#azelarambles

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"You have nothing to say, do you?" The words came quieter now, colder. "Because you know I'm right. Because you know—no matter how much you pretend you belong with them, you don't. Not even that Fairy you feel so strongly for."

Artemisia flinched.

Ali Baba continued. "It is so obvious...did you think I would not notice it? That you like him more than you show?" A hand grabbed the blue sash—blood-soaked, torn, frayed. The flower, the symbol of her name and homeland, dangled by a single thread.

"You are from two different worlds. You will never be like him. And he will never understand you, beings like him, don't go well with beings like you." His fingers tightened. "So stop pretending. All you are..." tears roll down her cheek "...is a walking mistake that should have rotted away. That's what you are—and that's all you will ever be to him too. He will never love you. You don't deserve Love."

More tears fell down her cheek.

"You don't even deserve to live."

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very painful...and bloody.

That's how we like that—okay that's enough dark romance cringy jokes.

So, topic—Guinevere. I think many of us had the same view when we first saw Guinevere being introduced as a character, especially as the love interest to Lancelot. Additionally, Lancelot, being the son of a couple the fandom was already having major heavy discussions on, was probably just making this exact couple more of a minefield.

So—before you come for my ass, thinking I am into this: a preteen being in love with a teen. No, I do not like the ship. I do believe I will quite enjoy it in the future (heavy here leaning on the word future, as in a future where both are legal adults and not just the SDS meaning of adult).

From the small peek we got of Guinevere's personality, I think she is a nice counterpart to Lancelot.

However, her being introduced as his lover at the age of 12 and him being 16 is more than just a bitter taste. Like, we already went through that with Ban and Elaine. Why again? Why? (At least with the topic of age speaking, Elaine was at least not under 18!)

I believe it's even worse, because Lancelot's parents are this heavily problematic seen couple. But somehow, the dislike of this hate is being kind of led into hate solely on Guinevere. Which I found kind of... lame? Yeah, that's the word.

(Not saying you should hate on my boy Lance—hold your fingers from writing hate yo.)

Because if we think about it, from the perspective of not just fans watching the series and reading the manga, but from a more hyperfixational view (aka me and my dead ass) and a more writer perspective... I think Guinevere is a really good character.

Her ability is such a fascinating spectrum that I cannot stop praising. Not only do I think this name is freaking cool (leave me be, I mean this name is so metaphoric.), but also how her character is so understandable because of her ability.

You get what I mean? Maybe not—but don't worry, I am a professional rambler and made to come to a point in the messiest way possible. But I am sidetracking—once again.

If you have read the manga, you will notice very soon that she is much more mature than another child would ever be at her age. Take as an example—Tristan in the last chapter of SDS. And I am aware that in this chapter he was ten and she is twelve now, and there is a difference in maturity between 10 and 12, but 10 is still closer to 12 than 16 is.

Now it should be logical that Guinevere is as mature as she is shown because of her ability. I mean, she did say she lives the future as if it is reality. And just the imagination of reliving your life, your future as a child as if it is reality, is such a concept I could go on and on about.

Being able to see your future as if it is reality, like living in the future by actions an older version of you does, but with the eyes of a child—I mean come on, as if this does not make you mature quickly. Just imagine how terrifying this is, being 3—5 and you just see your future.

Yes, she is a child, you can see it in the way she acts when she is happy. Making silly poses when Lancelot is flustered, jumping on his back, dancing in the rain, how she even tells Lancelot with no context that she is his lover, how she confronts Arthur by calling out how weird her becoming his bride is. Just a very kid-like behavior.

But then you see how she talks, how she drinks her tea in a very mature, feminine way, the way she handles the problems before her.

And not because she is a princess.

It's a maturity she only got by reliving a future where she is really an adult. And if you add to this whole trauma the fact—the trauma of knowing that in the future she will be kidnapped (quite literally kid) and be isolated in a tower—Rapunzel-like.

You get what I mean? Right??

Her being hyperfixated, or wanting to kiss Lancelot so badly the moment they met, is actually really understandable. Reread the chapters where she and Lancelot talk, she is saying that now that she has seen him, she can go through the miserable things that will happen to her. (very important line)

It's common that if you are in a place so down, that the smallest light becomes your everything, your reason to even try surviving. And in Guinevere's case, this is Lancelot.

On one side, she is having those dreams of living, forced to live with a man who only uses her for her magical abilities. Being reduced to a weapon while knowing who will die and never being able to fully commit to a real relationship with someone—because she probably knows exactly how this person's fate will play out.

On the other hand, she is finding love in the darkness: Lancelot. He is like the light in her nightmares. Guinevere is probably thinking: 'Even if the world is turning out shitty, I'm gonna have him.'

But judging by Guinevere's reaction while retelling their love story, it will end with his death or something equally painful. So she must have held onto this love story—onto Lancelot.

Side belief here real quick: I also believe this messes with your head so badly, finding the difference between reality and dream. Guinevere must have gone mad, you can't tell me otherwise (Side track of the side belief: One day I will make a one-shot of her not knowing if Lancelot is just part of her dream or reality and he has to assure her that he is in fact real. Such a cute and trauma shot)

So yeah—it's pretty understandable that she would kiss him when they first saw each other. After all, he was her hope, her light in all her dreams, and she finally gets to hold him and love him in reality. You can see her happiness in the scene where she dances in the rain.

What does break my heart is the fact she was so happy to see Lancelot, even though knowing she will be taken to her nightmares (Camelot) one day after it.

And yeah—that's how deep Guinevere's character actually runs. And this is just the surface if you ask me. We can go on and on about the fact that maybe Guinevere has relived her life more than just one time (like multiple times), or that she has once tried to defy fate and had to bear the consequences, and on and on.

In conclusion to my very long and endless rambling, I do believe that Guinevere and Lancelot's age difference is extremely uncomfortable.

But her having feelings for him at the age of 12 and kissing him—is actually very understandable and to be expected at this point. And point on now—Lancelot holds no feelings for Guinevere. So it's not weird (yet, let's hope it won't be).

And the hate she gets and how easily misinterpreted she is, is so ridiculous to me. Not gonna lie. I just don't get it bros.

Not being angry if you do not like her—choice is yours. But I do like her, and how she holds herself against Arthur in the manga. It's funny and cool at the same time. And something new in the world of seven deadly sins.

But what do I know? I am just a girl rambling over nothing really, but pooring my thoughts out on a manga character. Damn...what my live has become babes.

Writing should make fun, writing one word should motivate you to write more—but it will not always do that. Sometimes you just do not feel like writing, sometimes you will feel like you can not write at all, sometimes you will feel like you are the dumbest person on earth trying to be Shakespeare. 

( I feel like a motivation coach doing those weird ads—anyways!! (゜゜;)(。。;) )

But then again, it’s fanfiction. I know I am the last person to say this, but all this is supposed to make fun. Writing should be fun, it should be enjoyed and shared and then supported. But when you start writing something you don’t fully enjoy you will never be able to write a word down. ( kinda poetic, I think my inner poet just came out )

My second best advice is, if you can not write it or can not continue writing it, maybe it is because it lost the fun. Maybe what you wrote before does not excite you as it should. For example, (I am not some self centered girly pop I swear) When I write about Artemisia I get excited, when I write fight scenes I get excited because there will be one scene that will be so cool and I will love it so I will continue.

To write something with commitment it should make fun, your character should make fun, the scene you are writing, the things you write they should make fun. ( I said that very often and I am repeating myself but for me it's the truth )

I know it's easier said than done, and a big lie. There will be times you will not have fun writing, where everything seems wrong, that’s okay. To have much fun, you often must have no fun at all.

To not lose myself in endless rambling and stuff...

My biggest advice on staying committed.

1. One word a day is more than no word a day. Even when you delete it, it is still a step forward, never backwards.

2. Have fun writing. What is the meaning in crafting a fanfiction when you yourself can not enjoy it? 

3. Bad days will come, but good days will follow and so on.

4. Create something you yourself will get excited reading, put pieces of yourself in. Your thoughts on topics, your opinions, maybe even your culture. Facts you love! Make your character a piece of your heart.

5. Just because others have more votes, comments or even views, it does not mean your story is worth less than theirs. Fanfiction is supposed to be a present to the community. It should be shared and enjoyed, not put next to each other and a fight of who is better.

6. Do not force yourself to write like other writers. Write how you write the happiest. I love to ramble, put many flashbacks and make even my villains understandable people. Others do not like writing like that. Does not mean mine or theirs is worth less respect or appreciation.

AGAIN! Those are my tips after many years of reading fanfiction, writing ones, and reading more. I hope of course they help you, but I can not guarantee it. Do not plan to write a fanfiction just do it ( not nike sponsored )

Many new writers who are coming from tt are always like "Oh I can not write, I don't know how", "Oh I will use Ai to do it and post it, because I can not write" or "I am only wanna do it so I can have votes and likes"

NO! Write it for fun guys! I am begging you! Just write it and enjoy it.

Not pointing fingers by the way, I am just writing what I am think with no second thoughts. I hope I could help bro!! q(^-^q)