#autstim

Carry Earplugs Everywhere. I bought a 50-pack 10 years ago and I’m still using them today. I keep a pair in every bag/jacket I own. You will not believe the difference it makes being able to turn down the volume at will.

Anticipate Your Needs (that’s half the work right there) and then Take Them Seriously. Try to stim/remove yourself from a situation (even if just temporarily, using a bathroom break as an excuse) before it gets bad. BEFORE IT GETS BAD. It is much harder to recover from an episode than to detect and de-escalate before it peaks.  

Inform your teachers/employers in advance, if you can*. If you’re not comfortable letting them know your on the spectrum, try saying ‘Sensory Processing Disorder,’ which both autistic and allistic (non-autstic) people can experience. Because I had spoken with my instructor about my needs, she was gracious about letting me excuse myself when needed without seeking explicit permission. She didn’t even require explanations after the fact, but was ready to accept them supportively if I offered them. That’s an ideal arrangement and one that you invest in by communicating in advance. 

Have a (generic) Escape Plan. Just a simple one that you can act on when you’re too stressed to come up with something. If you’re not in a setting where you’re comfortable revealing your sensory issues, a bathroom/coffee break is always a good go-to excuse. 

Lie when it’s helpful. No seriously. Please don’t hesitate to Substitute Excuses if it makes your life easier (e.g. excuse yourself to take a phone call when you need a moment of quiet, use a migraine or stomach ache to explain sensitivity). 

You deserve to have your needs understood and met, but there are dozens of reasons we might prefer not to disclose our status on the spectrum.  

The same way it’s more socially comfortable to for someone to say they have a ‘stomach ache’ instead of PMS, or ‘upset stomach’ instead of IBS, there are plenty of times it’s more comfortable to have non-autism-specific words for autism symptoms. You don’t owe anyone private medical information. And even if we’re comfortable being open about it, sensory emergencies are not the time to invite questions. If I need to leave a room fast, I don’t want to spend 5 minutes explaining and educating. 

The Cover Story. Eventually people will notice if I’m excusing myself every time they see me for 20 minutes in the bathroom, etc. People get worried/curious, that’s a privacy/comfort issues. So I have a cover story.

 Everyone in my family has problems with migraines, except me. (I’m also the only one on the spectrum). So when first learning how to comfortably discuss my sensory needs in social settings, I tried telling acquaintances/casual friends I had issues with migraines. That was a term that A) people were more familiar with than ‘shutdowns’ or ‘meltdowns,’ but which B) had important elements in common with my actual disorder (pain, sensitivity) that I was actually comfortable sharing, and C) shared and explained similar needs (need for space away from noise/bright lights, changing plans last minute, etc). 

Where I might tell a close, trusted friend, “I’m having sensory/verbal issues” or, “I’m vulnerable to a meltdown right now,” or even just “today is an autism day, go away,” in wider circles I’ll simply substitute with “I’m having migraine pain.”  

Have a go-to stimming ritual that you’ve repeated enough to be able to engage in quickly without needing to concentrate. Quick-and-dirty one I use is velvet–the texture is soothing. I wear a lot of velvet accessories. The ones I use the most are a hat, and a ribbon that I sometimes just keep in my bag. Other stuff to keep in a sensory grab bag: thick hand lotion for your finger tips (extra points for a nice smell), jewelry for fiddling/grounding (I like big rings). bubble gum for chewing/grounding. your favorite stim gifs saved to your phone (i have a thing about watching soap/sand being cut.) favorite asmr vids (my go-to is this one by the actual Thor). also, slime. a jar of foam slime is amazing.  

Wireless earbuds**. They’re getting so affordable! I used to listen to asmr/music in class by hiding the cords in my hair/under a hood/scarf. Sometimes just in one ear so I could hear the lesson but also stim. Also wore earplugs–again, could still hear the lesson, but quieter. I bought these buds, not because they’re the best for the money, but because I like the red color. Plenty of others online.

I’m lucky enough to feel safe and able to disclose my autism more openly now. Sometimes I’ll mention it to waitstaff when requesting that music be lowered in restaurants (I had no idea, but they are shockingly friendly about this request! one bartender and even fell into conversation about mental health after they realized the music was what was triggering their anxiety. please try making this request sometime. If you’re polite, there’s nothing rude about it.)

*That is, after you’re already enrolled/employed. I don’t know much about best practices when applying to places. I personally choose not to disclosure medical/disability status until after the contracts are signed.