#avpd!leo

Annabeth and Piper feel connected to their sense of self, or at least their perceptions of who they are, even if that's not necessarily how they come across to others.

Clarisse struggles with it on occasion, especially as she works to be better and do better, but for the most part it's not the biggest concern for her.

Percy and Leo have way more issues with their identities. While Leo is a lot more confident in his answer to "who am I?", his response also contains an excess of negativity. Around people versus in isolation, it shifts constantly. He either views himself in terms of usefulness to others, as is what he can or cannot provide, or conceptually, like the blueprints of a machine. He struggles to see himself as a whole person on his own, rather than parts or components of a person.

Annabeth would probably go to therapy for something unrelated (depression/PTSD/whatever) but refuse to accept NPD or acknowledge that her behaviours associated with it are a problem and likely end up ditching her therapist as a result

Piper would not go to therapy or accept HPD as a suggestion from anyone because she does not see any of her behaviours as a problem and as long as she receives attention, she's fine, always forgetting quickly about all the times she's crashed or freaked out because she wasn't receiving attention

Clarisse would go to therapy specifically for her ASPD symptoms, is the only one officially diagnosed, and would actively work on it with the help of her therapist and loved ones

Percy would not go to therapy but would accept BPD as a suggestion from other people and try to work on it on his own/with help from people closest to him

So thinking about Leo and AVPD. I think he might go to therapy if forced by another person or if his problems surmounted too much for him to handle, even when isolating from other people. If AVPD was ever suggested to him as a possiblity, even outside of therapy, or just brought up, unrelated to him, by someone else, I think he'd immediately be like "I don't have that" because he perceives himself to be fun and outgoing, so he can't be avoidant of social contact. He loves social contact! But I think he's fairly introspective and so he'd notice patterns in his behaviors that align with the diagnostic criteria. Eventually he would recognize that he masks heavily to be perceived by others in direct opposition of how he feels internally.

So denial first then later acceptance. He might go to therapy sporadically for it, but ultimately tries to fix it by himself, growing frustrated because he's not a robot and he cannot rewire his own brain over night. He becomes hyperaware of his own self-destructive behaviours and grows even more agitated when watching himself engage in them. Which only feeds into his inferiority complex and self-loathing, which he knows and recognizes but is unable to really stop as it happens because, unlike Clarisse or Percy, he lacks the external support to handle it.

He can't drop the mask, no one will like him if he does (not that people like him very much with the mask), and he knows this line of thinking is part of the whole problem, but he can't do it, so he refuses to ask for help or tell anyone about it, so he never gets the external support he needs. Over time he has varying levels of success in stifling certain behaviours before they become harmful to him and others, but it doesn't always work.

When they're alone it's probably easier. But also Jason doesn't really ask much about him or his background. Partly because I think, for Jason, your past is not a big deal. What matters is your current actions and your current beliefs. Sure, your past guides your current behaviours, but I don't think Jason holds much value in that. Like for him it's pretty much "what does your past abuse have to do with being an asshole right now?" (That lovely lack of cognitive empathy I mentioned once 😂) He's compassionate to people's suffering but does not allow it to be the reason someone behaves poorly.

So Jason remains somewhat ignorant of Leo's background because he prioritizes the present. Leo's past doesn't really matter. What matters is Leo now. If Leo wants to talk about his past or make casual anectdotes to his past, then cool! Jason will engage. But otherwise it's not really on his mind.

And it's a little bit relieving to Leo because he can relax and not have to put on the class clown persona that hides all that he truly is. But also it's disappointing because why doesn't Jason ask? Is he not interested in Leo? Does he not like him? Is he only hanging around out of pity? Just a vicious downward cycle of questioning that makes him even more angsty and self-loathing.

meanwhile piper's hpd eats up his attention and she gets so so stressed out whenever he gets "busy" and stops talking to her because she cannot see the real reason behind him suddenly being busy is her inability to fully acknowledge him as a person instead of an audience and all she notices is the lack of attention and it hurts so much