#atifali

When I first started learning to sing I thought a voice was just a voice. Sure mine is a bit sweeter and softer than others, but what’s the big deal? I never really paid attention to the voice itself as I was so hung up in just wanting to sing and spent more time listening to other people’s voices i.e. Lata, Shreya etc. Listening to these voices wasn’t just learning but relaxing. 

I never really stopped to think about my own voice as I was too busy developing it. Looking back I dont even know how I developed it. I remember a vocal teacher trying to teach me to sing with emotion quite a few years back. Well that clearly wasn’t happening. You can’t force someone to sing with emotion. Either they feel it or they dont. In my case I dont feel it, i live it. I live the song before I recorded, during the recording and after I recorded. It’s like it takes over my whole spirit. With the Album being really full on I never had the time to even stop to think about my voice. Don’t get me wrong, I hear it, but I never really paid any special attention to it. Until today. 

I was sat here appreciating all the people who send me messages daily complimenting my voice. Some people ask me how I learnt to sing in Hindi / Urdu living in London. Truthfully I dont even know the answers to these questions. 

A lot goes into the production of a song - the music, lyrics, composition etc. Atif Ali is my Producer. He is also my Music Director. Guiding me in the studio, vocally getting it out the way he wants it. He also happens to be my Mentor. He’ll put me in the right direction. Especially when I tend to lose focus. 

Fever, flu, lost ½ my voice. I was in tears this morning at the breakfast table in my hotel apartment. I tried to contain myself and as my eyes filled with water, the 16 year old waiter came over and asked “Mam are you ok.”

Obviously I was going to say “yes, I’m fine thanks” like I always do when someone asks me how I am. But this lad just didn’t take no for an answer, he said “I can see you’re crying,” (at that point the teardrops were in my eyes not on the tablecloth!).. and boy it all came gushing out, like I was in front of a best friend. He was stood wondering what to do (bless him) as I quickly picked up my phone and ipod and ran to my room.

I’m so upset. I’m not singing, or recording. Imagine how many thousands of miles I have travelled to get here and someone up there has put a stop on it. Yeh mate I don’t think so somehow. I make my own destiny and each present second defines my own fate.

I don’t care how many medicines I need to down, I’ll do it (courtesy of my travel insurance!).

Just had a drip at the London Dubai Clinic and they said no antibiotics and plenty of rest. When I asked him, how does he expect me to rest when I’ve got recordings to be getting on with, he asked “are you a singer?” I was not impressed. For real, I need to check what my PR team are playing at.