#atee

I'm still writing more for that, but lately my job has gotten busier with me now having more responsibilities as a…team lead! Yep, I've been promoted meaning my uploads: updates will be a bit slower than normal. But I'm still writing, and I've been struggling a lot mentally.

Like a lot, my depression has gotten so much worse than how it was in high school maybe it’s because I'm adulting.

My depression has gone to shits, there are times when I find myself almost relapsing into self-harm.

Something I haven't done for 7 years now, I began to notice that I tend to lose motivation for everything. Even getting out of bed for work, anyway just wanted to keep my readers, my honey bunches posted that I'm still alive but managing.

I woke up to the soft, steady beeping of the heart monitor. For a moment, I didn't remember where I was. The sterile hospital scent, the pale blue curtain, the stiff sheets beneath my cheek—then I felt the rise and fall of San's chest beneath my ear.

Memory came crashing, my throat tightened, San was still sleeping, head turned slightly towards me, lips parted, his breathing shallow but steady. In the sunlight filtering through the blinds, he looked impossibly gentle — so unlike the man who had thrown himself into danger hours earlier.

Carefully sliding my fingers over his hand, tracing the bruises along his knuckles. My eyes sting, "You're okay," I whispered. More to myself than to him, "You're okay... thank God."

He stirred at the sound of my voice, brow tightening like even in sleep he expected pain.

Lifting my head a little. "It's okay. I'm right here."

His eyes flickered open — groggy, confused for half a second before they softened at the sight of me. "Hi," he breathed, I smile shakily. "Hi."

Then he winced, a sharp inhale twisting his ribs. I immediately braced a hand against his shoulder to steady him. "San, don't move too fast—"

"I'm fine." It was a lie, he couldn't even shift without pain shooting through him. But before I could scold him, a doctor stepped inside with a clipboard.

"You're awake," the doctor sighed, relieved. "Your ribs are bruised, not broken. You lost a lot of blood but stabilizing well."

San nodded weakly, his palm sliding to my thigh, grounding himself. The doctor continued, "The police want to speak with both of you. Only a few questions. They'll make it brief."

I swallowed, I wasn't ready. But I nodded, the officer entered a moment later — calm, gentle-eyed, but professional. "Miss Kenzo, Mr. Choi... we've identified the intruders."

I froze, San didn't look away from me — not once — but I felt him tense beneath me.

The officer continued, "Two have priors for burglary and intimidation. But the leader — the one who appeared to speak the most — he's connected to a larger network. They've been paid more than once to retrieve... documents."

My heart dropped, San's jaw tightened, eyes flickering with something dark and furious.

Documents. The envelope. I looked down, "I didn't even read it," I whispered. "I didn't open anything except—except that first one by accident—"

The officer nodded. "Which may have been enough. Someone hired them not just to retrieve the envelope — but to ensure no one who saw its contents could talk. It could be a business rival of yours, Mr. Choi... or something more personal."

San let out a slow, shallow breath. His fingers closed around my hand like he feared losing me again. "We'll continue digging," the officer said. "For now, they're in custody. You're safe."

After he left, the hospital room fell into soft quiet again.

I leaned into San carefully. "Someone wanted to terrify us." his eyes closed briefly — not from pain this time, but from holding back something sharp. "They wanted to hurt you," he said softly. "I'll never forgive that."

His voice trembled in a way I rarely heard, it wasn't anger. It was fear.

I cupped his cheek, forcing him to meet my eyes. "You saved me," I whispered. "You got up when you could barely stand. You fought for me. I'm... I'm right here because of you."

San pressed his forehead against mine, his breath warm and unsteady. "I couldn't lose you," he whispered. "I can't—Y/N, I—" His voice broke.

Wrapping my arms around him slowly, careful not to hurt him, resting my cheek against his shoulder. He held me back, fingers curling desperately into my shirt. For a long moment, we didn't speak.

Then San's voice came again — low, pained, certain: "This isn't over. Whoever hired them... they're still out there."

I nodded slowly, my pulse hammering. "I know," I whispered. "And we'll face it together." San's hand found mine under the blankets, squeezing gently. "Always," he breathed.

The hospital lights had dimmed by evening, leaving the room washed in a warm, muted glow. A thin drizzle tapped against the window, soft and steady, like the world outside was trying not to disturb us anymore.

San hadn't let go of my hand since he woke again. Not once.

He lay half-propped against the pillows, eyes still tired, lips pale, but his grip was warm and firm. I sit curled in the chair beside him, knees up to my chest, chin resting on one of them as I watch him with a softness I haven't yet learned how to hide. "You should sleep," I murmured gently. San shook his head. "Not until you close your eyes first."

"You barely slept at all."

"And you didn't sleep last night," he countered.

Our eyes met, there were no raised voices, no frustration — just two souls trying to guard each other before guarding themselves. I sighed and leaned closer, brushing my thumb over the back of his hand. "San... nothing's going to happen to me here." He didn't blink, didn't exhale.

"Someone hired them, Y/N." His voice was low, rough. "Someone who knew where we were. Someone who sent them after you." I swallowed, pulse quickening. "Because I opened the envelope?" San's jaw flexed, the muscle tightening beneath bruised skin.

"There were only a few people who knew that house was available this month," he said quietly. "And fewer who knew about the documents I was keeping off-site." I frowned softly. "You think the envelope was targeted?"

"I think it was bait," San replied. "Meant to draw attention. Meant to test who opened it. Someone wanted to see if I slipped." He paused and looked at me.

~~~ San ~~~

Something in his eyes cracked just a little, "And they put you in the crossfire."

Y/N’s heart clenched, she lifted his hand to her cheek, closing her eyes against the warmth of his palm. "San... you're allowed to be angry," she whispered. "But not at yourself." His breath hitched, God, I loved her.

But instead of saying it, he leaned forward — slow, careful — and kissed her forehead. His lips lingered there, soft and trembling. "I'm not angry at myself," he murmured against her skin. "I'm furious at them."

Y/N threaded her fingers through his hair and stroked gently. "We'll figure out who it was. Together." San opened his eyes, dark with worry, and cupped her face with both hands — ignoring the pain it caused him. "I don't want you going anywhere alone," he said, voice steady but weighted. "Not until we know who's behind this." Y/N blinked, surprise flickering through her. "San..."

"I'm serious." His thumbs brushed her cheeks. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. Not for coffee. Not for a walk. Not even down the hall."

"San—"

His voice lowered, soft but unshakable. "You almost died." The words fell heavy between them, Y/N leaned into his touch, closing the space until her forehead rested against his. "I'm right here," she whispered. "You saved me." His breath trembled at the memory — fear and relief crashing together. "I'm still scared," he admitted.

"So am I." Her fingers curled into the front of his hospital gown. "But we're scared together." Something in him eased — a breath he hadn't released since the shed finally letting go.

He tugged her gently until she climbed into the bed beside him, curling against his side. San slipped an arm around her shoulders, holding her close, protective, tender.

The storm outside continued tapping the window. A quiet, thoughtful rhythm.

Y/N rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Stronger than earlier. Steadier.

"You're never losing me," she whispered, barely audible. San pressed a kiss to her hair. "I don't plan to."

They lay like that for a long, long time — two bruised bodies, two frightened hearts, wrapped together in warmth while the world outside whispered secrets.

Jeong Yunho

the two of you always do silly things together

either one of you would be cracking a joke with the other 

laughs and giggles surround your entire relationship

likes to give you piggyback rides and princess carry you just because you’re “tiny” to him

very playful when you’re around each other

but when it comes to it he can get earnest and protective about anything threatening related to you

“You okay my love?”

Kang Yeosang

the both of you have a whole facial routine that you have to follow through every night

he likes to shower together whenever he can

buys you lots of expensive beauty products that he approves of and wants you to use with him

prefers to stay at home ideally with you on his off days to spend quality time together

but he would be down in a heartbeat if you just mentioned that you want to go somewhere or want something

even if it is in the middle of the night, he’d do it

“Oh? Consider it done baby, wait for me.” 

Choi San

he unleashes his cute side whenever you’re around despite wanting to appear stoic and manly around others

follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy

likes to take you out on food dates

loves complimenting you random times a day for just about anything

you absolutely endear him when he introduces one of his plushy collections

“Look darling! This one looks just like you! It’s a cute bunny, hehe.”

Song Mingi

he enjoys taking you on random vacations and trips

has to hold your hand wherever he goes as he claims it comforts him

showers you with affection and hugs especially back-waist hugs because of your size differences

absolutely has to cuddle or spoon when in bed together whether it’s relaxing or sleeping

loves sniffing your hair or the perfume you had on that particular day because it’s calming to him

“Mm, you smell so sweet today beautiful, come closer.”

Jung Wooyoung

always showers you with kisses and pecks whenever he can

enjoys bringing you to his family home and letting you be engulfed in the affection of his family members

loves mentioning and introducing you to everyone he engages with

eager to marry you ever since the beginning and wants to have children with you

hopes that the kids the both of you will bear would resemble you the most

“Let’s make it official, shall we dear? And have adorable children together please~” 

Choi Jongho

always makes you feel safe and assured in every aspect of your life

his goofiness makes you laugh all the time even when you’re down

loves singing you to sleep while he caresses your hair 

very mature and responsible even though he is younger

likes to help you with everything he can even when you say you don’t need help

“Here, I’ll do that for you honey, don’t hurt your hands.”