I remember the comic, "Say thank you instead of sorry." This makes it a lot better because people will think you're not trying to get pity and that you appreciate them. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry I'm such a downer." Say, "Thank you for being with me in this really hard time of my life." Instead of saying, "I'm sorry I'm always stalled." Try saying, "Thank you for being so patient with me." Instead of, "I'm sorry I can't get everything together." Say, "Thank you for your support."
This tool not only keeps you from the "fishing for pity" but it uplifts the people near you and helps them feel valued. So next time you want to say, "I'm sorry I'm tired all the time." or "I'm sorry I'm always so exhausted and I don't do anything." Say, "Thank you for helping me when I'm so tired. I really appreciate it." It helps with relationships, not being so hard on yourself, and keeps you from having people feel negatively about, and makes them feel appreciated.
And if you're ruminating you better stop that. Instead of thinking how bad you are, just listen to the Strange Magic soundtrack. Or any soundtrack. Or watch a tv show. Just stop ruminating. And remember, if you feel you haven't contributed anything or that you're just being a lump that's feeding off of people, when you say thank you- You're contributing positive feelings, compliments, and appreciation. And that's contributing a lot imo.
I get that. I don’t think I’ve been fishing for pity - I’ve been trying to actively avoid that - but as for the sorry thing, I just naturally apologize a lot? Like, that’s something I do. I can try this, but since apologizing is like breathing to me, it may take a while to truly take hold...
Thanks for the last bit. And you’re right, it is contributing, just...not in the way I so desperately want to. I miss writing and art so damn much it’s like a knife in my chest. That’s what I truly want, what I truly miss.
