#atticus torrence

Atticus had one hand calmly in his pocket while the other gripped a wand held against another man’s throat. “I’m not gonna ask again: do you know Shirley Miller?”

The man he was holding at wandpoint wetted his lips behind a large mustache, back pressed against the wall of his living room. He held his hands up, one holding a glass of liquor. His wife from the nearby kitchen clutched her necklace and looked between the two men. “Johnny, what is he talking about?”

“I don’t know, darling. I’ve never known anyone by that name in my entire life,” Johnny replied, running his hand through his black hair to smooth it out. He didn’t look Atticus in the eye. Instead he looked at the large burn scar that covered the left side of his face, and the empty socket where his other eye should have been.

“Oh really?” Atticus tilted his head. “Because Shirley knows you. She says you keep bothering her when she tries to go home. She even said you stole a necklace of hers after you beat her in an alleyway for not accepting your advances. Shame really. Told me it belonged to her grandmother.”

“Johnny would never!” The wife protested. “He comes straight home every day after work, he doesn’t go chasing around after flappers and broads. Do you, honey?”

Johnny shook his head vigorously. “Of course not. I love my wife, and only my wife.”

Atticus wasn’t really paying attention to the man anymore, instead turning his attention to the wife. “When did you get that necklace?”

“My-My necklace?” The woman looked down at the necklace hidden by her fist. “Just this Monday, Johnny brought it home as a gift for our anniversary. Why do you ask?”

“That’s funny. That’s the same day Shirley said her necklace was stolen. Tell me, is it a gold locket with a phoenix painted on it?”

The wife glanced between the necklace she was holding and Atticus a few times, her brow furrowing in confusion. “How did you know?”

“Well, that’s the description Shirley gave me. I’ll be taking it back to her now, thank you very much,” Atticus took his hand out of his pocket and held it out.

The wife hesitated before taking it off and slowly walking towards Atticus, putting the locket in his hand before quickly backing away.

Atticus felt Johnny squirm under his wand and pressed it closer to his neck. “Ah ah ah, I’m not done with you yet. Listen to me carefully. If you ever bother Shirley again, I’ll kill you.” He leaned closer to the man’s face until they were only inches apart. He could feel the other man’s breath on his face. “Understood?” He asked coldly.

“Yes,” Johnny finally whimpered out.

“Good,” Atticus stepped away, lowering his wand. “See, wasn’t that easy? Now I’d better be off, because I think you and your wife need to have a conversation, and I want no part of that.” He turned and walked towards the door. 

From behind him he heard the wife cry out “Johnny no!”, and whirled around to see Johnny aiming his own wand at Atticus.

Before Johnny could fire a spell at him, Atticus pointed his wand at him and calmly said “Exarmare.” He felt his energy rush through his wand and out the tip in an invisible blast. Johnny’s wand was knocked out of his hand onto the floor. He looked from his empty hand to Atticus just in time to see him cast another spell. “Subdomo.” Another invisible blast of energy shot out, this time knocking Johnny against the wall. He slammed against it hard and slumped down, unconscious. His wife gasp and covered her mouth with her hands.

Atticus sighed and tucked his wand away. “He’ll be alright. You might want to take him to a hospital once he wakes up though.” With that he grabbed the glass of liquor Johnny had set down on a table and knocked it back. He set it back down and walked out of the apartment.

———————————————————————————

Atticus walked through the dimly-lit city streets of New York alone. At some point he glanced over his shoulder and ducked into an alleyway. He walked halfway then stopped at a flight of stairs and made his way down them, where he was met with a brick wall. He took out his wand and tapped the middle brick, which was brown instead of red like the rest.

The bricks parted, revealing a drab speakeasy. The Blind Tiger. Heads turned to look at Atticus as he walked inside before looking back to their own tables. He was a regular here, so no one ever minded him. The wall returned behind him, each brick returning to their original spot. 

He scanned the room and stopped on a younger woman wish short, curly brown hair and a black eye. She was sitting at a table with a few other ladies, laughing about something Atticus couldn’t quite here. He made his way over to the table, winding around other people as he passed them. The Blind Tiger was surprisingly full tonight.

“Shirley!” Atticus called to the woman. 

She perked up at her name, her eyes widening a little as she saw Atticus. “Did you do it?”

Atticus held up the necklace, setting it in front of Shirley. “Yes. Our little friend Johnny shouldn’t be bothering you anymore. But if he does, you know where to find me.”

Shirley beamed and leaped up, hugging Atticus. “Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!” Atticus stiffened and patted her on the back. Her friends- at least, Atticus assumed they were her friends- exchanged glances of relief and amusement.

“Anytime, ma’am. Now, about payment,” Atticus said. 

Shirley pulled away from the hug, her smile faltering. “Oh, right…” She glanced away before she perked up again. “Wait, how about this? Why don’t you take my locket as payment? I’m a little tight on money right now, and the locket would probably get you more money then I could offer.”

Atticus glanced behind her at the locket and paused for a moment before grabbing it, stuffing it in his pocket. “Okay. Deal.”

Shirley smiled and sat back down in her chair. “Thank you again Mr…”

I remember that this series was inspired by how bad "Fantastic Beast" got after the first film. (which I get, the other two were such wasted potential) Is anything else from Harry Potter being used for inspiration for your series?

How did you come up with your character names?

Who would say is your favorite character that you made?

Do these characters get trauma like the ones in "Upon a Star?"

Are you going to do more Draconology Files? That one caught my interest the most since I'm studying dragon biology for a villain in my superhero story.

Would this be formatted like a regular book, or play out like a movie?

Is Solomonar Chronicles like a series with each chapter being an episode, or one large story broken up into chapters?

Why did you choose the 1920's for the setting? Its not a bad thing, I actually really enjoy stories set in that period. I'm just curious.

Will we see designs for the characters some day?

Any major villains coming up we should know about?

Are there other fantasy creatures in this world, or just dragons?

I was also curious about your "Dinosauroids Project" story too. I finished the first story of my "Visitors From Pangea" trilogy, so I'm curious how you would write a dinosaur based project.

In regards to original stories we're making, I'm currently creating one called "SuperZeroes", where its a story inspired by all the CBM I grew up with. Not sure if you're into heroes, but I was hoping I could share some stuff I have with you? At least while I'm still building the world and characters.

Thank you! 🐶

Oh hell yeah, ask away!

I took a lot of inspiration from problems I found in the world-building. If you want an in-depth look at the flaws in the Wizarding World, I highly recommend this video. It’s very long, but very good. The main flaw I wanted to tackle with this series is the whole Statue of Secrecy, and how it’s more harmful than helpful for mages and non-mages alike. Also this is not a Harry Potter thing, but weirdly enough Deadpool and Wolverine had a heavy influence on the story.

I looked up lists of common names from the 1920s and picked out some that stood out to me for first and last names. Except for Atticus and Clara. Those two just sort of came to me.

Either Atticus or Jesse, it’s a tough choice. On one hand you have Atticus ,who’s deeply traumatized and scarred but over the course of the story slowly heals and finding good in the world again. And on the other is Jesse, who’s just an absolute sweetheart and so supportive of his lover.

Oh heavens no…it’s so much worse in this series. Just look at Atticus.

Yes, I have a couple in my drafts I’ve been meaning to work on.

Im hoping to get it published as a real book series someday, so it’s formatted like a normal novel.

More like a larger story broken up into chapters, for the most part.

Mainly because that was when the Fantastic Beasts trilogy was set. I’ll probably tie it into the themes of the story better with prohibition and the non-mage government, but for now that’s it. Shallow? Yeah. But it works.

I’ve been digging through concept art to use as references lately. So far the pickings are a little slim for how I envision dragons, but I still have some stuff.

Edward Donahue. He’s basically the head of the mage CIA but somehow worse (Keepers), is the strongest believer in keeping non-mages and mages separate, and oh yeah basically started all of this by killing William Torrence and burning half of Atticus’ face off. So yeah, not a great guy.

There are plenty. I’m not sure how I’ll fit them in at the moment, but they will appear, because I have some interesting interpretations. One fun idea I have is making fairies more like bugs than tiny humans.

It’s based of a theory originally created back in the 1980s by David Russell which explores the question of “What if dinosaurs never went extinct and involved human-like intelligence?” It’s a really fascinating concept that I’m surprised more people haven’t picked up on. My own story is based on concept art created by C.M. Koseman and Simon Roy. Unfortunately I don’t have a solid story yet, just some worldbuilding stuff.

Yes please

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy They can say, they can say we’ve lost our minds I don’t care, I don’t care if they call us crazy Runaway to a world that we design

Clara found Atticus on the rooftop. He was lying against a short brick wall, staring up at the stars above with his hands behind his head. He didn’t notice Clara approaching him until she spoke.

“What are you doing up here?” she asked, sitting beside him and adjusting her skirt.

“I’m just trying to clear my head,” Atticus replied, not looking away from the sky. “Are you sure your parents are okay with letting us stay here? I don’t want either of us to be a burden on them.”

“Oh, nonsense. You and Will are welcome to stay as long as you need to,” Clara said.

There was silence for a few minutes as they stared up at the stars. Finally Clara spoke up again. “So, what are your plans going forward?”

Atticus shrugged, sitting up. “Find a job to make ends meet until Will graduates and gets his own job. Then maybe I can go off and work with dragons like I’ve always wanted to.”

Clara nodded, resting her chin on her knees. “Dragons, huh? Sounds kind of…” she hesitated, trying to find the right word.

“Foolish? Halfwitted? Idiotic?” Atticus finished for her, a faint trace of a smile on his lips.

“I was going to say dangerous, but I suppose that works too,” Clara said. Atticus didn’t seem offended by this comment. Clara and him were good enough friends that little joking jabs like that were normal. “I mean, they’re dragons Atticus. They’re big fire-breathing beasts that do more harm than good.”

Atticus pointed a finger at Clara. “And that’s why I want to work with them. To prove that sort of thinking wrong.” He added as he saw Clara’s brows furrow in confusion. “They’re not monsters, they’re animals. And I want to show people that. I want to show other mages they shouldn’t be feared or hunted, but respected. Not just dragons either. Drakes, Lindwurms, Wyverns, all the animals that fall under draconology. If I just study them and educate myself enough, I can educate others and change their minds about dragons.”

Clara sat in silence for a moment, a little stunned by Atticus’s sudden burst of passion. “You’ve been thinking about this for a long while, haven’t you?”

“Of course,” Atticus beamed. “It’s one of those dreams that keeps me up at night. I want to leave the world better then I found it, and I think becoming a draconologist is the best shot I have at doing so.”

“Well, I know you will. And hey, maybe if that doesn’t work out you can come be a professor with me,” Clara said.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Atticus said softly.

The two stared at each other for a few minutes. It was moments like these that made Clara wonder if Atticus liked her as more than just a friend. That warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. The way he seemed so much more comfortable around her than he did most people. How he smiled at her. But she thought if he did feel that way, he would have said something by now. She certainly wouldn’t mind if he did…

Clara cleared her throat and stood up, brushing herself off. “We should go back inside and get some sleep. Especially you.”

“I suppose so,” Atticus stood up and walked towards the door that led into the apartments. Clara followed quietly. She really hoped Atticus could become a draconologist one day. Perhaps even settle down with a nice lady and raise a family of his own. After the things he had endured for seventeen years, he deserved it.

But as Clara would come to discover years later, fate had different plans.

Author Notes

So yeah, I’ve recently been revisiting The Greatest Showman soundtrack and this particular song has become stuck in my head. I thought the first part fit child Atticus very well. But the rest of the song didn’t fit adult Atticus very well, especially the random woman. But when I thought of TEENAGE Atticus however, it lined up a lot better. So I got some inspiration to write a quick scene about him and Clara. I think the reprise of this song fits very well, but for very different, much sadder reasons down the line.

This takes place the day Atticus and Will left their abusive aunt. It was a very impulsive decision, thus they didn’t have anywhere to go. Except for Atticus’s one friend Clara’s home. Thankfully her parents were very kind and empathetic, especially after hearing their story.

I wanted to really show off how Atticus was before Will died and he was branded as a traitor. He had seen a lot, but he tried to not let that affect him. He remained really optimistic and kind, if not still very shy and reserved. He wanted to make the world a better place, even if he was seen as stupid for it. He’s a good person at heart. But that heart has been broken so many times, it’s hard to see.

Also I thought Clara thinking Atticus had a crush on her would be funny. Like no honey, he gay. You’re just the person he feels safest around besides Will.

(inspired by this.)

Charlie had been kind enough to let the group hide in his home. Jesse had wanted to wait until the weather cleared up a little more. But really, everyone just needed a chance to regain their strength. The fight over the last dragon had exhausted everyone. Even Paul, as full of vigor as he usually was, had to take it easy. Two days had passed, and Atticus was already itching to get moving again, especially after the encounter with the Keepers. And the withdrawals he had been nursing- or at least trying to- didn’t help.

On the morning of day three he found himself standing on the bridge into Clifden, leaning on the stone railing and watching the snow drift past onto the icy creek. It was quiet out here, and it gave him a chance to let his mind wander in a way it hadn’t for a while. Mainly to Clara.

He had meant to talk to her, he really had. Not confess anything outright. Just gage his real feeling with her. If she was really just a friend to him or something more. But it wasn’t easy. Atticus didn’t know what he’d do if he really loved her but she loved Jesse. He didn’t want to get in the way of anything. He hated the jealousy he felt when he saw the way she looked at Jesse, or how she touched his hand, or how easily she could make him laugh. If he could, Atticus would bury those feelings and never let them out again. But he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried.

“Feeling any better?”

Well speak of the devil.

Atticus turned as he saw Clara walk over to him, bundled up in her big maroon coat and a scarf around her neck. She leaned on the bridge next to Atticus. “Yes. I’ve still got headaches, but at least I don’t feel like I’m gonna vomit my guts out. Florence offered to make a potion for it, but after the last one I think I would rather drink dragon spit.”

Clara wrinkled her nose. “Ew. I mean I agree, but ew. Maybe you should ask Charlie for one. I’m sure he’s got something.”

Atticus shrugged. “Perhaps, but I’m on the downhill of it now. And I can promise I’m off the hooch for good. I don’t want to go through that stuff ever again. And I haven’t felt this good since I was twenty.”

“That’s good.” Clara smiled softly at Atticus. He was glad she believed in him. He was being very genuine, and the last thing he wanted was for his friends to doubt it. She continued. “I’m so glad you’re getting better. When I walked into that speakeasy and talked to you that night… Merlin’s beard, Atticus, it hurt to see you like that. I had heard some rumors about you, but I didn’t know you were that bad. So I’m so happy to see you improving.”

“Well, I have you to thank for that,” Atticus said. “I was in a really rough place when you found me, and if you hadn’t said what you said and gave me that push, I don’t know what I would have done with myself. The others have helped me a lot to, don’t get me wrong, but you guided me towards the light. So…thank you.”

Clara was silent for a moment, taking in Atticus’s words. Then she wrapped her arms around Atticus and hugged him tight. Atticus was a little taken aback by the contact. But he accepted it, hugging her back in a warm embrace. It felt nice.

“I knew my Atticus was in there somewhere,” Clara said as she pulled away. Atticus simply smiled and nodded, turning back to the view of the creek.

Atticus didn’t feel the spark he thought he would.

Perhaps he didn’t love Clara. At least not like that. So what was with the jealousy he felt when he saw her and Jesse together? Maybe he should just ask her about it up front. Maybe that would make it go away.

He took a deep breath, drumming his fingers on the railing. He really hoped Clara wouldn’t take this the wrong way. “So uh, I’ve been curious about something for a while.”

Clara turned to him. “Oh?”

“I’ve been wondering, are you and Jesse, y’know…together?”

Clara stared at him blankly for a moment.

“I mean, I you two act like you are, but as far as I can remember neither of you have ever said you were a couple.”

“Ah,” Clara chuckled. “I knew something like this would happen eventually. No, we’re just friends. I’m actually married to someone else.”

“Wait, you are?” Atticus asked, straightening up in surprise. He thought he saw Clara flinch and silently curse herself before continuing.

“Yes, I am. I try to not talk about him. I don’t want him to get hurt if anything happens to me,” Clara said.

“Oh, that makes sense,” Atticus replied, relaxing. Clara Hawthorne, a married woman. It was hard to think about for some reason. As he thought more about it, her having a husband, he felt…happy for her. Not jealous, not angry. Happy. And surprised of course. So what in the name of Circe was with his feelings towards Jesse?

Jesse. Atticus felt his heart do that fluttery thing as he thought of the other man again. The way it had when he caught Jesse gazing at him. The way it did when Jesse accidentally brushed against him. Or when he comforted Atticus after the run-in with Donahue, speaking gently to him and staying by his side until he fell into the best sleep he’d had in years, soothed by the other man’s presence.

The realization slowly dawned on Atticus before crashing into him like a wave. It didn’t make his heart flutter, it made it seize up momentarily. He felt his cheeks grow hot despite the cold air. It all made sense now.

He loved Jesse.

Author Notes

No I don’t know how this connects to anything. No I don’t know the other events he’s talking about. And I have no damn clue who Charlie is. All I really know is this would take place a chapter or two before the climax. Keep in mind this is a very early draft, so a lot might change.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

Atticus had been pacing in the small hotel room for the better part of a hour, gripping a bottle of whiskey and trying to calm himself down. As soon as they had gotten back he had told the others to leave him alone, perhaps harsher than he meant to, and locked himself up in his room. He couldn’t stop thinking about those memories that had flashed through his head when Donahue cornered him. That fateful flash of light. William and Nancy lying on the ground. The dawning realization that they were dead. The memories had faded over the years, but now they were flooding back, as strong as ever.

Then there was what Donahue said. “No one will ever love you, Atticus. Because you aren’t worth loving.”

And Atticus believed him.

A knock on the door startled Atticus out of his thoughts. He chugged some of the alcohol, stormed towards the door, and almost ripped it open. Jesse was standing on the other side, flinching as the door flew open. “What do you want?” Atticus asked.

“Can we talk?” Jesse asked.

“No,” Atticus tried to shut the door, but Jesse stopped him.

“Please, I just want to help you.”

Atticus snorted humorlessly. “Why the hell would you want to help me? Leave me alone.”

“Atticus, please, I’m worried about you. Clara and Florence are too,” Jesse said.

Atticus’ jaw clenched. “Why do you people want to bother me so much? Just leave. Me. Alone.”

There was a few moments of silence before Jesse shoved his way through the door. “Okay, you know what? No. You’re not doing this shit tonight.” He closed the door behind him. Atticus took a step back, surprised by Jesse’s sudden shift. “You’re not going to push me away like this. I’ve been trying to talk to you through this whole trip, but you’ve just ignored me.”

Atticus snorted and set the bottle of whiskey down on the nightstand. “Oh come on, the last thing I need right now is a lecture from you-“

“Quiet.”

Atticus snapped his mouth shut, again startled by Jesse’s harsh tone.

“You can’t just shove people away like this. It’s not good for you, or us. You’ve done nothing but act like a pessimistic asshole this whole mission. Do you really want to treat us like that. Do you want to treat Clara like that?” Atticus winced at the mention of her. “Every time one of us tries to reach out and help you, you just run. But you can’t run from your problems forever. You can’t bottle up your emotions like you have been and wallow in your own self-destruction. If you just let one of us talk to you, we could help you. I could help you. But you have to let me help you.”

”…why are you so insistent on this?” Atticus asked dryly.

“Oh for god’s sake- because I care about you!” Jesse snapped. “We all do! Atticus, we’re your friends. Friends care about each other they help one another when they need it most. I don’t want to see you like this.” He took a deep breath and stepped closer to Atticus, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Please just…talk to me. Talk to me about what’s going on.”

Atticus’ heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn’t speak, and he could barely breathe. Jesse was right. Of course he was. He couldn’t run from his past forever. It seemed like it had a habit of catching up to him at the worst of times. But he was so scared of it. Scared of confronting it, scared of acknowledging that it happened. Because that meant facing the fact that he failed to protect two innocent people. One of which being his brother, no less.

“Fine,” Atticus finally said. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

Jesse looked relieved as he walked around Atticus. He grabbed the chair from the desk by the window. He put it in front of the bed, sitting down. Atticus sat on the bed, crossing his legs. “So, what happened back at that house?” Jesse asked.

Atticus glanced away, figuring out how to phrase his words best. “I ran into someone who…hurt me. He hurt my brother too, a long time ago.”

“Edward Donahue,” Jesse said.

“Yes,” Atticus replied.

“What did he do, exactly? Did it have to do with non-mages?”

Atticus felt his throat close up and could only nod. He really didn’t want to talk about this. He certainly didn’t want to talk about it to the man he was jealous of. But now he felt like he had no choice. So he looked out the window and began. God, he wished he had more whiskey right now.

“My brother William. He fell in love with a non-mage, Nancy, and broke the Code of Secrecy. He didn’t want to break things off with her though. So he planned on moving to Ireland or Scotland with her. You know, somewhere where the rules are a lot looser. He convinced me to come along. Thought I was too unhappy in New York and that a change of scenery would do me some good.” Atticus looked down, plucking at a loose thread on the blanket.

“I don’t know how, but the Keepers found out. We were traveling at night to the docks when they confronted us. An argument broke out, and Will tried to protect Nancy from getting her memories wiped. He casted a shield spell, and Donahue mistook it for a threat. So a fight broke out. I was just trying to fend off the Keepers, trying to get Will and Nancy out of danger. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. Then Donahue-” Atticus had to pause, his voice shaking as he spoke again. “He killed them. Both of them. He claimed it was an accident but I knew better than that”

“Then they arrested me. The jury said I was innocent and only trying to defend myself, but I think the USMC was just trying to cover their asses and keep the newspapers off their backs. Donahue wasn’t happy. He thought I should be sent to prison and rot as a traitor. So he did the next best thing he could think of.” His body was trembling now. He grabbed his right arm, running his thumb along the inner side of it. “He ganged up on me with a couple other Keepers as I was going home and…”

He gestured vaguely at the scar that covered the left side of his face. Jesse’s eyes widened with horror as the realization dawned on him. Atticus shrugged. “I suppose that’s what I deserve for failing to protect them.”

For a minute neither of the two men spoke. The only sound was some faint chatter in the hallway. Atticus couldn’t meet Jesse’s gaze. Each time he tried he felt like he was about to fall apart.

“I’m not a good person to be around, Jesse,” Atticus finally said, his voice hitching a little. “All I do is hurt people. It’s what I do for a living. And the people I care about get hurt or killed, so it’s for the best if they just stayed away from me. Because if I don’t hurt them, I’ll just be a burden on them. And I don’t want to put that on anyone.”

He put his head in his hands. He couldn’t do this. He needed to leave. He was just a drunken nuisance the others had to deal with. They didn’t deserve to deal with his shit. Not Jesse. Not Florence. Not Clara…God, not Clara. Not after how kind she had been to him. Panic flooded his chest. He couldn’t do this. He-

“Atticus. Atticus look at me.” Atticus flinched at the voice, and looked up to see Jesse was sitting beside him on the bed. He forced himself to look him in the eye. His gaze was soft and filled with empathy. “It’s not your fault. You are not a burden.”

Atticus took a deep, shaking breath. “You don’t know me Jesse, I’m not…I’m not a good person.”

“I think you are,” Jesse said. Atticus blinked. “The past doesn't define who you are, what you do now does. But only you can make yourself better. Nothing is going to change until you do. And you can’t love anyone else until you stop destroying yourself over something that’s not even your fault. And sure, maybe I don’t know you that well. But I believe you have as much capacity for good as anyone else. You just need to find it.” He took Atticus’s hand in his own, making his heart flutter a little. “It’s going to be okay.”

“But-”

“You’re going to be okay.”

Atticus felt his resolve finally break. Tears he had been holding back desperately spilt out and ran down his cheeks. “How? How do I keep going when I have nothing left?”

Jesse pulled Atticus into a warm and tender embrace. “You don’t have to do it alone. You never did. You have The Order, you have Florence, you have Clara, and…and you have me,” he spoke gently, voice thick with emotion. Atticus buried his face into Jesse’s shoulder, letting out a sob. “We’re not leaving you. No matter how bad things get, not matter how dark the road ahead is, we’ll be right here with you.”

Atticus gripped Jesse a little tighter, and felt him adjust so they were leaning against the headboard. And for the first time he felt a spark of something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Hope.

It felt so small and so fragile, but it was there. That was all Atticus needed for now.

“Can you stay for a little longer?” Atticus asked weakly.

“Of course,” Jesse replied, resting his hand on Atticus’s head. “As long as you want me to.”

Atticus relaxed completely, practically melting into the embrace. Silence enveloped them again, but it felt more comfortable now. He focused on the sounds around them. Jesse’s steady breathing, the gentle thump of his pulse, faint voices from the hallway. For the first time in years, he felt completely at ease. He stayed holding onto Jesse and lost track of time.

Atticus didn’t realize he’d dozed off until sunlight hit his eyes the next morning. His head was pounding. He lifted his head and realized he and Jesse were still holding each other. Jesse was peacefully asleep, resting against the headboard of the bed. Atticus smiled a little at the sight. He slowly untwined himself from Jesse’s arms, making sure to not wake him up. He got out of bed and noticed the bottle of whiskey on the nightstand. It was almost empty. He thought about the conversation him and Jesse had the night before and grabbed the bottle, tossing it into a bin.

So, basically, he comes to the Renegades (placeholder name for the rebellion) because hey why not. And Clara, who initially pushed him to join, introduces him to all the important folks and the dragon team, including the leader Jesse. And he watches the way him and Clara interact very intimately with each other. Not an outright couple, but you could read it that way. And Atticus suddenly feels very strange about it. Jealous, almost. But he doesn’t know why. It’s only ever when Clara and Jesse are around and interacting with each other.

And of course Atticus comes to the natural conclusion: he loves Clara romantically. Hey, they’ve known each other for long enough. It would make sense he’s only feeling this now as an adult and be able to discern it. Never mind the fact he feels nothing when Clara and him are alone but his heart always flutters a little when Jesse so much as breathes around him.

But as the book goes along he starts to doubt his own feelings and eventually works up the courage to sort his feelings out and talk to Clara. Not confess anything to her, just talk and gage his emotions.

They talk it out and oh hey, Clara says her and Jesse aren’t a thing. Cool. Great. But oh wait, it turns out she has a husband. Oh well, that’s fine. Good for her.

…Wait.

Atticus isn’t feeling that same jealousy towards her husband. He doesn’t feel any attraction towards her actually. She’s just a friend to him. Then what the hell was with those feelings towards Jess-