#atumflux

[pt: Genderfluid Experience Post end pt.]

I figured it would make sense to post this here since it’s a gnc and genderqueer experience, so!

I’m faeflux, which means my gender flows through non-masculine & non-male genders and fluctuates in intensity. This past year, though, I’ve been having uncommon times where I feel androgynous rather than feminine, neutral, or outherine, which is new for me. I haven’t felt that way in years.

My pronouns change, usually along with my gender, and that’s broadened, as well. I used to only use she & they (note: please don’t use she/her for me), but I’ve discovered xey/xem/xeir & thxy/thxm and love them. I’ve always liked the pronouns hy/hym conceptually, like they sound cool but aren’t for me, you know? Because I’d “have to” be masculine or a man to be anything similar to he/him.

But yesterday, hy/hym & hx/hxm just clicked. Being a guy, a man, a dude, but not a capital M Man suddenly felt intensely correct in a way I haven’t experienced often or in a long time.

Usually, this is associated with me being kinshifted, since my kin is a man, but I didn’t feel shifted. I felt like me, just now with different terms, like I do when I’m a girl or outherine or neutrois or agender, etc. etc.

I don’t know what this means for me exactly! I’ve identified as genderfae ever since I found the term years ago, so I’m not sure I’ll change labels to accommodate this yet. But I’m adding new pronouns that give me euphoria. I heard the advice once to chase euphoria, not dysphoria, so that’s what I’m doing! Instead of focusing on the dysphoria I’m experiencing from my body, how I’m referred to, my clothing, etc. I’m choosing to focus on the little things I can do to give myself joy.

My name is Wil, and I use xey/thxy/hy/hx/they.