#au18

let me lay beside you and write this poem in your presence;

to the sound of your soft breathing;

and your peaceful sleeping eyes;

the heat of every place we touch;

to wake up and see your smile;

it’s always colder when you drop me off in the morning

and i’m still wearing the shirt you fucked me in

you’ve gotta drive to work now babe

closing the door behind, my hair smells like you

and i run upstairs to watch you drive away

you’re playing such a name game

when my only aim is to love you like i know how

maybe it can be a little too much when i fuck up

then i promise you it’s all gonna be okay

my honey my dear

my angel above

you want to know

what i know of love

i can’t wait to see

how your story goes

let me tell you

what nobody knows

my baby and i

we were friends in june

meeting each other

underneath the moon

july got hotter

and we got closer

time without you

was getting slower

you and i awake

daydreaming of us

waiting to say it

at an impasse

it was warm enough

in the latest night

suddenly we kiss

under a hundred lights

how kissing goes

you planned ahead

losing our clothes

in my kingsize bed

a love that’s been

waiting a while

unravels like a ribbon

around my smile

how to be happy

i never knew

that answer was

going to lie in you

whether we’re moving

or standing still

i can’t explain

everything i feel

how my chest fills

heart full to burst

when i see your face

nothing else hurts

i don’t know why

but i stopped asking

only we matter

while love is lasting

maybe it’s not

the scorch of summer

the hill or the beach

or the rumble of thunder

it’s just my hand

in yours gently

behind my eyes

glowing intensely

every soft laugh 

and smile and wink

better than i would

ever usually think

because i’ve got love

and i’ve got you

i’ve got something

entirely new

it will change your life

a whole new angle

maybe my story 

is a bad example

but get this part right

listen to every piece

and follow your heart

this is what i'm used to

the guessing and the questions

keeping me awake all night

with all these staged confessions

it's dark when you're not here

your words turn into lies

i hurt myself with your voice

until the tears escape my eyes

i'm desperate for your affection

don't even have to call it love 

i try to give it back to you

but maybe it's not enough

only when you're touching me

or whispering my name

i see your vulnerable smile

only then i feel no pain

until i know the truth my dear

i breathe deep when you're there

my love might be a poison

slowly filling the air

my heart's a broken record 

i'm still learning how to feel 

stop writing shitty poetry 

day in, day out, days in, days out

daze in and i wake up

it’s twenty twentythree

and i’m wondering

where has the time been

it turned into months and weeks

i used to be nineteen

the poems i was writing

about love and boys much older

who only fucked me over

all the best ones so far

are better when i’m not sober

the truth was on that paper

now i’m still here

thinking about you and me

how we used to be sweet

you were a lucky coin, solid gold

then i got sold

and love got old

and grey and tired and lost

the shine in your eyes

died before the sunrise

so now i’m gazing at the moonlight

feeling bad but kinda alright

because i know it comes around

goes around, heartbreak

the kind that makes your whole soul ache

take shots, lay low, and smile fake

death sighs and keeps his eyes

on me, it’s running through my head

you’re so sweet like honey

i love when we get lost

you make me feel so lucky

and you make me feel so soft

when you’re gone, i get this feeling

like you won’t be far away

like i could come home in the evening

and you’ve been waiting there all day

but all i can do is miss you

and write the words i want to say

it's a quiet, lonely thing to do

while the clouds outside are grey

a smile that doesn’t want to leave

and the stuff sunlight is made of

baby when you come back to me

it’s been a month, almost two

spending all my time with you

things to see, things to do