#autisticwatch

The corridor was quiet. She usually appreciated silence whenever it came but at that moment it felt lonely. It felt like too much. Everything about the corridor was somehow too much. The walls where white, the floor was marbled and the lights were reflecting off of it. Her visor would usually block this out so that she could get from place to place without issues. She had left her visor in her room for the first time in a while. It was something essential to her, something she never usually left her room without. But this was not a usual day. One of her teammates was in the medical bay right behind her and she could do nothing. She simply knelt on the floor, pursing her lips and trying not to wonder when the floors were last cleaned. She could feel the presence of someone else standing a few feet away, but still outside the medical bay like her.

Looking over she saw Morrison. He must have sensed that he was being watched because he quickly rubbed his eyes and looked over at her. She was expecting a glare, some sarcastic comment or insult. For the first time he seemed to have nothing to say. He simply gave her a small nod, swallowed and begun pacing. She looked down at the floor again and screwed her eyes shut until she saw shapes.

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Another 20 minutes of silence had passed before the medical bay door whooshed open and Angela was pushed out with a cry, the door slamming shut behind her. Angela stood up quickly and looked at the door with a facial expression that Satya couldn't quite place then sighed and slumped onto the floor. Jack and Satya looked at her, then at each other. Angela sighed. "Stop staring at me. I am fine. All I wanted was to help Fareeha, and now.. All I can do is wait. This is so frustrating." "Wonder what that's like." Jack muttered, his voice breaking. Satya looked up in surprise. Angela simply rolled her eyes "Did you forget about the promise you made? No more smartass comments." "I said if she gets better. She's not better yet." "She's stabilising." "What are you gonna do if she gets worse again?" The question seemed to catch the doctor off guard. Satya brought her knees up to her chest. "What is that supposed to mean, Jack?" "What you did to Genji was-" "Was what you ordered me to do, Jack." 

Venom dripped from the woman's voice. Satya began humming, wishing desperately she had brought her visor. Now along with the overwhelming brightness of the corridor, there was tension and noise. A lot of noise. She peeked up to see the older man with his chest puffed out indignantly and the doctor with tears in her eyes. Disgust was evident on her face, even Satya could see that. 

"You're a liar. You aren't going to change at all whether Fareeha gets better or not."

"Ziegler-"

"Look at you. This defensive over something that we both agreed long ago was a mistake."

"We did what we had to!"

"You did what you had to! You would have had us all mutilated if it meant you got to keep being the Golden Boy of Overwatch!"

"Mutilated by who, Ziegler?!"

"Don't you try and put this on me, I was following my orders! Something you should have tried!"

Satya was now digging her nails into her knees and twitching. The urge to begin screaming and hitting herself was becoming more and more intense. Everything was quiet now. She kept herself tense but dared to look up once again. Jack and Angela were standing chest to chest, both clearly trying to make themself look big. Jack shook his head slowly, scoffed and walked away. Satya saw the tears cascading down his cheeks and assumed he was going to go and cry in his room again. She opened her mouth to ask if Angela might sit with her for a while when Angela made a frustrated growling noise and stomped off in the same direction as Jack, muttering something about babysitting and Ana. Satya was alone once again. She didn't like it one bit.

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All she could see was white. Blinding white light. Her head begun pounding, her hands moved of their own accord. Before she knew it she was crying, screaming, hitting herself full force in the chest using both arms. It hurt but the pain made everything seem less intense so she kept doing it. Her arms then reached up and she began digging her nails into her face, screaming into her hands. She felt someone touch her elbow and screamed even louder. The hand moved away and she heard a familiar voice "Okay, okay. I'm not touching you. Satya. I need you to look at me."

The words didn't even register to her, she simply continued screaming. She felt the presence of someone beside her. They were sitting close but making sure they were also far away enough that they weren't touching. The screaming stopped and she slowly moved her hands away from her face, whimpering and choking back sobs. Looking to the left, she saw the concerned face of Lucio. Her hands returned to covering her face out of embarrassment. She and Lucio didn't exactly get along and she would prefer not to have the whole base know that she was capable of reacting to something in this way. "It's alright, Satya." Lucio told her, his voice soft. "I'm not gonna tell anyone about this if you don't want me to. Once you're calmed down you can go back to callin' me a street rat or whatever. All I know is, I'm not leaving you like this."

She wiped her eyes furiously, still trying her hardest to stop crying. "I suppose it is.. somewhat nice, to have company." her voice was thick and shaky and she silently cursed herself for getting into such a humiliating situation. If she had just brought her visor, none of this would have happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by Lucio's voice again. "May I touch you?” he asked. She looked at him, disgusted, wondering how he could think of such filth in this scenario-

"I mean your hand. I.. Have these meltdowns too, sometimes. I know they're different for us all, but sometimes it calms me down to have Zen or Genji touch their palms to mine. It's okay to say no, 100%."

She looked at him for a minute then nodded slowly "We can try it. I doubt it will be helpful, however." Lucio simply smiled and held his hand up, fanning his fingers out. She copied him and almost nervously pressed their palms together. She felt some discomfort, as usually touching people platonically was something she reserved for close friends, but something about the warmth of his skin and the attention he was giving her regardless of their relationship felt good. She cleared her throat in an attempt to ensure that her voice would be sturdy and then spoke. "I believe I know what Zenyatta and Genji see in you now. You may be a common thief but.. Apparently you are good at stealing hearts."

She gave a tepid laugh, flinching when the man clapped his hands together and threw his head back, laughing heartily. "You ain't so bad yourself, Vishkar." he beamed at her. She gave him a warm, genuine smile back. Her face fell when he stood up. "You are leaving?" She asked, trying to appear unconcerned. 

"Only for a second. I got an idea."