#avengersca

Steve steps back into the car and closes the door, lips still tingling.

“You don’t like blondes,” Bucky says.

Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy.

Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity.

Bucky finds out about the whole ‘language’ thing and after expressing his confusion to Steve, he goes about proving to himself that Steve’s use of bad language is just as awful as anyone else’s. If not worse.

“Well,” Tony says, standing and clapping his hands together, “for the sake of scientific validity, there’s only one way to test this.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “We need to hold the first annual Ass Championships.”

“You know what, Rogers? Fuck that guy,” Tony says. “I’m going to find you the perfect man.”