#austin thomas

Short Eared Owl - hunting

(gifs not mine or any of the pictures i use!) 

This is a short AU about Oliver in a dark place and only a few breaths away from finally meeting his son. Short backstory: Oliver is the GA and everything happened with the Island, except Felicity and him met in college and ended up marrying after college and the becoming pregnant with a little boy , Austin. who was born early and struggled daily with breathing issues and more. Oliver left with his dad as a way to escape after Austin passed. Only to be shipwrecked and you know the rest. He comes back and tries to fix things with Felicity, its going well but hes still not copping well with the whole thing and yeah…..welcome to my head and the things i think up at work while i stock glue and fabric. Also! listen to Hold On by Chord Overstreet it was my muse. TOMMY IS ALIVE. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Infant Death. Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Self-Harm. Panic Attacks.

Summary: Oliver never thought he could of been a dad. Until he was given the chance and it was ripped from him. It was all he ever wanted. He needed itAustin was going to be his light.

….Austin…My beautiful boy…

He could hear Dig screaming through the door of the bunkers bathroom, the rhythmic sound of his hand pounding on the metal syncing with Oliver’s slowing heart. He needed this. He needed him. Just a little bit longer and he would be with his son. 

….My son….

“Oliver…man…come on open the door. I can smell it, please just open the door. Think about Felicity. Think what this would do to her. What it would do to me. Please man.” Dig relented, sliding down the other side of the door, their backs now separated by a single thick metal door. 

“Hold on man…Felicity is almost here. Just hold on.” Dig said, staring at the room before him, the dim green lights setting an eerie calm. “Just please.”

“I can’t” Oliver whimpered, tears threatening to fall as he took a swig of his Russian vodka. The harsh burn curbing his taste for the glinting metal sat on his knee. 

“I know it hurts…I know.” Dig said at a loss for words. His best friend…his brother was sat against a door, talking as if he was done. The once strong, stone of a man now brought to his knees with grief. His hard exterior chipped and torn away by his past and present. 

Dig heard the door at the top of stairs slam open, and the distinct sound of their small families tech genius come barreling into the sparing room, her clothes mused and her hair a mess. 

“Oliver?!” She yelled, coming to a halt in front of dig, a sob breaking its way through her throat. A hand coming to her mouth as she clutched at her stomach with the other. “Oliver?” She whimpered.

Dig stood, his eyes not meeting Felicity’s. As he passed her he placed his hand on her shoulder slowly making his way to the center platform before he sat in her chair, spinning to keep an eye on her.

Felicity stepped up to the door, her breath coming in short breaths, a panic attack flaring its way through her body, the familiar lava burn in her lungs. “Oliver” She whispered as she slid down the door. 

“Oliver? Listen to my voice. I love you. I need you to open the door.” Felicity let out, her breath burning its way out. “Baby..please…What happened?”

Dig stood, his body starting to shake, he can’t imagine this. The joy they had been awarded this past week. Oliver’s smile. His proud face when he watched Felicity take on Palmer Tech as CEO. The wedding. He has to make this right. Stepping into the elevator he made is way up into the mayors building, and into Thea’s office, grabbing every picture frame and photo album he could find in her cluster fuck of a desk and book shelf, he made his way back down.

Taking a deep breath Felicity waited. She could hear him breathing on the other side, soft sniffs every few seconds giving her the reassurance that he was still living. “…Oliver” She whimpered loudly. “OLIVER!” She shouted, anger making its way into her panic. 

“I need him.” Oliver stated, his voice hoarse. Felicity frowned looking for Dig. “Why’d he leave?”

“He went upstai-”

“Not Dig……..Austin.” He whispered, his voice tapering off at the end as if the name caused him more pain than the blade still sat on his jean clad leg. “I needed him.”

Felicity let out a soft sob. It had been nearly 10 years since she had heard Oliver say that name. It had been 10 years since this wound had been berried below M.I.T and an Island. “Austin?” Felicity stated, her hands starting to shake. “Baby, Austin fought so hard. You know that.” 

“I still needed him. Why’d he leave.” He repeated, his head slamming back into the door, shaking it against felicity’s hands. “I NEED HIM” He screamed, throwing the bottle against the shower across from him. The glass shattering in a ear splitting second. The shards bouncing off the walls and dusting Oliver in cold liquid and shards. “I wanted him so bad Felicity.” He whimpered.

“OLIVER!…baby please please please open the door. PLEASE” she screamed feverishly typing in the four digit lock code. the pad flashing red. Pulling her phone from her pocket preparing to bring hell down onto this blasted door she heard Oliver shift away. Pausing she listened, a soft click and the sound of boots and glass flowed from beneath the door.

Hesitantly she reached for the door, the handle smoothly turning as she stepped into the door, her shoulder brushing the cool metal. Closing her eyes briefly, she made her way into the small bathroom. Glass and small puddles of vodka and crimson crunched beneath her tennis shoes. Looking up she could see Oliver had sat on the toilet. “Baby.” She whispered falling to her knees in front of him.

“I need him.” He whimpered again. flinging himself into Felicity both of them falling slightly and coming to sit on the floor again. Their pants soaking through with the strong sent of vodka and blood. “Austin…my beautiful boy.” 

Gasping slightly Felicity clutched at Oliver, his wounds forgotten and the only thing that mattered was Oliver’s psychological wounds.

“I know…I need him to. I miss him everyday. Every. Single. Day.” Felicity said into his neck, her hands coming up to his face as she pulled away. The sounds of boots on glass caused Felicity to turn, Dig stood on the doorway. a stack of books and frames in his arms. Oliver’s eyes remained on the ceiling ignoring him.

Without saying a word Dig sat the stack on the toilet, away from the wet disaster of a floor. Walking out silently he handed Felicity a small towel. “Find him” He whispered as he shut the door behind him.

Felicity stared at the door before slowly turning to the small stack. Oliver refused to go into Thea’s office once she took over as campaign manager.  Everyone knew what the frames could of contained. He avoided them like the plague. Leaning to her right she gripped the first frame.

Smiling slightly she turned to Oliver, he was now staring at her his eyes searching her face. Showing him the picture with a soft smile Oliver looked down and sniffed. “Do you remember that day? You two were so hyper. It was right before our wedding.” Oliver nodded, his eyes finding hers again, they were blood shot and slightly glaze. Turning to grab another she let a chocked sob fall from her lips.

“Tommy.” Oliver whispered. “Uncle Tommy.” He said leaning his head back. Felicity scooted closer to Oliver. His arm coming around her to pull her close. “He loved him…Laurel did to. We all did.” He said letting his hand come to clutch softly at the frame. 

Letting Oliver have the frame she reached for the photo album. Flipping through the pictures they smiled softly at the family pictures and funny moments they forgot even happened but were captured in a small piece of paper.

“I love you.” Oliver whispered laying his forehead against the back of her head. With a whimper he reached for the small green album he knew all to well. Withing the book contained to pictures of his son. The physical proof. slowly Oliver opened the book, his fingers shaking as he opened it to the first page. 

Before he could look Felicity whispered back to him. “We love you too.” She said on Austin’s behalf.

His birth certificate stared back at them. His name in Oliver’s hand writing.His small foot print cut out and slid in along with his hospital band. 

Austin Thomas Queen. 

“Tommy still talks about his name.” Felicity smiled.

“He deserved a good strong name.” Felicity nodded at Oliver’s response a smile coming to her face. 

Flipping again Felicity whimpered slightly. 

getting some extra help. (uncle roy loves taking pictures of you)

Oliver smiled at the picture, “Roy still has the picture of Austin in the crib as his screen saver on everything.” He whispered. {image of him in crib}

Felicity shut the book slightly earning a small whine from Oliver. “Are you sure you want to continue?” She asked putting a hand on his knee that was next to her hip. “The next picture is one of my favorites.” She said turning back to him, a small smile on her face. “Its from when we was finally out of that terrible box.

Oliver nodded and opened the book again. Turning the page his breath caught. He felt all the air in his lungs leave and tears start to freely fall. It was the first night they brought Austin home. Oliver had refused to put him in his crib and sat in the rocker most of the night. Thea had found them the next morning still in the blasted chair, Felicity fast asleep on the bed in the room.

“That’s when he still looked like an alien.” a deep voice sounded from the door, looking up Oliver sighed. “Hey bud.” Tommy said coming to sit next to Oliver, their shoulders brushing. “Dig called me, We looking at pictures of Attie?” Thomas said using his namesakes nickname. Leaning forward he pulled a frame off the toilet and let out a happy sigh. “My man.”

“I hated that outfit.” Felicity muttered laughing lowly. Oliver nodded and Tommy chuckled. “Remind why we let Sara pick out the outfit for that dinner”

“Because she said and i quote; ‘Dino for our little monster.’ she was very convincing back then.” Tommy said smiling and going for the green album in their hands flicking through pictures of Attie in the hospital.

“Hey that’s your mom!” Tommy said with a sad smile. Turning to look at Oliver, who only gave him a slight nod as he watched and looked at the pictures as Tommy passed them, giving commentary as they went through them. 

Felicity reached for Oliver’s hand and slowly started using the small towel from dig to dab at his now bruised and cracked knuckles. She listened as her husband and brother for all intents and purposes spoke of her son. Their stories bringing small mournful smiles onto her face. 

Sometimes she wonders what Austin would be like. Would he be bright and joyful? A crazy, happy boy like Oliver was? What would his favorite color be? Probably green.

“Felicity?” Oliver said as he nudged her. Nodding his head to the book. 

Turning to the book she let a sob bubble up. It was the last picture. The last one she or anyone ever took of him again. It was the week before his unforeseen death. Oliver had been away at hockey game with Tommy and when he returned Austin wouldn’t let him leave his side. They slept with him that night in their bed. His small body radiating happiness and love. It was one of the best nights of her life. Both her favorite boys in the bed, their breaths synced with each other as the dozed in the Sunday morning light. It was her favorite picture. She hadst flipped to the last page of this album in nearly 10 years. 

…….Their Beautiful Boy……..

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