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INSTAGRAM    /    ft.  bellamy  blake  (  @atlsbrn  )

ft. bellamy blake ( @atlsbrn )

“ you’re going to be okay. i-i’m right here, okay? ” she drops her forehead against his, squeezes her eyes shut and keeps repeating it over and over again until she can’t feel his cheeks on her hands anymore. a sob breaks through her before her eyes are even open. clarke doesn’t want to open them but she knows she has to. slowly, she does. and when her eyes adjust to the brightness, bellamy is nowhere to be seen. “ honey? ” she asks weakly, hoping to see him walk out of the bathroom with a smile on his face. instead, all she sees is some sort of dust floating away. clarke starts crying again. her daughter joins her a few seconds later.

[    sms      »      bellamy b.   ]      i’m done talking, bellamy. [    sms      »      bellamy b.   ]      all we do is hurt each other. [    sms      »      bellamy b.   ]      what else could there possibly be left to say?

( msg. grandpadre. 1:45 pm. ) »   dad did you die ?  did i need to call 9-1-1 and get them sent to your work.   ya know some people would hide this, but i’m just telling you. that’s gotta count.  …right?

        lyanna has always known who her family is and those who are not.   it’s a little complicated though ,  because the only person she’s ever really connected with && would , does , trust without a doubt is her older brother roan.    he was who she looked up to as she was growing up , the person she aspired to be like , but he was also the one who shielded her from their mother.  he guided her , protected her ,  && was there when she needed him until she grew up && never treated her any different    (roan was always considered nia’s  ‘star kid’ because he was the heir)   being the child of nia was never easy ,   && because of how her mother chose to treat her ,  teaching her how to be a ‘true azgeda’ ,   lyanna was shaped into the person she was meant to be.    though nia taught her the true azgeda way ,  it was roan who reminded her that there was more than just feeling the need to live up to their mothers expectations.   that she could be azgeda && not completely shut herself down or   keep those she wanted in her life ,  from loving someone else ,  out of her life.    roan is her hero ,  the person she loves most && she’d do anything for him.    she’d give her life for him , protect him , defend him . . whatever the case might be—same goes for her clan.    roan && her clan are all she has ,  && lyanna is content with that.

        she presses every ounce of feeling into the kiss  .  up on her toes  ,  arms wrapped around his neck  ,  not a breath of space between them as her body presses against his  .  this could be it  ,  she reminds herself  ,  makes sure to soak him in as much as she can  .  clarke puts on a brave face  .  jokes around his worry and makes promises she may not be able to keep  .  the desert killed her father  ,  killed so many of the people she grew up with  .  it could kill her too  .  so he holds on to him longer than what may be deemed appropriate for public  .  they’ve only been together  ,  in the same timezone  ,  for a few months  ,  but it’s still killing her to walk away  ,  to leave his arms  .  she pulls back just enough to look into his eyes and prays he’s too caught up in the moment to see the fear in hers  .  one more peck and then she’s sliding away  .  “  i’ll see you on the other side  ,  ”  she hopes she’s not lying  ,  “  and i’ll call you everyday that i can  .  ”