#at10

Once again, she thanked us: “Thank you all so much for coming.” and “Thank you all for being a part of my life.” She thanked us for making her, at times when she’s in a dark place – “‘cause everyone of us has these moments” – at times “when I don’t feel strong...” “...I think of this event” ...and the letters we’ve written to her. And that there’s a group of people who believe in her and support her. 

Then she looked to her mother. “Thank you, mum, for birthing me.”

Then her last words to the audience: “Please know how much I admire and respect (I think she also said, ‘and love’) you. My love, my love, my love...”

Short answer: YESSSSSS!

Longer answer (which is going to be in bullet points because I will be jumping around like a headless chicken (wut?) from thought to thought):

OMG Amanda can do no wrong! She walked into the cocktail party in that gorgeous dress she was wearing fucking floating! She was so bloody graceful it wasn’t fair!

Also, she is amazingly pretty dolled up for a cocktail party. Literally thought she was golden when I saw her, she was just radiantly beautiful!

I met @snooneko on the Friday, got hugs! (She is as lovely on Tumblr as she is in RL, follow her if you don’t already).

Was made to feel welcome by a lady called Laurie who’s a massive RDA fan (like, super huge fan of his), and another lady called Robin (remind me later to try and explain charades and her question), and they said they were gonna be staying in the lobby to watch everyone in their pretty cocktail party stuff.

Made friends with a woman called Angie from Switzerland (she taught herself English reading Harry Potter), and we watched the cocktail party parade together.

Made friends with a woman named Clare (more on her later - she is a fucking star btw, @snooneko will attest to that).

Sometime on the Friday I met @amanda-tapping-ripples but literally for a few minutes (I’m not sure what happened, but I am also a total div - was meant to watch Stuck with a group she was putting together, forgot, watched pretty dresses on parade).

Had a drink with @snooneko and two ladies from her table. Somehow I got given Welsh cakes (I’m pretty sure I’m the only Welsh person I know who could go to England and come home to Wales with two packs of Welsh cakes! XD), and saw pictures of one of the ladies we were with with Jonathon Young when he did Betroffenheit in London. Got super jealous.

(Got super jealous of @snooneko - Amanda sat next to her at the cocktail party and she made AT laugh!)

Met @amaradangeli (she came up to me and I must have had the dopiest look on my face because I’m a crappy person) and she introduced me to @mominhighheels (and possibly @samantha-carter-is-my-muse - I think it was you anyways). They were all so cool. (Felt a bit overwhelmed, which is stupid because they were lovely!!)

Laughed so much during all the Q and A’s. Seriously, she has a grace and loveliness that I can only hope to imitate, and a filthy mind.

She ships Sam/Jack haaaaaaaard.

And she rode a unicorn scooter! (That was later.)

And she smiled at me when she was walking through the lobby to go to the photo shoots. Like, I smiled (and waved? Can’t remember, poo) at her first and she saw and she smiled back and my morning was made.

Hung out more with Angie, and with Clare. And Sarah (who had been before - Clare, Angie, @snooneko and I were all newbs).

Made a ribbon flower in the Nubbins Nursery (the craft room). Craft room was looked after by a few ladies, one being the lady who made those awesome keyrings @viennainspringtime linked to a few months ago. (Taught said lady how to make a chain in crochet! Also sat there on the Sunday with my letter to Amanda in an envelope and Laura chucked something over to me and whacked the can of Coke I had ONTO MY SEALED ENVELOPE!!!! Went and got another envelope in the end. It was all cool.)

MASQUERADE BALL!!!!!!

I wore a dress and make up. (Sent selfies to Hubs and @rinari7, and people saw me so I’m not making up the being a girl aspect of the night.)

Amanda said at the end of the auction to make good choices because we’d be starting early the next day.

I did not make good choices.

I made choices that gave me a hangover.

Spent the evening with Clare and Angie. Danced the macarena on the dance floor. Sang along to Let It Go and Time Warp at the table. Deafened everyone.

I tried to write my letter to Amanda drunk. Don’t do that. I have the first two drafts at home, and they are literal rambles in places as I try to explain why I adore her and Sanctuary and Stargate so much. (And possibly a bit about how I want Charlie to look up to Sam as a reason she can do whatever she wants, because if Sam can, Charlie can, but like I said, drunk. Don’t write drunk.)

Woke up hungover after three/four hours sleep. Worth it.

Charades was the third Q and A’s theme - all questions asked were in charade form (because a few events ago, Amanda came with pneumonia - that’s how much she loves the event). Ask anyone about Moby Dick, just not me, because I laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing.

She’d have Tesla, Mother Theresa and David Bowie to dinner (you know the ‘any three dead people you could invite to dinner, who would it be’ thing? Yeah that.)

Sylvia (Silvia? Not 100% sure how she spells her name) rested her head against me. I was a pillow. S’cool - I have enough padding. XD (She’s the lady who makes those awesome Sam/Jack chibis - is she on Tumblr?)

I spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much on the tombola, but got what I wanted by the end of Sunday. XD

Got Sanctuary s3 dvds signed!

And my pic with Amanda.

Got made leader of my little group because of my big mouth (think that’s why anyways…)

Decided I want a t-shirt that says, ‘Am I invisible?’ on one side and, ‘Wait for it!’ on the other.

Amanda Tapping has a dirty mind. I hope it never changes.

“You’re bloody right I am.”

“Can I read it in a British accent?!”

She smiled at me at the closing ceremony! (Lesson I’ve learnt - smile at people!)

OMFG I ALMOST FORGOT SHE WHISPERED IN MY EAR DURING OUR SECOND HUG AT THE PICTURE TAKING!!! (I said I was so happy to finally be there and meet her and she said thank you for coming as she was hugging me and gaaaaaaaah!!!)

Didn’t go to bed on Sunday until after 1am.

I didn’t want the weekend to end.

I loved it.

I loved every damned minute, even when I was missing Mark and Charlie (and I missed them loads, especially when there was a little girl, just a bit younger than Charlie, dressed up as Sam, cosplaying and saying things like, ‘Jack, I need you!’ My fricken ovaries man!)

I had so much fun.

If you ever get the chance, go to it!

I loved it. XD

Shit, that is stupid long. And I’ve missed shit (like singing Popular with @snooneko in the queue to the photos, and air guitaring with her to the 80s bangers they were playing, and the quest for cocktails with Clare that never came to fruition - next year darling!) and I’ve probs missed people (sorry, I’m a div, as stated previously), but seriously, it was amazing and I loved it. ATX (like the iPhone) was meant to be the last one, but now it’s just the last one, “in that format,” so yeah…

I’m flying, I’m invisible and I’m naked.

At the very first panel, after greeting us and some small talk she started talking about how she’d been really nervous, prior to the event. Not the kind of nervousness she usually experiences before these events and at the beginning of the panel, something else. Hence, she had been asking herself, why this particular time felt so different - realising that it was because they (Amanda as well as Gabit) had said that it would probably be their last event.

She did have moments, leading up to this weekend, where she had “woken up in a panic in the middle of the night”, not knowing why at first. ...but soon she realised that... (At that point, she started crying and her voice was breaking. She wasn’t able to finish the sentence and instead looked to the little table behind her on her right and then in Julia’s direction.)

“I need tissues...” (A fan threw a pack of tissues onto the stage, which made everyone laugh. Amanda picked it up.) “Anyway, what I realised was that I don’t know how to possibly pay you guys back...”

She repeated that she doesn’t know how to pay it back and that she was grateful for “what you have given to me”. “To Amanda, the actress and to Amanda, the human being.” “Thank you for your incredible generosity”. Still very emotional, she also expressed the same sentiment for the G4, saying that she would never be able to pay them back.

Again, she reiterated that what she’d realised is that she doesn’t know how to pay us back.

There’s a masquerade disco thing at AT10?

*Looks in mind palace’s wardrobe*