me as a male that is willing to take on a new hobby, and though centuries of training has made him the feared Spymaster, the Shadowsinger, there are just some things he canât seem to masterâlike baking (but thatâs okay because his love takes that title in the kitchen đ). Heâs notorious for letting his shadows run amok while he focuses on his task at hand in an effort to âhelp cleanup,â though it usually ends up with a larger mess all over the place. However, our dear Azriel is tenacious and someone who will continue to offer to help despite his lack of skills.
For Day 5: Hobbies, I wanted to showcase Azriel trying to take on something new, and @/luxury_banshee did just that. I donât think I couldâve pictured this any better than what she created and I am so grateful for this absolutely stunning art. Thank you, my dear for collaborating with me on this and bringing this artwork to life. You were a pleasure to work with. đ«¶đ
Also, you can bet Elain is off to the side, giving him a thumbs up, but internally going, âMy kitchenâŠâ đ
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azriel was a child living in a true hell on earth house and still âŒïž my boy remained compassionate, hopeful and trusting to those who show him kindness and i---
Happy Free Day @azrielshadowsingerweek!! I've had this fic idea in my head for a while and decided to share it for the last day of Azriel week. It's heavily inspired by a few Friends episodes combined into one. Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome. Negative and rude comments are not tolerated. đ
Her family ran around her to finalize their packing when said male stopped directly in her line of vision. Â
His warm, scarred palms gripped her upper arms, thumbs brushing over the exposed skin from her t-shirt. âI canât believe you arenât coming to my wedding.â Azrielâs face looked almost disappointed.
Well, that made two of them. Actually, she was far past disappointed.
She was devastated.
âI know, Iâm sorry.â Elain wasnât. Not sorry in the slightest. She couldnât go watch him marry somebody else.
âCome to Illyria with us. Please? I want you there.â
His words cut her straight to the heart and she had to choke down the ache in her throat that threatened to make tears run down her cheeks. âI canât.â
Those hazel eyes pleaded with her. âYou can. I canât not have my best friend at my wedding, El. Please come.â
Fuck him and trying to manipulate her with that comment. Elain pulled herself from his grasp. âI canât. I have to work,â she said stubbornly.
Challenge flared on his face. âCall in sick. Youâre only missing two days.â
The room went silent as their family watched their little interaction. Elain hated this the most. How he chose to do this in front of everyone else instead of in private. It was unlike him, to pick a time when the others were present and bring this conversation up. He mustâve thought he could convince her to come if she felt pressured to go with everyone observing.
It only made her double down on her reservations.
âNo. I canât just leave Ceriddwen and Nuala on their own. You know how my boss is. Besides, Feyre needs me. Rhys hates leaving her behind but she canât fly at seven months pregnant. She needs me here.â
Elain saw the defeat pass over his expression.
Azriel sighed, eyes looking sad. âFine. Iâll see you when I get back.â Seemingly without thought, he brushed his thumb over the apple of her cheek and then swept from the apartment like a shadow on the breeze.
Her face tingled from where he touched her and she felt every single pair of eyes branding on the back of her figure. Not able to take the sad looks, the pity of her family, Elain went into her bedroom without a word and silently clicked the door shut behind her. Only once she was securely inside did she let the tears fall as she wept for her broken heart.
~~~
Elain and Feyre ate the Cassian specialâtwo pizzasâin silence, having already gone through the argument of if they should talk about that conversation with Azriel before he had left.
âIâm just saying, it seemed like it hurt him to not have you there,â Feyre queried, taking another slice of pizza from the box.
She scoffed. âWell, I guess we canât all get what we want now, can we.â
Her sister blinked at the hostility. âWhatâs going on with you, Ellie?â
Fuck her, she didnât want to talk about this. âNothing.â
âCut the bullshit. We had all thought that when Az told you that he loved you, you twoââ
âWhen he what?â she cut her off, gaping.
Feyre blinked. âAt your birthday last year. He was planning on telling you he loved you.â Her face went from realization to utter horror. âOh my god, he didnât tell you because you showed up withââ
âWith Lucien,â Elain breathed, her stomach turning with nausea. The red-headed man had been nothing but a mistake that lasted five months. They werenât compatible in the slightest romantic-wise, but they did make out to be good friends. âAzriel was going to tell me he loved me?â
âFuck, I shouldnât have said that. Oh my, he is going to kill me.â Feyre buried her face in her hands.
She couldnât breathe. She couldnât think. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it might go into cardiac arrest. Azriel loved her. Was going to tell her he loved her. But he didnât, because she had been so blindingly stupid. And by the time she ended things with Lucien, he had met her.
Gwyn.
A nice girl.
Nestaâs friend.
Elain had no real particular feelings for her. Other than the fact that she was marrying the man she loved.
And she needed to stop it.
She didnât think, she just moved, running for her room and started throwing things into her bag. Clothes, undergarments, a dress, shoes, toiletries. Whatever she could find, she packed. Grabbing her passport, she emerged from her bedroom to a wide-eyed Feyre.
âWhatâwhere are you going?â she demanded.
âI have to tell him I love him,â she said determined as she made her way towards the door.
Her sister gaped. âElain! Heâs marrying somebody else! Somebody he loves! You canât do this to him.â
She whirled. âHe deserves to know!â
A very pregnant Feyre pushed herself off the couch and advanced on her. âWhat do you think is going to happen? That heâs going to end things with Gwyn? That heâll tell you that he loves you too?â
âIâll figure it out when I get there,â she told her, voice clouding with emotion. She had to do this. She had to tell him before it was too late.
Feyreâs eyes turned hard. âYouâre just going to hurt him, Elain. Youâre not a cruel person, but doing this, going there to tell him nowâŠthis is cruel.â
She felt the words like her sister had struck her. Tears welled in her eyes even as her heart told her she had to do thisâhad to see him. âI have avoided my heart for too long, Feyre. Iâm finally going to listen to it. And youâre not going to stop me.â
Without another word, she slammed the apartment door behind her.
~~~
Elain found the temple on top of Mount Ramiel easily enough. She wasnât expecting half of it to be crumbling like it was being torn down, but she disregarded that as she searched for Azriel.
She knew Feyre likely had called Rhys and told her she was on the way and that both he and Cassian would try and stop her in her endeavors to tell Azriel how she felt. So, as she made her way through the temple, she kept to the shadows, crept down the halls, and avoided anyone who would alert them to her presence.
But when she found him, all of her plans came to a screeching halt. Because there he was, in his tux looking as handsome as ever, hugging Gwyn in the middle of where the ceremony was going to take place.
Her stomach dropped at seeing the special, intimate moment between them, but she was frozenâcouldnât seem to get her feet to move, to turn around and leave before he saw her.
âOh!â Gwyn seemed to realize what she was doing. âYou arenât supposed to see the bride in her wedding gown before the ceremony. Itâs bad luck.â
Az chuckled, and gods, it was the sound she loved so much. It cut her straight to the heart, though it wasnât nearly the same sound that Elain was able to pull from him. âI think we can call this the âfirst lookâ and avoid that issue, canât we?â
She reached out to touch his cheek, a soft smile playing on her lips. âI think that will work.â Her fingers brushed his jaw. âIâll see you at the altar.â Gwyn strode for the door behind her, not having seen her.
Azriel watched her go, smiling before he turned and halted, mouth hanging open as he finally saw her standing there.
âElain,â he breathed like he couldnât believe it. âYouâre here.â
She swallowed the horrid lump in her throat. Feyre had been right. This was a mistake. An awful, huge, horrendous mistake. âI am,â she choked out.
He took three long strides and swept her into his arms, hugging her like he hadnât seen a more wonderful sight in years.
Her chest fractured. She shouldnât have come. And now she couldnât do anything but lie to his face. âI couldnât miss my best friend getting married, now could I?â The words were like acid on her tongue. She wanted to take them back, tell him how she felt. But after seeing that moment with Gwyn, Elain knew she couldnât. It was wrong. He was happy. And how could she be the one to break that?
So, sheâd break hers instead.
But Azriel knew her better than she knew herself. His hazel eyes assessed her face, mouth drew into a frown. âAre you all right? You look upset.â
Damn him. âFine.â She begged her lips to quirk up a bit. âJust jetlagged.â
It looked like he wanted to pick at it more, but somebody else called her name.
âElain.â Pure, unrelenting command filled that voice.
They looked up to find Rhys staring at them, his eyes regarding their closeness carefully.
She knew what he was trying to figure out. If she had told Azriel the truth. So, she pulled back. âIâm going to freshen up before the ceremony. Donât want to smell like an airplane on your big day. Iâll see you soon.â Elain left Azriel standing there and went towards her brother-in-law, who put his arm around her shoulder to guide her from the room.
Once out of earshot, he asked her, âDid you tell him?â
âNo.â
Rhys let out a breath. âIâm sorry, Elain.â
Not wanting to talk about her failed love life, she kept her mouth shut and let her tears fall down her cheeks.
He escorted her to the groomsmenâs area so she could change and clean herself up. At the door was Cassian. He shot her a sympathetic smileâone she did not return. âPlease keep him out," Elain requested before sequestering herself inside the room.
A half-hour later, she was sitting in her spot, watching Gwyn float down the aisle towards her future husband. She looked beautiful in her white gown, but Elain couldnât help but think it shouldâve been her walking down. That she shouldâve been the one to be marrying Azriel. It killed her on the inside to see him marrying somebody else.
But he looked happy as he watched Gwyn approach. That was the only thing Elain ever wanted for him, knowing Azriel came from such a shitty lifeâa horrible childhood. He deserved to have that happiness. Even if it was with somebody else.
And it was time for her to make some happiness for herself.
She had yet to tell her family that a job opportunity had presented itself to her overseas. Elain hadnât decided before, but now she had. She couldnât be around Azriel anymore. Not with him married and likely to start a family soon. She needed a fresh start somewhere else. Where nobody knew who she was.
Elain would tell them when she returned home. Sheâd have to leave immediatelyâbefore he even got back. It was better this way. Perhaps now sheâd be able to get over the pain of losing him. Could you technically lose something youâd never had?
âAnd now for the vows,â the minister announced. He turned towards Gwyn. âGwyneth, repeat after me. âI Gwyneth, take you, Azriel, to be my lawful, wedded husband. In sickness and in health, until death parts us.ââ
Gwyn repeated his words, teal eyes shining bright. She and Azriel were facing each other, though they had yet to touch. She thought it odd that they werenât at least holding hands, but perhaps it was because Az disliked contact and hand-holding.
He really only ever let her touch his hands, now that sheâd come to think of it.
Elain glanced at her sister, NestaâGwynâs maid of honor. She looked so happy for her friend. Their other friend, Emerie a step behind her.
The minister then turned towards Azriel and began again.
Her heartbeat thumped wildly in her chest, against her throat. She thought she might get sick.
âRepeat after me. âI Azriel.ââ
âI Azriel,â he said, midnight voice slithering over her bones.
âTake you, Gwyneth.â
âTake you, Elain.â
The entire room turned to ice as a deafening silence settled over them.
Elainâs blood roared in her ears, her breathing becoming unsteady. Did heâ
Rhys and Cassian gaped at their brother, unsure of what to do.
Her stomach somersaulted. A mistake like that was so unlike Azriel. It had to do with her presence. She had fucked up coming here. Now, all she wanted was for the ground to completely swallow her whole.
Please donât look at me. Please donât look at me.
Elain chanted the mantra in her head, but it seemed like that only encouraged him to do it more. Because Azriel turned his head and locked eyes with her, pinning her on the spot. She felt several other sets warily turn in her direction, regarding her, judging her. Her face heated, but she kept her focus on him. Watched him watching her.
And then he turned back to Gwyn and slowly took a step back. To others, his face wouldâve remained impassive, but Elain could read it perfectly.
It was panic.
No.
She royally fucked up. Tears were already streaming down her face when Nesta caught her eye. She looked torn between going to her sister in the crowd or staying put next to the one she stood beside.
Elain swallowed and realized, she couldnât breathe. She had to get out before she began hyperventilating. Rising from her seat, she ignored the gasp from one of the other attendees and slipped out onto the aisle. She didnât need to look back at the altar to know those hazel eyes were once again glued on her retreating figure. She felt them on her back the entire way as she excused herself from the temple, quickly grabbing her bag from where she left it in the groomsmenâs room, and fled, taking her shattered heart with her.
~~~~~
Azriel fucked up. Oh, gods, he had fucked up so badly. Not just in saying the wrong name at the altar, but in the many, many, many decisions he had made that got him to this point. He knew he had a choice to make.
Gods, he was such a fucking asshole. But he had to end this.
Az took another small step back. âIâm so sorry, Gwyn.â And he meant it with every fiber of his being. âIâm sorry that I cannot give you my heart because it is not mine to give anymore.â Tears lined her teal eyes, but he steeled himself to get through this. He had to get out his apologies to her. Az owed her that much. âI gave it away a long time ago to somebody else, and I donât think I realized that I never got it back. I donât think she even realizes that she has it, but you donât deserve to be with someone who cannot fully love you in the way that they should. And I am so sorry that Iâm doing this to you now, that I didnât figure this out before this very moment, but marrying you would be dishonest. I will always regret putting you through this because you deserve better than that. Better than me.â
Gwyn scoffed, wiping at the tears running down her face. âI canât believe youâre doing this.â She shook her head. âBut Iâm not going to stop you from following your heart.â Her fingers wrapped around the ring on her left hand. Sliding it off, she held it out to him. âHere, take it.â
She dropped the ring into his scarred palm. âI really am sorry, Gwyn.â
âJust go, Azriel.â
He didnât need to be told twice. Bolting down the aisle, he chased after the love of his life when he heard two sets of steps sounding behind him and thenâŠ
âAz!â
Whirling, he found Rhys and Cassian had followed him. âWhat?â
âGroomsmenâs room. Thatâs where she got ready and likely where she went to get her bag,â Rhys said, panting.
He was running. Running for her, hoping, praying, she didnât slam the door in his face. Heâd give anything to make it right with her. Gods, he shouldâve just told her that night on her birthday that he loved her as he had planned, new boyfriend be damned. Az threw open the door to where he and his brothers had gotten ready and found it, empty.
Utterly and completely empty.
âElain!â he called out in a panic. She had to be here. Where else could she have gone? His brothers followed him in, Cassian making a straight beeline to the window. âElain, are you here?â he called out again, looking in the bathroom.
âAz!â Cassian hollered, his eyes wild with regret.
His stomach plummeted when he looked back at his brother and saw him point out the window. His gaze drifted out the glass and he saw her, golden-brown hair blowing in the breeze. She looked stunning in her pink dress, even with her back to him. But that the slump of her shoulders told him that she was upset.
And then he saw the absolute worst thing possible. A car pulled up in front of her and Elain climbed into the backseat.
âNo. Elain!â he pounded a hand on the window, surprised it didnât shatter under the force of his palm. His heart slammed against his ribcage as he took off running again. Down the hallway, he took the stairs two at a time, leaping the last four steps until he burst out into the courtyard of the temple only to find her car gone. âNo, no, no! Fuck!â His hands slid into his hair, gripping the strands in frustration.
âCome on!â Cassian grabbed his shoulder. âIâve got the rental car over here.â
His eyes widened. âWhere are we going?â
His brother shook him in disbelief. âThe airport, you dumbfuck! Where do you think? If youâre going to go after her and admit your feelings, youâre going to do it right. Now letâs go.â
They drove as fast as they could to the Illyrian international airport. After having to purchase three tickets to get through the gates, they managed to find the boarding plane for Velaris.
âI donât see her,â he panicked. âWhere is she?â
The three of them searched the crowd until they saw her short stature; golden-brown hair bobbing into the tunnel.
âElain!â he shouted. âElain!â Az ran over towards where she was, but she had disappeared out of sight. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He had missed her. He missed his chance.
Until Cassian cupped his mouth and bellowed, âEEEELLLLAAAIIINNNNNN!!!!!!â
He and Rhys turned to look at him incredulously.
âDude, the fuck?â Rhys said.
But it worked, because there she was, standing at the entrance of the terminal. Her eyes were wide, shocked.
Az just moved towards her, like a moth to a flame. A magnet. A man under a spell. His feet ate up the ground between them in a few strides until she had to crane her neck back to look up at him. Those eyesâthose incredibly, beautiful, doe eyes blinked at him.
âWhat,â she breathed, âWhat are you doing here?â she asked when he reached out and took her arm to gently move her out of the way of the other passengers.
He opened his mouth, a heavy breath heaving from his chest in a great whoosh. âEl, I have been such a stupid male. A stupid, stupid male. Because I have been searching for the right person to share my life with and Iâve always known it should be you.â Her body started to shake, so he tightened his grip on her elbow. âYou are my best friend, the one person I choose to seek out to spend time with. You bring me comfort and joy and happiness in a way I never imagined myself finding.â He brushed her hair behind her ear, let his knuckles graze her cheek, and then cupped the side of her face. âI love you, Elain. I am in love with you. Fuck, itâs always been you.â
Tears were flowing down her face. Shit, he made two women cry today. He really was an asshole. Her eyes flicked between his.
Az was able to read Elain well for most of the time that he had known her, but at that moment, that critical spot in time, he couldnât. He couldnât tell if it was hope or pain or happiness or anguish or anything else on her face. And the realization scared him to death because he didnât know what to expect her to say.
âAzriel.â
Oh god, no. Not his full name. She may as well as stuck a dagger in his gut and left him to bleed out on the floor of the airport.
âWhat are you doing?â she asked, shaking her head.
He licked his lips, wetting them and giving himself a moment to process her question. âI came for you.â
âWhat about Gwyn?â
âItâs over between us, El.â She visibly flinched at the name. âPlease, Elain. Please believe me when I tell you that I love you.â
A sob tore from her throat and she placed her palm on his chest. Had to feel his rapidly beating heart beneath her splayed fingers. âBut would you have realized you loved me had I not shown up?â
âBut you did, El, you did. I just needed that reminderâthe wake-up call. I have always loved you, Elain. And I wanted to tell youââ
âOn my birthday,â she frowned.
He gaped. âHow did youâŠFeyre.â He sighed, more to himself. âYes, I wanted to tell you on your birthday, but you showed up with Lucien and you looked happy with him. How could I ruin that when I only wanted you to be happy?â He stepped closer to her, crowding her until she avoided his gaze and looked down at their feet. âWhy did you show up at my wedding, Elain?â
Her head snapped up, but she didnât respond.
âWhat did you want to tell me before you caught me and Gwyn? I know you didnât just decide to come.â
She shook her head. âIt doesnât matter now.â
Like hell was he taking that for an answer. He took both her hands between his and squeezed them. âIt matters to me. Tell me, Elain.â
Another shake of her head sent her hair swaying. âIt doesnât matter because Iâm leaving Velaris.â
Every thought in his head went silent. The world around him stilled. âWhat?â
She swallowed. âI got a job offer for an amazing pastry place overseas and Iâm taking it. I leave in a few days to meet with the owner.â
Final boarding call for flight 617 to Velaris.
Elain glanced over her shoulder at the open archway of the terminal.
Was she actually considering leaving? He tightened his grip on her hands. âElain, please donât get on that plane right now. We can fly home tomorrow. Together.â Azriel had a feeling if she left right now, sheâd be gone before he got home.
She began trying to pull away. âIâm sorry, Az. I canât do this. IâI just canât. Iâm sorry.â Her fingers slipped away and he stood there rooted on the spot as he watched her walk away from him.
He was too late.
~~~
The car ride back to the temple and then to the hotel had been brutal. Azriel said maybe three words to his brothers who had watched the whole interaction with Elain. Both had offered him their condolences like heâd lost a loved one. Which, he supposed he had. Arriving back at the temple made it even worse, especially when Nesta came up and shoved him.
âHow dare you do this to them!â she screamed.
Cassian snatched her around the waist, but in all honesty, heâd love to have her just beat the shit out of him. Maybe that wouldâve made him feel better.
âNesta, not now,â Cassian stated.
âNot now?â she screeched. âShould I do it after I take the non-bride-to-be back to the hotel? And where is my sister?â
Az looked at the eldest Archeron. âShe left.â
Realization donned her face. âWell, I hope youâre happy now, Azriel.â Turning on her heel, she left the three males out in the parking lot. He deserved her fury, he reminded himself. Az had hurt her friend and her sister. Nesta had every right to hate him.
Now in his hotel room alone, he nursed a glass of whiskey, his bowtie undone and hanging around his neck. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he turned it back on and waited for his notifications to come up.
And then one popped up that had his heart racing. A voicemail from Elain.
He sat up straight, set his glass and phone down on the table, and pressed the speaker button to play the recording.
Her beautiful voice filled the room.
âHi, Az. Itâs me. I just got back on the plane and Iâm thinking about everything. I hated leaving things the way we did. You came to me saying all these things and I wasnât expecting you to show up like that, and I was just afraid of getting hurt again. So, I fled, and I know I hurt you in the process. And Iâm so sorry because that was never my intention.â She sniffed and gods, it hurt him to hear her upset again. âAnd I didnât even get to tell you that I love you too. Because I do, I love you.â
He made a soft, pathetic sound. His throat ached with unshed tears and he had to tip his head back against the couch.
âI love you,â she said again. âI love you. What am I doing? I love you. I love you. I need to see you. I have to get off this plane.â
âOh my god,â he breathed, looking down at his phone sitting on the tabletop. He heard some rummaging around and thenâ
âI have to get off this plane.â
âMaâam sit down.â
âMiss, please. I just need to tell somebody that I love them.â
âI canât let you off this plane.â
Az, in his own world, shouted, âLet her off the plane!â
âPlease, you donât understand!â
âTry to understand!â he cried.
âOh, come on, miss! Isnât there any way you can just let me offââ
The line went dead as the voicemail cut out. âNo, no, no! Did she get off the plane?â He tapped his screen like it would hold all the answers.
âI got off the plane.â
He whirled around, and there she stood, keycard in hand. Azriel didnât utter a sound. No, he just moved to her. His long legs swallowed up the space between them in a few strides until shoved the door behind her shut, cradled her gorgeous face between his scarred palms, and kissed her senselessly.
Elain melted, whimpering against his mouth. She dropped her bag and the keycard on the ground in favor of sliding her fingers into the hair at his nape, securing him to her.
His lips worshiped hers, tongue tracing the seam and begging for entry. When she granted him access, he took every advantage, sweeping in to claim her mouth. He kissed her until every thought eddied from either of them. Until they were panting for breath. Until he knew he conveyed every emotion, every feeling of his love for her into that single encounter with her.
She pulled back, resting her forehead on his. âIâm so sorry, Az. Iâm sorry I left you there.â
He shushed her. âYouâre here now. Iâm sorry it took me so long to have the balls to tell you that I love you.â
Elain chuckled, eyes lined with tears. âWe have a lot to figure out.â
âWe will,â he told her earnestly, taking one of her hands from his neck and spreading her palm across his chest. âTogether. Because Iâm never letting you go again, Elain. Iâm all in. If youâre moving overseas for a new job, then Iâm going with you.â
She gaped at him. âWhat about your job?â
He shrugged. âIâll get a new one. The point is, is that whatever and wherever life takes you, just know that I want to be right by your side. Forever.â
Elain let out a choked sound. âI love you, Azriel.â
His thumb stroked her cheek, wiping the tear that fell. âI love you too, Elain.â When he kissed her again, Az saw his entire future line up in front of him and finally, it felt right.
~~~~~~
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