#ayaad

A little destresser doodle of a lady from a modern day witchcraft story that i think you guys would enjoy if this was at all an oc blog anymore hahaaa

So... I'm finally at University! I got here on Thursday so it's my third day here today. At first it was really quiet because nobody was here but two girls have since moved in and they're really lovely :)

Yesterday when I went to get my shopping I spotted a girl with dark blonde dreadlocks in, her top lip pierced, and a grey cardigan on with a green skirt. In short, exactly how I would choose to look if money/ society was no object. 

So I carried on with my shopping and just as I walked to the section selling frozen Quorn, there she was, also buying Quorn (YAY FOR VEGGIES! :D )... so I picked out my stuff while mentally saying 'OMG ILOVEYOU' haha :')

And then as look would have it when I went to the other Quorn section like half way round the shop, there she was AGAIN. Seriously I had a moment of 'Dear Universe, is there something you're trying to tell me?!' :') ...

But yeah, that's what's been going on in my life so far.

I'm not too sure how my flatmates are going to react when they find out I'm Pagan. I miss having a permanent altar to practice at. My altar is currently just a wicker box that keeps everything in and the top can be used as my altar surface.

...I guess I'll just have to time it right and wait and see :)

Blessings :)  

I'd literally just put my pentacle back on after getting out the shower and this old man and woman knocked asking me if I wanted some Catholic necklaces. I refused and that's when I got the suspicious stream of questions... *facepalm*

Aaaand after 'Are you Catholic?' ... 'No.' 'When did you last go to Church?' ... 'Never.' 'I'm not Christian.'

The bloke FINALLY noticed my pentacle, and that's when the fun started... 'What's that, are you Jewish?' ... 'No, Wiccan.'

*Confused face from woman* Me: *waiting for impending Bible-rape* '...Pagan.'

Woman: '...You're Pagan?' (She took it quite well I thought, thankfully I didn't get 'THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!!!')

Then, I get loads of questions like 'Are your friends Pagan?' ...'No.' Then 'Are your parents Pagan?' ...'No.'

Like, could they not accept the fact that I'd actually found this religion all on my own and was happy with it?!

Then when I replied that No, I'm not baptised, they asked my name. When I replied  'Rachel' I got the inevitable 'That's a name from the Bible, maybe it's a sign.'

LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?! If I was fucking called 'Catherine' or 'Emily' or 'Patricia' (?) or 'Ellie', I WOULD STILL BE PAGAN, MY NAME HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT URGH!

I tried to explain that maybe all paths lead to the same place, or... maybe all Gods are different forms of the same one, but I still got the 'I'm very disappointed in you' look from them. Thankfully then my mum turned up and rescued me with 'Hey are you ready to go out?' so I could get away... not before the woman gave me some laminated card with a picture of the Virgin (haha yeah right) Mary on it and some pendant thingy and said something to me like 'May Mary bless you'...

Afterwards I got kinda annoyed that I hadn't said what I'd wanted to. What I should have said was:

'Why would I want to follow a religion that killed thousands of innocent people, and still does, in the name of their so-called 'God'? And that refuses two people from marrying just because they're the same gender? Or that takes Women's rights away from them by refusing them the choice to have an abortion? Thank you and goodbye.' 

Honestly they should spend their time improving the followers they already have, INSTEAD of trying to convert more people when they're perfectly happy doing what they're doing. I'm sure if they wanted to they could find God without some old people knocking on their doors.

I'm having a really tough time finding my patron God and Goddess.

For around three years, my Patron Gods were Isis and Osiris, and that was brilliant-- I had (and in some ways still have) a really strong connection to them, especially Isis.

But I became a really lazy Pagan... didn't have the time for ritual, didn't do any devotions, give offerings, nothing. And I had a moment of realisation where I suddenly realised how much I was taking them for granted. I always asked for things but gave nothing in return. And I realised that these were Gods I was dealing with here... Gods of creation, of everything there is, and here's me, completely disrespecting them. So I apologised the best I could and began a year and a day, hopefully in which I could re-find my patron Gods and prove myself to them.

Now... when I did my re-dedication ritual, I saw an image of an owl, turned 90 degrees to the left. I've researched owls, and Arianrhod and Athena are associated with them, but I've never felt a connection with either of them.

And just now I did a meditation and asked if they would show me a sign to let me know who my Matron Goddess is, and all I got was really random, blurred images, and occasional images of a fluffy dandelion or a butterfly, which I've looked up and mean nothing.