hope you're doing alright, friend
i mean. i'm not dead which is good! one of my three blood pressure readings a day is technically not hypertensive now (i am on like 400mg of various meds to achieve this feat) (by which i mean 158/90 instead of 165/95+. this doesnt apply to when i'm on dialysis because on those days im consistently 210/120 which is. Really Bad!). also my transplant is probably fucked because they a) found a microscopic kidney stone in my dad's kidney so if that comes back as a certain type he's ruled out PLUS his renal artery is like. a touch thinner than the normal person so if the surgeon doesn't like it that's him ruled out from ever being an organ donor ever. still like half blind and constantly scared and crying and every 48 hours the dialysis machine makes me feel like im dying because every part of the process is too intense for my body but basic guidelines state i must endure the higher frequency or they're failing in their duty of care. and i gained and lost 15kg over the course of 10 days and my trauma is all over the show but the renal nurses think i'm a model patient and would be an ideal candidate for a peer support volunteer which. lmao
so i guess on the balance of things i'm a 4.5/10? sometimes i sleep and don't even have nightmares every night.
