#azazel marvel

Azazel comes home to the sight of his barely 21 year old son hanging from the stairs by his tail, looking hung over and exhausted, and the remnants of what could only be assumed to have once been a party Kurt wasn't supposed to be throwing. The speakers are still going but have long since blown out and the flashing multicolored lights have died out, indicating the party had started a while ago and simply hadn't stopped until Azazel was due back from his trip. Unfortunately for Kurt it would seem he had not enhereted his father's intelligence, only his mutation

The sun was rising gracefully on the beach as the gentle waves lapped the shore. The whole scene was so calm and inviting on the side he was facing, that this path could only lead him to a great new morning...

Unfortunately, his house was in the opposite direction from this almost magical view... That meant his morning wasn't going to go so well.

The first thing that should have alerted him to the 'situation' was the fact that he could see holes in the walls of their house from more than 20 paces away.

A trail of passed out Blue Bamfs, surrounded by candy wrappers, led him to the epicentre of the chaos. His Red ones, who had been travelling with him, tried to shake some of them awake but to no avail : All they managed to get out of them were a few mutterings that could be translated as "No more taxi rides out of the party".

That made him frown.

'So much for a relaxing walk on the beach.'

As he crossed the unusual trail to the entrance of his house, a dozen or so footprints of varying sizes in the sand gave him a hint of what had happened, but what they could not do was prepare him for what lay behind the door...

His eyes found it hard to focus on just one thing.

The Red Bamfs who accompanied him inside found themselves in a similar situation : Those who weren't all wide-eyed and aghast at the sight before them scattered to assess the damage. A few Red Bamfs mechanically unplugged the speakers, their eyes never leaving the scene that welcomed them home.

Finally, Azazel's eyes focused on something or rather someone. Hanging upside down from the stairs by his tail like a damson plum, just as passed out as his little counterparts outside.

Azazel was impressed. In the worst possible way.

He kicked the soft mattress off the divan and landed it right under his son. This startled his Bamfs and brought them back to the present. He gestured for them to hold the half-discarded hammock on the floor a few feet above the mattress, which they managed by holding onto to some furniture.

Not because I was important to the universe- no.

But becuase I would do something stupid like make deals with demons just for a chance of running into Mephisto or Azazel.

Like.. ‘ya, I promised you my first born... but... I’m kinda ya know * lets my far too expensive fur coat slide down my otherwise bare shoulders- ignoring the fact that we are in hell and thus it is far from an appropriate outfit* single... maybe you could... help me? Ya know- help me help you? Wink wink’

And they’d be like ‘you... you made a ‘deal’ for the ability to talk to dogs and have free McDonald’s. I mean... do you think it’s really wise to fuck the devil for-“

Me: “yes.’

“But-“

“YES.”

And that’s the stupid decision making processes that would lead to my untimely death.

Or ya know- end up having a bunch of demon babies.

So ... meh.

"Well, 2 years ago, he made a religion for which he became the main leader and an inquisition for it overnight... 3 years ago, he was behind the law about baby making for everyone on the island after getting a "you're a priest" taunt... Now, he's committing fully to the whole identity theft after running off from his murder allegations and is starting to hear the voice of... Whatever high entity he worships I guess...

If we bring him back to the Embassy, he's just gonna start a cult there."

So they all nod to each other and teleport away.