#avoidance coping

Stress is an inevitable part of life, and how we cope with it can significantly impact our mental and physical well-being. Avoidance coping is a common but often counterproductive strategy that many people employ when faced with stressors. In this article, we will explore what avoidance coping is, why we tend to use it, and how we can develop better coping skills to handle stressors…

How to take an ‘L’ as a young adult

Hey Guys? What’s new? How’s your week been?

Yes, I know I’ve been MIA – let’s just skim over that and get right into it.

So, I’m sure you wondering what exactly an ‘L’ is. For those of you not down with the lingo, an ‘L’ stands for a loss. And as young people the losses we experience as we ‘adult’ tend to take a bigger toll on us and perhaps longer to recover from. So, I wanted to talk about the…

the only lesson learned is avoidance of pain

I was telling @mtklr the other day I’ll probably find some archived all-day celebration to watch tomorrow in lieu of the end of the Republic. Live Aid maybe; first one stadium, then the other. 

But tonight I was thinking maybe I’ll get that radio software going and stream goofy music again all day, stuff that makes me laugh, 5-star iTunes songs, all my ‘checked’ songs in Spotify, plenty of Game Theory Friday, some of this retro-80s silliness I’ve been hearing lately...

For as long as I can remember, I have coped with uncomfortable, frightening, and dangerous situations with avoidance.  It worked at the time, but now that I'm older, avoidance coping is seriously taking over my life. 

I worry that xy or z will happen at a social gathering, so I don't go to social gatherings. 

I fear that no one in my hometown will actually like me/want to talk to me, so I don't interact anyone my own age, unless it's a select few who go to church with me. 

I see a movie is in the theater that I want to see, but I avoid going to the theater because I'm afraid I'll be bored or dissatisfied. 

I had one uncomfortable experience with a dude at the swimming pool at the YMCA and I started struggling to get out of the house to even go to the YMCA, resulting in Grandpa getting ill with me for not going as much as I used to (and wasting his money). 

Job hunting stresses me out and sometimes I completely shut down and I cannot make myself finish an application or email a principal at a school because the anxious feelings are too strong and I avoid them by putting it off. 

I put everything off that I can because I'm afraid that it will all be unpleasant in some manner. 

I put off dealing with psychological trauma from living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother because avoidance was the only coping strategy I had. 

Now, I put off getting refills for my prescriptions because I'm afraid my insurance won't cover it anymore or because I'm afraid my doctor will randomly choose to not refill my prescriptions or that the nurse will snap at me again for calling about needing a new prescription for medication I'm already on. 

I even put off calling the doctor to make an appointment and making appointments for counseling/therapy even when I REALLY REALLY NEED IT. 

My avoidance coping has GOT to GO. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are interested in avoidance coping/more of what it is  or need tips to help yourself overcome avoidance coping, here are some helpful links: 

Why Avoidance Coping is an important factor in anxiety

What it is

Maladaptive Coping Strategies