My latest hack for metamour stress is to ask my partner what they want. Okay sure, metamour wants that night. What do you want? Take a proactive role in your own schedule and requests. Make schedule negotiation about supporting your own wants and freedoms. Give yourself the honour of caring about your own wants and needs.
Secondhand requests from my metamour who I distrust to handle their own shit? Idc and the flags look bad. But supporting my partners wants despite whatever is happening on the other side of the V? Easy. I love and trust this person. I am committed to sharing them and supporting their freedom, even when it means letting ppl get hurt. When polyam dynamics are getting stressful and it's they said/he wants/she needs, ask your partner what they want.
Everyone's going to feel disappointed at some point. If we just try to keep everyone happy, we will remain stressed. If we actively advocate for what we want, and remind our partners to do the same, we'll figure it out together.
