Hi! I don't identify as trans, I am in fact a cis female. However, I don't really care what pronouns people use for me? I was just wondering if I could say that or if that would be considered offensive. I know I get annoyed when someone talks about my identity in a way I find derogatory, even if they don't intend to. Thanks!
Personally, it does bother me when cisgender people do this. It can come off as dismissive towards those who do care about what pronouns people use for them (usually trans people) because it can make it seem like trans people are the only ones who care about how they are perceived- when that’s not true. If everyone started calling you “he” and “him” whenever they talked about you, you might not feel the same way as you do now.Â
But the thing is, people are probably still going to use she/her pronouns for you when you say you “don’t care”. I’ve seen numerous cisgender people announce that people can use “whatever” pronouns for them, but not once has anyone called them anything but their correct pronouns.Â
When a non-passing transgender person does that, it’s a completely different story. It’s a privilege that (most) cisgender people have, to be perceived as and treated as the gender that they are. I would say (and this is for everyone), tell people the pronouns that you would specifically prefer. If you wouldn’t be comfortable with everyone calling you “he”, then don’t say “any pronouns work”. Be as clear as possible.Â
To all cisgender people, I recommend saying the pronouns that “match” your gender (ex. if you are a girl, say “she/her pronouns”). Don’t complicate the situation by adding in other possible factors that you may not be comfortable with. I hope this helped. If you have any more questions, feel free to send us an ask!
-Kai
