#aurash

You will lie, Sathona, says the worm. If you want to be saved, if you want to live, you will lie.

But Sathona—

Who should be afraid—

Chapter 1: Needle|Worm

My entry for Solar Embrace vol. 6!! Thank you to everyone at @d2artevents for hosting this zine and letting me be a part of it again. It's always a point of summer I look forward to <3

You can read this story on Ao3, or in the zine pdf!

Afternoon mists hung low on the horizon. The sky was a reddish hue, contrasting nicely with the black sandy beach they had moored the ship at, and the ocean murmured calmly underneath. Aurash and Sathona sat on the stern, with their feet above the water. Aurash was trying to fish. It did not appear to be a particularly fruitful endeavour, considering she lacked a fishing rod and had to clutch the line in her hands, but she looked very determined. Sathona was watching her with one-and-a-half eye, devoting the rest to observing her other sister frolicking on the beach.

Xi Ro was playing ‘catch the wave’, a game whose entire point was not getting caught by the wave. She ran towards the ocean, chasing the ebb, and then jumped away before the returning tide could reach her. When she wasn’t fast enough and the foamy water sprinkled her feet, it left shallow little burn holes in her chitin. Sathona had the fleeting thought of telling her to try not to kill herself, but decided it would only have the opposite effect, if any. Xi Ro wasn’t even half as resistant to acid damage as she was to common sense. She would likely treat that as a challenge and hurl herself sword-first into the waves to cut down imagined foes. It was remarkable, truly, how the same krill could successfully resist the tickling glee of a stormjoy.

She could hardly blame her for her good humour, though. The afternoon was lovely, the first peaceful one after three days of storms. They had been stuck below deck for most of that time, going mad with fear and cabin fever, and it felt rejuvenating to finally step out into daylight and fresh air. Even if ‘fresh air’ in this case meant the stench of fish and wet sand licked by acid waves.

“I hope the mists clear soon. I’ll need the sky to set the course.” Aurash adjusted her grip on the fishing line. “But it’s nice here, don’t you think? We could stay for a day or two, if the waters are calm.”

Sathona said nothing. She only looked at the ocean, this tremendous, turbulent plane, and counted continents in her head. How long had they been at sea—weeks, months? Aurash alone could tell the passage of time by the stars. But they had sailed by many lands already, even if their movements on errant tides made it a fickle unit of measure: the Star-Surgery and its twirled spires, the Niobium Plateau enshrouded in machine-fog, the Oganesson Archipelago where a terrible storm had caught them and nearly tore their sail. Never in her two-year-and-however-many-months long lifespan had she dreamed she would see what lay beyond the horizon. And so much more yet! The furious beasts of sea and sky, the play of moonlight on the waves, the delirious laughter that comes after a near-death experience; Aurash’s stories and Xi Ro’s songs, acrid wind before a storm, breakfast on deck under a yellow morning sky.

These were the happiest times of her life.

But they had been voyaging for so long already. She could see the weariness in Aurash’s eyes. She could taste Xi Ro’s restless anticipation as she yearned for revenge, to return home and send the Helium usurpers and the Traitor Mother under the frothing ocean waves. This island appeared habitable, as much as anything on Fundament ever was; docking here for a few days and resupplying, drawing a better map, making some sort of plan—it seemed reasonable. The Kaharn Atoll was a long way off, but still within sailing distance. They could disappear in its crowds with ease, lay low for a while, and devise the vengeance they had sworn.

And yet…

And yet the worm urged her forward. Sathona had left it below deck, in the cabin they slept in, but she could still hear its whisper in her mind. You cannot stay here. You have to sail on, ever forward, ever deeper, lest you be chased and caught and destroyed. Down, o vengeance mine, down.

She couldn’t tell if Taox even bothered hunting them. Knowing her, she probably didn’t. She’d likely resolved they would die at sea sooner or later, and the problem would resolve itself. Foolish—and somewhat insulting—but that gave them an advantage. They could yet make it to Kaharn, sell the ship and hire mercenaries…

Or you could dive.

Sathona shivered. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt cold.

“You look worried, my sister.” Aurash nudged her with a shoulder. “Are you alright?”

How can I not be worried? Sathona thought. When Taox might still be out to get us, and we are so far away from home, and these past months have fallen away from us like shed chitin? We are nowhere near a solution, and we are only getting older, and I am afraid, afraid we will die out here.

“I am tired,” she said, and huddled closer. Aurash’s arm wound around her.

She lay her head on her sister’s shoulder and covered her other hand with hers. The sudden fear was paralysing her like medusa venom, but looking out to the shore—seeing Xi Ro swat at the waves with her sword, feeling Aurash’s muscles tense as she held the line firmly—a gust of calmness wafted over her.

She wasn’t safe. She was weary, and afraid, and she was possibly never coming home.

“The Deep”

Metamorphosis

II — Savathûn — Imago Unfurl — Verse 8:2 — The Witch:

"My brother's greatest acts of navigation were his metamorphoses. That was his tactic: he would change everything about himself so that he could survive this universe."

I am reminded of my sisters. Of moments spent by lapping shores, gazing up at infinite stars full of possibilities and wonder.