#aussie speak

Lily really had been having a bad day. A really bad day, as her co-worker Cindy had called out randomly sick for the third time in a week, and was just looking forward to having a quiet lunch in peace. She went in search of her best mate Rose, who had promised to meet her around two with some Maccas that they had both been craving. Rose had to drive more than hour out of the way for it, but even if it was cold, it was still worth it. She knew it was just what her best mate needed.

Walking around in the dirt and mud, Lily found Rose sitting at a picnic table with Joe and Rami, who apparently had a break of some sort at that moment in time. They were tucking into whatever food had been served on set that day, and Joe looked almost jealous when he saw that Rose was holding a Maccas bag.

“Hey Lil, you’ll be right! She’s a bitch anyway, I’ve heard that they might fire her. At least I brought you some Maccas, even if it is cold now. It’s still worth it right?

“Yeah mate, totally worth it!”

“So, how are you really feeling? You look pretty tense. I’m sure you’ll be right, my best mate is a badass bitch!”

“Thanks Roe, but I’m just.. God mate, I’ve had such a shit arvo already. Just can’t believe that Cindy pulled a sickie for the third time this week! Ugh! What a cunt!! I’m so in need of a cold one after today ends. You in? I’ll shout!”

Before Rose could open her mouth to answer Joe piped up with, “Why is Cindy pulling sickies and who is parvo? And there is no need for shouting, inside voices work just fine.”

Both Lily and Rose exchanged a look before letting out loud guffaws of laughter. Rami joined in obviously finding this whole exchange quite funny.

Rose couldn’t resist the temptation to add,”I sure as fuck hope that Cindy is only pulling sickies if she’s dying of parvo. I thought that only dogs could get parvo!”

Joe just looked at Rose incredulously obviously jealous of her Maccas, as she popped a cold chip in her mouth.

Lily smiled, looking right at Joe, who was seated next to Rose on the table and said,”Sorry mate, I forgot that you aren’t Australian sometimes. What I said was that I’ve had a shit after afternoon. My co-worker Cindy called out sick for the third time this week. I want a cold beer later, and if you all are in then I’m buying.”

Having been quiet for the majority of this conversation Rami finally piped up with, “I could definitely go for a drink with my three best mates!”

Lily gave Rami a bright smile as she said,”Ooooh someone’s been learning to speak the native language!”

Joe just let out an annoyed huff. 

“Seriously, trying to learn to speak Australian is harder than the French I took in high school. You are all speaking English, but a weird version of it, and I just don’t understand!”

Rose just leaned her head on Joe’s shoulder before reaching up with the hand that wasn’t holding her cold burger and patted him on the head,”You’ll learn soon enough mate.”

Lily just chuckled and said,”Yeah Joe, you’ll be right mate.”

To which he just huffed again and Rami spoke up with,”Oh come on Joe, that one can’t be that hard. I’m pretty sure all she said was you’re going to be okay.”

Everyone burst into laughter again, Joe included this time, as he just shrugged and muttered, “I’ll figure this out eventually.” Then he stole a handful of Rose’s cold chips.

“Hey! Quit stealing my chips!” Rose exclaimed.

Joe just rolled his eyes and said,”You mean fries?”

“No, you heard me, I mean chips.”

Joe just huffed, and reached over to steal another handful but Rose was prepared this time and swatted his hand away playfully.

Suddenly Rose giggled as she grabbed a chip from her bag and placed one on Joe’s shoulder.

“Joe, you’ve really got a chip on your shoulder about this Australian slang thing don’t you?” 

“No!! No!! It’s a fry. I’ve got a fry on my shoulder, your pun doesn’t work when you don’t use the correct terminology.” Joe countered. “Though, if, and only if, it were called a ‘chip’ that would have been a good pun.”

Rose just giggled and leaned over, and ate the chip right off of Joe’s shoulder.

Everyone broke out in giggles this time.